by Linda Grimes
particularly graceful look for anybody, much less the Queen, but my legs were too shaky to run, and at least it got me there
without dropping me on my ass. As soon as I pushed the door open a few inches I was smacked in the face with a heady aroma.
Rum. Old barrels lined the perimeter of the large space, most of them topless, some knocked on their sides. The place was run-down and dusty, probably abandoned years ago.
Tied to a pole in the center was Trey, in al his half-naked splendor, arms stretched taut behind him. Bily, staying true to his
Mina form, had run to him, and was fussing over him big-time while the Swede looked on, gun in hand. I wanted nothing more
than to join the Trey love-fest, but common sense prevailed. Edith wouldn’t do it, so I couldn’t either.
Not knowing precisely the best way to handle the transfer of funds, I cleared my throat. Al eyes swiveled my way. Hard to say
who looked more surprised to see me—Trey or the kidnapper. Bily just compressed his Mina-mouth into a what-the-hel-are-you-doing-here line of displeasure. I answered him with an it’s-not-my-fault shrug, and held up the straw bag.
They al kept staring. Geez, had I grown a third boob? “Mina got our purses mixed up,” I explained, plastering a cheery smile
on my face. When it appeared they stil weren’t grasping the significance, I added, “I thought she might require hers? You know,
the one with the money in it?”
The kidnapper cocked his head. “How thoughtful of you. Put it there, on the floor.” I complied, leaving it a few yards from his
feet. Without taking his eyes off me, he said, “Mina, bind our elderly friend—”
“What? Me? Why tie me up?”
“—and secure her to that crate. See that you do a good job. I wil be checking.”
The crate was old and splintered, crawling with indigenous insect life. Oh, crap! Were those spiders? I sucked in a breath,
almost choking on my own spit. “Realy, this isn’t at al necessary,” I said, trying to sound reasonable as I digested the possibility
that multilegged microdemons from hel would be creeping up my legs within seconds.
“I’m afraid it is. You won’t be continuing with us. But don’t worry. You won’t be stuck here for long. A guard swings by every
day or two.”
Okay, screw reasonable. “Now, you wait just a doggone minute, buster!” I said in my sternest voice, only slightly strangled by
panic. Remember what I said about patience? Wel, I don’t do spiders either.
The Swede gestured toward a pile of rope, then pointed the gun right at Bily, who reluctantly obeyed orders. While he tied my
hands behind my back, he whispered near my ear, shielding his mouth with a fal of his Mina-hair. “Relax, cuz. They’re not
venomous. Now, do me a favor—make some noise.”
A day or two tied up in a smely old warehouse? With spiders? Who cared if they weren’t venomous? They were spiders. Hel
yeah, I’d make some noise. “Nooo! You can’t leave me here!” I holered, struggling against my bonds. “Pleeease! I, uh, I have
asthma. If I can’t reach my inhaler I’l have an attack. I could die! I don’t want to DIIIIIE—”
The Swede approached, looming over me, his gun inches from my temple. “Silence! You are lucky I don’t kil you now and be
done with it.”
Ack. I slammed my mouth shut. Right. Silence. I could do that. Gun trumps spiders.
Bily took over as noisemaker, backing away and screaming wildly, faking the fear that would be normal for Mina under the
circumstances. At least, I hoped he was faking. It would be nice if one of us remained cool-headed.
The Swede turned his attention—and his gun—from me to Mina. “Shut up! Or I wil shoot you both.”
While Bily and I had been throwing our respective fits, Trey had been busy freeing himself. Apparently Bily had slipped him
something while ooh-ing and aah-ing over him—a sharp something, judging by the blood dripping from Trey’s fingers. Bily was
awfuly fond of blades. As I stared in openmouthed admiration of his escape skils, Trey snuck up on the kidnapper from behind,
doubled up his bloody fists and brought them down, malet-like, on the side of the man’s neck.
Nighty night, asshole.
*
I had a much easier go of it on the way back to the resort, sitting on the rear seat of the tandem and letting Trey do the steering, as
wel as ninety percent of the pedaling. Trust me, his legs were up to the task. Glutes, too, from the look of them, I thought,
glancing down and enjoying the view between my handlebars.
Trey had thought it best to leave the Swede tied up at the warehouse, and phone in an anonymous tip to the police later. He
didn’t want having to deal with the local cops to interfere with the rest of his and Mina’s vacation. Also, if the newshounds got
wind of a rich American being kidnapped there’d be a feeding frenzy, so I could see his point. Given the sensitive nature of my
own involvement, I wasn’t sorry to keep prying eyes away from us. Heck, I was just happy to have him back, so I could wrangle
the proposal out of him. Once I handed the ring over to Mina, colected my fee, and paid off a few dozen creditors, I’d be
breathing a whole lot easier.
After we were safely back at the Queen’s bungalow, and Trey’s hands had been seen to—they weren’t badly cut after al—I
offered drinks, sure that Trey and Bily were as thirsty as I was.
“Sounds marvelous—here, let me help,” Bily said, squirming. Trey had kept “Mina” snuggled up against his naked torso since
we’d dropped the bikes off, even as I’d put bandages on his fingers, and Bily apparently wasn’t thriled with the situation.
Trey, proving to be as nice as Mina claimed, said, “No, babe. You sit. I’l help Edith.”
Bily parked himself on the sofa, fine with waiting as long as it didn’t involve Trey’s flesh pressed against his. Trey folowed me
to the kitchen, where I set him to the task of getting the glasses while I checked the refrigerator to see what Edith had handy. A lot
of beer, a few soft drinks, and a pitcher of lemonade. Thinking it to be in character, I chose the lemonade, and almost dropped it
when I felt Trey’s manly body pressing up close behind me. I jumped. Trey didn’t have a thing for old ladies, did he?
“Easy there. It’s me,” he said, voice low.
Huh? “Er, yes?”
“Bily, cut it out,” Trey said. “We don’t have much time before I have to get back out there to Ciel.”
I stiffened. Trey knew Mina wasn’t Mina? And that Edith was supposed to be Bily? How did Trey know Bily? I turned slowly
and looked up—far up—into his eyes. “Um, yes. Ciel,” I said, frankly at a loss.
“What’s the matter with you? I asked you to keep an eye on Ciel and next thing I know, her bungalow blows up.”
Mark! Trey was Mark.
“The bungalow was hardly my fault,” I said, mind racing. “Hey, where is Trey, anyway? Is he al right?”
“Same place he’s been al week—on assignment. I would’ve filed you in earlier, but Trey thought he’d be back in time for this
trip. Unfortunately for al of us, he got held up. Didn’t want to explain his moonlighting to Mina, so I’m filing in.”
“But that’s not Mina,” I pointed out.
“I couldn’t exactly tel Trey it wouldn’t be Mina with him on vacation, could I?”
“Right. I, uh, know that,” I said, stil trying to wrap my mind around Trey working for the CIA. “I just wondered if Trey was
stil, you know, healthy.”
“Yeah, as far as I know. He’s puling out for good after this job, going legit. Wants to start a family with Mina, the whole nine
yards.”
“And he couldn’t just wait and propose for himself?” I couldn’t resist asking. Geez. Men.
“Mina was expecting it this week. He didn’t want to disappoint her.”
Ha. Shows how much he knew. Mina wouldn’t have hired me if she’d been expecting it. “Wel, shouldn’t we tel Ciel what’s
going on now?”
“Are you crazy? She’d blow up if she knew we’ve been keeping tabs on her, even if it is for her own good. And she’d never
believe I’m just doing a favor for Trey.”
You got that right, I thought. And I can damn well take care of myself. The main reason I started my own business was to
get out from under the overprotective thumb of my family. And now I find out Mark is in on it?
“Yes, but do you realy think it’s wise to keep something like this from her?” I elbowed him out of my way and set the pitcher
on the counter. Trey’s six-pack deflected my jab with barely a flinch. Stupid muscles. “Sorry. I slipped.”
“If she finds out it’l be that much harder to keep an eye on her in the future. Don’t worry—it’l be fine. Ciel never needs to
know.”
Oh yeah? Well, I’ve got news for you, buster …
Mina’s voice interrupted us from the living room. “Hey you two, do you need any help? You putting the moves on my man,
Edith?”
I tittered as loudly as I could manage. “Oh my, no,” I caled back. “Just borrowing a little of his strength to carry the drinks for
me. You keep your seat—we’re on our way.”
Mark leaned down close to my ear. “Listen, you have to fil in as Trey for me later. I don’t think Ciel wil let him get away from
her again, and I need you to keep her occupied while I finish dealing with the Swede. Take her for ice cream or something.”
“Ice cream?” I pushed a smile across my teeth. So, now he was trying to treat me like some kid and keep me out of the grown-ups’ business?
“Yeah, or something like that. You know what to do. Be affectionate. Be cuddly, like Trey would. She’l expect that. Anything
short of sleeping with her—if Ciel ever found out that wasn’t the real Trey, she’d kil us both. So improvise.”
Oh, I’d show him improvise. I gestured for him to carry the tray of drinks. Once his back was turned I gave him another
gesture. Yeah, I know. Childish. Ironic, huh?
I knew I should let them both in on the little farce we unwittingly had going. But the more I thought about it, the more pissed off
I got. They could just stew in it for a while, as far as I was concerned. The kidnapper wasn’t going anywhere for a while; I had
some time. Mark thought Mina was me, and Bily had no way of knowing Trey wasn’t the real Trey. They didn’t dare reveal
themselves to each other.
“Trey” put the drinks on the coffee table and sat down next to “Mina.” He laid his arm over Mina’s shoulders, making Bily
squirm. Interesting. Just how far would Mark take this charade if he didn’t get the opportunity to switch places? Would he folow
through with it al the way to the bedroom? The panicked look in Mina’s eyes told me Bily certainly thought so. Interesting. Bet I
could make Mark squirm, too, if he thought he had to, say, pretend Trey was impotent just to avoid sleeping with me. He
wouldn’t relish explaining to his friend why he’d had to give him a sudden case of performance anxiety, would he? Because,
thinking I’d be giving a ful report to the real Mina, Mark would have to explain not rising to Mina’s expectations. So to speak.
Mina stood as Trey was about to pul her closer. “Excuse me. I have to use the restroom. Edith, could you show me where the
spare soap is?”
“It’s on the vanity.”
“I already used that up.”
“There’s more under the sink.” I relaxed back into my club chair and put my feet up on the ottoman.
“Sily me. I looked there earlier and didn’t see it. Could you show me? Please?”
I sighed and got up. Bily made a beeline for the guest bathroom and was tapping his foot impatiently when I got there. He
puled me in and shut the door behind us.
“We have to switch back. Now.”
“We can’t—we don’t have time to trade clothes. Trey wil get suspicious if I don’t go right back out. Besides, you’re just as
good at Mina as I am. You can keep her.”
“No!”
“Why not?”
“Because Trey misses Mina.” He looked at me meaningfuly. “A lot.”
I played dumb. “Yeah. So?”
“Cuz, I wil do a lot in order to look out for you without risking your cover, but I wil not sleep with Trey.”
“But you expect me to?”
“Hel’s bels, Ciel, you want to!”
“That was before I found the ring. Now it goes against my professional ethics. You, on the other hand, have no ethics, so it
shouldn’t bother you.”
“I draw the line at sleeping with other men.”
“I have to get back out there to Trey. He’l wonder what’s taking so long.”
“Ciel, by God, if you don’t make an opportunity to switch places with me before bedtime, I’l … I’l…”
“What? Pul my hair?” I smiled sweetly and left.
Chapter 5
My plan was simple: payback. Watching the two of them dance around each other, both trying to get me off by myself to make a
switch, would be balm to my wounded pride. I might even let them spend the whole night together. It would serve them right.
Who cared if the kidnapper had to spend more time tied up in the dusty old warehouse? He’d been planning to leave me there, so
it served him right. I hoped the spiders were crawling al over his sorry kidnapper ass.
Bily’s behavior I could almost understand. Our sparring went back to childhood, and neither of us would miss an opportunity
to jab the other. He was a merciless tease, but I knew he cared for me underneath it al. Just on general principle, though, I
couldn’t pass up a chance to cause him a little discomfort.
But Mark. I couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to deceive me. Oh, not how easy in the capability sense. Any competent
adaptor could pul it off. Easy in the not-a-twinge-of-conscience sense. That ticked me off.
After the lemonade was served, Mina immediately became concerned with Trey’s wardrobe, or lack thereof. “We have to find
you something to wear, pumpkin. Edith was kind enough to take me shopping—maybe she and I should go out and get you a few
things, too.” Behind Mina’s eyes, I could see Bily grasping for a way to separate himself from Trey’s bare skin.
Mark jumped at the idea, at least partialy. “That would be great, babe, but don’t you think Edith has done enough for us
already? Maybe you could run out and get me something while I keep her company here.” He looked at me pointedly. Getting a
little anxious to make the switch, was he? Fat chance.
“The stores are al closed by now,” I said pleasantly. “But not to worry. You lovebirds are welcome to my spare room tonight.
Tomorrow you can go shopping together.” Twin glares met my perfectly reasonable suggestion. You just can’t please some
people, I thought with inner glee.
Ignoring the visual arrows, I moved the conversation forward, as any good hostess wil. “I must say, Trey, we were al so
relieved when Mina told us you were out at the time of the explosion. But, Mina, you must have been horrified when you found
out he was kidnapped.”
Bily caught on. “Wel, yes, of course I was—you know I was. I was terrified someone would hurt my pumpkin.” He looked at
Trey, letting tears fil Mina’s eyes. However annoying Bily c
ould be, at least you could trust him to remain in character on the job.
Mark narrowed Trey’s ocean-blue eyes at me, telegraphing mayhem at the Bily he thought I was, and puled Mina closer to his
naked chest. “I’m sorry about that, babe, but I’l make it up to you.” He leaned over and whispered into Mina’s ear. I didn’t
catch what he said, but judging from the way Bily jumped up when he was done, it hadn’t been wel received.
“Are you quite al right, Mina? You’ve gone pale.” And I was loving every chalky bit of it. If I could make Mark equaly
uncomfortable, I’d be a happy old woman. How dare he try to foist the job of not sleeping with me onto Bily? If he didn’t want
to sleep with me, he could darn wel not sleep with me himself.
“I’m fine. Except … this is a little embarrassing to say, but I think I just started my, um, monthly. Since al my stuff blew up, I
don’t have any, uh, you-know-whats. You wouldn’t happen to have any on hand, would you, Edith?”
Slick. Bily always could think on his feet. I pretended to be flustered at the forthrightness of the question. “Oh, my. I don’t
know. I mean, I don’t … for myself it’s no longer … wel. Perhaps there’s something in the cabinet under the sink?”
“Let’s go look, shal we?” Bily took me by the arm, none too gently, and led me back to the guest bathroom.
“We have to stop meeting like this.” I batted my eighty-odd-year-old eyelashes at him.
“You. Clothes off. Now.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“We are switching right this minute, or I swear I’l spil the beans to Trey. Screw your business.”
“What on earth did he whisper to you?”
“He told me he bought some special supplies at the resort shop when he went back for his walet earlier.”
“So?”
“The ‘special supplies’ are condoms. Fruit-flavored. Mina’s favorite.” A shudder went through him.
“F-F-Fruit? Oh, my gawd!” True, they were Mina’s favorite, but how did Mark know? Unless Trey told him. Guys do talk.
And Mark was probably trying to pay Bily back for giving him trouble, not knowing it was realy me. What better way than to
have Mina entice Bily’s Trey persona with the condoms later, when Bily was under orders not to folow through? Hee! This was