by JA Andrews
I watch my father leave the room, and as he does so, I speak to my mother alone.
‘This doesn’t feel right,’ I say. ‘Mum, I have a gut feeling something is not right.’
My mother hugs me.
‘Give them another call and see what’s happening,’ she replies. ‘Have they not even sent you a text or anything yet?’
I try the number for Donna again and it goes straight to voicemail.
‘It’s me again. Letting you know that Michael is here, the hearse has arrived. We’re waiting for you now. Is everything ok?’
I leave a message and hang up. I take a deep breath but I am nervous and confused. They would have replied to me by now. Donna knows that I need to know my son is safe. I’m starting to panic.
The front door opens with my father and Gary, who looks out of breath but nervous.
Something’s happened.
‘Is Daniel with you?’ I ask, looking directly at Gary. ‘Is everything ok. I tried calling but it went to voicemail. Are Donna and Peter in the limousine?’
I see the expression on my father’s face with his eyes lowering to the floor. Gary doesn’t instantly reply. I shake my head.
‘No, no,’ I say, ‘Daniel. Where is he?’
Gary walks closer towards me as I imagine the worst. In my mind, he’s dead and they’ve all been involved in a car accident: another tragedy where in some strange coincidence, I lose the rest of my family. I knew he should have stayed with me. I was stupid to let him go. I trusted them.
‘I don’t know where they are,’ Gary replies. I look at his suit and I can smell the scent of Michael’s favourite aftershave, ‘I turned up at the house but there was no answer. I knocked and knocked. I even looked through the windows but it’s deadly quiet. It’s like they’ve just vanished.’
‘Before you think the worst,’ my father interrupts, ‘I explained after introducing myself to Gary that maybe they have forgotten and made their own way here, or even to the crematorium.’
‘They would have messaged me!’ I shout. ‘Donna would not put me through this worry or stress. She would have said something or even texted me.’
They’ve kidnapped my son.
‘I think they’ve run off with Daniel,’ I tell my mother. ‘I know it sounds stupid, but Donna has been taking him to school all the time, helping me out with money issues, telling me what’s best for him – she even wanted me to hand him over to her for a few weeks. I’m telling you; she wants my son. She’s taken him.’
I could see clearly on my parents’ faces that they thought it was absurd. The only one who listens to me is Gary. Nobody is taking this very seriously.
‘I would have replied to your voicemail and text but I didn’t want to worry you,’ Gary says. ‘I needed to look around first and then thought best that I explain it face to face.’
‘Surely they wouldn’t steal their own grandson,’ my mother interrupts. ‘I bet there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, you wait and see.’
‘I told you, didn’t I, Gary, that they wanted him? I’ve been saying it for days now,’ I blurt out, looking at Gary, who I am sure is wearing one of Michael’s suits. ‘Is that Michael’s?’
‘Is what Michael’s?’ Gary asks. ‘The suit?’
I open my mouth and don’t have the chance to question it further.
‘I didn’t realise that I didn’t fit into mine anymore,’ Gary continues. ‘I’ve lost so much weight, and I still had some of the charity shop bags in the back of the van. I saw this one but I didn’t think anyone would notice. I’m sorry, maybe I should have asked.’
‘I recognise the stripes and the little marking above the left trouser pocket,’ I explain. ‘I bought Michael that suit for his birthday two years ago. This is too weird. I guess I was giving it away anyway, I just didn’t expect to see it again.’
Then a thought hits me. A light bulb moment.
‘Did you see their car, it’s a small grey one?’ I ask Gary. ‘Usually parked right opposite the living room window if it wasn’t on the drive?’
Gary frowns and shakes his head, giving me the answer that I needed to inflict more fear in me. My mind now is focused on finding Daniel, yet my husband is outside waiting for us to follow him to the crematorium. What am I going to do?
‘I don’t remember, I wasn’t really looking,’ Gary replies. ‘I expected them to be ready to all sit in the back of the black Mercedes I managed to loan off an old mate. I have to take it back after the service and pick up the van.’
I look at my father. I don’t know what else to do.
‘I can’t go to the service without Daniel,’ I say to my father. ‘I need to know he is safe. I need to know where he is.’
‘They’re pushed for time, love,’ he replies. ‘I said earlier we would give it half an hour or more but they’ve got other services booked in after Michael’s.’
Shit. I have to think on my feet.
‘Mum, Dad,’ I say, ‘you go inside the limo and follow the hearse to the crematorium. Gary, can you take me back to Donna and Peter’s? I need to see for myself if the car has gone and then, if I find them, we rush back to the service. I have to know where my son is. Maybe I should call the police.’
‘It’s a bit too soon for the police, don’t you think?’ Gary interrupts and starts to walk forward. ‘Try them again on the phone, and if they still don’t answer then yes, I can take you back there. Are you sure you don’t want to get in the limo, and I go back on my own?’
‘No,’ I reply, ‘I want to go. Daniel could be missing for all I know. He’s more important right now. I need to know what’s going on.’
I try calling Donna one more time but there’s still no answer. We all walk outside to the hearse and my father has a quiet word with the driver to inform him of what’s happening and my need to find Daniel.
As I stand beside my husband’s coffin, I look at it, knowing that he is inside there. I think the first few minutes realising that he was here upset me more but now I can’t concentrate on anything except Daniel. Michael will have to wait. He would have understood that. Our son has to come first.
‘Can you open the back door?’ I ask the hearse driver. ‘I want to say something. I want to feel the coffin.’
The driver nods, walks over to the door and unlocks it with his key. I stand behind him, peering inside. The smell of the wood hits me, then followed by the flowers. I place one hand on the coffin to feel symbolically connected. I know he can’t hear me but for my peace of mind I still have to say a few words.
‘I love you so much, Michael. You’ll always be my husband, always be Daniel’s father and I’ll always remember you,’ I whisper to him. I close my eyes. ‘We had so many happy times together.’
‘Do you need me to come with you?’ my mother asks. ‘Maybe your father and I could go instead so you can be with Michael?’
I see Gary turn and stop; he barely knows them. I won’t settle until I’ve found my son myself.
‘No, I’ll be fine,’ I reply. ‘I’d rather you got inside the limo. Gary and me will try to find out what’s going on.’
I turn around and walk away in the direction of Gary. Thinking about it calmly, I think Gary is right. It’s too soon for the police. I watch my mother and father step inside the limousine after giving them a hug.
I have to find Daniel.
Thirty-One
Gary
We are away from her family and in the confines of my car for the first time. I am putting pressure on myself, reminding myself that my demons are at work. Jenny doesn’t realise how I feel about her, she’s never had any idea all this time, but that doesn’t distract me. I am focused and she needs me, even if she can’t see it yet.
I gave Jenny the flowers I stole from the scene of Michael’s death. Handing them to her while she had no clue where they had been was satisfying. I manipulated our friendship and gained her trust by wearing Michael’s aftershave which I stole from her bathroom. I wanted to clin
g to her good nature, have her want to know more about me. I hooked her with some lies and I thought we were going to be friends but I don’t think she cares enough about me. All those times I kept staring at my phone, looking for replies, amounted to nothing but disappointment. I realised she wasn’t interested in me at all.
I can feel that Jenny is tense. From the corner of my eyes, as I continue to drive down the road, I can see her fixated on her mobile phone. The atmosphere in the car is undeniably upsetting for her: potentially missing her husband’s funeral service while their young boy is nowhere to be seen. Naturally, she has to find Daniel first, any mother would do that, but the not knowing what has happened to him must be driving her insane. I know how that feels too. I remember the days when I had no idea where my wife was, no idea that she was fucking another man behind my back. I also was robbed of a life and deprived of a future. We’re not all that dissimilar.
‘I told you she wanted my son, didn’t I?’ Jenny asks, holding onto the phone. ‘No answer. I’ve tried calling and texting her, she’s not responding. Something’s happened, hasn’t it? Something’s not right. They wouldn’t miss their own son’s funeral. I should call the police, or Sharon?’
‘No,’ I snap. Shit, it was too forceful. ‘They’re not going to take it seriously. Daniel is with his grandparents, he’s not officially missing. All the police will do is ask a load of questions and take up a lot of time when we could be looking ourselves. Trust me.’
I can see she’s come round to my way of thinking. Jenny does at least trust me now.
‘Your parents will call you if they turn up at the crematorium, won’t they?’ I respond, still keeping my concentration on the road. ‘Grief does some funny things to people. If they did take him, do you have any idea where they would go?’
I try to keep her talking, distract her.
‘The lodge,’ Jenny says, holding her hand to her head with the stress. ‘It’s down in Looe, on a park in the middle of nowhere. They might have taken him down there and got stuck in traffic. It still doesn’t explain why they aren’t answering their phone or why they didn’t tell me. Donna is a stubborn bitch at times. Just like Michael was.’
‘It’s only about forty-five minutes away across the bridge,’ I reply. ‘I know you get traffic build-up at the weekend. Yeah, they could be stuck in traffic, sounds logical.’
‘I should call Sharon and see if there’s anything she can do,’ Jenny says, still clutching on to the phone for dear life, staring relentlessly at the screen. ‘Report that my son might be missing with Donna and Peter.’
‘No,’ I say loudly and firmly. ‘Trust me on this. Didn’t you say that you didn’t trust Sharon anyway? Why would you waste your time with her, she can’t help you right now, but I can.’
Jenny places the phone inside her pocket and turns to look at me. I glance briefly at her face. She looks tearful. Her mind must be in overdrive but we’re almost at Michael’s parents’ house.
‘They won’t even be interested until they’ve been missing twenty-four hours or more, think about it,’ I explain. ‘You gave Daniel to his own grandparents who love him dearly. It’s been less than a day and although they’re not answering their phone it doesn’t mean the worst has happened. At least wait and see if they turn up at the service. Their heads could be all over the place, or likely they’re stuck in traffic. Give it a bit more time.’
Jenny nods. She listens to me when I make a firm decision. It must have been how Michael manipulated her.
‘Here we are,’ I say, pulling up on the driveway, ‘this is the right address that you texted me the other day, isn’t it?’
‘There’s no car,’ Jenny says, her mouth is open in surprise. ‘They aren’t here. They’ve got Daniel and they’ve taken him from me. I know they have. I knew all this time she was acting too much in control. It’s my fault for letting her take him to school. I’ve let her take over.’
I watch her pain, the suffering in her mind, and it excites me. This is how we connected when I thought we could first be friends. This pain and mental torture is what we share as something in common. We are both victims.
‘It’s not my place to tell you to calm down, but I think if you did, you might start thinking more clearly,’ I reply, trying to calm her nerves. ‘You said they might have gone to the lodge. We need more proof. Do you have a key or any neighbours to contact? Maybe we should see what the neighbours saw or heard – if anything.’
‘I’ll knock on the door again anyway,’ Jenny replies. ‘Donna isn’t the type to mix with neighbours. She’s usually too busy with her shop.’
We both get out of the Mercedes. My hands feel cold. Jenny walks to the front door and I keep thinking of ways to distract her from contacting the police.
‘There’s no answer,’ Jenny says, now looking through the letterbox. ‘Donna, Peter, Daniel, are you in there?’
I stand beside her and wait.
‘I’ll give Donna another call,’ Jenny says, looking up her contacts list on her mobile while still lifting up the letterbox. ‘Answer your bloody phone, will you!’
We both hear the ringing sound from the other direction. Jenny runs towards the living room window and starts banging on it loudly.
‘Did you hear that too?’ Jenny asks, her panic mode in full throttle. ‘It’s Donna’s phone, she’s in there. Maybe she’s had an accident.’
‘Maybe she forgot to take her phone with her?’ I reply. ‘They couldn’t have both had an accident. What about Peter?’
‘That makes sense. My nerves are making me overreact. I just want to know that my son is safe. I’ll call Peter.’
I don’t know what else to say. I need to lead the conversation or keep her talking more. I watch her as she looks lost and out of control. I see the panic across her face and can tell she is on edge. I have to think of something and fast.
‘Shall I take you back to the service, or you’ll miss it?’ I ask. ‘Maybe they’ve turned up there?’
‘There’s no answer from Peter either, but I’ll call my mother,’ Jenny responds. ‘She would have called me if they had.’
For barely a minute, Jenny talks to her mother who confirms no sight of Donna, Peter or Daniel.
‘I’m going to try the back door,’ Jenny says, walking away from the window to the garden gate. ‘They might have left it unlocked.’
Jenny leans over and pulls up the catch to the gate, then we squeeze in beside the recycling bins that lead to a perfectly mown lawn. Plant pots and flowers are tucked in every corner, with a set of chairs and a table on the patio. You can tell by the garden that whoever lived here was a perfectionist.
‘It’s locked,’ Jenny says, pulling at the handle. ‘I have to call someone. I need to call the police. Enough is enough, no time for games now.’
I wish Jenny would trust me when I say they wouldn’t be interested. Her son is with two people that she handed him over to. The police will not be interested in this yet. She’ll have to discuss it over the phone or down at the station for hours.
‘Maybe they’re at the lodge, just like you suspected. Donna probably left her phone behind,’ I reply, watching helplessly. ‘I’ve got Sharon’s number, so I will call her as a heads up if you like. If we don’t find them in the next hour or so, then we can report it officially.’
I see Jenny roll her eyes upwards; she’s thinking about something.
‘I’m going to break in,’ Jenny says. ‘I have to know they’re safe. There are a few rocks over there, I’ll smash the back-door window and that should allow us both to get inside.’
I walk towards the corner of the garden where the rocks are scattered among the small bushes. I pick one up and hand it to Jenny. It’s her decision, not mine. I hold my phone to my ear after I watch her walk towards the door.
‘Hi Sharon, it’s Gary. Gary Taylor. I’m with Jenny Clifton at Michael’s parents’ house. They haven’t arrived for the funeral service and Daniel is with them. Jenny thinks they are missin
g, or might have taken him somewhere.’
Jenny is looking through the window, shouting out their names.
‘Ah ok. Yeah, I already explained that,’ I continue. ‘We will, thank you.’
‘Exactly what I said,’ I inform Jenny. ‘Sharon will log it, but if we don’t find anything in the next hour the police will put out a search for a vehicle check.’
‘But they could be anywhere by then,’ Jenny replies. ‘Is she on her way?’
‘No,’ I answer. ‘Like I said all along, there’s not enough time passed yet. We are better off looking ourselves. They’re only going to be here, the lodge or on their way to the service, aren’t they? Peter can’t use his mobile phone while driving and Donna left her phone in the house. We might be overreacting.’
Jenny doesn’t hesitate and smashes the back-door window, unlocks the back-door catch, and the door is open within seconds. She rushes inside and I follow behind her. Jenny shouts for Daniel, then Donna, then Peter. Nothing but silence follows – the house is empty.
‘What shall we do now?’ I ask, looking at Jenny as we stand inside the hallway. ‘There’s no answer, no one around?’
‘Daniel had his suitcase,’ she responds. ‘I packed him to be all ready for his weekend away with them. Wait here while I look around a sec.’
I stand in the hallway, staring at the front door. I can’t take my eyes off it, nor the plush carpet. Then I turn to face the kitchen. Jenny has reappeared, looking flushed and breathing heavily.
‘They’ve gone, their clothes are out all over the bed, but their cases aren’t here. They usually keep them on top of the wardrobe. They’ve gone. There’s nothing of Daniel’s here either. With the car not being on the drive, and the clothes and cases, it looks like they might have gone to Looe.’
‘Ah, that’s not far from here,’ I reply. ‘And the lack of communication is down to the phone being left behind. Maybe she didn’t want you to call her?’
I’ve dropped a bombshell. I’m interested to see her reaction towards Donna’s potential game plan.