by Ami Weaver
He walked up behind her, not too close, but enough to catch the scent of lavender off her hair. “Smells wonderful in here.” God help him, he didn’t mean just the food.
She tossed him a quick grin and scooted around him to the stand mixer. “Thanks. It’s nothing fancy.”
He headed to the powder room off the kitchen to wash up and get his unwelcome emotions back under control. Cram them back into the little box he imagined held all the things he didn’t want to deal with.
Lately, the damned lid wouldn’t stay closed.
When he reentered the kitchen, Cody was seated at the table. The little boy brightened and slid off his chair when he saw Josh. “Daddy!”
“Hey, big guy.” Josh bent and pulled his son to him. The boy’s skinny arms went around his neck and squeezed. Josh closed his eyes. He made the choices he did for Cody. It’d serve him well to remember that. “When we sit down, you can tell me all about your day, okay?”
Maggie set a plate at Cody’s spot. “You’re all set, Cody. I’ll bring you some milk in a second. Josh, I’ll get your plate now.” She turned to go back into the kitchen.
He couldn’t let her do that. He caught her wrist, felt the warmth of her skin through the fabric of her navy turtleneck. God, her bones were small. His fingers circled her wrist. She looked up at him, surprise on her face. “I’ll get my own,” he said, his voice a little rough in his throat.
“Um, well. Okay. I don’t mind, though.” She glanced down at her arm, still in his hand. He let go quickly, aware he’d held on to her a little too long.
Damn.
He filled a plate and sat down across from Cody, Maggie at his right. Not close enough to touch, but near enough that he was very aware of her presence. As he picked up his fork, one more thought in the guilt brigade hit him.
More often than not, he and Lucy hadn’t eaten together. Other than holidays, he couldn’t think of a single meal they’d shared with Cody that first year. He’d been too busy, or she’d been too angry. His appetite vanished.
“Josh? Is something wrong with the food?” Maggie’s voice cut into his pity party. He looked up to see the concern on her face. He immediately felt bad. It wasn’t fair to her for him to vanish down the mine-filled road of his past. He shook his head.
“No. Not at all. It smells amazing.” He took a bite. Tasted that way, too. “So, Cody, what did you do today?”
Cody filled Josh in on his day. It seemed to him Maggie and his son had done all right. It took the little boy a while to warm up to people, but once he did he was a completely different child. Josh had a feeling Maggie would be seeing that kid soon.
“C’n I be ‘scused?” Cody asked.
“Sure,” Josh said. “Take your plate into the kitchen first. Be very careful.”
“I will,” Cody promised. Josh hid a grin as his son walked slowly around the table, his concentration on the plate and the utensils on it. A few seconds later he heard the clatter of the plate going in the sink. Maggie’s eyes widened.
“I did it, Daddy!” Cody called. “C’n I go play now?”
Josh grinned at Maggie, who smiled back. “Yep.”
“Yes!” And Cody was gone, all pumping legs and thumping stairs.
“We’ve got the clear-the-table part down pretty good,” Josh said as he rose from his chair. “It’s the delivery to the sink that we need to work on.”
Maggie laughed. The clear, light sound floated over him, an unexpected balm to his frazzled emotions. “So I see.” She pushed her chair back. “I’ll take care of this.”
He went to lay a hand on her arm, changed his mind. Better not to touch her. “I’ll clean it up, Maggie,” he said, but she shook her head. “Then let me help,” he insisted as he gathered up dishes. “It’s the least I can do. You rinse, I load.”
She worried her lower lip for a second, then he saw her cave. “All right. Thank you. As long as you know it’s not necessary.”
“No thanks needed. It’s the least I can do,” he repeated.
In the kitchen, he rolled up his shirtsleeves and held out his hand for the first item. She handed him a plate.
“Cody seemed to have a good day,” he said.
She nodded as she scraped the next dish. “Oh, he did. He’s not too sure of me yet, but he’s very sweet and wants to please. We’ll get there. I’m not worried.”
Josh slid a bowl into place. Something in her tone said she thought otherwise. “He can be shy. He’ll come around.”
“Of course he will. We didn’t go out much today because I was trying to give him a little space. You know, to get used to me being in Mrs. Herman’s place.”
Worry zinged through him. “Was there something you needed that you couldn’t get? You could have called me.”
Her head came up, surprise in her blue eyes. Their color was nearly the same as Cody’s. “Oh, no, Josh. We were fine. And your mom checked in on us, too, just in case. I won’t bother you at work unless it’s an emergency. I know how busy you are.”
A bit of the scene with Julie flashed through his mind, only this time Maggie sat on the exam table in a short skirt and a come-hither look. His groin tightened at the possibilities.
For that, he’d have locked the door.
“Josh?” Amusement in her voice sliced across his fantasy, and he cleared his throat.
“I am busy. Most days are pretty crazy. But not so much so that if you guys are stuck somehow you can’t call me.” Why was it so important that she know she could get him if she needed him? Because Lucy had complained so often that he was constantly unavailable when she needed something?
Because he wanted Maggie to think better of him than his wife ever had?
Maggie held out the last pan. “Don’t worry, Josh. If I need you, I’ll call.” Her words and their double meaning hung in the air as her fingers touched his when he took the pan. Heat arced between them with the intensity of a live wire. His gaze caught hers for a heartbeat, before alarm sprang into her eyes. She quickly backed up, grabbed a washcloth and started swabbing the counter. He concentrated on fitting the last pan into place and closed the dishwasher, wondering how to break the suddenly awkward silence. What the hell was going on with him?
Maggie rinsed and folded the cloth, then draped it on the faucet. Not looking at him, she said, “If you don’t need anything, I think I’ll head upstairs. Do you need me to put Cody to bed?”
Josh shook his head. “As long as I don’t get called, I’ll do it.”
She nodded. “Okay, then. Good night.”
She turned and moved toward the stairs, her back perfectly straight. He doubted she’d take it too kindly if he swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs.
Tonight, anyway.
* * *
Shoving Josh and the kitchen weirdness out of her mind, Maggie paused in Cody’s doorway. He didn’t see her. With his back to her and his attention on his Matchbox cars, she figured she could drive a train through there and he wouldn’t notice.
“Cody.” He whipped his head around so hard his curls lifted and settled. “What are you playing?”
He poked at a fire truck. Paused for a moment. “Fireman.”
“Ahhh.” She leaned on the door frame. “Do you want to be a fireman someday?”
Cody shrugged, then nodded.
“That’s good. Firemen help people.”
“An’ they drive big trucks,” Cody observed, lifting one and studying it with one eye open.
Maggie hid a smile. Trust a kid to get to the heart of the matter. “That they do.”
He returned to playing with his toys and she watched for a minute. The conversation was clearly over, but she loved the fact they’d actually had one. She slipped out of the room and into her own across the hall.
She closed the door and let her head fall against it with a soft thunk.
Holy cow. She’d had her first day as a nanny. As Cody’s nanny.
While he wasn’t too sure of her yet, she had to believe th
ey’d get there. Josh seemed to think the little boy would come around soon enough.
Josh. A little shiver ran down up her spine. She needed to watch herself around him, make sure she hid the attraction she felt. Maybe it was just the fact he was a nice guy and loved his son—so different from her ex.
That was it. It had to be.
It couldn’t be anything more.
Chapter Three
To distract herself, Maggie grabbed her cell off the nightstand, plopped in one of the chairs and dialed her best friend’s number.
“Maggie!” Kerry didn’t even bother with hello. “How did it go?”
Maggie filled her friend in on her day. “He needs to warm up to me still. He misses his old nanny a lot,” she finished.
“Of course he does,” Kerry agreed. “Poor little guy. He’s been through so much.”
“I know. It will take some time but he’ll adjust,” Maggie said, echoing what she’d told Josh earlier in the day. “Josh said he’s a little shy.”
Something in her tone gave her away. “Really,” Kerry said, drawing out the word. “Josh, huh? Tell me about him.”
Maggie mentally kicked herself for even getting into this. She stood up, walked to the sliding doors, her gaze on the pine trees in the backyard. The faint scent of burning leaves lingered on the breeze as she slid the door open. “There’s not much to tell. As far as I can tell, he works hard and he adores his son.”
“Sounds perfect,” Kerry teased. “Is he hot?”
“Kerry! He’s my boss.” She kept her voice low, even though Josh wasn’t likely to overhear.
Her friend sighed, all signs of teasing gone. “I know. I’m sorry. That didn’t go so well for you last time.”
“You could say that,” she murmured, thinking of the baby that wasn’t hers. “But I’d never get involved with him,” she added. “It’d be way too weird and anyway, I’m here for Cody.”
“So he is attractive,” Kerry said.
An understatement, that. Maggie’s fingers still tingled where they’d touched his. She curled her hand tighter around the phone. “Well, yeah. In a generic kind of way. You know. Not personally. To me.” She rolled her eyes. She sounded a little too casual, even to her own ears.
Kerry paused and Maggie held her breath. “I see. Well, that’s good. You don’t want a repeat of Tony.”
She exhaled. “God knows that’s true. I’m here in a professional capacity, period. Cody is my focus.”
No matter how unexpectedly attractive his father was.
“Of course he is,” Kerry agreed. “Did you learn anything about Lucy?”
Kerry’s question caused Maggie’s conscience to give her jab. “No. Not yet. I don’t feel comfortable bringing her up yet.” It seemed like Josh should be the one to start that particular conversation. Maggie wasn’t sure she could bring up Lucy and not blurt out the truth. Soon, but not yet. She wanted to let everything settle first and be sure it wouldn’t be too hard on Josh and Cody to tell them who she was. It wasn’t ideal, but she couldn’t see another way to protect them.
“It’s early,” Kerry murmured. “I’m sure you’ll get the chance. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for a good guy. Not all men are like Tony.”
Maggie thought of Brian, her best friend’s husband. “Of course they’re not. You’ve got a good one.”
Kerry laughed. “Oh, yes, I do. I really do. And we’ll get you a good one, too. Trust me.”
Maggie made a little humming noise. “We’ll see. I’m sure not going to find him here. Holden’s Crossing seems pretty small. I’m guessing the good ones are taken already. But I’m not in the market anyway.” After her marriage, it seemed prudent to avoid all things commitment-related.
“Maybe, maybe not. Don’t let Tony win,” Kerry ordered. “Make sure it’s because it’s what you want. If you give up on all this, on ever being happy or a family of your own, you’ve let him win. He doesn’t get to ruin your life.”
Again. The unspoken word echoed in Maggie’s head. She swiped at her now-moist eyes. “You’re absolutely right. He doesn’t. I’ll keep my options open.”
They chatted a few more minutes, then hung up. Maggie snapped her phone shut as Cody caught her attention, racing into the backyard with his dad behind him. Cody held a soccer ball, which he dropped on the ground and kicked toward his dad. His little-boy laugh floated in through the door. Josh kicked the ball back, then looked up. He waved. Caught, she couldn’t exactly duck out of sight so she fluttered her fingers back.
“You play?” he called, and Maggie opened the door farther so she could step out on the balcony into the wood smoke-scented twilight. She crossed over to the railing and leaned on it, the wood cool through her sleeves.
“Not in years,” she said as Cody gave the ball a solid kick. “Not since college.”
“You can kick it around with us,” he offered, and Maggie’s chest squeezed at the invitation. “Right, Code?”
Cody darted a glance up at Maggie, then to his dad. He nodded and zeroed back in on the ball as it flew off Josh’s foot. She was tempted, but she shook her head. “No thanks,” she said to the top of Josh’s head. No topside bald spot for him. “Maybe another time.”
He executed some fancy footwork with the ball, indicating more than a passing relationship with the game of soccer. “Sounds good. We’ve got to go in soon, anyway. Almost bedtime for someone.”
Cody’s head came up. “It’s not dark yet,” he protested and Maggie smothered a laugh.
“Not yet,” Josh agreed. “But it will be soon. Five more minutes, big guy, and it’s time to hit the shower.”
Maggie turned from the railing and walked back inside. While she could watch the two of them interact for hours, it probably wasn’t a good idea. Keeping a distance was the best option.
Still, she left the door open to hear their voices and laughter, the thunk of the ball, as the sounds all drifted in on the chilly evening breeze.
* * *
Maggie spent the next two weeks doing an admirable job of ignoring the physical attraction she felt for Josh. Part of that had been keeping a bit of an emotional distance, developing a routine that worked for Cody but kept her out of incidental contact with Josh as much as possible. She kept her professionalism front and center.
Except for today.
Somehow she’d been roped into a family dinner.
Still not sure exactly how Ellen had gotten her to accept the invitation, Maggie stared out the window of Josh’s SUV. The trees clipped by as she replayed the conversation in her head.
Dinner, Ellen had said. Love to have you join us.
When Maggie opened her mouth to decline she found herself accepting instead. An apparent disconnect of common sense and her tongue.
So here she sat with Josh and Cody on the way to Ellen’s. The whole thing blurred lines she’d been so careful to keep clear.
“Gramma has a dog,” Cody announced into the silence. Josh had been very quiet. Thinking maybe of Lucy? She certainly was never far from Maggie’s thoughts.
She half turned in her seat, grateful for the interruption. “She does? What kind?”
“A big one,” Cody said, his gaze on the back of Josh’s head. “Right, Daddy?”
“That’s right,” Josh agreed. He slid a glance her way. “Friendly, though. In case you were wondering.”
“I like dogs,” she said. “What’s his name?”
“Riley,” Cody said.
“That’s a good name.” She thought wistfully of Bear, the dog she’d shared with Tony. Bear had stayed with him. One more thing she’d surrendered to be free of the marriage.
“Are you okay over there?”
She blinked and looked over at Josh. “I’m fine. I used to have a dog,” she blurted.
“Really?” Josh and Cody said in unison.
She was in it now. “Yes. His name is Bear.”
“Where is he?” Cody asked.
“Well.” Here goes. “He’s with my
, um, ex-husband.”
Cody’s eyes rounded and out of the corner of her eye Maggie saw Josh flex his hand on the steering wheel. A small ball of unease settled in her stomach. Had he known she was divorced? She’d told Ellen. She couldn’t remember if it’d come up otherwise.
“Don’t you miss him?”
She knew who Cody meant. “I miss Bear. I do.” She’d never really missed Tony, only what they never really had. In retrospect, it said so much about her marriage. “He’s a good dog, but an old one. We thought it was better for him to stay in his own familiar house.”
“Gramma will share Riley. Right, Daddy?”
“Of course.” Josh sent a quick smile her way.
Touched, Maggie smiled at each of them in turn. “Thank you. That’s so sweet.”
“You can meet him in a few.” Josh turned onto a gravel drive. “We’re here.”
They wound through the trees for a short distance before opening up to a large lawn and a low ranch house. A big dog of any number of breeds loped across the grass, barking and wagging his entire rear end.
“That’s Riley!” Cody cried as the SUV came to a stop. The little boy popped the seat belt on his car seat and jumped out the door to roll with the dog on the ground, the age-old greeting of little boys and big canines.
“Good thing it’s not wet out,” Josh commented as he and Maggie unbuckled.
“Would that stop him?” Maggie asked as she watched Riley lick Cody’s face.
Josh paused, then grinned over at his son. “Not likely,” he admitted. His keys slipped out of his hand and fell with a clank on the floor.
Since they landed on her side, Maggie leaned over and reached for them. Josh did the same and their heads bumped. She sat up. “Oh! Sorry.”
“My fault.” He leaned over and touched her forehead lightly. Her traitorous nerve endings gave a little zing. “You’ve got a bit of red mark here.”
For a heartbeat, their gazes locked and her pulse skipped, then kicked up as the teasing in his eyes melted to heat. Awareness sparked between them, a quick flare. She could smell the spicy soap he’d used, the detergent on his clothes. She curled her hand around her purse strap, as if it could keep her from leaning over just a little farther to see what he tasted like.