shaede assassin 05 - shadows at midnight

by amanda bonilla

  Merrick’s expression remained calm. He spoke to me as though I were a stubborn child who needed everything spelled out for her. Please. He hadn’t seen stubborn yet. Ty had explained it to me. Adira, Ty’s ex-lover and another genie with a penchant for rule-breaking had laid it out for me as well. That didn’t change the fact that we loved each other. “If you’ve heard all about me, then I’m sure you know I’m not exactly a follow-the-rules sort of girl.”

  He flashed a genuine smile that gave him a debonair edge. “I have. It might be one of your most winsome qualities.”

  Charming. I didn’t doubt that Merrick wasn’t honorable. Or even unlikable. In fact, I had a feeling that I could grow to like him very much. It didn’t mean I could trust him, though. Or that I didn’t think he couldn’t be ruthless when he needed to be. “I know a person or three who might disagree with you on that.”

  He laughed. Open and good natured. Merrick leaned back in his chair and studied me for a long moment. His expression turned from thoughtful to regretful in a beat and my heart leapt in my chest. “This has to end, Darian. If you care about Tyler as you claim you do, then you will end this relationship now. I can’t protect him if the two of you continue to defy the rules set forth by the Synod.”

  “There are always loopholes,” I replied. “Ways around every rule.”

  “No.” His gaze hardened and his lips turned down into a stern frown. “Tyler has broken too many rules over the course of this bonding to turn a blind eye. When it comes to you, he can’t be trusted to make wise decisions, it seems. He’s willing to risk everything for you. Jeopardize his own standing within the Jinn.”

  A flash of cold pulsed from my ring. I tucked my left hand between my legs, as though I could hide its presence from Merrick. If Adira had known what it was, I had to assume that Merrick would too. The subject of Nys’Asdar was off limits. The last person Tyler wanted to know about its existence—whatever it was—was Merrick.

  “I can’t help Tyler if he won’t first help himself,” Merrick said. “I can’t help you if you continue on this path. There are consequences for every action, Darian. Every decision made must be answered to.”

  He was preaching to the choir. I knew that all too well. Had been forced to face the consequences of my actions too many times to count. There were a lot of choices that I regretted. But loving Tyler wasn’t one of them. “I’m more than ready to face the music,” I said flatly. “Because Tyler and I have been through too much for either of us to walk away from what we have.”

  Merrick gave a sad shake of his head. “Stubborn.” His gaze softened. “Admirable, yet foolish.” He scooted his chair away from the table, our conversation apparently finished.

  “Wait.”

  Merrick stood and paused, his brow raised in question.

  “Where’s Tyler?” I’d tear the city down to find him if I had to, but I hoped that if Merrick cared for Tyler as he claimed to, that he’d be forthcoming.

  “I told you, Darian. Tyler has broken a great many rules in the course of his relationship with you. The Synod is not happy. I’ll do what I can to protect him but I ask that you consider my words. If you truly love him, do what’s best for the both of you and let him go.”

  Without another word, he turned and left.

  My heart leapt up into my throat. The black cloud of doom that had tossed me around in the alley had been sent by the Synod. I had no doubt about it. I didn’t have to understand the words spoken to recognize their cadence and sound. I’d heard Tyler speak in that ancient language enough to know it.

  “I wish Tyler was here with me right now.”

  I spoke the words just under my breath. Wishes were granted on a need-only basis. I wanted Tyler here to assuage my fears but I didn’t need his protection. His absence meant that either my wish didn’t need to be granted or he wasn’t able to grant it.

  Panic surged through me to the point that my head swam with the sudden rush of adrenaline. Scenarios flashed through my mind, one after another, of Tyler being beaten, tortured, or worse. What could be worse than torture? My imagination didn’t have to work hard to conjure up some pretty gruesome alternatives.

  I instantly regretted my flippant attitude with Merrick. The way I’d blatantly thrown his own laws in his face without an ounce of respect. I should have gotten down on my knees, begged him to do anything in his power to protect Tyler. I should have pled our case, been diplomatic instead of aggressive.

  Godfuckingdamnitsonofabitch.

  What had my show of defiance done?

  I pushed out my chair with enough force to knock it over. I spun a full circle, my brain too full of worrisome thoughts to find a single coherent thread. My pulse pounded in my ears, drowning out everything until my head ached from the sound. I had no idea what to do, where to start, how to find Tyler or make sure that he was safe. My ring pulsed on my thumb, each flash of cold like its own heartbeat against my skin. I couldn’t breathe. My arms and legs went numb and my stomach heaved. Darkness swallowed the periphery of my vision and my knees buckled.

  “Whoa,” Tyler’s voice broke through the pounding in my ears. “It’s okay, Darian. I’ve got you.”

  His strong arms encircled me and I melted against him. A sob rose in my chest but I swallowed it down as my heartbeat began to slow. I turned and threw my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. “Thank god.” My limbs shook and I couldn’t slow my breathing. “Jesus, Ty. I thought…”

  “We need to talk. Let’s go back to your place.”

  His dark tone sent a renewed wave of fear through me. I nodded my head, unable to speak and in a blink, we disappeared into thin air.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  I couldn’t stop the tremors that shook me.

  Every time Tyler tried to let go of me, I held him closer. As though my grip on him was the only thing keeping me anchored to reality. We stood in the middle of my studio, the silence deafening. He didn’t pull away again, just wrapped his arms tighter around me and waited until I had my shit together enough to let him step away.

  “Where were you?” I couldn’t push the words past a whisper.

  Ty guided me into the living room and eased me down on the couch. He settled down beside me and pulled me against him. “I was called before the Synod,” he replied.

  I brought my gaze up to meet his. “Without their leader being present?”

  Tyler’s eyes narrowed. “How did you know that?”

  “Merrick chatted me up at The Pit before you showed up.”

  He swore under his breath. “What did he say to you?”

  I let out a sigh. “He advised me that if we didn’t end our relationship, there wouldn’t be anything he could do to protect either of us from the consequences.”

  Ty responded with a derisive snort. “This has fuck all to do with our relationship and Merrick knows that.”

  “Then what does it have to do with, Ty? What happened tonight?”

  Tyler shrugged. “I was told that I’d blurred the lines between protector and charge. I was told to remember my place and my purpose. I was warned of the repercussions for my actions should I insist on violating rules that have been upheld over millennia.”

  My pulse jacked up as I thought of Merrick’s warnings. “What sort of repercussions.”

  Ty snorted. “Nothing that worries me.”

  “Tyler.”

  He blew out a gust of breath. “I was told that if I didn’t obey the rules, our bond would be severed by the Synod. That they’d wipe all trace of me from your memory.”

  “They can do that?” My mind reeled from the impact of Tyler’s words. The prospect of waking up one morning and not having any memory of Ty filled me with icy dread. Not having him in my life would open up a huge hole inside of me. It would be a fatal wound. A blow I’d never rebound from.

  “They could try.” The dark finality of his tone shivered over me. “But I’ve made sure they won’t be successful.”

  Not for the first time,
a ribbon of fear unfurled inside of me. But this time for an entirely different reason. A power that I didn’t understand—couldn’t possibly comprehend—resided inside of Tyler. Something that I suspected could be truly terrifying if unleashed.

  “Reaver says that the Jinn are gods.” Those hasn’t been his exact words, but when I’d asked the Sidhe and Guardian of the mundane realm about the Jinn, he’d given me enough information to let me know that they were a race of omnipotent beings. If that didn’t make them gods, I didn’t know what did. “Is that true, Tyler?” Honestly, I didn’t know if I really wanted the truth.

  His gaze burned through me, the intense hazel depths swallowing everything around us. Tyler lifted his hand, palm facing upward. A ripple of energy crawled over my skin as a small universe sprang to life and hovered above Ty’s upturned hand.

  Holy fucking shit.

  My fingertips stretched toward one of the tiny planets. A sizzle of static energy crept up my arm and I pulled away with a start. The illusion was so real I swore I could pluck the small globe out of orbit if I could only muster up the courage to reach out and take it.

  “Power has to be controlled,” Ty said almost absently. His attention focused on the miniature solar system he’d conjured in his palm. The glow of stars and planets illuminated the space between us with an otherworldly light. “Emotion is a volatile thing. The antithesis of control. My emotions will—and have—disrupted the grip I have on my power. The Synod feel as though they’ve been too lenient and they’ve chosen to intervene.”

  Tyler flicked his fingers and the dark sky, planets, and stars he’d conjured dissipated into a cloud of shimmering dust. “Merrick says you’ve broken too many rules.”

  He reached out and took my left hand in his. His thumb brushed over the cool metal of my ring. “I’ve already told you, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

  Why did those words fill me with dread rather than comfort me? “What if they decide to sever our bond?” What if I woke up one morning and he wasn’t there? Gone from my heart and my mind?

  “That won’t happen,” Tyler simply replied. A ripple of cold energy flared out from my ring. “They can’t do it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m no longer within the Synod’s ability to control.”

  “What does that mean, Ty?” I’d never seen him like this. So hard. So disconnected. It scared the shit out of me.

  “You don’t have to worry about Merrick,” he said, totally bypassing my question. “You don’t have to worry about the Synod at all.”

  I took a steadying breath. There was so much I didn’t know about Tyler. The impact of that realization knocked the air from my lungs. “Tyler.” He might have thought that we were beyond the Synod’s reach, but I wasn’t so sure. “Something attacked me tonight.”

  His head snapped up and his gaze searched mine. “What?”

  “I was walking to The Pit. It came out of nowhere.”

  “What was it?”

  Hell if I knew. “I was hoping you could tell me. It looked like a big black cloud with glowing red eyes.” Even as I described my mysterious assailant it seemed ridiculous. “It knocked me into the alley wall and said something to me but I don’t know what. It was like the words that you had me repeat when you brought me back from Goblin Valley.”

  Ty’s brows drew down sharply over his eyes and his jaw squared. “Darian, are you sure that’s what you saw?”

  “Um, yeah I’m sure. It’s pretty hard to mistake something like that don’t you think? What in the hell was it?”

  “A Délash,” Ty said. “Sentient power controlled by the Synod.”

  Jesus. Sentient power? There was no way to put a positive spin on it. The very notion was ominous.

  “You’ve been marked, Darian.”

  “Marked? For what?”

  Tyler leveled his gaze on me. “Could be anything. They could simply be watching you. Or maybe Merrick thinks to make good on his threats.”

  “You’re telling me that the Synod—a group made up of omnipotent beings—has hired a hit on me?”

  Honestly, I should have been surprised someone hadn’t taken out a contract on me sooner. As an assassin who only took out the bad guys, I drew a lot of heat. Though lately, most of my marks had been supernatural. Since the day Xander had appeared in my life, I’d put human matters on the backburner.

  “They won’t go that far. Not yet. Besides, they can’t touch you,” Ty responded with a little too much confidence. “Nothing can.”

  Wrong. So, so wrong. What in the hell had gotten into him? “Tyler.” My eyes practically bugged out of my head as his blind arrogance. “Not even a week ago a sadistic demon was cutting off strips of my flesh to eat for an afternoon snack!” Padma’s power was nothing compared to the Synod and she’d had no problem whatsoever in touching me.

  “They’re afraid,” he said more to himself than to me. “Merrick is afraid.”

  A fresh wave of fear burned a path up my throat. “Snap out of it, Ty and talk to me!” He was scaring me more than any black cloud of doom ever could.

  “It’s a power-play,” Ty said after a moment. “This is all about control. Millennia of carefully woven edict. I’ve followed their rules. Structured my existence by them. And what they’re so worked up over isn’t our relationship but the fact that I found a way to shake loose from the leash they had on me.”

  “And what do I do if I see this Délash again?” The damned thing wasn’t even corporeal as far as I could tell. It was as much of a shadow as I was.

  “Ignore it,” Tyler said. “It messed with you to begin with because you acknowledged its presence. The magic is temperamental. The Synod is big on threes. They’ll send the Délash three times. The first two are meant as warnings.”

  “And if I see it a third time?” I asked.

  Ty shrugged. “In any normal circumstance, you’d be fucked.”

  Wow. If that wasn’t just uplifting as hell. “In any normal circumstance?” I repeated. I wanted to know what part of any of this Ty might consider normal. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific, because I’m not sure how much more of this cryptic bullshit I can take.”

  “I told you,” Ty said. “This has nothing to do with your Darian. This is about the Synod wanting to control me.”

  “If I’m being visited by the Synod’s hitman, I think we can safely say this does, in fact, have something to do with me. It picked me up and tossed me around like a ragdoll, Ty. And somehow, I don’t think that ignoring it would have kept it from throwing me against a wall.”

  His brow puckered as absorbed my words. “Are you hurt?”

  “That’s not the point!” Jesus, what in the hell was wrong with him? “What is Nys’Asdar?”

  Tyler averted his gaze. “It’s not important.”

  “The hell it isn’t! It’s what all of this is really about!”

  “This is about power, Darian, plain and simple. This is about me reclaiming a part of myself that the Synod took.”

  “Is any of this in retaliation for what they did to Adira?”

  Ty’s gaze locked with mine and his expression darkened with his anger. I swallowed down the fear that rose in my throat and knocked my chin up a notch. I was tired of being in the dark. I knew that Ty wanted me to have faith in him. To trust him. And I did. But this had gone too far. With all of the Synod’s threats looming above us, we needed to face them as a united front.

  “Well?” I asked. “Is it?”

  I didn’t know much about Adira’s story. She’d bound herself to Kade, the piece of shit Cambion who’d damned near killed me almost a year ago. His ability to siphon Adira’s power had violated all sorts of Jinn rules and the last time I’d seen her, she told me that she’d been called before the Synod to face their judgment for violating their rules. Tyler had cared for her. Had maybe even loved her once. He’d considered her a victim of Kade’s ambitions and for all I knew that was probably the case. The Synod h
ad apparently disagreed, though. And knowing Ty, he hadn’t taken whatever her punishment had been well.

  “Have you thought about what it truly means to be omnipotent, Darian?” Ty’s tone was too calm, too level for my peace of mind. “There are no limits, only endless possibilities.”

  I had to admit, the concept was frightening. Unchecked power was a dangerous thing, especially when in the wrong hands. The thought of Tyler possessing that sort of power scared me. Not because I thought he’d abuse it. At least, not intentionally. But he’d defy the natural order to protect the ones he loved. Of that I had no doubt.

  “It’s a concept I can’t even fathom,” I replied after a moment. “I can’t begin to wrap my mind around what it means.”

  “Gods aren’t meant to walk with men,” Ty said absently.

  “Are you trying to tell me that you’re a god, Tyler?”

  “I’m trying to tell you that I’ve got this under control, Darian. I know you want to be in the thick of it, but I’m keeping you out of the loop to protect you.”

  The way he refused to answer any of my questions maddened me. “You said yourself that there might be a time when you can no longer protect me. Seems to me like that time has come, but I won’t have a chance of protecting myself if I don’t know what in the hell is going on.”

  God, I was exhausted. So tired of the damned fight. I’d survived the frying pan of Padma’s vengeful torture only to be tossed into the flames of the Synod’s indignation. Tyler’s silence only made matters worse. One visit from the Délash was enough. I didn’t want to see what happened during a second—or even third—encounter. Not even a pair of bloodthirsty sentient daggers would be a match for incorporeal sentient magic. If Tyler couldn’t protect me, then who could? He might have been ready to go toe-to-toe with the Synod, but I wasn’t sure that I was up to snuff.

  “I’m always with you, Darian,” Ty said somberly. “Always.”

  His cryptic non-response tipped my temper of the edge. “What in the hell does that even mean?” It pissed me off to no end that I had to keep asking him that. “Do you mean this?” I thrust my left fist toward his face, thumb pointing out. “Padma tried to take it from me,” I said. “She tried to cut my fucking thumb off to get it. She sensed the power in it and she beat me fucking bloody when she couldn’t have it.”