His expression had softened. “I’ll always be here for you, baby girl. Always. Just like you are for me.”
That last part was said in a hopeful tone, which was strange because they’d long ago vowed to be there for each other through thick and thin.
“Something on your mind?” she asked, leading him out of her tiny kitchen and back in the living room. “You sounded…unsure a second ago.”
Checking his watch, he appeared uncertain as to how to answer. Billie had seen this mood before. He had something to say but he didn’t want to say it. “If we don’t leave soon we’re going to miss tipoff.”
“It’s up to you, but I bet the Lakers will play whether we’re courtside or not.”
He still looked unsure. “You really don’t mind? I guess I’m not much in the mood for a game tonight. Can we just order some dinner and hang out?”
“It’s fine. Do you want to stay here or go up to the house?”
“We can stay here.” He pulled out his phone. “The usual?”
The usual was a hell of a lot of food but Tyler liked to have leftovers. “Sounds good. If you want beer or wine, you know…”
He’d have to go back to the house or run to the liquor store. Billie didn’t drink.
“Soda’s fine. Let’s find something to watch on television.”
He was going to pretend he didn’t want to talk. That was fine. She’d just wait him out. They’d done this dance before. He pretended there was nothing bothering him and she pretended he was right.
It was over an hour later when his tongue finally loosened up. They’d demolished a large pizza and watched half of When Harry Met Sally. It had been her turn to pick the movie tonight and he’d given her a long-suffering sigh even though she knew he liked the film too. Maybe not as much as she did, but he enjoyed it all the same.
Harry and Sally were singing Surry With the Fringe on Top in a Sharper Image store when Tyler pressed the pause button on the remote control.
“I’ve got something on my mind that we need to discuss.”
Geez, finally.
“I thought so. I’m listening. Is everything alright?”
They were both reclining on a stack of pillows strewn on the floor in front of the television. Tyler sat up, rubbing his palms together in a nervous gesture.
“It’s not but it can be,” he replied rather ambiguously. “And I need your help. I know it’s a lot to ask but you’re literally the only one that can help me.”
Jesus, this sounded serious. Even his expression was sober and frightening. Her heart lurched in real fear that he might be sick or dying or worse. He was the closest thing to a real home and family that she’d ever known.
“If you need a kidney or part of my liver, it’s yours. You know that.”
Did he need bone marrow? She’d give him that too. Anything as long as he’d be okay.
“I need your hand.”
What? That didn’t make any sense. He had two perfectly good ones attached to the ends of his arms. They were twice the size of her own and much stronger.
“My hand? I’m not following you.”
His gaze dropped to the floor and then back to her, his blue eyes intense. “I need your hand in marriage, Billie.”
The world stopped spinning on its axis and the noise of the outside world dimmed. All she could hear was a buzzing sound in her own ears and she was pretty sure that was the sound of her brain draining out of a hole in her skull.
Obviously, she’d heard incorrectly.
“Can you say that again?”
Her question had come out choked and mangled but then she was rarely this up-ended by Tyler. Normally he was as predictable to her as the tides.
“I need you to marry me, babe. The sooner, the better.”
Is he pregnant? Wait, no. He can’t be. Am I pregnant?
“That’s what I thought you said.”
That’s when a horrible thought occurred to her. Had Tyler…fallen in love with her? Had he been carrying some imaginary torch for her all these years and only tonight had screwed up enough courage to say something… All unrequited love like the movie–
Whoa. This was Tyler Gaylord.
Not some lovelorn hero in a chick flick. She was barking up the wrong tree if she thought he’d been pining for her ass all this time. Something else had to be at play here. But she had to be sure.
“I can’t believe I’m asking this but…are you…you know…in…”
Shit, she couldn’t even say the words out loud but he seemed to get the idea because his eyes widened and his face split into a grin. “Baby, relax. This is not a declaration of love and devotion here.”
She could breathe again. “Whew. Well, that’s a relief. You had me scared there for a moment.”
His smile disappeared and that earnest expression was back. “But you know I love you, right? I’m just not in love. You know what I mean? I don’t do the hearts and flowers thing. It’s just not me.”
Now she was annoyed. It was ego-deflating to hear him vehemently deny that he was desperately in love with her. Not that she wanted him to be, because she didn’t. She and Tyler didn’t have that kind of relationship. It might have been nice though if he had a little crush or something.
He’d never even tried to get her into bed. Not once since the day she’d met him. She was possibly the only women in the greater Los Angeles area he hadn’t come on to. When she thought about it, it was kind of hurtful. She was attractive and had excellent hygiene. She was also conveniently located, living less than a hundred feet from where he slept.
“I got it,” she replied curtly. “Now do you want to tell me – clearly, please – what’s going on here? Since when do you want to get married at all, let alone to me?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “I can explain it but please hear me out all the way until the end. This is important.”
Gritting her teeth, Billie nodded. She had a million questions but she’d hold them all until he was done. Whatever was going on had Tyler rattled. She’d never seen him like this. He acted almost like he really did want to get married which she knew was pure bull.
Tyler Gaylord was many things. Handsome, sexy, talented, funny, sweet, caring, and a pain in the ass. But he definitely was not the marrying kind. He wasn’t even the faithful kind.
He was Hollywood’s quintessential playboy and he loved every minute of it.
CHAPTER FIVE
Tyler had laid out his quandary for Billie. He’d explained about the movie role, although they’d discussed it before and how much he wanted it. He’d explained about the director Ron Weller and how he didn’t think a person could act in love unless they’d actually been in love, plus his preference for actors who had settled down and didn’t party. Then to put the cherry on top of the sundae, Tyler had explained that the only person he could possibly stand to be around that much was her. He’d thought she’d be complimented.
“It won’t even change things all that much, babe. You can even keep your last name if you want.”
She was looking at him as if he’d lost his mind, which he was sure he hadn’t. It was the smartest idea he’d ever come up with. It was perfect. She was perfect.
“What do you mean things won’t change? Dear Lord, we’ll be married.” She shoved at his shoulder. “That’s a change. A big one, idiot.”
“It doesn’t have to be a big change.”
She shook her head, her eyes wide. “Have you even thought this through? I mean, I know you’re impetuous but this is beyond anything you’ve ever done. Let me ask you this…after we’re married…where will I live?”
That was a silly question. “With me, of course. Husbands and wives live together.”
“So that would be a change. How about another question? Would I travel with you? Because that would be different.”
Billie was throwing up roadblocks where there didn’t have to be any. “Sure, if you want to. If you weren’t working. Why wouldn’t you travel with me? And
you have traveled with me, Billie. You’ve visited me on several movie sets.”
“So that would be another change,” she stated. “Already we have two big changes. I’m sure there are more.”
Why was she making this so difficult? Couldn’t she see how this would help not just him but her as well? She hated to take any assistance in her career but being his wife would give her connections that could make all the difference.
“Billie, I know I’m asking a lot but I cannot lose this role. I just can’t.”
Cocking her head, she regarded him steadily. “Do you? Do you really and truly understand what you’re asking because I’m not sure you get it. Marriage is a commitment even if as you say it won’t be forever. It’s still a promise that I would make to you.”
Was she worried about not being allowed to date other guys? Love and men had never been high on her priority list in the past.
“You’re not even dating anyone, are you?”
That was apparently the wrong question to ask because her face turned red and she jumped to her feet to pace the small space.
“No, I’m not but you didn’t know that for sure and you’ve already assumed that I’d say yes. Why on earth did you think I’d say yes to something like this, Tyler?”
Swallowing hard, he was beginning to see that she wasn’t thinking about this as some run of the mill request. He knew it was major but she’d give him a kidney. Was a marriage license a much bigger deal than a kidney? “Because we always said we’d do anything for each other. This is much less of a risk than burying a body for me or giving me a vital organ. It’s just a piece of paper, Billie.”
Abruptly she stopped pacing, her fingers pressed against her temples. “It’s marriage. Do you even know what that means? We’d get up in front of witnesses and say vows.”
He was starting to see what it meant to her. “It wouldn’t be forever.”
“That makes it worse.”
He threw up his hands. “Make me understand here because you’ve lost me. I’m asking you to marry me to help me get what is probably the most important role of my career. You wouldn’t have to be married to me for the rest of your life. How many Hollywood marriages survive? Just a couple of years. I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of when it’s over. Whatever you want. You name it.”
Her face had gone pale and she took two steps away from him. “Are you trying to buy me, Tyler Christopher Gaylord?”
The shit had really hit the fan when Billie used his middle name. He was in some big fucking trouble and he needed to step carefully.
“It would be a business arrangement, baby girl, so of course you would be compensated. Think of it as the ultimate acting gig.”
Sitting back down, she buried her face in her hands for a long moment before looking up at him. “Let me try this again. First, I’m upset that you told your publicist that we’re engaged without speaking with me. It was high-handed and presumptuous. Pretty much all the things that you are. Second, despite my background and lackluster family situation, I do take something like marriage seriously. It’s…sacred. You say vows in front of family and friends. You sign a paper and make promises. I’m not sure I can do that knowing I don’t intend to keep any of them. Jesus, Tyler, your parents have been married like forty-five years. How can you take this so lightly?”
This was turning out to be much more difficult than he’d pictured.
* * *
Clearly Tyler had been hit on the head at some point during the day and now he was suffering from a serious break with reality. He wanted to get married. To her – Billie Oliver. But not for forever. Just for awhile. Just long enough to make a movie and promote it. Maybe attend a few award shows.
Billie wasn’t a naive Hollywood virgin. She knew the drill. Relationships were often more business out here than emotional. Girls and guys calculated what and who could give them a leg up in the industry and they considered it the cost of doing business. She was proud of the fact that she hadn’t slept her way into a role and she wanted to keep it that way.
But that brought up another question she was afraid to ask… Did he expect them to have sex? Was he planning to be faithful? Because Tyler Gaylord couldn’t go too long without some intimate female companionship. She’d seen that with her own two eyes these last five years. He had a high sex drive. Like Mount Everest high.
Right now, his expression was contrite but hopeful. “Listen, I’m sorry that I told Garrett that we were engaged but it honestly never occurred to me that you would react like this. Shit, you’re ten times more practical than I am, always thinking about business and being professional. I figured if I hadn’t thought of this, you would have.”
Tyler made a good point. It was something that she might have come up with and suggested, the difference being she wouldn’t have put herself forth as a candidate.
“I admit it’s not the worst idea in the world,” she replied carefully, not wanting him to get his hopes up. The answer was still a resounding no. “But can’t you hire someone to do this? I can think of a half a dozen actresses off the top of my head that would give their fake boobs to do this. Hell, they’d pay you.”
He was already shaking his head no. “No way am I going to get involved with some actress who is looking for the main chance. I’ve seen that go south more times than I can count. The only way I would do this is with someone I can trust implicitly. That’s a short list, babe, and you’re at the top of it.”
As gratifying as it was to hear that, she wasn’t going to marry him.
“Tyler,” she began again, needing him to understand. “I love you. You know that, right? And I’ve always said that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, but I guess we found a limit. Marriage is in a whole other category, karma-wise. It’s not something you play with even though I know here in Hollywood people do it all the time. I just can’t vow to love and honor you until death do us part while at the same time planning our divorce a few years later, after you win your Oscar.”
He sat across from her, placing his large hands on her knees, the warmth from his skin seeping through the denim of her jeans. “Babe, I love you too and no matter what you decide I always will. But I’m begging you here. Do you want me on my knees?” He dropped to his knees, making her want to climb over the back of the couch and hide. When he was like this he was hard to refuse. “I’ll beg and plead. This role feels like it was written for me. I can feel this character in my bones and heart, deep down into my soul. If you don’t want a contract that specifies an end date then we’ll just play it by ear. Heck, we might even really enjoy being married to each other. We can have so much fun, babe. Even more than we have now because we’ll be together. Parties, travel, movies. I’d love to work with you. We can do it all but you have to say yes.”
For a moment she was tempted. The part about working with Tyler was something she’d always wanted. He was a consummate actor and she’d played opposite him when she’d helped him rehearse but never in a real, live production.
Reaching out, she cupped his face in her hands, tears pricking the back of her eyes. Disappointing Tyler was the last thing she wanted to do but how could she do something that deep down she felt was wrong? This wasn’t how she’d pictured being proposed to.
“I just can’t,” she said softly, watching his expression fall. “I’ve never said no to you, Tyler. Not about something important, anyway, but today I have to do it. Marriage isn’t a toy you take out to play with whenever you get the urge. It’s a commitment that I don’t take lightly. When I get married – if I ever get married – I want it to be because I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without that other person. I want them to be my soulmate, the reason I breathe and get up in the morning. I want to be head over heels, helplessly in love. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.”
Sitting back on his heels, he gazed down at the floor. “I never realized what a romantic you were, babe.”
Shrugging awkwardly, she swallowed the lump that had
taken up residence in her throat. Her little speech had shocked her as well. “I guess I am. More than I knew.”
Raising his head, their gazes collided as his fingers tightened on her legs. “I’d do anything to make you happy, Billie. I know I don’t look it but I think I could be a decent husband to you. I’d treat you right.”
He’d try but would old habits come back to haunt them? As one of the premiere movie stars in the world, rules simply didn’t apply to him like they did to other mortals.
Standing, she rested her palm on the top of his head, struggling to keep the tears at bay. Saying no to the one person in the world who had treated her like family was tearing her apart. It would have been easier to give him part of her liver.
“I think you should go.”
He also rose to his feet, his arms falling to his sides, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Promise me you’ll think more about this.”
It was almost funny if it hadn’t been so tragic. “I doubt I’ll think of little else.”
Tyler turned and walked out of the cottage without another word but she knew this wasn’t over. He hadn’t reached the pinnacle of his career by being a quitter. Tyler Gaylord had more than his share of perseverance and grit. He’d be back after he thought of something else to sweeten the pot. She’d need to be ten times stronger to resist.
Or maybe he wouldn’t come back. Maybe he was done with her. By saying no had she ruined the only good thing she’d ever had in her life? Had she just broken her own home?
CHAPTER SIX
Wiping away a few tears that had leaked from her eyes, Billie wandered into her tiny kitchen and dug into her chocolate stash that she hid behind the box of granola bars in the pantry. Tyler had quite the sweet tooth and would have devoured her dark chocolate candies if he’d known they were there.
Since she didn’t smoke or drink, sugar was her only indulgence and she needed the comfort that chocolate always brought. Even when she was a child, a candy bar had been a decadent but rare treat.
Wild on the Red Carpet (The Hollywood Showmance Chronicles Book 3) Page 3