by Bone, K. L.
“I don’t even know what I am. Nothing, I feel nothing.”
“I know…and it scares me.”
“There is nothing you can do.”
“Perhaps not. But there is one who can.”
“No, he can’t.”
“Mara, listen to me.”
“No.”
“Mara, this isolation, this anguish—it killed your mother.”
Mara stared at Phillip. “What are you saying?”
“You are suffocating. Locked in your tower unwilling to face the world surrounding you.” He stared directly into her amethyst eyes. “I know it has been difficult. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult.”
“What do you want from me? What the hell do you want? What more must I give?”
“I want you to live! I want you to leave the Tower, before its isolation consumes you completely. I want you to let people into your world, Mara. Please, Mara. I am trying to help you.”
“You can’t!” she exclaimed. “Don’t you understand? You cannot help me.”
“Mara.” He leaned forward, closing the distance between them.
“Don’t.” She stood from the bed, moving several paces to her right. “Just don’t.”
“I know how badly you need Edward,” he stated in a low, strained tone, slowly rising from his kneeling position. “If I could change that, I would. I would rip him from your deepest memory and make you forget his very existence.” He drew a deep breath. “I know you need him, Mara. But he is not here…and I am.”
“So what?” she asked bitterly.
He walked forward and turned her back to face him. He reached forward and touched her cheek before slowly sliding his hand to the back of her neck. She watched in confusion as he suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against her own. She jerked back, but he kept his hand firmly on her beck, controlling her until he pulled back.
“How dare you!” she began when Phillip moved a second hand to her back and pulled her forward into another controlled kiss. This time when he pulled back, it was to give her the full weight of his pale eyes. “I will be damned if I am going to stand here and watch you die.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice boiling with anger. “Just think, Phillip. Then the Black Rose would be yours and you could run it however you damn well please.”
Phillip moved his hand to Mara’s arms and grabbed her just above the wrist. He forcibly moved her towards the center of the room to a seated position upon the large bed. “Don’t!” she said again, attempting to twist her arm away from him. He ignored her protests and knelt in front of her as he kept her on the edge of the bed, refusing to loosen his grip upon her wrists.
“What do you need, Mara? Tell me what it is that you need so badly that you lock yourself away night after night.” She shook her head. “Tell me, Mara.” He made it a demand.
“What do you want?” she all but screamed. “You want me to say that I need him? That I don’t know how to function, to live, to breathe, without him—fine! I’ll say it!” Her words began to crumble. “I need him. I love him. But…I can’t have him.” Her eyes were wide, wild. “What do you want from me?”
“Let me give you what you need.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I will be whatever you need, Mara. Whatever…whoever…you need me to be. Close your eyes, my Lady. Tell me what you would tell him.”
Fear began to climb along Mara’s spine. “You are asking me to…” She searched his gaze. “To close my eyes and what? Pretend. Call you by his name and…are you insane? How could you even propose such a ghastly, such a…” She could not find the words she reached for.
“You need to feel something, Mara. By the Gods above, you need touch and warmth or you will not survive this. You just learned the identity of Liza’s killer. Yet, you are numb. Completely numb.”
“What should I have done? Yell, scream?”
“Yes! Any, all, just…anything, Mara. Anything.”
“No. I cannot…”
“Damnit, Mara!”
“I can’t! Don’t you see? If I do, it will never stop!”
“You are not alone in this,” he said, unknowingly echoing Edward’s broken promise. “Do you hear me, Mara? You are not alone. You can share this burden with your guard—with me.”
“No more lies!” she yelled bitterly. “He lied, he always lies. I am alone. I have always been alone.”
Phillip leaned forward until all she could see were the blue pools of his eyes. “But you do not have to be.” She felt his warm breath upon her face. “Not here, not tonight.” He kissed her and this time, she allowed it, closing her eyes against the world which sought to break her. He pulled her close, running his hand gently through her hair in a familiar gesture. “Mara.” He spoke her name softly. “Let me be what you need,” he whispered as Edward had done so long ago. “I am here. You are not alone, my Mara. mea rosa immortalis.”
His lips claimed hers. She sank into the kiss, refusing to open her eyes as he slowly pressed her down into the blankets. Her voice rose soft and confused as the world began to shift. “I don’t…we shouldn’t be…”
He pressed a finger lightly against her lips, silencing her protests as his hand slid down her face. “It is okay, my rose,” Edward’s words washed over her. “adsum, mea rosa, mi amour.”
Time seemed to slip away as the strong hands caressed her, exploring her face with soft caresses before moving down her throat to reach the top of her black sweater. He traced the line of the cloth for several moments before reaching down to touch her breasts through the thick material. She slowly began to give herself over to the sensations—the simple touch—her body longed for. It has been so long since he had held her, caressed her; the mere act of being touched brought fresh tears to her closed eyes.
He moved her as he willed, slowly removing her top and pulling it over her head to expose her flawless skin. “te amo, rosa, mea rosa immortalis,” he whispered as his hands slid slowly to her breasts, drawing a gasp from her parted lips. Then he moved lower, sliding his hands completely up and down each of her long, pale legs before moving his hand between them. Yet it was here at this unfamiliar touch that Mara’s eyes flew open and she found herself staring not into Edward’s dark gaze, but into Phillip’s crystal blue.
She jerked frantically from the bed, scrambling towards the edge. “What are you doing? We were…oh Gods…No.”
“Mara,” he said, trying to calm her. “Just listen to me.”
“No. No.” She felt nauseated. The world seemed to spin.
“Mara…”
“No.” She shook her head, dressing quickly as she scrambled towards the door.
“Mara…”
“Stay away from me!” She raced forward into the hallways and down the winding stairwell to the castle floor. When she reached the doors of the ancient keep she threw them open with such force that they slammed against the stones.
“Mara?” Garreth asked from his position on the opposite side.
“I have to go,” she stated without so much as glancing in his direction. “You’re in charge.”
“Go? Where are you going?”
Mara kept walking straight to the stables. As she entered, she pulled a heavy wool cloak from a hook at the entrance and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then she proceeded to her horse, a tall black stallion who she had named Noir. Without bothering with a saddle, Mara mounted him, gently stroking the horse’s neck as she led him from the stables.
“Mara, what is going on?” Garreth inquired. “What happened?”
She shook her head. “I have to go.”
“Mara, please.”
She dug her heels into the side of her horse and rode toward the front gates, which were opened at the order of their Captain. She raced along the dirt path toward the distant mountains beyond, memories dancing in the swirling winds surrounding which refused to be banished. She rode hard and fast until finally reaching a small spring where she suddenly stopped, givin
g her horse a much needed respite from the long run. She laid down in the spring grass and fell into a deep slumber until morning light, when she rose and again resumed her journey across the mountains.
It took over a week of hard riding before she reached the lush forest she had known so well as a child, and longer still to reach the palace grounds. Still a few hours away, she found herself caught in a ferocious downpour, slowing her ride to a walk as she attempted to maneuver the horse through the pouring rain. By the time she reached the palace, she was completely drenched. At the sight of only a single rider, guards opened the gates for her, ushering her in from the rain.
“Greetings,” a man with light brown hair said to her. “What may I do for you, my Lady? Must be awfully important to be out in this storm.”
“Captain Mara?” a blond suddenly spoke from her left. “Mara, is that you?”
“Jake?”
“By the Gods, it is you.” He turned to the other man. “Let her through, Quinn. She’s a friend.”
Quinn nodded. “I will leave her to you then.”
Jake approached her with a large black cloak. “Here,” he said, wrapping it around her wet shoulders. “Let’s get you inside and into some dry clothes.”
“No,” she said. “Take me to Edward. I need to see Edward.”
“Yes, I figured as much. I’m guessing you remember the way?”
Jake led Mara down a series of winding hallways which were instantly foreign and familiar at the same time. “Is everything okay?” Jake asked, lengthening his stride in order to match her determined pace.
“I need to see him.”
When they reached the doors to the Captain’s chambers, Mara did not pause to knock, instead throwing open the doors. Edward sat on a small couch on the right side of the room, staring at a stack of papers on the table before him. A pair of candles were lit upon the table, providing much needed light, and a warm fire burned several feet to his left. He glanced up from the papers, startled as the doors flew open. For a moment he simply stared, a voice in his head questioning his sanity as he stared at the woman standing in the doorway. Her dark hair was matted against her face, water streaming steadily from its wet strands. Her wet clothes clung to her body like a second skin.
The scroll Edward had been holding fell to the floor. “Mara?” His voice told a story of disbelief as he slowly rose to his feet. He caught her wild gaze as she quickly crossed the room. “What are you…” he started to say but his words were silenced as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his lips down to hers. She kissed him deep and thoroughly, pressing against him as though attempting to thrust her soul out of her body and into his.
When she finally pulled back she did not speak, but began to peel the soaking clothes from her body, revealing her pale skin to his gaze until she finally stood nude before him. Then she leaned forward and kissed him again, giving in to a desperate, wild sense of abandonment. “Mara, I don’t understand. What is going on?” he asked on the edge of a heated breath.
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I love you, Edward. I’m so tired and scared and alone. Please.” She forced herself to meet his gaze. “I need you.”
Edward looked down at her for several long moments, then he raised his own shirt and throwing it to the floor beneath him, revealing the taut lines of his pale chest. He then reached forward and pulled Mara toward him, kissing her thoroughly. “You are sure?” was all he asked.
“Completely.”
He reached a hand to the side of her face and pressed it tightly against her cheek. “I was such a fool. That last day…” His neck twisted in a tight spiral. “Gods Mara, I was such a fool. Forgive me.” He drew her to him, pressing her bare breasts to his chest. Then he scooped her into his arms and carried her across the room to the bed. He stared at her for several heartbeats, his eyes roaming her still form as though trying to memorize every line and curve. Then he stripped off his clothes and lay down beside the woman who, even after all they had been through, remained the possessor of his soul.
Time seemed to melt as Edward ran his hands over her smooth skin, eternally young despite her centuries of life. He traced his hands down her throat and to her breasts, slowly circling each nipple before moving his lips to enfold their sensitive tips. Mara moaned at the sensation, tracing her hands along his spine.
When his hands finally moved lower, her entire body was trembling and she was unable to suppress another moan as he ran a finger down her legs and up her inner thigh. Very slowly, he slid a finger into her warm depths, causing her to gasp at his touch. At the sound, he moved his attention higher yet again, slowly settling himself above her and leaned down for another searing kiss. “Mara,” he whispered. “Are you ready?”
“Please,” was all she could bring herself to say, but the single word was enough. He took her, sliding slowly forward as she whispered his name. “Edward, Edward…”
“ego adsum, mea rosa. I am here.” He kept his voice at a gentle tone even as he drove his body deeper into hers. “mea rosa immortalis.” At the sound of his voice, Mara completely gave herself over to the sensations consuming her. The world faded to nothing, save for the exquisite feeling of Edward’s body melding into hers.
It was only later, after their passions were spent, that the full range of her emotions came rushing to the surface. Mara rose from where she lay to a seated position on the edge of the bed, fighting to draw a steady breath.
“Mara?” Edward rose from the bed beside her.
She shook her head, still fighting to breathe.
“Mara,” he said again, his voice washing over her with more intimacy than any caress, pulling tears from her eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder and gently turned her to face him. “My Lady.”
She drew a ragged breath and tried to speak. “You’re here,” was all she could seem to manage as her left hand moved to touch the side of his face. “You’re here.”
He moved his hand over hers, pressing her fingers firmly against his cheek. “Yes,” he replied softly. “adsum, mea rosa, mi amor.”
“You’re here,” she said again. “I…I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t…all I could think of was getting to you.” She closed her eyes against the tears burring her vision. “Edward, I’m…”
He pulled her against him, crushing her in his strong embrace. “Oh Gods, Mara. You can always come to me. I…” He pulled back enough to see her eyes. “Mara…” Her name escaped as a strangled whisper. “mea rosa immortalis.” His hand slid to the back of her neck and he lowered his lips to hers.
She kissed him back, pouring her heart and soul from her body as into his as she collapsed into his arms—surrendering all thought, all control everything she was or would be into his powerful embrace. She spoke the words which bared her soul. “I love you.”
She laid down beside him, closing her eyes as he ran his hand gently through the long stands of her dark hair, relaxing into his soothing embrace. “I am here, Mara; te amo, rosa, mea rosa immortalis.” He whispered over and over. She drifted to a dreamless sleep still listening to the sound of his voice.
It was only later, when she awakened in the dark chambers, Edward’s arm draped protectively around her, that the full weight of reality came crashing down upon her. She drew herself slowly from Edward’s sleeping form, tears filling her eyes and she forced herself to leave his warm embrace.
She walked quietly into his closet and pulled one of his shirts from where it hung along with a long, full-length black cloak which she tied securely around her. The clothes dwarfed her slender frame, but at least it was dry. She slipped quietly towards the door, but no sooner did her hand reach the silver handle, then she felt a touch on her shoulder. “Mara?” Edward said questioningly before adding, “I expected to wake and find this a dream.”
“Forgive me,” she said softly. “I have to go.”
“What is going on, Mara?” He turned her gently to face him, and realized she was crying. “Gods, Mara, what i
s it? What?” He spoke more gently than before. “Please talk to me. Are you upset because of what we…”
“No.” Her protest rose louder than planned, but she didn’t care. “I…I love you. I needed… I couldn’t...”
“Mara,” he said and pulled her into his embrace. “It is okay. Just, tell me what is going on.”
“I know who killed her,” she said miserably.
Edward pulled back enough to see her face, a look of uncertainty crossing his features. “Her…you mean?”
Mara nodded. “I know who killed her.”
“Liza? You know who killed Liza?”
“Yes.”
Edward’s lips parted and he drew a sharp breath. “By the Gods.”
“They killed her, Edward.”
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter. They are all dead. I am going kill them all.”
“Mara…” He looked ill. “Are you okay?”
“No.” She continued to search his gaze then said, “Come with me, Edward. I don’t think I can do this without you. Please. I need you.”
“Mara.” He drew an unsteady breath. “Oh, Mara. I…I can’t. I want to, but I just…I’m sorry.”
She shut her eyes tightly. Her words trembled as she forced herself to answer. “I know,” she whispered. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Mara, please. You don’t have to go. Come back to bed, get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning.”
“No.” She shook her head.
“Mara you need sleep.”
“No,” she said again. “If I lie back down with you, I will never leave. I will stay with you until the end of time and my vow shall remain unfulfilled. I’m sorry, Edward. I…I have to go.” She shook her head and more tears fells. “I love you, but I have to go.”
“Mara.” Something in his voice drew her eyes unwillingly into the depths of his. “Promise me.”
Her entire body trembled as she said, “Anything.”
“Come back. Come back to me.”