I walked past him as quick as I dared. He was right on my heels. I tried to pretend that he wasn't there. I put the comforter in the trunk and closed it quickly.
I was about to get in when he blocked the way again. I continued to look down. If I could just ignore him no matter what then he would get bored and leave me alone.
“I'm so sorry. It was all my fault.” He opened the door for me, and I got in right away.
I removed my laptop purse and set it on the passenger's seat. I reached over to close the door. He held it tight.
“You deserve a better guy than me. Keep that in mind.” He closed the door for me, but my hand wasn't out of the way yet. My hand bent back the way it shouldn't. I gasped in pain and held my wrist close to my heart with my other hand wrapped around it.
He opened the door and crouched down. “What kind of an ass, am I? I can't believe I hurt you again. Let me see. I'll bring you to the hospital. Please, Katherine, let me see it.”
I just sat there crying. This was just too much for me. I had enough material to write a book about a stalker. I could even see that one being filmed too. 'Now isn't the time to let your mind wonder!' I scolded myself. I still had to get away from him.
“Katherine, believe me I am so sorry. So terribly sorry. I can't believe what I did to you and now this on top of everything else. Please, stop crying. It was my fault. I can't begin to tell you how great you are. You even told me that you felt I talked down to you. I know you are perfectly capable of taking your car into the shop, and cooking fantastic meals for yourself. You just have other interests than I do, and I have to learn to except that. I am the one who needs to better themselves, not you. You never hurt me on purpose. I'm the bad guy here. Not you.”
I couldn't believe how much he sounded like the man in my book. He said the same crap to his wife every time she wanted to leave him. The only things missing, were for him to promise me diverse gifts the promise, to never do it again, or he would turn himself into the police personally if he were to ever hurt me again (the husband in my book never turned himself in). He hurts her again and again.
“Katherine, do you need x-rays?”
I shook my head while still keeping it bowed.
“I would feel better if a doctor looked at it.”
“This isn't about you feeling better. Just leave me alone.” I kept my head down.
He nodded and stepped away from the door. He closed it very slowly and carefully this time. I went home and put a bag of frozen peas on my swollen wrist. It wasn't working. If anything I felt even worse. An hour later I went to the hospital. It was hard to drive with just one hand. I had a stick shift. No one had one nowadays but they were normal in Germany, so I was in the habit.
I walked into the hospital and registered. They had me wait for what felt like forever. I should have brought my laptop in with me but I couldn't type this way anyway. I watched water dripping from my bag of no longer frozen peas to my now very wet jeans.
“I saw your car outside. I figured I had broken it.” He stood there shaking his head at himself.
“Stalking laws?” That was all I could get out.
“Of course, you want me to leave. I'll go right away. I just want to say that I will be paying for this. All the costs. Even the pay you would be missing out on.”
I got up and moved several chairs away from him.
The doctor came out and got me personally. I was glad he didn't say my name aloud. “You don't look how I pictured you.”
Ryan was watching very closely. I wished he would just go home.
“How did you picture me?” I asked him as he was lifting up my bag of peas.
“I thought you would be older than me, at least. We're going to have to x-ray this. It might be broken.” The doctor led me away to be x-rayed. I didn't have to wait again. The doctor told everyone who I was. They were bending over backwards to please me. I just wanted the pain to go away. I was fighting not to cry. I wished I was a nobody so I could just be a baby. They put my wrist in a bulky brace. It was only sprained but it hurt like hell.
I had to go out to the waiting room. Ryan was sitting far away but he was still there. He was pretending not to notice me too.
The doctor came out with my prescription. He gave me the paper. “Take one every eight hours. Keep it elevated and cool it the next couple of days.”
“When can I work again?”
“In two weeks. Make an appointment for then and then we'll see. Maybe you can find someone to type for you.”
“That won't work. I'm working on the second part. It's top secret. I'm not allowed to let anyone know what I'm working on.”
“You're right. No one could be trusted with that information. They could sell it on the net.”
I nodded extremely disappointed. “Thank you for everything.”
“No wait. I'm not finished. You can't mix the medicine with alcohol. And no driving.”
I nodded again.
The doctor left and Ryan jumped up like a jack in the box. He took me lightly by my elbow and led me out the door.
My agent wanted those chapters and I couldn't work. I couldn't disappoint her. It just wasn't in me to not deliver as expected. There had to be some way to do what was expected of me. I hadn't even started. I felt just terrible. I should have started in right away. On the day the movie deal was closed. But no I went to him instead.
Ryan brought me to my car. “I'll drive you to the pharmacy and then home. I'll make you something to eat. Do we need to go shopping first?”
“I have a deadline. I can't be taking any medicine that is going to make me be out of it. I really have to hurry.” I opened my car and got in. I looked at my arm and thought about how I was supposed to drive.
“Katherine, I'll drive you.”
“No, I can do this. He meant no driving after taking the medicine.” I tried to get hold of the wheel but the brace just made it worse. I gave up, grabbed my laptop from the seat next to me, and I got out of the car and locked it. “I'll take a taxi.” I looked around for a phone. Maybe I should get a cell.
“I'm really sorry. Let me help you a little. Just a little.”
I was sick with worry already. I had that stupid womanly trait of always having to please. I was close to being hysterical. If I would have just put the lid on the pen last night then this wouldn't have happened. I could be safe at home writing like I should be doing. I was crying again.
Ryan was following me around as I paced back and forth, and held on to my laptop like it was a matter of national security.
I turned again and we were standing face to face. I leaned back away from him. “Why are you still here?”
“Because you need me.” He looked like that was the dumbest question he had ever had to answer.
“You mean because you think I'm not capable of taking care of myself. Just like you think I'm not capable of closing a car door! Just leave me alone before I trip over you or something.”
He grabbed hold of me and pulled me close. “Go ahead and cry. Just let it all out. I'm here for you.”
“Just let go. If you want to help me point me to the nearest phone.”
Ryan brought me to his car. He opened the door for me. He waited without saying a word.
My face was tear streaked already. This was going to end up being a nervous break down. I got in just to get this over with. He went around to his side and started the car. He drove to a pharmacy. I got out and got my medicine. He followed at my heels.
He held the door open for me again. I got in and he drove to his place. He walked around and held the door open. I got out and he brought me inside.
“You can have my bedroom.”
“No, thank you,” I said as strictly as I could.
He got a glass of water and then he started to read about my medicine. “You shouldn't take them on an empty stomach. What would you like?”
“Usage of both hands.” Was I ever pissed at him in the meantime.
“Oh good, you
're not being picky today. So whatever I have is fine.” He stormed into the kitchen and started cooking away. I could hear pots being moved around and the refrigerator door opening and closing.
I sat down on the sofa again and started to cry. To really, really cry. I was hugging my laptop as if it was a lifesaver and I was lost at sea.
He came out with a plate of what looked like tuna helper. I glanced at it and then back at him.
“You have to get your medicine in you as quickly as possible.” He held it out to me. I slowly let go of my computer I shoved it in between the arm of the sofa and my body. I wiped my tears away and took the plate. I ate until he announced that I had enough food in me to take my medicine. I took my pill and swallowed it quickly. He watched me closely as I finished eating. I on the other hand looked everywhere but in his direction.
When I was finished I was so tired. I snuggled into the sofa unable to hold my head up anymore. I had my arms wrapped around my laptop as I fell asleep. I woke as I felt him lift my head and put a pillow under it. I also noticed when he covered me up with a blanket, and when he lifted my feet and laid them on his lap, but then I was completely gone.
I stretched and moved around uncomfortably. My hand was throbbing in pain. I whimpered and put it close to my heart. I felt my feet moving. He was moving them so he could get up.
“I need you to sit up so you can drink this.” His strong arms were under me moving me the way he wanted me. He gave me my pill and then the water. I laid back down again. I was sobbing. This sofa seemed to be a fitting place for that. He liked me to cry here, I thought as I slowly fell back to sleep.
The same scenario was repeated what felt like several times. Once I woke up and he wasn't sitting on the sofa. I took the chance to go to the bathroom. I could hear him calling for me while I was washing my good hand and my face as best I could. I must have been sleeping for days but I was still very groggy. I wanted to wash and change.
I sighed and went out to him. He wasn't there. I sat down sideways on the sofa and drew my feet up.
He came back in and tried to pretend like he didn't think I had just taken off on him. He knelt next to the sofa and laid a hand on my shoulder so softly that I could hardly feel it.
I was crying again. “I need a shower and I have to change into clean clothes. I have to admit where I live now, don't I?”
“No, you don't I'll take care of everything. You don't have to give up your identity. I'll give you some of my stuff to wear.”
“No, it's time for me to go home now. I'll be missed this time. They will be calling and harping on me to meet my deadline. I have to go now. I have so much work to do.”
“I will draw you a bath and then we will see about you going home. I don't think that they will miss you just yet. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. They will assume that you are with your family.
I shot up so I was sitting perfectly straight. “Tomorrow is Thanksgiving? I am in so much trouble. Can I use your phone? I'll reimburse you for the costs. It's long distance.” My mom was going to be so ticked off at me. I had no plans of going home, but if I would have called sooner than we could have pretended that I wanted to come, at least, before I made my excuses not to.
He handed me his phone and went into the bathroom. He left the door open. I could hear him filling the bathtub.
“Hello.”
“Hi mom, it's me. How are you?”
“Well, to tell the truth I'm a little disappointed that my daughter couldn't find time to call sooner.” My mother was one of those people who were happily unhappy. She was impossible to please.
“I'm sorry but I was sick and then I fell asleep while working in bed and forgot to put the lid on my pen and when I woke up the whole bed was full of ink. My comforter doesn't fit in my wash machine so I had to go to the laundromat. I sprained my wrist closing the car door.”
I looked to see if he was listening while my mom talked. He was leaning against his bedroom doorframe smirking.
“Yes, I got the ink out.”
He raised his eyebrows and continued to smile.
“With hair spray. Came right out.”
“How could you let something like that happen?” my mom scolded.
I knew she meant the comforter. “I was sick and it happened, but like I said it's taken care of now. But because of the sprain I have to take medicine and I sleep a lot. I won't be able to come tomorrow. You understand, right?”
“We weren't planning on you anyway. Someone like you, doesn't keep contact with their family. I mean, if it was important to you then I wouldn't have had to find out that they were going to film your book while I was standing at the checkout.”
My mouth formed the words 'oh shit' as I leaned into the back of his sofa. “Didn't I mention that?”
“I would have remembered.” I had taken away her chance to brag about me. This is something that was very important to her.
“I'm really sorry. I have just been so concentrated on the second part and on other projects that it slipped my mind.”
I pictured my mother rolling her eyes. “Well, now we know not to wait for you tomorrow. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.” I hung up and handed him the phone again.
He was still smiling. He had enjoyed the show. “Did she even ask how you were feeling?”
I shook my head. Ryan stopped smiling right away. “So that's where you get it from.”
“What from?”
“She probably gave you the feeling that taking care of yourself wasn't important when you were a child. I'm glad you are learning it now. You are more than just your work.” Ryan reached under my arms and picked me up. He set me on my feet and I started to forget why I was so mad at him. He walked me into his bathroom. I watched him turn off the water and check the temperature.
“Is that my toothbrush from the last time I stayed here?”
“Sure is. Can you open the buttons by yourself?” He was already opening the ones at the end of my sleeves. He stepped back and watched me open one just using my right hand.
“Let me. It will go faster.” He swiftly opened them. My heart was beating like mad. “The towels are on the counter. Call me if you need any help.” With that he left closing the door.
I sighed relieved while I got undressed and folded my things and laid them on the countertop. I got into the tub and washed myself as quickly as I could. Washing my long hair was the hardest. I wasn't looking forward to combing it either.
I wondered about my toothbrush. Had he just not gotten around to throwing it away? Weird, very weird.
He had forgotten to lay out fresh clothes for me. I wrapped the towel around myself and peeked into his bedroom. He was reading on his bed.
He jumped up as I came out. “This drawer is full of T-shirts. My boxers are in here. Maybe you could use them as shorts. Whatever you find you can wear.” He left again closing the door. He was being nice enough now. I didn't feel afraid of him.
Had I overreacted? It was just a spanking. He had just caught me off guard. He thought that that was why I was here. That I liked that sort of thing. Maybe we could be friends again if I explained that I tried it and didn't like it. If he sent me packing then I wouldn't have to worry about getting rid of him again.
I put on some of his clothes. I looked like I was his girlfriend would after they had had – You know.
I went out to the living room. He was still reading. He laid the book down on the coffee table and I saw what he was reading. I looked at the book and then at him.
He looked at the book too. Only he looked confused.
“Did you go through my things?”
“No. Of course, I didn't.” He looked offended.
I continued to look pointedly at the book. “Really?”
“Are you reading the same book?” He looked pleased. “That's great, we can talk about it when you're finished. I'm rereading it. It's great.” If he was acting than he was a great actor.
“Oh, I've read that book at least a hundred ti
mes.” I continued to eye him.
He looked very surprised. “Is it your favorite book, or something?” He looked genuinely astonished.
“One of them,” I answered still watching him.
“Why don't you sit down, and I'll get you something to eat.” He helped me to the sofa like I couldn't have sat down by myself.
“Where is my laptop?”
“It's under the sofa. I was afraid it would fall on the floor while you slept. I didn't even take it out of the bag. If you don't want me to know who you are, then that's fine with me. I'll respect your wishes. By the way, thank you for letting me take care of you. I know this isn't easy for you.” He disappeared into the kitchen. I could hear the microwave. He brought me boiled potatoes with a broth on it.
I watched him closely for signs that he knew I was worth a couple million. I had to wonder who he would send a ransom note to. My parents wouldn't pay. They'd inherit and keep the cash.
“I think we need to talk about something.” I set the half eaten plate down and sat up straight. “I umm.”
He was waiting patiently with my medicine in his hands. He was pushing the next pill out of the foil.
“The thing is – It was just a whim. I tried it and I honestly didn't like it. I don't want to, never again.” I waited to see what his reaction might be.
He slowly smiled. “That's the whole point. I want you to hate it. To hate is so much that you never do anything silly again. The fear of a spanking should be enough to keep you in line. If you are good then you have nothing to fear. Time for your medicine and then I have a couple of questions for you.”
“You aren't listening to me again. I mean it, never again. No matter what I do, never.”
“That just isn't how this works. You came looking for me, not the other way around.”
“I know, but I decided against it. I don't believe anyone has the right to hit me and hurt me. If that means we can't be friends then so be it, but you may never raise a hand against me again.”
He looked hurt by my words. “You need your sleep, now.”
“Can't I go home?” I sighed and he didn't answer. “You just don't seem to want to respect my decision. It's better when I leave now. That way you can do whatever you planned for tomorrow.”
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