“Of course, I do. I can't begin to tell you how impressed I was when we talked about my book. It was like you looked into the characters souls and that's where you got the information. I think that you are more than just smart, you're brilliant.”
“No,” I wanted to stop him before he continued. “I meant, when you said you loved me.”
“Yes, I was very serious. I love you and I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.”
“But it doesn't make sense.”
“Why not?” He was sounding mad again.
“Because nobody has ever – ” I looked away from him. “I've got to go now.”
“Oh no, not now. Now that I understand what the problem is, I'm not just going to let you go. Katherine, I truly do love you. I love you so much that I even feel like going to your parents house spilling ink everywhere and telling them off for the way they treated you. For making you think that you are unlovable, because you're not.”
I had my head hung, and I was crying something terrible.
He picked the basket and laid an arm around me. “Let me take you home.”
I started walking and he still held me close. I led him to my apartment building. He whispered that he loved me ever now and again.
Ryan didn't say anything else. He followed me up the stairs. I unlocked my door and he stepped in. I could tell that he was impressed. Especially decked out for Christmas my apartment looked great.
He went to my kitchen and started unpacking my groceries. “You are baking cookies for Christmas?”
“I like Christmastime better than any other holiday.”
“Better than your own birthday?”
“Oh yes. We didn't celebrate my birthday much but everyone celebrated Christmas.”
“I'd celebrate your birthday with you if you would have me.”
I sighed again. “But you only want me because I misled you into believing that we have the same interests. Someone like you should be with some other really beautiful person who likes to be spanked.”
“Wait, hold on. Firstly do you think you are ugly or something? Because that isn't true. They ask me about you all the time at my grocery store. They say 'When are you going to bring your beautiful girlfriend with again.' I love that they thought I could get someone like you. Because you are beautiful, smart and so very lovable. And if you said that I could never spank you again I would respect that even though I have very strong views about it being my job to take care of my family, financially, as well as emotionally.”
“But as you can see I don't need financial help.”
“I just signed a contract that will put me in a better position too. It could lead to more work if I do my job well. You could quit your job if you wanted and you wouldn't have to live with the stress like you did last week.”
“I love my job. It would be painful for me to quit. It would be giving up a major piece of who I am. The biggest piece. I couldn't do that. I make a lot of people happy with what I do.”
“You make me happy just by being near me.” He stepped in front of me and looked at me awhile before he wrapped his arms around me. He started to kiss me and I wrapped my arms around him too. We kissed for several minutes when he pulled away from. “I want to make love with you right now but I'm afraid that you will think that I only said 'I love you' so I could.”
I wasn't sure what to say. My heart was already beating so wildly. “The thing is this – ”
“Are you a virgin?” He was smiling as he asked.
“Practically. I had a boyfriend back in college. I wasn't very good at it.”
“Why would you say that?”
“He said so when he dumped me,” I admitted.
“That jerk. He wasn't good in bed and he tried to push it off on you. I will have a lot of fun teaching you everything you need to know. I will be so gentle and loving, you will see that the man has the lead in making love most the time. It is the man's job to pleasure his wife.”
I gave him a confused look. That one was new to me.
He gave me a devilish smile. “Let me show you, please. Where is your bedroom?”
My eyes darted in that direction. He started pulling me.
“If you want me to stop I will. I'll listen to you. This isn't like with the safe word that you abused. This is something totally different.”
“Ryan, I don't know.”
“I promise, I will stop whenever you say.” He straightened up and swallowed hard. I could tell that he was hoping I wouldn't stop him.
I nodded and he started unbuttoning his shirt. I blushed and started unbuttoning my dress too. It buttoned the whole way down. I was busy a long time and he was already undressed down to his boxers.
“Can I help you?” He was smiling at me like I was an early Christmas gift.
“I thought I was doing so well with just one hand,” I sighed.
“You are, sweetheart, but I'm going mad watching you slowly opening those buttons.”
“Well, I suppose I could just step out now?”
“You look scared. You don't have to do anything, you don't want to.”
“I want to,” I answered him nervously. I slipped the dress away from my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
He gasped and I covered up myself with my arms. “You really are very beautiful. I promise now, that you are mine, I will never let you go.” He stepped forward and held me again. I opened my bra and he leaned back, away from me so I could remove it.
I had never seen a happier man in all my life. He was smiling so widely that it had to hurt. I was pretty much just blushing.
“This morning when I woke up I figured I would never see you again and that you hated me on so many levels and now we are about to make love. I'm sorry, I'm being so lovey dovey but all of my dreams are coming true just now.” Ryan picked me up and laid me on my bed. He laid down next to me, kissing me again. He rubbed his hands all over me and paid extra attention to my breasts.
I was arching up to him and offering myself shamelessly. He sucked on my nipples and held me close. He reached into my panties and rubbed me there until I screamed out his name.
“See, I told you so. This is all about you.” He kissed me and rubbed some more. I trusted him completely. I needed him even. I wanted more from him. Just from him. I whispered that in his ear and he nodded. He laid me on my back and removed my underwear.
My legs opened wide to welcome him. He positioned himself over me and slowly entered me. It was the single most amazing feeling of my life. I whimpered as he pulled it out again. “No, no, no. Please I want you. I really do. I trust you not to hurt me.” I felt like I was over his knees, promising him anything to get him to stop. Only this time it would break my heart if he did stop.
He entered me again and I sighed happily for him. He told me that he loved me a lot and I told him that I loved him too.
I had two more orgasms before he had his.
“That was the best I have ever had. You are the best,” he told me afterwards as I laid on his chest.
“But I didn't do anything. You did all the work.”
“The way you opened your legs for me, did me in. I had to take you then. There was nothing for you to do except raise those wonderful hips to me and you did. Believe me, you are great in bed. I will never sleep with another woman, ever again. You are all that I need. I love you so much.”
We made love all night, so much for his eight hours of sleep rule. In between we ate Christmas cookies and drank milk. We were breaking all the rules now. I teased him that we could run around with scissors later. He told me if we did it naked, he was game for it.
Chapter 10 Safe In His Arms
I woke up still in his arms. I looked at the clock. “Oh, no. I have to be at the hospital in an hour.” I jumped out of bed and headed for the shower.
“Don't worry angel. I'll get you there on time.” He joined me in the shower and took the time to wash my back. He hurried out and I told him where the new toothbrushes w
ere.
“Why do you have so many?” he asked, looking worried.
“I stock up on things when they are on sale, old habits die hard.”
He was happy with my answer. He brushed his teeth and then he helped me out of the shower and towel dried my hair as best he could. I blow dried it and kept an eye on the clock. He was already dressed and he looked so good again that I could hardly believe that he was mine. He was acting so normal, with no mentions of spankings.
“I'm going to get my car. I'll be back in ten minutes. Can you get dressed by yourself?”
I nodded and pulled something out of my closet.
He was looking at me naked. “We'll go out for breakfast afterwards but then I need to sleep with you again or I may just go blind like in that old wives tale.” He laughed at his own joke. “I'll wait downstairs. If you don't come I will think you need help and come up, okay, angel?”
“I'll be there,” I promised him. I smiled at him with so much love.
He came back to me and kissed me. “It hurts me to leave you even if it is just for five minutes. How will I survive it when – ?” He turned away from me and left then.
I got dressed as quick as I could. I got my wallet out of my basket and put it into my purse. I locked my apartment door and hurried down the stairs to him.
He drove up and parked. He opened my door and I sat down. I made sure both my hands were on my lap before he closed the door. He laughed and ran around to get it. He quickly drove me to the hospital.
We parked by my car which had done a good job collecting tickets. He put them all in his pocket. “Don't worry about it. I have a friend at the police station. I will explain it to him. He'll understand.”
We walked in hand in hand. We were a couple now. I was so happy that he loved me back. We had to wait over an hour before the doctor had time for me.
Ryan still didn't know my last name, and I would be called out any second now. He would know then. How would he react? Would he think that it was funny or would he be upset that I hadn't said something sooner?
The doctor came out and got me. He just called me Katherine, like we were old friends. Ryan came in with me and badgered the doctor with all kinds of questions about the rest of my healing process.
I thought it was ended when he asked about typing. The doctor said he realized that it was very important to me but I should take slowly at first. Ryan would take advice like that to heart.
I was just happy to have the brace off. It had been in the way yesterday afternoon and evening. And in the night too.
I told the doctor about the parking tickets and he said to just leave them with him. In cases where a patient can't drive it isn't a problem to have them canceled.
We left and he still didn't know that I had written the book he had reading and dissecting. He drove and I drove behind him. We went to his favorite restaurant. Ryan told me he wanted to show me off. He asked me if we could go grocery shopping again. He wanted to try out my kitchen.
“I think that's a great idea. I can work while you cook, but then I should probably take a break. What could we do that would keep my mind off work, when I need to be resting my hand?”
“I have several ideas. Don't worry. I'll keep you occupied.” I had him grinning down at me.
“Wait, before I forget time and place again. I have something I wanted to ask you.” He didn't say anything so I continued. “You said something this morning about surviving when – and then you didn't finish.” I felt my forehead wrinkle up.
He held my hands in his. “I told you about a project that I was working on. I was accepted or chosen but it still isn't 100 percent. When it is I will tell you everything but it means that I will be gone for a couple of months. Maybe when it is 100 percent you could come and visit me.”
I had to think about that. I too was expected to leave because of the film. They wanted me to be present in the beginning and a few other times. I was honored that they wanted me. I wanted to go. “If you want me to come I will.”
“You will be truly amazed.” He smiled at me. He made me feel like the world's most beautiful woman. I loved him so much.
We practically lived together over the next couple of weeks. We just couldn't get enough of each other. He said because he was keeping a secret from me that I shouldn't tell him what my job was until he told me about his project. Actually being together and him not knowing my last name was more difficult than I thought, but with both of us trying, and having fun with it, it worked.
We celebrated Christmas at my place. He cooked while I did some cleaning. I made myself extra pretty for when we sat down at the table. He also changed into a suit. He looked amazing.
We had agreed on turkey. As he stood carving it, I saw him as the head of our family. I was so in love with him. I was also so afraid that he would be mad when he found out the real reason I had showed up at his door.
We spent our last week together before he had to leave, basically in bed. I still hadn't told him that I would be gone too. I was time to tell him and to buy a cell so I could hang on the phone with him as much as our schedules would let us.
Ryan took it well and he took me out to buy me a phone. He taught me how to use it. He told me that he wanted to hear from me often.
Chapter 11 What Are You Doing Here?
I bawled at the airport as we said our goodbyes. Ryan wouldn't even tell me where his flight was going to. I begged him to call me as soon as he landed. He promised he would. He had tears in his eyes too. I waved as long as I could.
I drove home and ordered a pizza. I packed while I waited for him to call. I was so relieved when he did. He was excited about all the great things that were happening and how nice everyone was. He wanted me to visit soon, then no more secrets. He made me promise to go to bed early and call as soon as I landed and was at my hotel. I promised him I would.
He explained that there were times when he had to shut his cell off because of the project. I should just leave a message and keep on trying. I promised him everything he asked for.
My missing him took my mind off of my worry about the movie. I started to forget about him when I was picked up at the airport by the director personally.
It took a couple of hours until I got to my room. I sat down on the bed and called him right away. I told him that everyone was being nice to me but then I started to cry because it would be a couple of weeks before we could see each other.
I heard that he was in a crowd of people but he moved away from them and told me that it was hard for him too but that we would be together soon. He repeated, 'don't cry, baby' again and again.
We talked for a couple of hours. I just couldn't hang up. In the end he had to take control, and say goodbye and hang up so we could get some sleep. It was good having someone who was assigned to do things like that. Glad it wasn't me.
I woke early, because I was so nervous. I went down to breakfast before most people were even up. I had taken extra pains with my hair and changed my outfit several times. At first I sat all alone and then the director joined me and asked me lots of questions. He asked if I could speak to the actors and tell them about their characters and answer questions.
I agreed willingly. I would love to do that. It would come easy, because of all the practice I had had with Ryan.
Because the weather was good they would be filming outside today. I was so excited. My phone rang and I excused myself. It was Ryan. I went outside in front of the hotel and talked to him for a few minutes. He wished me a good day, and I wished him the same. I was proud of myself that I didn't cry this time.
I went up to my room and read the screenplay for the scene they were going to do today.
I was so nervous that I would probably end up being in the way.
I drove out to where the others had already started. I had tried to call Ryan but his cell was off. I had wanted to hear him say that I would do well, and that he believed in me. I parked and walked the distance to where they were filming.
I walked up to the crew. They were standing around and looking at little screens and discussing lighting. I was given a chair to sit in. This was probably really interesting but I didn't have a clue what it all meant. I couldn't see the actors, but they were filming at the moment and I wasn't allowed to make any noise. I opened my laptop and continued writing on the next book. I hadn't been very good about that lately. I was busy doing things with Ryan, and when he wasn't at my place I cleaned, or wrote, or I was at his place.
The scene was over and a whole crowd of people came over. I closed my laptop and stood up. I looked at the actors and wondered who was who. I looked them over and felt I recognized one. I did a double take. It was Ryan.
He saw me and walked right over to me. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” I asked him back.
“I have the lead role,” he answered.
“I wrote the book.”
We stared at each other shocked for a few seconds until the director called me over. He explained this and that and then I got to watch my boyfriend kissing another girl all day. Seriously have many takes did they need of – that?
I asked the director if the same actors would be acting in the sequel. He said they tried to get the same people if they could. I nodded. I definitely had to rewrite the second book. There were way to many love scenes. It had even gotten worse since Ryan and I had started – Never mind.
The director said they were lucky to get such experienced actors. I hadn't recognized anyone. Damn, I never thought about it, but I should have googled my boyfriend a lot sooner. I'd correct that mistake within the day.
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