When I Fall in Love

by Wendy Lindstrom

  Nancy longed to know whether her departure had provided an opening for Elizabeth’s happiness with Stuart, but she couldn’t write to ask such a question. But she ached to communicate with her family, to apologize for worrying them, to tell them she was well and to assure herself that they, too, were well.

  She pictured her mother, her smile forced as she hosted the ball without one of her girls. A stray tear ran down Nancy’s cheek. Her mother didn’t deserve this. She was a kind and loving mother and Nancy missed her fiercely.

  But there was nothing to be done today to remedy the situation, and so Nancy wiped her eyes and pulled the dress out of her closet. It appeared she’d be wearing the beautiful dress for her birthday after all.

  Nancy slipped her corset on over her chemise and fumbled with the lacing at her back. She had rethreaded her corset ribbon so it would tie at the bottom, instead of the top, so she could dress herself. Giving the ribbon a firm tug, she tightened the corset around her waist. It was the best she could manage without a maid or a husband to assist her.

  After pulling on two underskirts that allowed the dress to flow around her, she carefully pulled the dress over her head. It was a struggle to thread her arms into the sleeves and to tug the gown down over her shoulders without ripping the stitching. But she couldn’t unlace the back of the gown because she would never be able to lace it up again without assistance. The best she’d been able to do was loosen the lacing as much as possible without slipping the ribbon from the loops. It was times like this that made her miss some of the luxuries she’d once taken for granted. Even on her wedding day, she’d had Mary Tucker and Martha Fiske to help her dress. But today she was alone and struggled for several minutes before she finally got the shoulders and waist in place and the voluminous skirts fell to the floor.

  Sighing with relief, Nancy snugged the bodice lacing and then smoothed her hands down the front of her dress. She tugged the lower section of the fitted sleeves down her arms until they circled her wrists. Turning to her dressing mirror, she retrieved a brush from the table and began to brush out her hair. She wanted something stylish and romantic tonight. And she wanted to proudly display the comb that Hal had made for her.

  After brushing out her hair, she left a few curls at each side of her face. She pulled the rest of her hair up in a loose cascade of curls at the back of her head and secured it with pins. Then she added the hair pin last as an elegant touch and because she was proud to be wearing Hal’s thoughtful gift.

  She surveyed the result in the mirror and was pleased. Dressing her hair was another thing she was skilled at. She would forgo a hat this evening and take a parasol so that she could show off her pretty hairpin.

  Feeling her excitement build, she pinched the apples of her cheeks to add a bit of color. Then she picked up the glass bottle of eau de cologne from the bedside stand, removed the decorative stopper and inhaled. The scent of bergamot and lemon oil reminded her of home. Wearing the scent had been part of her daily ablution when she lived at home, but the bottle hadn’t been opened since she left home. Tonight, however, she was going dancing with her husband and she wanted to smell especially nice for him. She replaced the stopper and shook the bottle before dabbing the cologne behind each ear and then, in a most scandalous way, between her breasts. With a quick swipe across each of her wrists, she replaced the stopper and returned the bottle to the dressing table.

  Just one chore remaining before she could deem herself ready. She hurried outside and snatched the two bed quilts off the sagging clothesline. They were dry and they smelled wonderfully fresh. It would be blissful to settle into her comfortable bed after a night of dancing and romance. She took the quilts to her bedroom and made the bed.

  Pleased that she was finally ready for her evening out, she collected her gloves from the dressing table and hurried to the kitchen – and ran right into Hal!

  She stepped back with a gasp as she realized that he had just stepped out of the bath. Her tall, nearly naked husband stood before her with a linen wrapped around his waist. His dark, wet hair was slicked back off his forehead, beads of water collecting on the ends and dripping onto his chest and shoulders and the floor beneath his feet. His muscled chest was glistening with drops of water from his bath. The manly angles of his torso and the sharp ridges of his stomach muscles made Nancy’s heart race. His strong, muscular arms that had so intrigued her each time her husband had rolled up his sleeves flexed as he adjusted the linen more securely around his waist. As her eyes followed a trail of black hair from his chest to where it disappeared beneath the towel, the prospect of sharing a bed with her husband wasn’t just exciting, it was suddenly unnerving.

  She stood frozen in place, her mouth agape.

  Hal’s chuckle snapped her eyes up to his smiling face. He reached out and placed a gentle finger under Nancy’s chin, nudging her mouth closed. “You look absolutely stunning, Nancy.”

  “I... I didn’t realize you were home,” she sputtered. “I was going to add the hot water to your bath.”

  “I managed it myself, but thank you for heating the water for me. As much as I’d like to stand here and feast my eyes on your beauty, I must go dress so we can head out.”

  Mute, Nancy could only nod as Hal left the kitchen. She braced her hand against the wall, sure that her legs would give out from the shock of seeing her husband in such a state of undress. She’d never seen any man in such a state. Gracious, she was a jumble of emotions about what the night ahead would hold for her with her striking husband. She had thought she was ready to cross over the threshold and consummate their marriage, but now that she’d gotten an intimate glimpse of her husband she wasn’t so certain.

  Without clothing he seemed taller, larger, more muscled and… overwhelming.

  Heart thundering, Nancy went to the parlor to sit down. She was literally trembling from the encounter.

  True to his word, Hal dressed quickly and was soon striding into the parlor where Nancy sat trying to get her breath back. She stood as he entered the room and again felt her mouth gape. His black hair, still damp from his bath, was combed back off his forehead and tangled in a loose wave below his collar. His cheeks were scrubbed to a low shine and his jaw was smooth from his recent shave. When she met his eyes, they seemed alive with excitement, with anticipation, and something more. Was he also thinking it was time for them to make this a real marriage? Was it desire rather than anticipation she saw in his eyes?

  He reached for her hand and raised it to his lips. “How is it possible that you are even more stunning than you were on the day we married?”

  His sincerity made her smile. “I was just thinking the same thoughts about you. You are quite dashing this evening, Mr. Grayson.”

  “I’m glad you find me a suitable escort,” he said, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. “Shall we head out?”

  Gloves on, reticule in hand, her parasol waiting by the front door, Nancy gave her gallant husband a warm smile. “Where are we going?”

  “Dancing,” he said, and they both left the house laughing because he refused to share his surprise.

  Outside she came to a halt on the wide stoop, her parasol half opened. Tied in the shade of the red maple tree was a beautiful chestnut colored Morgan harnessed to a sporty phaeton. The sleek black carriage sported four large black wheels and an open top, a welcome attribute on the warm summer evening. The harness jangled as the horse gave an all over shudder to shoo away pestering flies.

  “A horse and carriage, Hal? My curiosity is suddenly as voracious as Captain’s,” Nancy exclaimed, snapping open her parasol and angling it overhead. “Where are you taking me?”

  “Tsk tsk,” he said wearing a self-satisfied grin as he guided her down the steps. “You know what happens to the cat that gets too curious?”

  “Yes, it finds a home, takes over the woodshop, and eats all the table scraps.”

  Warm laughter erupted from Hal. “Not the point I’d intended, but I must concede you are right
on all counts. But don’t get your tail in a twitch, Mrs. Grayson. Your voracious curiosity will soon be satisfied.”

  Nancy twirled her sunshade and faked a pout that made Hal laugh again.

  “Come now, darling, anticipation is half the fun of any worthwhile event.”

  Nancy silently agreed, but anticipation was also creating wild butterflies in her stomach. She had no idea what her husband had in store for the evening, and that left her in a quandary. What if he wanted to take the final step into their marriage? She feared he wouldn’t — and feared he would.

  Needing to distract herself, she walked to the front of the carriage and stopped within the horse’s sight, but didn’t crowd or touch him. “Hello handsome fella,” she said, blowing lightly toward his flared nostrils, knowing he was seeking her scent. Tugging off her glove, she slowly extended her hand and allowed the horse to sniff her fingers. Within seconds he nuzzled her palm.

  “Oh, he’s seeking a treat and I have nothing to give him,” she said, glancing at Hal.

  “I’ve got a couple of treats for him tucked away in this sack,” he said, gesturing to a burlap bag beneath the seat. “I brought a few lumps of sugar and a couple of apples.”

  Her heart melted. “You are such a thoughtful man, Hal.”

  “Don’t give me too much credit,” he said. “William provided the sugar. I added a couple of apples is all.”

  “Well, this fella appreciates your kindness, don’t you?” she asked, feeding the horse a lump of sugar, which he promptly ate.

  Laughing, Nancy patted the horse’s neck. He rewarded her with a nudge of his muzzle.

  “Well, I can see that Gus is already in love with you, but I simply cannot afford to feed and house a horse.” Hal said, his voice teasing. “So the answer is no, we can’t keep him.”

  “That’s too bad, isn’t it, Gus?” She eyed the tall beautifully sculpted horse then looked at Hal. “Where did you get Gus and the carriage?”

  “I made arrangements with William.”

  Oh, are we traveling far?” she asked, scavenging for clues to their destination.

  “I couldn’t have the birthday girl walking tonight, now could I?” Hal extended his hand to Nancy. “Milady, if I may?”

  Nancy actually giggled at his play and his skillful evasion of the question. She placed her hand in his and allowed him to guide her to the side of the carriage as if they were promenading around a ballroom. The carriage sat high above the ground and Hal had to lift her onto the seat. His hands seemed to linger longer than necessary. Her stomach fluttered at the contact but more so at the warm look in his eyes. She settled on the black cushioned seat and tucked her yards of skirts in around her legs.

  Hal circled around and climbed in beside her. With a wink at her, he took up the reins, clicked his tongue and gently encouraged Gus to cart them out of the driveway.

  Gus seemed to be enjoying the outing as much as Nancy was. Instead of heading into the village, they went the opposite direction. They traveled out Liberty Street and turned right onto a road Nancy had never before traveled. A few minutes later Hal turned the sporty phaeton left onto Shumla Road, a place of green fields tucked between heavily wooded areas. The road followed a creek that Nancy could hear but rarely see. The steady clip clop of Gus’s hooves and the jangle of the harness mingled with the crunching sound of the large wheels upon the dirt road. Nancy drank in the rhythmic sounds and the fresh scent of pine and grass. The outing felt positively wonderful and she sat proudly beside her husband, momentarily overcome by her good fortune.

  She’d come from wealth, but there were so many other treasures in life that filled her soul: A carriage ride on a summer evening, the rich aroma of a morning pot of coffee percolating in her kitchen, the feel of Captain’s warm little body curled in her arms, the sound of her husband’s laugh, the spontaneous joy of tumbling into the creek with her playful husband on a hot summer day. She had all of this and more with Hal... because of Hal.

  She turned her eyes to her husband and she found him looking at her.

  “You seem to be enjoying the ride,” he said, his voice quiet as if he didn’t want to intrude upon the peaceful setting.

  “I feel ten pounds lighter out here,” she said. “I wish we could take a drive or a walk every evening.”

  He nodded. “We’ll be able to do more of this when I can hire a man at the mill.”

  “Hopefully that will be soon. The furniture you build and the carving you do is stunning, Hal. I wish you could work at that full-time.”

  “I used to wish that as well, but ironically the mill has begun to grow on me. I’m beginning to understand what John had loved about it. Don’t mistake me, I’ll never walk away from woodworking, but I plan to find a way balance both. Either trade will make a good business for our sons one day.”

  The fluttering in her stomach started again. The idea of having children with Hal was feeling more possible each day. And despite her mixed emotions about crossing that intimate threshold, she found she was eager to have a child. She could imagine their round-cheeked infants with dark-hair and bright eyes. They would become gangly teens and grow into tall, strong men like their father. Hal would teach their sons about honor and integrity, and she would teach them about love. Perhaps their sons would inherit Hal’s talent with woodworking or her love for music. There were so many possibilities and she felt hopeful for the future of her family.

  She lifted her face to the refreshing breeze and embraced the moment. The days were becoming humid and sometimes stifling. But tonight the air was lovely and she closed her eyes for a moment and allowed the breeze to blow across her face.

  Hal chuckled. “You aren’t napping, are you?”

  She smiled and met his eyes. “I’m trying to distract myself so I don’t ask you where we’re going.”

  Hal laughed. “I’ll help distract you by asking what you wish for your birthday.”

  “I wish you would tell me where we’re going.”

  He looked at her with sparkling eyes and the warmest smile. “Your persistence is adorable. Other than wishing to appease your curiosity, is there anything you want for your birthday that I might be able to give you? This is your first birthday away from your family and I know you miss them. I’d just hoped to make the day a little less sad for you.”

  An upwelling of tenderness filled her and she placed her hand over his forearm. “Thank you. I am a little sad and homesick on and off today, but I’m truly glad to be here... with you, and that makes me happy. Today was to be my debut ball with Elizabeth and I’m sorry she must attend alone. But I’m not at all sorry to be free of the arrangement with Stuart. I can’t help but wonder if Elizabeth has been able to convince my father to allow Stuart to court her, or if she’s still stuck in a dreadful arrangement with Robert.”

  “You should write home and ask Elizabeth about all of this, and let them know that you’re safe and that you’ve married a dashing artist and are blissfully happy.”

  Nancy laughed at Hal’s witty use of her words to describe himself in such a fanciful light. “Perhaps I will write home,” she said, but she knew she wouldn’t. Not yet anyhow. Maybe when enough time passed Hal wouldn’t be so angry or hate her father so deeply and she could tell him the truth without him also hating her. She couldn’t forget the anger in his voice when he described her father’s role in repossessing his own father’s mill. It seemed unlikely that Hal would ever see her father in a kind light, or that he’d ever forgive her for lying about her identity if he learned she was Lloyd Tremont’s daughter.

  “All right then,” he said. “This is your birthday and we’re going to celebrate and have our own fun tonight.”

  His declaration turned her thoughts back to the here and now and the dashing, wonderful man at her side.

  “We have arrived,” he said, turning up a long drive towards a huge gambrel roofed barn that reminded her of her stables back home in Buffalo. As they approached, she noticed a number of other wagons and carriag
es parked along the drive and several men in their Sunday best and ladies with parasols and pretty dresses milling about outside the barn.

  Four sets of double barn doors were thrown wide, leaving the majority of one barn wall open to the outside. Lanterns were strung across the inside of the barn, illuminating thick rafters overhead and benches that lined the inside perimeter of the barn. Another gathering of people inside captured her attention. Men in dark suits and ladies in all manner of colorful dresses milled about. There must be twenty couples or more visiting with one another.

  Nancy glanced at her husband, surprised and confused by the sight. “I thought we were going dancing this evening, but this is a... a barn, not a ballroom or a public hall.”

  Hal laughed and parked their carriage under a sprawling oak just off the drive. “We shall be dining and dancing right here.”

  “In a barn?” she asked. She’d never heard of such a thing.

  “That’s right. You’ll need to hike up your skirts to keep them free of manure.”

  “What!”

  Hal laughed so hard it bent him double and drew curious looks from the men and ladies gathered outside on the lawn.

  Nancy angled her parasol to hide herself from their inspection. “Are you jesting with me, Hal?”

  “About dancing in the barn? No.” He wiped his eyes and grinned at her. “About dancing in manure? Yes. The barn is used for wood storage or for occasional barn dances, so there’s no chance of soiling your lovely dress, darling.” He stepped down and secured the reins to the oak and then reached up to assist Nancy. “Come on down and see how us common folk live.”