My Heart Belongs To...: A Novel of Age Play

by R. Greco

  The tat kept me spinning to of course.

  I so needed this night with Jack. I just hoped wherever he was leading me right then from down his apartment’s hallway that I could keep from running into the bathroom and checking my ass too often.

  2

  “We haven’t been here in years,” Lisa said lifting her wine glass with some sunshine into my line of vision.

  She was right; she and I hadn’t been to this particular café in at least two years. Seeing as the place was a town away from where we lived, I couldn’t much get my mind around why we hadn’t lifted more glasses at this whitewashed outdoor eatery, but then again I realized the reason was part and parcel with the eight hundred pound gorilla on the patio with us this Saturday.

  I feared I was getting into one of those months where I wouldn’t soon get back to eating right. Jon and I hadn’t watched our diets to be sure and after he left I had been out more than in; with Jack, staying late two nights at work and calling in for food with my assistant. Today with Lisa was going to put the death-knell to any hope I had had for righting my intake, but my shitty diet paled in comparison to the concern I had sitting across from my best friend then.

  Somewhere in all the fiddle and folderol that I had been through with Jon the past two months I had come to learn a few things about Lisa that I wasn’t so sure I liked and suspected was pulling us further apart. I don’t know if these were little heat blooms of ideas I had felt warming me prior to meeting Jon and I had kept buried, nor did I know what or how Jon’s introduction into my life might have been bringing these concerns to the fore, but I sensed that as much as Lisa seemed to like Jon (she had certainly been glad that Bill and Jon got along like a house on fire) there was a definite jealousy I felt coming off her where my east-coast man was concerned.

  To be sure, and this simple fact was not something I’d admit to often – or at all – but for all intents and purposes I was the coolest girl in the room when I was in the room with my friends. I hated how that conceit echoed round my skull when I said it to myself, but it was true. I was the most popular amongst my friends.

  I had been when I was married, I was before, I was now.

  You damn well know when you are the social maven or master, whichever the case may be. You realize that if an outing is planned and you don’t show the wind goes out of everyone’s sails as much as they are full up flapping in the wind if you happen along. There are just some people in a group who are the rock-stars and everyone just feels a little but better with them in the group.

  The thing then, if you wield that kind of cool, is not to let it go to your head or exploit it.

  This was one of the things about Jon that I liked so much and tickled me wet every time I thought about how confident a man he was dealing with my status. I had as much told him about my world the weekend we had first met and I could see he understood pretty much from experience (I would later learn he was more or less the popular guy amongst his group) that I did not really regard of myself with conceit as I did humbleness with how I treated my friends ... even though I knew if I wanted to I could treat them like shit and they would still return hoping to curry favor with me again and again. What got to me about Jon was that he not only understood what I was saying and that what I was saying was the truth, but he also had no care in his dominance of me to try and take me down a peg from my status. His dom play with me had nothing to do with wanting to make me feel lesser because I usually felt greater (and truthfully I didn’t walk around feeling any better than anyone else, I just accepted that I was the ring-leader for my little enclave and left it at that). Jon understood that above anything else, beyond what my friends thought of me, I saw myself really as one of the girls.

  But back to Lisa here and her reaching out tighter the past month ... even before that.

  Jon just added icing to a cake of her not being able to keep up with me, control me; even at times understand me. And ironically out of all of us she was the one spinning pretty far out of orbit I thought, living with a guy who adored her, had been her husband these past nine years but stepping-out on Bill with a guy ten years her junior!

  Why we hadn’t done this kind of a luncheon in such a long time was because simply I hadn’t wanted to be around my BFF. The clutching was kind of getting to me, the beat-around-the-bush questions about where I had been lately and the implication that if I had no real good specific plans why the hell I hadn’t been calling her.

  “So he got back to Jousey, ok?” she said, chuckling so deep she nearly spilled her wine.

  Why was it everything this big blonde did these days annoyed me? The chuckling over ‘Jousey’ would have made me laugh had it come from anybody else.

  I shivered it away, took a nice long drought then smiled at her.

  “Yeah, I miss him already.”

  A bon mot like that would give Lisa enough to chew for the rest of the meal, and truth be told I did miss Jon. I resisted the urge to get up, turn around and bare my ass to my best bud though.

  “He is definitely cute as the Dickens,” ok, maybe I could stand her through lunch, “cute little ass on him to.”

  I wasn’t going to argue, seeing as I had seen it naked.

  I couldn’t be sure if she was simply trying to butter me up, if the wine was getting to her – we were on our second half a glass – or if Lisa was being sincere. I did know a lunch like this was a long time coming for my best friend and I and if I minded my p’s and q’s here, didn’t get too buzzed in the sunshine, rich food and drink Lisa would get all the affirmation she obviously needed from me. But did I have the energy to placate her? I had a sudden flash of how wild it would have been if Lisa was gay or at least bi-curious like our buddy Terri was. I was of half a mind to give Terri a call when Lisa and I were done here and take some aggression out on her ass.

  But I still had to get through this lunch.

  “I really realize now much I dig him, ya know?”

  “Yeah, makes sense, he was out here for a few.”

  Ok, I could settle into this with her I thought but then Lisa chugged her second glass and looked hard across the table at me. I suddenly rationalized having some fun with my best friend; she’d enjoy being let into my confidence, as I would prodding her sensibilities with some salacious information. The time seemed right, we were sharing a lunch here, getting loose with the wine and as always with any mention of Jon I grew quite dewy in my panties.

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, with him gone I can finally heal.”

  I let that little tidbit fall on the table just as our waiter appeared with our salads.

  I looked up slightly from retrieving my fork to see the reaction on Lisa’s face. To her credit she had placed her wide glass down ever so slowly and hadn’t really raised a thick sandy eyebrow as she was want to do when she was surprised.

  “Purty hot times?” she chirped, digging into her own salad.

  “Yeah, pretty perverse, and you know with me that’s saying a lot.”

  Lisa really didn’t know about my past. I might have made passing remarks but she had no idea of my true penchant for kink or that I had dabbled as much with women as men prior to my marriage or that I had taken recent liberties in regard with Terri.

  I decided to continue as we both crunched what was turning out to be quite a delicious spring mix.

  “Jon’s more than a little dom. I mean you wouldn’t know it when you meet him, he’s not sporting a whip or putting me into a collar or anything like that, but he’s quite the master in the bedroom.”

  “Oh Kay, really?”

  I read more disappointment in Lisa’s face in me allowing this sexual behavior then Jon pushing for it. Into my salad I dove. I didn’t have to look up to see the wheels spinning and Lisa loosing respect for me by the second. She wasn’t really doing much in her extra-curricular cheating then simply having sex with her younger boy-toy and I knew that the very last thing she wanted was confirmation from me that I would even entertain anything like I
was then slowly revealing. But she had asked, I was tickled pink I could taunt her and it felt good to admit a little of my naughtiness, the heart tattoo beating like a hot poker prompt in my cheek making me do so. I felt slightly sad it had come to this point between us and I seriously considered blowing the doors off of our suburban style but decided instead of spitting out details, flashing the tat to her in the car on the way home that as a last act of kindness for what would be probably the last time she and I would have a sit down like this – you could just hear the chasm opening wider between us – I’d lift my full attention on her and bade her regale me her staid sexcapades with Steve.

  “So, you tell me ... “ I tittered, after another sip of what was turning out to be a rather good white wine, “give me some details girl.”

  It was as if a sun bolt shone atop my soon-to-be-ex best friend. She managed what I had always considered a rather winning full-lipped smile across the table and began to tell me about her sex life with Steve in rather graphic detail as I stared, smiled, sipped, ate and didn’t listen at all.

  3

  As if I needed any reminder on how my perspective was changing, not only with Lisa but to my entire world, I was adopting quite the different pose right then. Fred had called the very night of the day of my lunch with Lisa, feigning a catching-up we both knew belied his need to have me come over and attend he and Joel. It had been a while now for ‘the boys’ and I and truth be told I wasn’t so sure how I felt about being their dom right then. It wasn’t so much that the idea didn’t still tickle me you-know-where or that I wouldn’t enjoy the attentions of two well-hung men rubbing my feet and pouring me wine – or at the very least watching them suck one another off – I was just feeling different to the kink and how we played it lately, even though I hadn’t played with them lately.

  So there I was sitting on Fred’s comfy couch Monday night, undulating to get a good position in my grey A-line skirt, monster heels off and toes being sucked and shined by Joel, topless with Fred massaging my shoulders and breasts while I sipped a glass of rather spectacular red. I was both there and not there, a mute realization attending me as much as the fact that neither of these guys ever usually really touched me, that I was bare-breasted before them – something I hardly, if ever allowed – and was as aroused by the attention as I was put off by it.

  My tattoo pulsated.

  Ok, it wasn’t really pulsating but like some erotic familiar I was aware of sitting on my ample fanny and it wasn’t because my skirt was tight or that Fred’s fingers were fanning down to my nipples just then and I could feel his massive hard-on poking the high back of the futon as he stood behind me. It seemed as though my heart talisman had been speaking to me from Jack’s bathroom, during my lunch with Lisa to right here right now with the guys prodding me to consider what I wanted and how it clashed with what I was getting. Somewhere deep I was coddling not only a new awareness of myself – that seemed to have begun with Jon’s visit, and the time I took doming him, to both our surprise – but a new sense of self-worth. I always had a pretty high opinion of myself (Jon would never had been able to dom me like he did had I not had one) but now I was thinking more about myself very highly indeed and it was a conceit I seemed to be coddling well.

  “You seem so far away,” Fred said from someplace so far above me it sounded as though his deep voice was echoing down from some mountain height.

  I kept my eyes closed and just “hmmmed” him, while I felt Joel once again lift my big toe to the inside of his right thigh, feeling his hard-on hammer the side of my foot and he grew even more enthusiastic about massaging my other for. I wanted to look down at him as much as dip my head back to see Fred’s tight stomach short hairs.

  “So assured, so stilled,” the handsome man continued, his hand then pretty well down across my full breasts, kneading me to a nice warmth I certainly felt stilled about but not so aroused I’d want his hands anywhere else.

  Out of the two Fred was not only the more dominant partner he was also the more verbose; Joel kept his thoughts pretty much in his curly-haired head. Around these two I almost always gave off an air of authority, sometimes indifference or at the very least a passing humor to what they performed for me, but now, as Fred was opining, I was at an altogether different place. Part of me wanted to suddenly stand, wiggle down my skirt, expose my garter and stocking set, bare ass and pussy under them and model my tat for them, maybe have them both kneel behind me and kiss it. Another part of me wanted to stay right where I was and make them continue to attend me as they either grew more aroused or less – neither reaction I truly cared about – and yet another part of me wanted to be free of this well-appointed over-priced loft apartment, spirit out of Fred and Joel’s naked clutches, leave them with their hard-ons and wonder of why I had suddenly left.

  And all of this was because of Jon in my life.

  Jon had called now every day since leaving. We hadn’t talked sex, we hadn’t flirted; neither of us had touched ourselves for the other and breathed heavy even. We didn’t need to, I realized. If Jon was feeling half as rooted and peaceful as I was, half as confident, he must have been literally floating in air over there three thousand miles away from me; I knew I was. This wasn’t that glowing feeling you get from love – I had yet to weigh – in a rationalization if I indeed loved Jon or not – no, what I was feeling now was an empowerment because of what Jon had put me through, what I had allowed, what I had done to him and the lasting impression – not just the actual impression on my ass – but the lasting impression we had left on one another.

  Not until the last spate of phone calls would I have even assumed the guy felt like I did, Jon was a pretty crafty confident character before, but for sure lately I heard something in his voice beyond his usual swagger. It wasn’t a conceit really, but more like contentment. Maybe contentment he had turned me out – certainly over! – and I was now all the better for it, shining from it, full and happy. Maybe contentment over the fact we were linked in a way most people never truly get to experience or maybe contentment over my contentment. I really didn’t know, but I knew I was feeling mighty peaceful, so much so I looked over and up and Fred who momentarily stilled his big hands on my tits.

  “I’d like you to do that with me completely naked.”

  Knowing their place and probably more than a little shocked I had made the suggestion, Joel sat back, Fred came off me and I stood, smiled at them both, than wiggled down my skirt with little shuck and effort. As I have mentioned, the amount of my booty these guys had seen I could count on one hand – if my hand happened to have three fingers – so baring all for them was not our usual, but I stood back up, my shaved mound just about in Joel’s face, my round ass in Fred’s. I sat back down, spread my legs wide and closed my eyes to feel not see exactly where and what these two would be cued now to do.

  “Kay, you are amazing.” Fred said as I felt his hands begin to knead my tits again.

  Bouncing my ass on the futon I more or less bade Joel to get his mouth on my puss-puss and I felt him do just that after what was maybe only ten seconds of his boyfriend working me. Instantly I felt a clutch of an orgasm roiling up through me and made no attempt to hide my pleasure. To his credit, the man between my legs had a powerful tongue and though Joel ate me slightly more tentatively then I would have liked, he did manage some terrible teasing flicks of his tongue across what I imagined would just have to be my engorged clit at this point and Fred actually began to moan as he worked my nipples through his fingers. Once again I shifted and shucked as I felt the impending explosion.

  The sensations were perfect, the very idea that two bi men were working on me at once a heady concept indeed, and the picture in my mind’s eye of me lying there in only garter, stockings receiving the attentions of two handsome men, one black, one white worked on me as much as Joel’s mouth and Fred’s hands. A “Yes” escaped my lips as I began to shake and Joel – bless his acumen – pushed his face in slightly, Fred all but pulled at my nipples a
nd I came deep and hard for my friends rubbing the heart into the couch as furiously as I could.

  Somehow Joel was managing a real strong purchase as I writhed and realized these two guys were going to stay locked on me until I orgasm again. As any good girl knows there is eating pussy and there is EATING pussy ... let’s just say Joel was doing the ladder and if he had any idea about the former I’d never had known it. I used to joke with my girlfriends that the second I meet any new potential boyfriend I should immediately put him on a nightly regiment of single serving pudding cups, making him eat them ‘til finished, never using a spoon or his fingers. By simply burying his face deep into a shallow cup, lapping and licking all that pudding goodness until it is gone a guy could really amp-up his skill for eating pussy.

  Whether Joel like pudding, hadn’t been ‘down on the muffin’ in a while (though his girlfriend always struck me as quite satisfied) or liked the way I tasted (or all three) he was up and at me like a champion. Had I not been so aroused I would have maybe chuckled at the irony that the man at my feet and the man behind me massaging my tits were lovers and it was my place in the proceedings to force these two guys to suck, fuck and finger one another for their delight more than mine. That things had flipped here would have been slightly unnerving had I not been pretty much half-crazed the second I walked into Fred’s loft, that tickling heat of my henna tat pushing me to act here with this duo in a way I had never done.