by Emma Quinn
“I’m only in my second year,” she teased. “So I don’t need to think about it yet. But when I do I’ll probably do something behind the camera. I imagine I’ll have to start as one of those runner people, but I eventually want to work up to something important. Ideally a camera operator.”
I ran my eyes over her stunning features, thinking that it was a shame for her to be hidden behind the scenes. Clearly she didn’t realize it, but Faye had a striking, eye catching beauty that not many people did. I would watch absolutely anything with her in it.
“You would be better on the other side of the camera,” I said much too honestly. “Haven’t you ever thought about acting or modelling, something like that?”
Her cheeks flamed an adorable color of red and she averted her eyes away from me, looking embarrassed. “I used to want to be an actress, but I don’t think I could. You’re being very kind, but I definitely don’t have the looks, or the confidence either. I don’t think I could do it.”
I pushed myself up on the bed and stared at her in dismay. “Oh my goodness, you really should. Doesn’t the drama club do loads of plays? You should be in one of them.”
“No, no, no.” She shook her head rapidly. “That isn’t ever going to happen. I can’t.”
I looked at Faye with a new sense of admiration for her. She had much more going for her than she realized, and I wanted to be the one to help her come out of her shell. I didn’t know how I would do it, but she’d helped me today so somehow I would totally help her to gain all the confidence that she needed. Maybe she would still want to be behind the camera, but I wanted her to have her moment in the spotlight too. Just so she could see what her life could be.
8
Faye
A
fter finally getting the interview with Angelo nailed, I got some footage of him practicing out on the field with the rest of his team mates. It was okay, I suppose, it wasn’t the most boring thing that I’d ever had to watch in the world, but I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to watch it on YouTube. What sort of people cared enough to watch more than even the real games? It was insane.
I had a little bit of an issue as well, one that was very embarrassing. Without even meaning to, the camera kept floating over to Kevin because I couldn’t help wanting to look at him. He had a strong, muscular body that I really wanted to rub my hands all over. I needed to kiss him, to be in his arms, to feel what it was like to be truly desired. Even thinking about it had powerful butterflies flapping around in my stomach. It excited me in ways that needed satisfying, it was utterly insane.
“Hey!” All of a sudden I heard a voice in my ear which made me jump. “What ya doing? I thought you were supposed to only be filming me. What’s going on here?”
An intense heat burned in my body and I felt utterly humiliated. I couldn’t believe that I’d been caught by Angelo filming Kevin. He would freak the hell out. I didn’t know how to get out of it either, I’d been caught red handed. I could see it in Angelo’s eyes.
“Oh, well I don’t… I was trying to get some shots of all the team for… for…”
“Kevin isn’t all the team.” He sat beside me and shook his head knowingly. “You like him?” I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t need to. “Come on, you know that you can tell me anything. We’re friends now, aren’t we? We’ve shared all kinds of shit. You can tell me anything now.”
“Huh, I suppose that’s right.” Wow, it felt good to know that Angelo considered me a friend. I liked that, he wasn’t ever the sort of person that I would have considered for friendship before, but that was okay. A big part of what I wanted to do was getting to know all kinds of people. “Well, yeah, I have kind of liked Kevin for a long time. I don’t know, it’s stupid, he wouldn’t ever like me…”
“What the hell are you on about?” Angelo pinched my arm playfully. “You are gorgeous. Of course he would like to be with you. Don’t put yourself down like that.” He ran his eyes up and down my body and I could see a bit of criticism there. “Although you could dress to highlight your assets more. I don’t want to be that guy, but there are so many chicks in this college who throw themselves at him. You need to make yourself stand out even more than them if you want to catch his eye.”
I wasn’t ever the sort of girl to change myself for a man, but there was a big part of me that had been wanting to change my look for a very long time. The oversized sweaters were getting a bit old. As I grew up, I wanted to try and show myself off a bit, but I didn’t have the confidence to do so.
“I don’t know…” I gave him a one shouldered shrug. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
Angelo took his cell phone out of his pocket and he gave me a self satisfied smile. “I’m going to call my sister. She’s excellent at this sort of thing. She’s a fashion student at the community college nearby and I just know that you’ll love her. She will find you something perfect.”
He pushed his cell up to his ear, making me panic. He wasn’t making this call now, was he? He couldn’t force me into this now. I wasn’t sure that I was ready.
“No, what are you doing?” I clutched onto his arm. “You aren’t calling now?”
But he was. “We’re going shopping. Don’t you worry about it, it’s going to be fine.”
I glanced over at Kevin again, watching a gaggle of girls surround him. Angelo was right, I did need to change myself up if I wanted to get some action. I didn’t want to remain in my pit of heart ache of Tyler. He was gone now, it was done, it was time to move on.
“I suppose this couldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I do need to confidence to speak to him.” The idea right now made me want to vomit. I needed to recover before I spent my time filming Kevin. I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. “Okay, I’ll give, let’s do it.”
Angelo finished his conversation and he hung up the phone. “Yep, Maddie is on board with this. She’s more than happy. She wants to help you bring your confidence out.”
I sighed loudly and nodded. This was it, I wasn’t expecting it but now it was happening. I was about to become a brand new version of myself… maybe.
I twisted my body from side to side as I examined my expression. “I don’t know about this, Maddie,” I told her cautiously. “Are you sure about this? It’s a bit tight, isn’t it?”
Maddie laughed out a booming sound that I’d gotten used to throughout the day. She was a lot like Angelo, all warm hearted and fun loving, and I really enjoyed her company. If she was in college with me I would seriously want to be her friend… but she was probably much too cool for me. She would probably hang out with the cheerleaders and the other popular crowd.
“It isn’t tight… or at least not too tight. You look really sexy.” She clutched her hands to my hips and span my around. “Look at you, you look absolutely amazing. You have an incredible figure of.” She looked towards Angelo who grinned back at her. “I’m jealous of you, actually.”
“What?” She was stunning and had the most wonderful curves that I’d ever seen. “Are you kidding, Maddie? You’re gorgeous. I would love to look like you.”
She placed her hands on her hips and swayed from side to side. “You could look like this too if you dressed better. I mean… sorry, not better, that’s a horrible thing to stay. I mean, if you dress to accentuate your features. You have these amazing breasts and a gorgeous stomach, and legs to die for.” Her words warmed me up, I felt great under the weight of them. “You’re beautiful.”
I gave Angelo a look, wondering if he’d told his sister to be overly nice to me to give me some confidence, but his expression was one of pure innocence. It seemed that Maddie was saying all of this of her own accord, which made the compliments even more meaningful.
As I looked back in the mirror, I realized that I was standing up straighter, that my shoulders had rolled back, I had the appearance of someone who was more than ready to face the world.
“I think you should get this outfit and also the leather skirt.”
“Leather skirt? No way, we only tried that as a joke, didn’t we?” Panic bit into my stomach. I clutched onto myself as I tried to stop myself from throwing up. “I can’t actually own that.”
“Sure you can.” Maddie rolled her eyes at me. “You can wear it with a plain tee shirt so it doesn’t look slutty or anything. It’ll just be sexy. You look really sexy in it.”
I hadn’t ever been told that I was sexy before, and I liked the way that it made me feel. Of course I would always prioritize my brains over my looks, I wasn’t about to become one of those girls. But at the same time, it was hard to ignore how good it made me feel to be told that. It was wonderful to feel beautiful. I tucked my red hair behind my ears and smiled at my reflection.
“And I also think you need to buy the red outfit too…”
Maddie was losing control of herself and I liked her so much that I was actually willing to just let her. With my credit card too. I nodded and allowed her to get whatever she thought was right for me. She seemed to know a whole lot more about fashion than me so it was worth a try.
“You did look really beautiful in the leather skirt,” Angelo told me with a smirk as Maddie disappeared from view. “Kevin will one hundred percent notice you in it.” He stepped closer to me and touched my arm gently. “Kevin won’t be the only one to see you now as well.”
My breath caught in my throat as I looked up at Angelo. We were getting ever closer by the moment and I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. Sometimes it was completely normal and our friendship felt like the most natural thing in the world, and there were other times like this when it felt a little off. Like there was something more to it that I didn’t yet understand.
“Thank you for doing this for me,” I told him with utter seriousness. “I appreciate it.”
“Oh well I didn’t really do anything, it was Maddie, but you’re more than welcome.”
Something thick clung to the air, winding around me and Angelo and binding us closer together. For a brief moment it felt like we were the only two people on the planet and there was something about that sensation that I oddly liked. I edged into him a little bit, brushing my skin against his. I almost even pushed myself up onto my tiptoes to press my lips to his…
“Hey, Faye!” All of a sudden Maddie’s voice interrupted us, making me and Angelo leap apart as if we’d been electrocuted. My heart thundered in my chest, pulsing in my mouth, almost making me fall apart. “Come and see this, you’ll love it. It’ll look fantastic on you.”
I stared up at Angelo for a brief second longer but he’d disconnected from me. There was nothing but a blankness behind his eyes that shut me down completely too. We’d had a brief second of… something, but now it was done and if I wanted to remain friends with Angelo I had to forget about what had just happened. I had to pretend that it wasn’t even real.
“Right, I’ll just go and see what Maddie wants,” I mumbled. “I’ll see you in a moment.”
I would just focus on getting the videos of Angelo up on the Internet and keep us as just friends. That was a whole lot easier than anything else. I mean, I didn’t even like him like that, it was Kevin that I liked. I’d had a crush on him for what felt like forever, that wasn’t going to just change now.
“Yep. See you in a bit. I’ll go and wait out in the car for you and Maddie. Is that cool?”
Urgh, there was a chasm of distance between us, it killed me. I nodded awkwardly, wishing that we could go back to the easy going nature that we had beforehand. I didn’t want that strange moment to tear that apart, I’d just gotten used to having Angelo in my life, I didn’t want him to go.
“Look at this dress!” Maddie exclaimed, having no idea what had happened just a moment before. “I think this will look so damn hot on you. You have to get it.”
“Yep, sure whatever.” I barely even looked at it, it didn’t matter what it looked like, I just needed to leave now. “Let’s get that one more and get back if that’s okay. I need to get back on campus.”
9
Angelo
L
eaving the shopping trip abruptly was stupid, but I didn’t see any other choice at the time. For a brief moment something had been odd between me and Faye and I didn’t know what to do with that feeling. I couldn’t like her, that was crazy. Not only did I not like anyone like that, not for a long term thing anyway, but I couldn’t with Faye. She wasn’t the sort of girl that was right for me, she wasn’t the sort of person who I ever spent romantic time with before, and most of all she didn’t like me.
She liked Kevin, a thought that made me feel ill these days.
“So what the hell is the deal with you and Faye the hottie?” Maddie asked me teasingly as soon as she hopped out the car and she left us by ourselves. “There’s a lot of chemistry there. Please don’t tell me you’re the one making her dress in a certain way because I will kick you ass for it.”
“Are you serious? I’m offended that you would even think that.” I rolled my eyes at her. “I like the way she looked before. But only in a friend way anyway, she’s more into Kevin.”
“Urgh, the guy from your team?” Maddie knew everyone because she’d joined me at college parties from time to time. “But he’s an asshole. Does she know that?”
I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what she knows, but she likes him. That’s why I brought her shopping today to help build up her confidence. I mean, not just for Kevin but for other things too. She’s always behind the camera and I think she wants to be in front of it as well. I’m trying to convince her to start acting for the drama club or something. I don’t know…”
“Angelo, for goodness sake you like this girl. You do realize that, right?” I pursed my lips together, unable to answer that remark. If she’d said it any time before what just happened then I would’ve instantly shot back with a negative reply, but there was definitely something between us and I didn’t know what it was. “You should probably just tell her already, before Kevin gets in the picture. I mean, I’m not suggesting that they’ll end up in great romance, I think he will break poor fragile Faye’s heart and she’ll be far too upset to ever think about dating anyone again.”
Maddie’s wise words stick in my throat, but still I don’t know how to act upon them. Even if I think about going to speak to her, to see what there could be between us it makes me panic.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sure I’ll be bored of her soon enough, just like I always am. You know me, Maddie, I’m not the sort of guy to settle down now, am I?”
“I guess you’re definitely the person that I would avoid personally, but this is different, Angelo. You like her. I don’t think Faye is the sort of girl you just want to mess around with.”
I paused for a second, allowing this to wash over me, but I stopped myself at the very last moment. “No, it’s too late for me to actually like someone,” I insist. “I can’t. I’ll be finishing college soon, and then who knows where I’m going to end up. I can’t have any attachment to anything.”
“Is this really what this is about?” Maddie stares at me knowingly.
“I guess not.” I sighed loudly. She could always see me better than anyone else could, I guess she had the advantage of growing up with me to know who I truly was. “It’s also that I don’t trust anyone. I know that people talk about me and they think I’m going to go far, and I’m scared that people will just want to attach themselves to me for that reason alone.”
Maddie didn’t say anything for a while, we just walked alongside each other as we got towards my dorm room. I could tell that she was deep in thought and I didn’t want to interrupt. If she was about to come up with some big revelation that changed everything then I really needed to hear it.
“Do you know how arrogant that sounds?” Maddie finally blurted out, tossing her hands in the air in utter dismay at me. “I mean, you’re my big brother, you have eighteen months on me, but sometimes you’re dumb as shit and it makes me sad. What sor
t of bitches are you hanging out with if you think they just want you for your popularity? If there’s any truth to that then you need to get yourself some more friends. And I can tell you one thing for sure. Faye is not like that all.”
Guilt washed over me as Maddie said that. Maybe she was right. To be fair my sister was normally the one to ground me when I got a bit too big for my boots. Clearly from her reaction this was just another moment like that. I felt like shit as I realized what an idiot I was.
“Sorry, Maddie, I didn’t mean to sound like a prick then, I’m probably just making excuses.”
“Yeah, maybe. Or maybe you’ve been a big fish in a small pond for far too long. That’s not going to be the case forever, you aren’t going to always be the big shot. I think you assume that the world is always going to be easy for you, and that what you want will fall at your feet but it won’t. You need to work to get far, you need to actually put in some effort, and don’t you forget it.”
That was something that Maddie had locked away for a long time, I could tell by the way it spilled out of her mouth in a conversation that wasn’t actually anything to do with my future in the sense of a career… but she was right. I did need to get my head out my ass and actually push.
The YouTube channel would only get me so far, it wasn’t going to be the answer to everything.
Maybe it would suit me better to think about that rather than to worry about girls, Faye, and even what would happen with her and Kevin. That was their business, not mine.
“So, now you’re just going to film me eating?” I teased Faye, unable to keep the playful tone out of my voice. “That’s real interesting, I’m sure. Look, here is a banana.”
“We’ve done everything else,” Faye replied with a chuckle. “I’m running out of ideas and people might want to know more about your diet. I can’t interview you again, I can’t show you training, I certainly can’t film you walking down the hallway anymore, and you haven’t been to many parties because you’ve turned into a massive bore these days. What the hell else am I supposed to do?”