by Maya Banks
Being someone who stood in the light, standing for what was right, Evangeline might not have been able, in good conscience, to allow Drake to go unpunished for his deeds. And wasn’t her innate goodness, her sweetness, what he adored most about her? What had drawn her to him in the first place? And now he was punishing her for those very qualities.
Silas swore viciously. “Jesus Christ, Drake. You’re fucking miserable. She’s fucking miserable. Why the hell are you doing this to both of you? Is it pride? Because if so, I’m calling bullshit right now. Evangeline sure as hell didn’t let pride stop her when she was on her knees begging you to believe in her.”
Every word was like a poisoned dart aimed with precision and accuracy. His lips parted, the question hovering on his lips, begging to be asked, to be set free. He could feel his will crumbling, his pride preparing to take a beating.
“Do you really think she had nothing to do with it?” Drake asked, for the first time allowing doubt to creep into his voice.
Before Silas could respond, his doors burst open and his men swarmed in, their expressions thunderous. Fury coiled, whipping and snapping like an electrical charge surging through the air.
“Not now, goddamn it!” Drake roared, unleashing his pent-up rage and sense of helplessness at them. “Get the fuck out of my office and don’t return until I’ve damn well called for you.”
Not now. Not when he needed answers from Silas. Cold logic, unimpeded by emotion. He looked to Silas for understanding and backup, but he got neither from his enforcer.
A man—Hatcher?—was shoved forward, causing him to stumble and fall to his knees. He had a bruise already forming around one eye, his lips were split and bloody and his nose looked like it had been pulverized.
“Here is your traitor,” Maddox said icily, his voice filled with loathing, his eyes flashing with anger. “Not Evangeline. It was never Evangeline. We all knew it,” he said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the others. “Never doubted her, even for a second. Why can’t you, her dominant, the man she trusted without reservation and loved in spite of your sins, the man she was going to marry, say the same?”
Drake’s eyes narrowed and a loud roar began in his ears. His heart was hammering in his chest with enough force to make him light-headed.
“Someone mind telling me what the fuck is going on here? Why is Hatcher on the floor of my office being called a traitor?”
Justice looked at Drake in disgust, a look that was shared by Thane, Maddox, Hartley, Zander, Jax and Silas. “You question whether he’s guilty, one of your men, someone you employ, and yet you played judge and jury and hung the woman who loves you out to dry, refusing to hear any explanation or defense whatsoever. What the fuck is wrong with you, man?”
“Quit fucking around and just tell me what the hell is going on!” Drake exploded.
“Hatcher was the informant,” Thane said coldly. “He was with us the day we took Evangeline to lunch, remember? Consequently, he was also the one to call and tell you that Evangeline was talking to a cop in a hush-hush manner. Interesting coincidence, don’t you think? He set the entire thing up. He fed Evangeline to the wolves, and when she basically spit in the cop’s face and refused to give him shit on you, then they went with plan B.”
Drake’s stomach was churning violently. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he wiped his palms on his pants repeatedly. Oh dear God. What had he done, what had he done?
“Plan B,” Zander drawled, “was for Hatcher to continue feeding the cops intel while setting up a sting operation so they could implicate Evangeline in order for Hatcher to be able to continue feeding them information without suspicion. Tell me, Drake. Assholes or not, dirty or clean, how many cops would have fingered an informant like that in a fucking raid? And leave her to certain death with the people she betrayed? Jesus Christ, man, use your goddamn brain. That whole night stunk to high heaven and you were the only one who didn’t see it.”
Drake shot to his feet, standing over the desk, his gaze boring into Hatcher, who was still on his knees in front of Drake’s desk.
“You set Evangeline up, you worthless piece of shit?”
Hatcher remained stonily silent, his gaze averted and focused on some distant object, his jaw clenched, his features brooding.
The blood drained out of Drake’s face as he remembered someone else on her knees just four nights ago. Evangeline. Her sobs. Her begging. Her pleading with him to listen. To give her a chance. To please believe in her. That she’d always believed in him so could he now do the same for her?
Oh God, he’d failed her at the very first opportunity that presented itself after she’d forgiven him for the unspeakable things he’d done to her that horrific night in their apartment.
His knees buckled as grief consumed him. Regret, so much regret filled him, until he was drowning in it. He collapsed back into his chair and then buried his face in his hands.
“What have I done? Oh God, what have I done?” he asked in a raw, tortured voice filled with aching emotion. His throat throbbed with it. His heart was ravaged by it.
All he could see was Evangeline on her knees in this same room, begging him over and over.
Please listen to me.
“She’ll never forgive me, and it’s no less than I deserve,” he said in a voice ravaged by grief and . . . guilt.
“What do you want done with this piece of shit?” Maddox asked quietly.
Drake focused on the traitor. But worse than betraying his own brothers, the men he worked with and had pledged loyalty to, the bastard had betrayed Drake’s woman. Evangeline, who was completely innocent, the only innocent one of all of them. And Hatcher had ruthlessly used her to further his own greed and ambition. Drake didn’t really give a shit what his motives were. Not now. Not ever.
“Get rid of him,” he directed at Silas. “Make sure he gets the message loud and clear about what we do with traitors.”
For the first time, Hatcher looked scared shitless, and Drake couldn’t really blame him. Silas was one scary, badass motherfucker on his best day. But he and Evangeline were tight. Silas held a very soft place in his heart for her, and he wouldn’t have much mercy in the message he’d send to Hatcher—and to anyone else thinking to turn on his brother.
“Get him out of here,” Drake said, motioning for Maddox to take care of the matter. “I need to speak with Silas first.”
“What about Evangeline?” Justice asked, his arms crossed over his chest. “Swear to God, Drake, you fuck this up with her and I’m moving in. You left her with nothing, but I’ll step in and treat her with the respect she deserves and she’ll never have to worry about a goddamn thing for the rest of her life.”
Drake sighed wearily. “I understand, Justice. All too well. Believe me, I get it. I fucked up. I was already well on my way to figuring that out before you came through my door with that piece of shit Hatcher. Another five minutes and you wouldn’t have found me here because I would have been gone to find her. I know I was an asshole and I know you all had her back when I didn’t. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know. This is something I’ll pay for for the rest of my fucking life.”
“Save it, man,” Maddox said stiffly. “You’re apologizing to the wrong people. None of us are Evangeline, and she’s the one you need to be on your knees in front of begging her for forgiveness.”
Drake swallowed. “If that’s what it takes to get her back, then I’ll stay on my fucking knees forever.”
“Now that I’d pay money to see,” Zander drawled. “Come on, Maddox. Let’s take the trash out while the boss man talks to Silas, although I’d pay money to see this heart-to-heart too. Imagine, our man Silas acting as a relationship therapist.”
If looks could have killed, Zander would have died on the spot under the heat of Silas’s intimidating scowl. Grown men had been known to piss their pants when Silas was in their faces.
“I suggest you get the fuck out before I change my mind about who the recipient of my message is,�
�� Silas said in a frigid tone designed to freeze a man’s balls. Judging by the discomfort on the faces of his men, Drake thought that look had more than hit its mark.
As soon as the others departed, Drake turned desperately to Silas, his eyes as vacant as his heart, surely.
“I have to find her, Silas. You and I both know I don’t deserve a third chance with her. Not after fucking things up with her twice now, but I have to try. I won’t just walk away or let her walk away, even though I threw her out.”
Acid was burning a trail down his throat and into his stomach, searing a trail through his vital organs all the way down to his blackened, lost soul.
“I can’t live without her,” Drake said bleakly. “The last three days have been hell. This morning I told myself I didn’t even give a shit if she had betrayed me or not. I was willing to do anything to have her back and promise her anything to make that happen. Even if it meant going straight.”
Silas seemed to wrestle with himself for several long moments. A lifetime for Drake, who stood there, barely able to breathe for the pain choking him.
Finally, Silas leveled a stare at him that Drake couldn’t possibly mistake. It was Silas’s most grave, most serious expression, the one that said he meant business and would fuck you up if you didn’t heed his words.
“You mess up again, Drake, and it won’t be you or Justice who steps in to take care of Evangeline. Get me? I’ll be there for her in whatever capacity she needs for as long as she needs me, and I’ll give her the fucking moon. I shouldn’t tell you shit. I sure as hell shouldn’t help you. And if it weren’t for the fact that Evangeline is hurting every bit as much as you are, I’d say fuck you and leave you to rot in your self-made misery.”
His words scored a direct hit, making Drake wince with each and every one.
“She’s in the apartment next to mine,” Silas finally said. “The one on the right. Don’t fuck this up again, Drake. That’s the only warning you’re going to get.”
“I appreciate it. I appreciate you being there for Evangeline and for taking care of her after I ripped her apart. She needs people like you in her life. To save her from people like me,” he said bleakly.
“Here’s the extra key,” Silas said, tossing it over the desk to Drake. “I’ll expect to be your best man, provided she agrees to marry you still.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Drake said softly. “Neither would she.”
Silas offered a faint smile as he headed toward the elevator. “Be good to her.”
“I will,” Drake murmured, closing his eyes.
God, just give me one more chance to make her happy and I swear I’ll never let her down again.
29
Drake walked into Silas’s quiet apartment building, perspiration dampening his shirt, despite the frigid temperatures outside. There wasn’t much in his life that he could ever say truly scared him. There wasn’t anything he feared, not even death. Death was merely the means to an end. The end of a beautiful, long ride or . . . a shortcut through unplanned scenery resulting in taking the wrong turn.
But the prospect of losing Evangeline for good?
Fucking terrified him.
His hands were shaking when he got off the elevator on the top floor, and every step toward her door at the end of the hall seemed like a mile. He thought about knocking—it made him a complete asshole not to knock—but then if he calmly announced his arrival, she likely wouldn’t let him in the door.
Did it make him any less of an asshole to knock first and then if she didn’t respond, use the key Silas had given him? He couldn’t remember if the apartments in his buildings had dead bolts. Surely they did. Silas wasn’t an asshole of a landlord who didn’t take care of his tenants. But he was also in the first stages of renovation on the top floor, so the dead bolts might or might not be present.
At any rate, he’d knock and not just barge in and terrify and overwhelm her. After that? Well, he’d take it one step at a time.
He stopped in front of the door and simply placed his palm flat against the wooden surface and then leaned to press his forehead against it as well.
“Please talk to me, Evangeline,” he whispered. “Please be the gorgeous, generous, loving woman you’ve always been and give me the chance I refused to give you. I don’t deserve it but I’m begging you, like you begged me.”
He had to stop because he damned himself more with every word that came out of his mouth. Straightening to his full height, he knocked sharply on the door and then waited, holding his breath, each passing second an eternity.
His heart sank when he knocked again and heard no reply. Could she be sleeping? Silas had said she was distraught. Upset. He’d even called when Drake had been on his way over to tell him that he’d had to give her pain medication for a horrific headache she’d suffered. Yet one more sin to tarnish his already blackened soul.
Worried that she could very well be ill, he hesitated only a fraction of a second before pulling out the key and inserting it into the lock. A rush of air blew over his lips when the door opened, unbarred by a dead bolt. He stepped inside and softly called, “Evangeline? Angel, baby, it’s me, Drake. Are you here?”
Silence was all that greeted him. He walked farther in, only to see the pristine condition that all of Silas’s apartments were typically kept in. There wasn’t a single thing to denote that she’d even ever been here. Then another rush of self-condemnation blew over him. Of course it would look as though no one had been here. He’d stripped her of everything. All her clothing, her possessions. He’d thrown her out with nothing.
He hurriedly went through the small apartment, a sick feeling entering his stomach when his search turned up nothing. It was as if she’d never set foot in the place. How unlikely was that?
In the kitchen he finally saw the note affixed to the refrigerator. He rushed over and ripped it down and read her neatly scrawled handwriting. It was addressed to Silas and Maddox.
Thank you so much for everything, both of you. I’ve decided not to stay here in the city any longer. It would be too painful for me to be here, always remembering. You were my absolute best memory of New York City.
Love always,
Evangeline
Drake crumpled the note and then went back through the apartment, searching for what, he wasn’t sure. Some clue as to where she might have gone? In the bathroom, he found the first sign that someone had been here recently. Just a tissue, crumpled and soggy looking, though it was dry. Had she cried here, using the tissue to wipe away her tears?
He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply to prevent his own tears from sliding free. He jumped when his cell phone rang and he automatically reached for it, intending to shut it off, when he saw who the caller was. His pulse immediately began to race when he saw Evangeline’s mom’s name listed as the incoming caller.
“Brenda, how are you?” he greeted her. As if there were nothing wrong. As if his entire world hadn’t vanished.
She sniffed and there was the sound of a faint sob as she spoke. “Drake? Is Evangeline with you?”
Drake froze, his blood turning to ice in his veins. “No,” he said slowly. “She isn’t. I was hoping you could tell me where to find her.”
“She was flying home!” Brenda cried. “She called me this morning to say she was catching a late-afternoon flight and would arrive here thirty minutes ago! She wasn’t on the plane. She didn’t get on the plane. What has happened to my daughter?”
“I’m going to find out, Brenda. I swear to you, I’ll find her. Can you tell me anything that might be helpful?”
“You promised me,” Brenda raged. “You swore to me that you would protect and look out for my baby, but when she called me, you should have heard how upset she was. She was heartbroken! She said that the two of you had broken up and that she was moving home. I had hoped that since she didn’t get on the plane, perhaps the two of you had reconciled.”
“Brenda, listen to me,” Drake said, utter gravity
in his tone. “I did a terrible thing to your daughter. I didn’t trust her as I should have. As a result, we had an argument, and yes, we broke up. But I was on my way to where she was staying to apologize and to beg her for forgiveness. She did nothing wrong, except have absolute faith and trust in me when I didn’t give her the same back.”
Emotion knotted his throat, making his speech so thick it was a wonder she could even understand him. He sounded garbled even to his own self.
“Do you love her?” Brenda asked accusingly. “Because if you don’t, then let her go, Drake. No matter how much she’s hurting now, she’ll only hurt more if she becomes more deeply involved with you, or even married to you, and you don’t love her.”
“I love her with everything that I am, everything that I will be and everything that I have. It all belongs to her. My heart, my soul, my life. If she’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving myself to her.”
There was a prolonged silence and then Brenda finally spoke again, sounding a little more appeased than she had initially.
“Find my daughter, Drake. And when you do, I want to talk to her. I’m sick with worry and so is her father. Please find her and let us know she’s safe.”
“I will,” he vowed, and then eased the phone down to shove it back into his pocket.
“Oh God. Where are you, Angel?” he said in an anguished tone.
He reached into his pocket for his phone, turning away from the sink to call Silas to see if he knew her whereabouts, when from the corner of his eye he saw something distinctive in the trash can.
He froze in place, all the breath leaving his body in one wicked expulsion. He began to shake violently as he stared, unable to move for the fear paralyzing him. It couldn’t be. Could it?