She felt the softness of his T-shirt against her wet cheek, and his hand smoothed down her hair, cupped her chin.
“You’re okay. You’re with me. Alessa.”
She opened her eyes, raw and aching with the tears she had shed. His face was real. She reached her hands up to touch his face, run her fingers along his cheeks, reassuring, checking, breathing him in. “Josh. You’re here.”
“Look at me,” he demanded, stilling her hands.
“You’re here,” she repeated, absorbing the warmth of his face on her chilled hands.
“I am here. I will always be here. You scared me to death. You’re shaking still. Soaked with sweat.”
She felt shame color her cheeks and tried to pull back. “I’m a mess. I’m so sorry. I fell asleep. I remembered. Josh, I remembered everything. You. You’re here, and I’m a sweaty, crying mess. And that’s not even the worst of it.” She tried to move away from him, but he only gripped her harder, moved himself onto the bed so his back was leaning on the headboard. He pulled her onto his lap and kept his hands firmly on her, not once breaking eye contact.
“You’re crying and sweating because you’re scared. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, but don’t try to turn away from me, please.”
“You don’t know. You don’t understand. He wants me dead and you, your family. You’ll be in danger, too. You can’t get involved.”
“It’s a little late for that.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. I know. I didn’t know what I was running from, but I do now. You can still get away from this—”
“Alessa, stop it. Stop. I didn’t mean too late to get involved in the danger. Though it’s too late for that, too. I can’t walk away from you. I can’t turn my back and suddenly distance myself.” His arms came around her, but as much as she knew she should push him away, she couldn’t.
“Because you’re so good. You are such a good person, Josh. You’ve done so much for me,” she whispered, touching his face again. He touched hers in return, ran his thumb over her lips before cupping her jaw.
“That’s not why. It’s not because I’m so good, Alessa. It’s you. You have no idea what you’ve done for me. I need you. There’s no choice in the matter. I love you. I’m in love with you. Desperately. Completely. Whatever comes along with having you, we’ll get through it. I promise you.”
Her breath froze, trapped itself in her lungs. The pressure built, making her worry her chest might crack open. “You love me?”
He nodded, kissed her tears, ran his nose along hers gently, kissed her mouth, and kept his gaze direct on hers. “I love you. What can I do to make you see that? To make you feel the same way?”
A strangled sound escaped her throat, and she threw her arms around his neck, held him as tightly as she could while the pressure in her chest blossomed, freeing the air trapped inside of her. “I already do. I already love you so much it terrifies me.”
He chuckled lightly, hugged her around the waist. She leaned back, the tears drying on her face, which she knew must be splotched and red.
“Don’t be scared,” he whispered before kissing her lightly, “not of this.”
There was so much more they needed to talk about, to take care of now that she remembered. But right now, for this one moment, she was going to sit in the arms of the man she loved, the man who really loved her. How had she thought Raymond had loved her? It was so obvious now, what love looked like. Felt like. How strong it made her. She knew she would need the strength of Josh’s love, of their love, to get through what was next. So she’d take the minute now, while she could, and absorb as much as possible.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Josh wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and tell her just how much he loved her, how much she had healed him and made him whole again. But there truly wasn’t time. The hair on the back of his neck was prickling with unease. Alessa curled into him so sweetly it took effort to lean away from her, to look her in the eyes and tell her what he knew.
“I need to know everything you remembered. But right now, we need to get out of here. I want you to pack a bag,” he said, hoping there was a semblance of calm in his voice. There wasn’t in his heart.
Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Raymond has been to the hospital. He knows you’re staying with me, thanks to some loose-lipped interns. We need to get out of here, Alessa.” He felt the shudder wash over her and rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
She shook her head gently. “No. I’ll go. I shouldn’t be here. You just tell him you helped me, and then I left. If he finds out you care about me, he’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt you and your family. Anyone who stands in his way, Josh.”
She moved away from him, the fear lacing her voice. Josh gripped her wrist to stop her and waited until her gaze was locked on his—he wished he could erase the panic he saw.
“You’ve had problems with your memory, but there is nothing wrong with your hearing so I need you to listen to me,” he instructed firmly.
She blinked at him, leaned in a little. “What is it?”
“You are my family now. I will not leave you or let you go through this alone. Do you love me?”
“I told you I do. You know I do. That’s why—”
“Then you know you wouldn’t leave me if I needed you. I don’t want to waste time having this discussion again, Alessa. I need you to know, to truly believe in your heart, that I love you. And that means we are in this together.”
Tears brimmed her eyes, but she nodded, leaned in to kiss him. He gave himself that moment to taste her lips, to whisper it would be okay. Somehow, he would make sure they would be okay.
Ten minutes later they were in his car, speeding away from his house. His nerves were frayed, but surprisingly, he was calm. Being a surgeon had helped to prepare him for this. He was cool under pressure. It was like second nature to him to be able to make decisions in the blink of an eye. It’s what he did, who he was.
“I need you to tell me everything you remember, Alessa.” He glanced over at her, his stomach clenching at the fear in her eyes.
She took a deep breath, and he could hear the tremble in it, the slight hitches of her inhale. “I used to be a waitress. I worked at a small diner. I don’t know where, though, or the name of it. The only thing that’s really crystal clear to me is Raymond Scotts.”
That man’s name was enough to ignite red-hot rage in Josh’s gut. He clenched his teeth, and remained silent, waiting for Alessa to continue.
“I know I met him at the diner. I was working there to pay my way through college. I’d only met him once, but I remember being impressed with him, with the way he carried himself. So when I was offered the chance to intern with him, I took it. Then things . . . well, we both know how things ended.”
Josh flexed his fingers and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Raymond was scum, a coward who beat a woman to near death. He deserved whatever came to him.
“That letter we found in the post office box, I now know I wrote that to myself. I left myself clues. God.” She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. “I knew. I knew he was going to try to kill me, and I . . .” She sat up abruptly. “Kristy!”
That name sounded vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn’t place it. “Who’s Kristy?”
“My best friend. She knew everything. She was helping me.” Alessa turned to face him, her face ashen and terrified. “If Raymond found her . . .”
“Hey.” Josh’s voice was firm and he hoped comforting. “I’m sure Kristy is okay. As soon as we get settled somewhere, we’ll call her.”
“I don’t remember her phone number.” Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes.
He took a deep breath and nodded. “Don’t worry. We’ll find her, Alessa. I promise.”
“Raymond’s dirty. He’s got everyone on the take. We can’t go to the police, Josh. Where are we going to go?” Her voice was laced with panic.
&n
bsp; “Amanda and Ethan’s.”
“No.” Alessa shook her head adamantly. “No. It’s bad enough I dragged you into this. I won’t put them in harm’s way, too.”
Josh rubbed his hand across his forehead and sighed. “We don’t really have any other choice, Alessa. Besides, they’ll want to help you. They’ll be offended if we don’t go to them.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I know.” He reached over and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He wasn’t too excited about bringing his sister into the middle of this either, but he knew Amanda, and he knew she’d help. She’d know what to do.
As he turned the car around to head toward Ethan and Amanda’s house, Alessa finished telling him the story of Raymond Scotts and how she’d landed in the hospital.
* * * *
“We can go to the cabin.” Amanda wrapped her arm around Alessa’s shoulder.
The women were sitting on the couch in Ethan and Amanda’s living room. The sky had turned dark to match Josh’s mood, but the room was brightly lit, and the gas fireplace cast warmth around them. They came here because Josh knew he could count on both Amanda and Ethan. As he expected, both his sister and her husband had listened without judgment, and then asked what they could do to help.
“You two should go to the cabin,” Ethan corrected, looking at Amanda and Alessa. He turned to Josh. “We’ll go to the police.”
Josh grimaced. Yes, now that Alessa had recovered her memory, they needed to involve the police, but she’d been pretty firm in the car about not going to the police. He glanced at her. Alessa looked scared and sad and defeated. Josh knew she felt badly for involving his sister and Ethan, but he was glad she wasn’t saying it aloud. Right now, he needed her to trust him and believe in him, in them. It didn’t surprise him that, with her past, both of those things were difficult for her to do.
“We need to swing by my place first,” Josh said.
Alessa jumped up and walked toward him. “No. If you think Raymond knows where you live, you can’t go back there. That’s why we left.”
“I know, honey, but I thought the papers were in your bag. I thought you grabbed them,” he said quietly and hoped there was no censure in his voice. Her face crumpled, when she started to apologize, he interjected. “It’s okay. But we need everything from the safety deposit box so we can go to the police. Where did you put them?”
“Under the couch. In that photo box. I was looking through them before I remembered and cleaned them up to take a break. I’m sorry. I just slipped the box under the couch to clean up a bit.”
He kissed her gently and pulled her in for a hug. “It’s okay. I promise you, Alessandra, everything is going to be okay. You’re going to be okay,” he whispered.
“It’s not me I’m worried about.” Her arms wrapped around his waist, and her head rested on his chest.
He put his chin on top of her head and just held her for a moment. He couldn’t lose her. He’d never survive it. Losing Laura had nearly destroyed him. Losing Alessa would kill him.
Amanda stood and walked to Ethan.
“We’ll be fine. We’ll get them and go straight to the police,” Josh assured her, and then forced himself to release her.
“You guys go. I’ll pack some of your things, too, and we’ll stay a couple of days, until things get sorted,” Amanda said, her hand on Ethan’s arm.
“Okay. That’s good. We’ll take Josh’s car, but I want you to be careful. Call me when you get to the cabin—in and settled.” Ethan kissed Amanda’s cheek.
“I think it’s you two who need to be careful,” Alessa said regretfully.
Ethan smiled at her warmly. “We will. Everything will be all right, Alessa. You’re being tested, but you’re not alone in this,” he subtly raised his head up, “and you will get through it. We’re all here for you, including Him.”
Josh often thought Ethan’s voice had a hypnotic quality to it. Listening pulled people in and made them agree to whatever he said. As a pastor, that was great and very comforting. As his friend, Josh had been pulled into moving many heavy things and painting rooms he didn’t want to paint thanks to that quiet tone. He gave Alessa one more kiss and clapped Ethan on the back.
“Let’s go. You girls get on the road as soon as you can,” Josh instructed.
In the car, Josh took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel. “Thank you for doing this with me.”
“Don’t be stupid man. You’re family. And you’re my best friend.” Ethan adjusted the passenger seat to suit his long legs.
Josh looked at him as he started the car. “You gonna tell me you love me?” He grinned.
Ethan simply grinned back, but behind that smile, Josh knew there was some sort of wisecrack remark waiting to be set free.
Ethan and Amanda lived in a quiet suburb, perfect for raising a family and growing old together. Since they were kids, all Amanda had ever really wanted was that fairy tale. When she and Ethan finally accepted they would never have children, they had considered moving. Amanda found it difficult to be surrounded by the life she had longed for. But his sister was strong, and they had stayed. She said they would live whatever life they were meant to live, and she would do it in the house she and Ethan had fallen in love with. There wasn’t much traffic, seeing as it was mid-week and mid-day. Josh filled Ethan in on what he knew of Raymond Scotts.
“So Alessa has remembered everything?” he asked.
“Yes. We didn’t go through everything, but she filled me in on what landed her in the hospital. She was compiling evidence to take to the DA. They had contacted Alessa and worked out a deal with her to help them take Raymond down. Apparently, he was embezzling campaign funds and utilizing the funds of various charities he supported to wrap himself up nice and tight with the mob.”
“How did Alessa get wrapped up with him anyway?”
“She was doing an internship. She had finished her political science degree and one of her instructors connected her with Scotts. She had met him once at the restaurant where she worked part time and said he seemed so charming that when she got the chance to work with him, she jumped on it.”
“Poor girl. Thinking she was kick-starting her career and landing in this mess.” Ethan shook his head and looked out the window.
“He found the DA’s card in her purse. Started to suspect her, that’s what she figures, and then traced her email, had a couple of his guys follow her. When his suspicions were confirmed, he decided she needed to go.” Josh turned onto his street. The thought of anyone hurting her made his stomach twist. He hoped he didn’t run into Raymond Scotts because he wasn’t sure he could behave in the way he’d always lived his life: do no harm. It didn’t make him feel good that harming Raymond was all he wanted to do. Instead, he shifted his focus on protecting Alessa and getting her out of this mess.
“I don’t know what I’d do if someone hurt Amanda. I know what I’d want to do.” Ethan looked over at Josh, his eyes showing understanding.
“What I want to do and what I’m going to do are two different things,” Josh said.
Ethan nodded, a grave expression on his face. “And that right there is what separates the good guys from the bad.”
Josh pulled into his driveway. Ethan insisted on coming in with him. When he saw his door was slightly ajar, he was glad he had someone at his back. Ethan pulled out his phone, calling 9-1-1 even as they moved forward cautiously. Josh pushed the door open, looked in, listened, heard nothing. He met Ethan’s gaze, and then continued down the hall. The couch had large slashes in the cushions, the plants by the windows, which somehow survived his inattentiveness, were upended on the floor. He heard Ethan mumbling quietly to the dispatch, giving Josh’s address. His TV was smashed, and the computer screen was knocked on its side.
The fury spread in his blood like a virus, fast and harsh. He could hear his own breathing and forced himself to calm down even as he clenched his fists. Checking both bedrooms, he found nothing, same with the bath
room. In the kitchen, there was a hastily scrawled note. Josh picked it up while Ethan moved beside him to see it closer, still on the phone. The note was clear.
Whose life do you value more, Alessandra? Yours or your friends?
Any police, I’ll make the decision for you and still come after you.
Josh’s jaw clenched painfully. Ethan hung up the phone. There was a phone number on the bottom of the note. When Josh picked up the phone that was set beside the note, pressed the home button, the image that greeted him made him very grateful Alessa wasn’t here with them.
“Who is that?” Ethan asked, his voice quivering with the same anger and disgust Josh felt. The woman, with curly black hair and what was most likely once a gorgeous olive complexion, looked beyond scared. A fist gripped her hair, forcing her to look at the camera. She was tied to a chair, her sweater torn, her face bruised and bloodied, and a gag between her teeth. On her lap was a piece of cardboard with today’s date on it and the words “your choice” written underneath.
“Kristy. She’s Alessa’s best friend. He’s got her best friend.” A rock landed squarely in Josh’s gut, and he didn’t know if he’d be able to face Alessa now. How could he? He’d promised her Kristy would be all right. And clearly, she wasn’t. He’d failed her already.
Helplessness raged inside of him. He knew Alessa well enough to know she would gladly give her life for someone else’s, especially someone she loved. Through clenched teeth, Josh looked at Ethan. “We need to say this was a random break-in.”
Ethan closed his eyes briefly, but nodded in understanding. Further panicked, Josh handed Ethan the phone and went to the couch. Underneath, he found the photo box where he and Alessa kept all of her documents.
“Is that the evidence you were talking about?”
Josh stood, opened the box, relieved to see everything was there. “Yes. Clearly they were just looking for her and not thinking she might have this.”
Dangerous Love Page 19