‘We were so involved,’ Cassie murmured, slowly shaking her head and raising her eyes to meet and hold Rachael’s. ‘Tessa reported back that Hannah was out alone and giving herself a riding lesson. Kathryn and Matthew decided it would be the perfect opportunity for him and Prudence to have a little chat with her, to warn her off and no doubt play to her weaknesses. As we know … it went further than that.’
Rachael sat up and moved to sit conventionally on the sofa. It was clear she was remembering the past, too. ‘I don’t know what he was thinking,’ she whispered.
‘I do. He was desperate. And Kathryn knew it and gave him the gun. She gave him the damned gun! She and Matthew shared a look as she removed it from the cabinet at Worton Hall. “Could you not be out shooting?” she asked. I remember it word for word. “You must possess a reason for being there …”’
There was a long silence before Rachael spoke. Putting her hand on Cassie’s knee, she said, ‘We weren’t involved, Cassie. Things are different now. Susie was hurt, yes. But how could it have played out? And if that isn’t reassuring enough, George is ahead of us here. Not only is he avoiding Porsche, but he must be sensing some innate need to protect Suse, perhaps because of how it all ended last time? It’s fascinating really. He can’t yet remember Freddie, but there’s something that’s driving him right now. According to Suse’s furious telephone call this morning – and boy oh boy was she livid – George has got her safety well and truly covered. He’s in some serious doodoo, but as long as Suse is safe, they both are. It’s different, Cassie. Very, very different. Freddie didn’t act in this way. Why would he have felt the need to? Whatever similarities there are will stop.’
Cassie gave Rachael’s hand a squeeze in thanks. She had to get a grip on herself here. Rachael was right. Things were different. So different. How could things play out? And she had to look at the facts. Facts, Cassie! First rule of investigation! She didn’t even know Michael and Porsche had been involved and … Oh God! She loved George so much. He had it covered. Whatever may or may not be happening. Whatever Michael and Porsche may or may not be doing or have planned, he had it covered anyway! And she knew from experience how protective he could be. Overly so sometimes. A wry smile appeared on her lips as she recalled his reaction to one of her past boyfriends … He was going to do Susie’s head in.
‘I made all the right sympathetic noises as Susie explained her plight, but I believe your brother is one of my favourite people right now,’ Rachael said, grinning broadly in response to Cassie’s small smile. She quickly added, ‘Simply because it’s better to be safe than sorry, of course. Not because I think Susie needs protection because this is going to stop very soon. It might already have! Look, try and buy yourself some time with talking to him. Because I honestly don’t think they are meant to know quite yet. If he starts turning up at your place, feel free to hide out here. It’s all way too quiet without Suse …’
Rachael gave Cassie’s hand another reassuring pat and sat back in her seat.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Rachael took a deep comforting breath. Before taking another because the first really hadn’t worked. Unsettling? Her words had been about reassuring Cassie and hopefully herself in the process. But unsettling? After what had just happened to Suse, that hardly went there. Why the blazes was this happening? She normally put things down to Fate, but she couldn’t let herself consider him right now. Coincidence was so much more preferable because … Why hadn’t it flaming well stopped with her and Cassie out of the equation? It should have done! How could things still be—?
She was snapped away from her worried thoughts by the quick rap on the door, which was then promptly flung open.
Rob. And Matey! She leapt up and scooped Matey into her arms before returning to the sofa where she sat with him on her lap. She really needed him right now.
‘I was just after news on Suse,’ Rob said quietly.
‘She’s fine, Rich— Rob!’ Cassie spluttered. ‘Just … bruised.’
Rachael shot her a look and promptly winced. This was the first time Cassie had seen Rob since she’d identified him as once being Richard Barratt. If her voice and words hadn’t been a big enough giveaway of the fact, how she was now looking indicated that her mind was awash with Kathryn’s memories of him.
Rob looked at Cassie uneasily before shooting a furrowed-brow look Rachael’s way. She watched his eyes lower to Matey before his frown deepened and he shut them. He shook his head before reopening them. Still focusing on Matey, he said, ‘I won’t crash in here. But I just wanted to say … if you’d like to spend more time with him, then I’d … I can see the Soul Mate thing must be … Okay … I realise you must find the situation you are in difficult with him being what he is and … Bloody hell! Look, just know that I have no issue with you …’ He turned away and started to head towards the door. ‘With you spending more time with him. And I’m relieved Suse is okay. I’ll be seeing you. Stay Matey,’ he commanded, seeming to know without turning around that Matey was attempting to leave her lap.
‘Wait! That’s lovely. Thank you. I’d love to spend more time with him. But please don’t go,’ Rachael cried.
A strange sound escaped Cassie. She was evidently struggling with something. Those memories could come thick and fast on first recollection.
Rob paused and shot an anxious look in Cassie’s direction before continuing even more quickly towards the door.
‘Don’t go Rob … I’ve cream crackers!’
Rob paused and she heard his low chuckle. He turned and looked at her for a long moment, before shaking his head. After what seemed like an age, he slowly smiled. ‘Mustard?’ he asked, with a raised brow.
‘American!’ Rachael said, matching his smile. His eyes!
‘You make things so difficult,’ he murmured as he walked over and sat down on the floor next to the plate, now positioned on the stack of books to the side of the sofa. He picked one of the yellows.
‘And now you’re here, and because you’re one of us, so to speak … I’d be really interested to know what you think of history repeating itself.’ Rachael spoke casually, but all the time watched his reaction closely. ‘Not in the sense of historic world events and the cyclical debate, but as in events that have happened to someone in the past repeating themselves in the next life.’
From the way his hand halted on the way to his mouth and the blank look that appeared on his face, Rachael could tell that that question was having much the same effect on him as Cassie’s had had on her. But to be honest, Rachael was pretty much coming to the view that she and Cassie could do with all the help they could get on this subject, and really welcomed the opportunity of talking it through with him. A trouble shared and all that.
Rob opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, but before he could say anything, if indeed he yet knew what to say, Cassie exclaimed, ‘Matey?’
Rachael turned away from Rob to face her, and saw that she was staring at Matey who remained on her lap, purring away as she rigorously stroked him. Flaming Nora!
‘I’ve been thinking through past conversations we’ve had,’ Cassie continued, in that voice she used when she was attempting matter of fact but failing. ‘Matey? You mentioned him before. I clearly recall it. And with what Ri— Rob has just said, and you there with … It’s a namesake, right? Please tell me it’s a namesake or I swear I’m … Do you have any idea how close you had me to being on board with the Soul Mates stuff. So close.’ She’d lifted her right finger and thumb up to indicate how close. ‘Even the damned cherries! I just wanted one thing sorted in my head. Just one thing! And now? Tell me – please – that I’ve got completely the wrong end of the stick here? God knows I’m not myself right now.’
Rachael returned her focus to Rob. He gave her a sympathetic look. Rachael swallowed hard. She liked to think she and Cassie had some kind of mutual respect thing going on
and didn’t want to threaten that. And she liked her, too. Neither, of course, did she want her writing a story about her and Matey because that really wouldn’t be good for business. And neither did she really want to have to deal with this right now. Crap!
She smiled weakly back at Rob and took a healthy dose of reassurance from Matey. There was nothing for it. ‘Well you know how millions and millions and millions of Buddhists in the world, including the Dalai Lama himself – and you know how wise and well respected he is – believe souls aren’t just reincarnated into people …?’
‘Why?’ Susie asked from the foot of the stairs, where she stood with arms crossed and her foot tapping rapidly.
George paused for a moment in the front doorway. God she was gorgeous, even with that furious look on her face, but he knew he was in trouble here. Things had not panned out at all well today. But what choice had he had? He closed the door behind him and moved forward to take her into his arms. Unfortunately, she side-stepped him and moved to lean against the wall, still with her arms folded.
‘What are you doing on your feet?’ he asked gently, attempting to mask his frown. He moved to lean against the wall opposite so he could face her. She looked pale. ‘You’re meant to be resting. You didn’t go to school today, which is good, but …’
‘No, George. I didn’t go to school today.’
‘Susie …’
‘I wanted to go to school! And I told you no bodyguards! We agreed to revisit as and when we go public. Instead you go behind my back and employ a crack unit of ex-SAS ball-breakers who’d make mincemeat out of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator mode!’
‘Sweetheart—’
‘Don’t you dare sweetheart me! You had no right. They kept me imprisoned George! They wouldn’t let me out of the house. As you well know because it was on your orders! I couldn’t get hold of you all day – funny that – and they refused to be reasoned with. We follow orders,’ she mimicked. ‘But not mine! Never mine!’
‘Baby—’
‘You have no right to baby me! And Tom …’ George knew what was coming and chose to focus on his feet. He hated Susie being angry with him. ‘Odd that he bears such an uncanny resemblance to that obstructive shire horse flattening groom I had the unfortunate experience of encountering on Saturday, isn’t it George?’
‘I’m sorry things got heavy-handed today, truly sorry. Will you please sit down rather than stand?’ He gestured towards the bottom steps of the stairs. She should not be on her feet like this.
She glowered at him and shook her head.
‘In my defence: it was a good job they were there on Saturday and here today. You said you wouldn’t go to school. If you’d done what you assured me you would do, and which the doctor insisted on, you wouldn’t have even known they were—’
Her look silenced him. That flash in her eyes – it was like lightning across thunderous skies. It was incredible. And the effect it was having on him, not at all appropriate. Damn. He looked at his feet with added urgency.
‘I changed my mind, George. Which last time I checked was not an imprisonable offence! Why? Why did you do it? I thought we’d talked it through.’
And they had. And there was hurt in her voice now, not just anger. Bloody hell! But how could he possibly explain the depths of his fears? She knew he worried about loss, just as she, but no matter how hard he’d tried to apply logic and common sense, his fears had continued to grow. And after Saturday they no longer seemed to simply haunt, they all of a sudden seemed horrifyingly real.
‘I know you worry about me,’ she was saying. ‘But I worry about you, too. Do you see me stopping you going to work because I don’t trust that bitch of a co-star of yours? Do you see me—?’
‘I’m not the one being so blasé about my own health and safety! You changed your mind?’ And he hadn’t meant to raise his voice here. He had been determined on cajoling, reasoning … apologising. But this was too much. She was under doctor’s orders to stay at home. She’d told him she would. Yet she’d changed her mind! Had been intent on putting herself at risk – again! ‘Your actions today, just as on Saturday, were stupid and reckless and—’
‘Stupid and … You are calling me stupid?’
Yes! ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, rubbing his forehead. ‘I don’t want to argue with you, but you have to admit—’
‘You call me stupid when you employ three bodyguards knowing full well what my reaction will be? You dare to call me stupid? Have you any idea how humiliating today has been?’
There was that hurt again. And the guilt that he’d been experiencing all day, that refused to go away no matter how much he told himself he was doing the right thing, now engulfed him.
‘And their names, George, why? Why would you do it? Was it to make my humiliation complete because if it was you’ve succeeded. I bet you’ve been having such a laugh at my expense and—’
‘Susie!’ he cried, shaking his head and sweeping his hands through his hair. She was infuriating. How could she possibly think that? ‘I employed them because they are the best! You think this is about humiliation and having a laugh? It was – is – about keeping you safe because you seem unable to do that yourself! The doctor said rest. Rest. Not go to work! I never set out to humiliate you. You know that. You must know that. And believe me, there is nothing about this that I find remotely amusing; my need for you to have them, or your reaction to them. Do I look amused here? No Susie. I’m tearing my hair out because the last thing I meant to do was upset you, but you gave me no choice! I couldn’t be here when you were intent on setting off to school, no matter how hard I tried. So I did what I had to. How about you tell me why you did it? Why you showed such a blatant disregard for your well-being when you know how much I worry about you? Particularly after Saturday!’
She said nothing, but did at least have the sense to look awkward.
‘And for your information, they are a crack unit and their company is called Tom, Dick and Harry. That’s their names. What else could they have called themselves?’
‘Hulks R Us? Grunt, Grunt and Grunt?’ And there was no trace of her earlier awkwardness as lightning again flashed. ‘And you had a choice. As should I. Worry is one thing, but what you did today went way beyond what I can possibly—’
‘Susie—’
‘Anyway, I reckon they should rename themselves,’ she announced, crossing her arms afresh and looking pleased with herself. ‘Tom and Harry? No, best make it The Dickless Duo.’ At his frown, she continued, ‘I bet they didn’t tell you that they lost Dick for a while today, did they?’
They had what?
‘Dick pushed me too far and I found his weak spot. It was pretty obvious really and it caused enough of a diversion to get me out the door and into your mum’s waiting taxi—’
‘You went out?!’ George was instantaneously before Susie. And what the hell had his mum been thinking? Susie had nearly died on Saturday!
‘Trouble in the ranks, George? I had a dress fitting. For your premiere! I tried to contact you to call them off, but you’ve been un-contactable – to me at least – all day. Why I went to the trouble I have no idea when you treat me this way.’
George was speechless, completely and utterly speechless and his head beyond a mess. Fury, terror, guilt, helplessness all blindly rampaged through him. Fury at Susie, his mum, at Tom, Dick and bloody Harry, at himself for not having been here to ensure this couldn’t have happened – and for his feeling the need for any of this in the first place. Terror at what could have resulted; he could have lost her like he’d so nearly done on Saturday. Guilt. So much damned guilt. Her hurt was bubbling away and he’d caused it. And she’d gone out for the dress fitting for his premiere. The problem was with him and he had no idea how to remedy it, how the hell to get a hold on these gut-wrenching fears. And it was Susie paying the price. Helplessness, total a
nd utter helplessness because … what was he supposed to do? It was as if he sensed a need to keep her safe.
‘George?’ Susie prompted and she sounded concerned now, rather than angry.
He shook his head not knowing what to say or do. He turned away to sink down on one of the lower steps of the stairs, where he held his head in his hands. If he carried on like this he’d drive her away and lose her anyway.
‘George?’
He felt her hand on his arm. She’d joined him on the step.
‘George?’
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,’ he said, the words coming straight from his heart. ‘The way I handled today.’ Taking a deep breath he raised his head to meet her eyes. She looked so concerned. ‘I panicked. And I know I’m not being fair on you. But after Saturday—’
‘I’m fine, George,’ Susie whispered, moving her hands up to stroke the side of his face.
‘But you might not have been! And if something happened to you …’ His words broke off on a choke. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t. Not now that he’d found her.
‘Oh love. It’s not going to.’ She held his face between both her hands and met his desperate gaze with those stunning eyes of hers. ‘You have to stop worrying. I had no idea you were worrying so much. Why didn’t you tell me?’
He lowered his head to rest his forehead upon hers. ‘Worry doesn’t begin to go there and I’ve no idea how to explain it to you.’
It doesn’t feel like fear anymore, rather a sixth sense that if I don’t act something terrible is going to happen to you.
‘After Saturday, everything has gone into overdrive.’
‘Saturday was an accident George and today … Look, nothing is going to happen to me. I’m sorry I worried you, but you’ve got to stop this. We have to enjoy what we have now, don’t you see that? What we have is magic. But too much thinking will ruin it. Stop worrying. Please? Start enjoying what we have. It’s the only way.’
Romancing the Soul Page 24