FAIL CALL: Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores - 6 Pitches – FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! The editor rejected all six pitches. None of them appealed to him.
So I went back to the drawing board. I came up with a seventh idea that I loved, featuring one of the characters who joined Voyager's crew after the two-part episode "Equinox." I wrote up a short proposal and sent it along.
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Soulstice" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
Marla Gilmore, one of the rescued (and demoted) Equinox crew members, is struggling to deal with life aboard Voyager. Six months after the Equinox incident, she and her Equinox shipmates are still on restricted, supervised duty, disliked and distrusted by most of the rest of the crew. (Only Neelix makes an effort to befriend them.) The Equinox people stick together, but either work too hard to return to favor or stop trying and nurse grudges against "Captain Bligh" (Janeway). They regard Tuvok, who supervises their "probation" and isn't going easy on them, as their nemesis. All of them are pessimistic about the fate they'll face if Voyager makes it back to the Alpha Quadrant. (What's the use in going home if they'll likely face court-martial when they get there?) Marla, still haunted by the attacks she survived and guilt-ridden over her role in leaving Voyager at the mercy of the nucleogenic aliens, is struggling to make peace with the past and find some way to move forward. She feels disgraced, out of place, and afraid to make a mistake.
In the midst of her depression and alienation, Marla gets an opportunity to participate in an away mission when Voyager answers a call for help from aliens whose sun is about to go nova. The aliens have staved off the nova for thousands of years with an incredible solar stabilization grid, but the grid is breaking down. If the aliens' grid isn't repaired fast, the star will go nova and destroy the inhabited artificial worlds in orbit around it. Every engineer and able body aboard Voyager—including Marla—must join the race against time to save billions of lives.
While working with Seven of Nine in the grid's main control center, Marla learns of Seven's past sins as a member of the Borg collective...and in Seven's redemption as part of Voyager's crew, sees hope for herself. However, Marla's newfound considerations of redemption are challenged when she faces a morally ambiguous situation.
Studying the star's emissions, Marla realizes that they contain orderly patterns suggesting the signals of an intelligent entity. She analyzes the signals and makes a startling discovery: the star itself is a sentient being. Communicating with the star, Marla learns that it is being restrained against its will from going nova, which is the next stage in its natural development. The star has been in agony for thousands of years and poignantly longs to evolve. In its trapped and tortured condition, Marla sees a reflection of both the nucleogenic aliens she once helped to capture and kill...and her own conflicted mind.
Marla reveals the true nature of the star to her shipmates, but Janeway decides in favor of maintaining the status quo for now and urging the aliens to resolve the matter after the immediate danger has passed. When it becomes clear that the aliens have no intention of ever freeing the living star, however, Marla sees that she has a choice: she can obey orders and bolster her redemption in the crew's eyes, or she can follow her heart and release the star from its suffering, setting back her own return to grace or wrecking it forever.
After much soul-searching, she decides to side with the sun. She sabotages the stabilization grid, freeing the star from its captivity; in return, the star agrees to hold back the impending nova long enough for the aliens to evacuate the system.
Back on Voyager, Marla is thrown in the brig and admonished by Janeway. Her future is more uncertain than ever...but she feels that the cloud that had been over her since her Equinox days has finally lifted. Instead of blindly following orders and seeking validation in the approval of others, she has begun to forge her own path, guided by her conscience. Envisioning the nova that will soon burst into being, she feels liberated and at peace with herself.
FAIL CALL: Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Soulstice" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! To my surprise, the editor at Pocket didn't like this one either. So I took another swing, this time with a Seven of Nine/Chakotay tale called "Our First Date." With this story, I planned to explore an event that was never shown on screen during the TV series: Seven and Chakotay's first date.
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Our First Date" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
"Our First Date" (set between "Natural Law" and "Endgame")
While passing through an asteroid belt, Voyager is disabled by gravimetric distortions from an alien outpost. The ship's systems are mostly fried, leaving just enough power to beam Chakotay and Seven to the outpost. While looking for the cause of the distortions, Chakotay and Seven find two corpses at opposite ends of the outpost, an alien male and female. Mysterious devices detach from the corpses' chests and affix themselves to Chakotay and Seven. The devices turn out to be explosives; if Chakotay and Seven get anywhere near each other, they will detonate. Chakotay and Seven must find a way to defuse the bombs and end the gravimetric distortions...all while staying as far apart as possible.
As Chakotay and Seven get to work, they encounter two adolescent aliens, a boy and a girl, of the same species as the corpses. The young aliens, Kik and Limi, don't have many answers, unfortunately; they say that they have lived on the outpost all their lives and have been on their own since their guardians, Perg and Tana (whose bodies Chakotay and Seven found) passed away. Though they don't provide much information, the adolescents help Chakotay and Seven to access the outpost's records and locate the source of the gravimetric distortions.
Searching the records, Chakotay and Seven learn that the explosive devices were used by the alien species to keep forbidden lovers apart. Perg and Tana were barred from being together because they came from different castes. In defiance of their families, Perg and Tana left their homeworld to man the outpost; though they could never touch, they lived out their lives being as close to each other as they could rather than find other mates.
Perg and Tana's story affects Chakotay and Seven emotionally. As they work, they keep finding traces of the tragic couple—photos, video, poetry. The stress of the situation (Voyager is counting down to complete power and life support failure) and the fact that they are forced to stay apart, talking only by communicator and passing items back and forth via the boy and girl, bring out a hidden attraction. Kik and Limi help matters along, telling Chakotay and Seven that they belong together.
Eventually, Chakotay and Seven figure out how to stop the gravimetric distortions...but they need to be in the same room to do it, which is impossible because of the bombs. Kik and Limi solve the problem by transferring the bombs onto themselves. Chakotay and Seven repair the device that was emanating the distortions and save Voyager. It turns out that the device was arranging asteroids in the aliens' symbol for "love"; Perg set it in motion after Tana's death, creating a memorial to their love that would appear every night in the sky above their homeworld.
That wasn't the only thing that Perg and Tana left behind, either. Kik and Limi are clones of Perg and Tana, meant to grow up with the chance to be together that Perg and Tana never had. The Doctor manages to remove the bombs from the clones' bodies, giving them back their chance at love.
After sharing their intense experience on the outpost, Chakotay and Seven decide to explore the possibility of romance. They declare their time on the outpost as their first date; that way, they've gotten all the awkwardness and things going wrong out of the way...and had a first date that they will never forget.
FAIL CALL: Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Our First Date" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! The editor didn't like this one, either...though he did like the idea of depicting Seven and Chakotay's first date. So I tried again with this one, building a different pitch around the same basic idea. This one was titled "Love Is Not Irrelevant."
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Love Is Not I
rrelevant" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
FLASHBACK: During "Scorpion," Chakotay orders the "Borg deck" decompressed, effectively ordering pre-humanized Seven of Nine's death...but she holds on in a Jefferies tube and survives. (POV: 3rd person omniscient.)
FLASH FORWARD: Seven and Chakotay sit by a campfire with a sleeping child and watch the most gorgeous sunset imaginable, rippling with curtains of color like Earth's Northern Lights. Chakotay reaches for her hand. "What about love?" he says. "Love is irrelevant," she says. He smiles and squeezes her hand more tightly. "Wrong again," he says, and then he moves closer... (POV: 3rd person omniscient.)
BACK: Two days before scene 2. POV: Seven, 3rd person. Time: between "Natural Law" and "Endgame." Seven and Chakotay negotiate with a trader, Loquio, onboard his vessel for maps to guide VOYAGER through the Melee, a treacherous region of the Delta Quadrant. Loquio seems refined, intelligent, and charming.
After making the deal, Seven and Chakotay are on their way out of Loquio's landing bay when they find two stowaways onboard their shuttle. One is a young boy named Lumen (human equivalent 7-8 years old). Lumen begs them to take him with them. He is of a different alien species than Loquio. He says that Loquio abducted him from his homeworld and has been holding him prisoner. The bruises on his body and the marks of cords around his wrists and ankles support his story. Further, he has an infant with him and claims that she is his baby sister, Stilla. Lumen says that he and Stilla are the children of royalty, and a war will erupt if they aren't returned home as fast as possible. Chakotay wants to question Loquio, but Seven presses him to help the boy escape immediately. She was abducted by the Borg and empathizes with the child. Chakotay agrees, and they leave Loquio's vicinity at top speed.
BACK: Three years earlier. Chakotay and Seven share childhood memories in "One Small Step."
FORWARD: Onboard the shuttle again. POV: Chakotay, 3rd person. Chakotay and Seven ask Lumen how to find his home. Lumen knows the planet's name, Sagra, but not the coordinates. He does remember a song, however, that includes details about Sagra's solar system: the sun is yellow, twelve planets orbit it, and Sagra has two moons. Based on star charts in the shuttle's database, Seven finds three planets within two days' flight that fit the description. Instead of heading for any of those planets, Chakotay sets course for the nearest inhabited world to try to narrow down their destination.
BACK: One year earlier. Chakotay saves Seven's life, rescuing her from a gas-filled cargo bay. (Season six, "The Haunting of Deck Twelve.")
FORWARD: Back on the shuttle with the children. POV: Seven, 3rd person. Chakotay asks Lumen what else he remembers about his homeworld, and Lumen describes it as a beautiful paradise. Lumen talks about the royal palace where he and Stilla live, with all its luxuries and riches. Then, Stilla begins to cry. Seven, who has been holding the baby, becomes flustered; she has had no experience with an infant like this. Chakotay, on the other hand, is a natural. He quickly realizes the child needs a fresh diaper, then fashions one out of available materials and applies it. As he tends the baby and stops it from crying, Seven feels a rush of affection for him.
BACK: Seven helps the injured Chakotay in "Natural Law."
FORWARD: Back on the shuttle. POV: Chakotay, 3rd person. In orbit around the planet Pyra, Chakotay asks for directions to Lumen's homeworld, Sagra. The Pyrans give him coordinates...but Loquio's ship shows up and attacks the shuttle. Loquio demands that Chakotay and Seven hand over his "property," the children. Chakotay responds with a tricky maneuver that disables Loquio's ship.
POV: Seven of Nine, 3rd person. As the shuttle heads for Sagra, Lumen talks about how much he misses his family and how worried he is that the war has already torn apart his homeworld. Soon, he is in tears. Chakotay talks him through his fears, then takes his mind off things by tickling him, making him laugh and squirm. Seven is reminded of what made her first realize that she had feelings of affection toward Chakotay...
BACK. POV: Seven of Nine, 3rd person. Time: a month before "Human Error" (season 7). ("Six months earlier...") Naomi Wildman is telling Seven jokes in the Astrometrics room, trying to get her to laugh. As always, Seven does not laugh. Chakotay enters just as Naomi is leaving, saying, "I give up. See if you can get her to laugh." "I just might take you up on that," says Chakotay. "Laughter is irrelevant," says Seven.
Continued from scene 12. One week after Naomi failed to make Seven laugh, Chakotay rings Seven's door chime, and she is annoyed. He has made it his mission to get her to laugh, but his jokes and comedy videos have had no effect. When Seven opens the door, she sees that Chakotay is wearing a blinking red clown nose. Though she makes a typically deadpan remark about the nose, she doesn't laugh. Chakotay takes it off and says that he is giving up. As he turns to leave, however, he stops and says that he has one more thing left to try. He makes her promise not to hit him, which puzzles and exasperates her...and then he tickles her. The tickling seems to have no effect, and Chakotay finally stops. "You can't say I didn't try," he says, and then he leaves. As soon as the door shuts, however, Seven actually laughs out loud. It is then that she sees him in a new light, because he made her laugh, because he let down his usual professional reserve to do it, and because he cared enough to take an interest in her.
FORWARD. Back to the shuttle. POV: Chakotay, 3rd person. Lumen has fallen asleep, but Stilla is crying. Seven rocks her and sings a lullaby that her mother used to sing to her. Chakotay watches and listens...and is struck by the sight of her singing the child to sleep. He has never seen her quite like this before. She gets the lyrics wrong in places, but the flaws just make her seem more human and endearing to him.
POV: Seven, 3rd person. The shuttle enters orbit around Sagra. Chakotay tries to contact the king and queen...only to learn that Sagra doesn't have a king and queen. Sheepishly, Lumen gives Chakotay directions to his true home.
POV: Chakotay, 3rd person. The shuttle passes over Lumen's true home, which turns out to be a rundown farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Lumen admits that he lied because he was afraid Chakotay and Seven wouldn't help him if they knew he was nobody special. While taking readings of the farmhouse, Chakotay asks Lumen how many people live there. Lumen says that only his mother and father should be inside. Because the sensors show five lifeforms in the house, and three of them are not Sagrans, Chakotay does not land near the farmhouse. His suspicions are further confirmed when he detects Loquio's ship not far away: Loquio and his people have headed off the shuttle and taken Lumen's parents hostage. Chakotay and Seven decide to land some distance away and make camp for the night.
POV: Seven, 3rd person. The next morning, Chakotay and Seven sneak up on Lumen's farmhouse. They use the shuttle, operated by remote control, as a distraction. Chakotay has the baby strapped to his back papoose-style, and Lumen follows Seven. Together, they free the hostages, reunite Lumen's family, and take Loquio and his men captive. After receiving Lumen's parents' gratitude and saying goodbye, Chakotay and Seven walk off toward the shuttle...and he takes her hand. Seven remembers that something changed between them the night before, around the campfire...
BACK to scene 2, which is set between scenes 16 and 17. On the night before going after Loquio, Seven and Chakotay sit by a campfire and watch the most beautiful sunset imaginable. Lumen sleeps between them; the incredible sunset is the one detail about his home that he didn't lie about. The baby is asleep in Seven's arms. Chakotay and Seven talk about how beautiful the child is...and Chakotay says that Seven looks beautiful holding her. POV: Chakotay, 1st person, interweaving with Seven, 1st person. The conversation turns to the subject of love, which Seven says is irrelevant...but they end up kissing for the first time anyway.
FAIL CALL: Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "Love Is Not Irrelevant" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! The editor asked for another try at this one.
So I gave it to him. This time, the story developed into a proposal titled "To Be Continued."
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Shores: "To Be Continued" – F
AIL or UNFAIL?
Chakotay and Seven have landed a shuttle on the surface of a Class-M planet. (Time: Between the episodes "Natural Law" and "Endgame.") They have come on an away mission in search of the Sagra, a people who reportedly can supply them with detailed maps of a treacherous region of space. Sagran maps are said to be surprisingly accurate though compiled from land-based astronomical observations. The Sagra, however, seem to have all but vanished.
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