by Jen Talty
“Why did you?”
“Because of how she died. I needed to remember the two sides of Erin. I believe it’s important, and I know she never wanted me to forget the complicated parts of her. She and I talked about her illness. About her depression. But she lied to me and to herself.” Reid wiped a tear that rolled down the side of his face. “In the end, I thought she had it under control, but I listened to Preston. To his family. I didn’t listen to my heart. To what my soul told me was true, and that was that Erin was in trouble.”
“Do you know that I’ve never seen Preston use any emotion when he speaks of his sister?”
“They really weren’t close.”
“Was that because he was ashamed of her mental illness?”
“Her entire family was. They still are. I’d never experienced anyone with that kind of depression before. I didn’t understand it or the emotional rollercoaster she put me on, and I had no one to talk to. Preston wouldn’t listen. Her parents just thought she was moody. When she died, I felt like I had failed her because I did what everyone else had done in her life and pretended she wasn’t suicidal.”
“She never told you she wanted to die, did she?”
Reid shook his head. “She told me all the time, but I thought because she either failed at doing it before I met her, or because she hadn’t tried when we were dating that it was just her illness. But deep down I knew how badly she wanted the pain to end. And to this day, her family still won’t acknowledge what she did or how she felt. And Preston destroyed the proof.”
“What proof?” She set the tablet on the nightstand and rolled to her side. “There’s proof that Erin killed herself? You never told me she left a note.”
“She kept a journal, and she wrote her thoughts in it. Preston got rid of it.”
“How do you know? What did he do with it?”
“It was on her computer. I read about a month’s worth of her ramblings. It nearly killed me that I’d had no idea what kind of suffering she was going through every day and how hard she tried to be happy, for me. She wanted so much to be normal for me. She thought killing herself would give me a chance at having the kind of life I deserved.” He ran his thumb over Darcie’s cheek, his skin dampened from her tears.
“I’m so sorry for the things I said about your feelings for Erin.”
“Don’t be.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “When you and I first hooked up, I did use Erin as a way to protect myself. I did it with all women because I never wanted to hurt that bad again. But as time went on, and I fell in love with you, I realized that the biggest reason I didn’t let go of Erin wasn’t because of guilt, it was because she gave me strength. Erin was a special woman, and I’ll always want to honor her life, just not in the way Preston wants me to.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “He’s using my love and grief for his sister to manipulate me.”
“He’s been doing that for ten years. I’m sorry. I’ve seen it and I should have said something.”
Reid blinked. His heart beat so fast, he thought it might jump right out of his chest. “When you came into the picture, I stopped letting him manipulate me as much. Then I went crazy when we broke up and I did leave him holding the bag.”
“So that gives him the right to push you out of your own company?” She wrapped her arm around his middle and slipped her knee between his legs. Her petite yet firm body molded to his like a pair of leather driving gloves.
“Of course not. But he lost his sister. They might not have been as close as you and your siblings, but her death still changed him fundamentally. And weirdly, I suppose he blames me or some weird shit. I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure what and why.”
“But you’re not responsible for him, which is what you’ve been doing ever since she died. You’ve made excuses for him and all but catered to his every whim.”
“Until I fell in love with you,” Reid said. “And since then, he’s been working on getting rid of me.”
“I didn’t like him when we were dating. I dislike him even more now.”
He pulled her tight to his chest, running his hands up and down her back. It had been so long since he’d held her, and it felt as though he’d come home. “I never understood why he didn’t want us together, other than I believe he saw the writing on the wall.”
“And what writing was that?”
“I wanted to take the company in a different direction.”
“Like how?”
“I love developing products that will keep people safe. This fire suit we’re working on could really change things for firefighters across the nation. I want to focus on partnerships like that. But it takes time, patience, and money. Preston wants to focus on the extreme sports like the stunt movies, but he’s always cutting corners, and I’m afraid it will end up costing lives just to make a few million when he’s already got plenty of money. When is enough enough?”
“Ten million? Twenty?”
He cocked his head back.
She shrugged. “Sorry. It’s very different when you’re below deck and have always had to work for a living. And I’m not judging the fact that you were born with money. It’s not like my family was poor, but what you’re going to give us for a tip was the down payment for my sailboat.”
“It’s not about the money anymore for me. Nor is it about the thrill. It is about honoring Erin in a way and doing something good with what used to be my stupidity.”
Darcie pressed her hand to the center of his chest and smiled. “Being in your cabin right now is about one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. Milia is probably sneaking around the boat, wondering where I am, and that might give this crew something to talk about.”
“I think they already are. And I’ve seen the cabins you have to sleep in. I’d be claustrophobic, not to mention the shower and toilet being in the same space. I don’t know how you do it.”
“This coming from a man who has slept on the side of a cliff for shits and giggles.” She kissed his neck. “Our lifestyles aren’t all that different when you think about them. We are both motivated by the need to feel something flow through our bodies. Yet we don’t ever really allow ourselves to feel what is important.”
“I feel everything when I’m with you.” He inhaled the sweet scent of her vanilla and strawberry shampoo. He missed the long, leisurely nights he’d spent with her in his arms as they stared at the stars and listened to the night sounds. When he met her, it’d been a time in his life where he’d been coming out of a fog, figuring out who he really was and what he wanted. He’d wandered through his adolescence with no real guidance from his parents. He’d been a rich kid with a credit card. Thankfully, he had a nanny with a conscience.
He kissed Darcie’s cheek. Her temple. And then moved to her plump, adorable lips that tasted like bananas and peaches.
“We should probably start looking at the emails and stuff,” he whispered.
“Do you think it’s all downloaded by now?” she asked as she pressed her breasts against him, raising her leg just a little higher.
He reached over her and snagged the tablet. “Eighty-six percent done, so we have maybe a half-hour.”
She lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. It landed on his laptop, shifting it, closing the lid. “Oops,” she said, straddling him. “That gives us just enough time.”
“Considering the last time I had sex with a woman was with you, we might be lucky if I last an eighth of that time.” He gripped her hips, holding her steady. He truly was terrified that it might be over before he even got out of the gate. He groaned when she bit down on her lower lip.
“You’re joking,” she said.
“Nope.”
“So, either I need to take your instant reaction as you’re really happy to see me, or you’re just happy to see anyone.”
He reached up and quickly unclasped her bra, letting the straps roll off her sexy shoulders. He traced a path over her small, perky breast. He palmed them both before flicki
ng her nipples, making them tighten and pucker.
She arched her back, rolling her hips a little to the left and then a little to the right.
His toes curled, and he did his best to ignore the pleasure she brought him and focus instead on the hard nubs under his fingers. He raised up and held one nipple close to his mouth. He licked his lips, letting the tip of his tongue gently stroke across her soft skin.
She took a long breath, lifting her boob closer to his mouth.
He teased her again, this time with his teeth, barely touching her.
“Do I need to feed it to you?” She grabbed his face. Her breath came in short, choppy pants.
He glanced between her hot gaze and her hard nipple. He pinched it before sucking it into his mouth. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rolled her to her back and settled between her legs, switching from one tantalizing nipple to the other, making sure they were both properly assaulted.
She tugged and yanked at his shirt.
Reluctantly, he rocked back on his knees, ditching his top. “Whoa.” He looked down as she planted her warm lips on his stomach.
Her fingertips dipped inside his shorts.
For two seconds, he thought about stopping her, but then she blinked, staring up at him with her mesmerizing blue eyes that held him captive.
She could be torturing him right now and he wouldn’t care.
He swallowed.
Hard.
Standing at the edge of the bed, his fingers in her hair, watching her touch him in ways he’d thought would never happen again, he realized he’d never be able to let her go.
It would kill him.
“Come here.”
She kissed her way up his stomach, over his chest, and to his mouth. His tongue greeted hers with a fiery passion. Quickly, he removed the rest of her clothing and shoved her back onto the bed.
A little too harshly as she banged the headboard.
She laughed. “My turn, cowboy.” She sucked on her index finger before gliding it across her opening, dipping it inside and then bringing it back to her mouth. “Mmmm.”
“I could just stand here and watch.” He grabbed himself and stroked once.
“We’ve tried that before. You can’t handle it.” Her pink tongue glided up her middle finger and then down her index finger. She took both and shoved them inside herself, sliding in and out while her other hand pinched her nipple and she smiled wickedly. Her chest heaved up and down, and her breathing became erratic.
He let go of himself and crawled on the bed. “You’re right. I can’t handle it, and it takes you longer.”
“We don’t know that.”
He chuckled. “I bet I can make you come in less than three minutes.”
“I’d kind of like it to last a little longer than that.”
He took her hand and sucked on her fingers. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure it happens at least one more time.”
“You better.”
While their relationship had been riddled with misunderstandings, arguments, and meddling from others, they had always been perfect in intimate moments.
And not just sex, though he had never had any complaints in that department.
He slipped his fingers inside and ran his tongue over her hard nub. She tasted like sweet nectarines with a touch of honey. He found the spot that made her hips sink into the mattress.
She dug her fingers into his shoulders. “Oh God, yes.”
Holding her stomach, he continued swirling his tongue, nibbling with his teeth each time she moaned, timing it with the rolling of her hips.
Her belly quivered. Her knees slammed into the sides of his face. “Oh. My. God.”
He loved the way her body moved as it convulsed with pleasure.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
“Gladly.”
She arched, accepting him inside. “I’ve missed you.” She wrapped her arms and legs around him, digging her heels into the backs of his thighs. Their tongues followed the same rhythm as the rest of their motions.
“Yes. Yes,” she whispered, grinding her hips. “Please. Now.”
He growled, slipping his hand between their bodies and finding the spot that would send her over the edge. He rubbed gently, flicking his finger left and right moving in a small circle while trying desperately not to let his climax explode before her second one coated him.
He held his lower body as still as he could, but she wiggled her hips, shimmying this way and that way. He wasn’t sure if it was to help his hand or if she wanted him deeper inside, but she was about to get both. Breaking off the kiss, he raised his chest, giving himself a little more room to work his magic. He pressed his lips over her nipple.
“Oh, Reid. Yes.”
He pumped, losing all control as his climax merged with hers in a powerful expulsion. All he could think about was that he had to have broken the condom.
Only he wasn’t wearing one.
He collapsed to the side, holding her tightly as he worked to catch his breath.
His computer dinged.
“I think the download is done,” he said.
“Perfect timing.”
He chuckled, taking her chin with his thumb and index finger. “How’s the timing with birth control?”
“What do you mean?”
“We didn’t use protection.”
“Oh, shit. I’m not currently taking any birth control, and I would say our timing might be a little too skewed in the wrong direction.”
“Well, nothing we can do about it now. We’ll just have to wait it out.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you still against having children?”
“I never said I didn’t want them. I just said I didn’t see how they fit in my life.”
“And now?”
“I’m not against them.” She rolled to her stomach. “I’m struggling with what I want to do with my life. I’m taking my captain’s test, and I want to captain a superyacht at least once in my life, but I don’t know if I want to be forty years old and catering to a bunch of rich drunks while babysitting immature idiots.”
“Yeah. That doesn’t sound all that appealing. But what would you do if you didn’t captain a superyacht?”
“I had planned on taking the time on this charter to evaluate my career choices, but I’ve been distracted.”
“I know that feeling,” he said. “But if you had to make a decision right this second, what would it be?”
“Well. If I got to captain for say a year, I think maybe teaching. I was offered a position managing the marina and running the sailing school. I could see myself doing something like that in a few years.”
“Looks like you have a plan.”
Chapter 9
Darcie arched her back and twisted left and right. Her cell showed three-thirty in the morning. They’d been at this for a few hours, and she wasn’t sure if she was going down the wrong road, but as she arranged the cryptic conversations and the dates they had been exchanged, a thought formed in her head and it pissed her right the fuck off. “I found something disturbing in these emails with Jim.”
“What’s that?” Reid stood behind her and dug his finger into her shoulders and neck, massaging gently, but firmly.
She dropped her head and closed her eyes for a long moment, letting the tension ease out of her muscles. Being with Reid again only added to her confusion on what to do with her life. She had no life skills outside of yachting. Perhaps her father might have had a point about college and having a backup plan, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.
Though the more she thought about teaching, the more she liked it.
But she would give being captain a good year.
Maybe two.
Depending on the boats and the crew. But she knew beyond that, her career path needed a shakeup.
“The very first one I found is dated six months ago. Based on the language, it seems obvious they had prior communication, but perhaps not through this email. Anyway, the email reads: She’s agr
eed.”
“That’s it? And that’s from Jim?”
“Yes. But what I find interesting is that is right around the time Jim called me out of the blue and asked me to come work for him.”
“So, you think him saying she’s agreed is him referencing you?”
She pulled up a couple of the emails and pointed to the screen. “All of these coincide with my timelines for the two vessels I’ve been on with Jim since you and I broke up. In this one, Jim tells Preston that she’s right where they want her. And in this one, which is dated two months ago, Jim tells Preston not to worry, that he’s already cleared the surprise charter, and Preston responded back with, and I quote: Good. This will be fun to see how it all plays out and which story will end up being printed.”
“That’s weird.”
She lifted her gaze. “They’ve also been planning this for months. As in, Jim used me right from the get-go. I was always part of whatever this plan is.”
The rosy color in Reid’s cheeks drained as his jaw slackened.
“Us meeting wasn’t a chance encounter,” she said.
“They’ve been playing us from day one, and it’s not just me he’s going to destroy. He’s going to get you, too,” Reid said. “I’m going to fucking kill both of them.” He took two large steps toward the door.
“Fuck. No.” She bolted from the chair and charged to the front of the cabin. She flattened her back against the wood.
“Get out of my way.”
“I will not,” she said. “Confronting them now isn’t going to help us, especially out here at sea. If Preston doesn’t know we have any of this information, it will give us some time to form a plan. Besides, if we can find anything illegal in these documents, my brother, Matt, and Asher will be all over that shit.”
“You expect me to just sit out there, drink beer, ride jet skis and pretend like I don’t know any of this? I’m not that good of an actor.”
“You’re going to have to be.”
“Fucking-A.” He smashed his fist into his hand. “Someone needs to tell that fiancée of Jim’s that she’s marrying a dirtbag.”