“You mean, alone?” Ellie asked, tearing her eyes from the scenery.
“No, of course not,” Julian assured her, unable to keep a chuckle from escaping at the expression on her face. “I’ll stay with you, but this would be good practice for displacing your pulse trail without my assistance.”
“Okay, but how…?” she began, but trailed off as she realized she had the information she needed. Just like space travel, it seemed pulse travel was one of those things she now just inherently knew, even if she didn’t quite understand the mechanics of how she knew just yet.
Ellie took Julian’s hand and gave him a wink before guiding them somewhat shakily out of the mountains. She reached out for a safe place to stop and directed their path into the Peruvian jungle. From there she hopped to the bustling streets of Sydney, and then on to the frenzy of Tokyo’s Shibuya district.
But as she was reaching out in her mind to find the next energy field, Ellie felt an incredible urge to return to the Arctic. She ignored it and took them in the very opposite direction, reaching for a natural source of radiation on an island just off the coast of Antarctica that somehow felt familiar. Still, the compulsion persisted and she communicated this to Julian, whose expression suddenly went dark with worry.
“We’ll be returning soon enough. Perhaps you should bring us back to New York so that we may regroup and discuss a rational plan.”
With a nod, Ellie pulled them away, setting her sites on a giant, ugly, and loud substation she was all too familiar with on New York’s east side.
“Thank heaven for small favors,” Ellie said with a nervous chuckle as she glanced at the smokestacks rising up over the wall they faced. They had come to a stop in the small, dingy courtyard of a rundown apartment building.
Julian frowned at the unattractive brick building that Ellie and dozens of other New Yorkers called home. “This is your apartment.”
“Is it? I never would have known,” Ellie said with a sarcastic smile as she reached into her pocket, breathing a sigh of relief when her fingers closed around the knobbly bulk of her keychain.
She punched in the code that let them into the dimly lit hallway and headed for the stairs, not trusting the ancient elevator. On the fifth floor, she stopped in front of a door that looked like it hadn’t had a fresh coat of paint in over fifty years, and bowed dramatically before inserting the key in the lock.
“Welcome to my humble abode.”
Chapter 11
Coming home had been a mistake. Ellie pushed open the door and for the briefest moment, allowed herself the illusion that everything was normal. The apartment was filled with reminders of her mundane and boring life, from the cereal bowl that still sat on the table to the note on the fridge reminding her to pick up more milk. But instead of providing comfort, Ellie’s stomach tightened at the sight of it. All she wanted to do was put the cereal bowl in the sink, apologize to Julian for having to see her apartment in its less than spotless condition, and plan what she was going to binge watch on her lazy, exam-free start of summer holiday.
But everything wasn’t normal and as the tears she could not fight blurred her surroundings, Ellie wondered what possessed her to come home in the first place.
“Ellie…” Julian’s hand went automatically for hers, transmitting a calming and serene influence, but Ellie pulled away as if burned.
“Please don’t do that,” she said sharply, turning away with a sigh of frustration.
“I’m sorry.” Julian drew his hands to his sides. “I understand why you might feel uncomfortable with communicated influence, but I’m afraid I don’t understand your sudden emotional turmoil, or what purpose coming to your apartment served.”
“I just needed a moment to myself, okay?” Ellie’s frustration was quickly rising. “We just came back from outer space. I’m still trying to wrap my head around that and going straight to my mom or even back to Vito’s would mean facing the reality that my life is pretty out of sorts at the moment. I just wanted to ground myself in the familiar before leaping directly into the unknown. I just… I didn’t expect something as stupid as a dirty dish would set me off.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing, Julian,” Ellie said with a sigh. “You can’t do anything and I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“El’iadrylline, I’ve sworn—”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Julian! I may have finally accepted our weird bond or whatever, but understand that I did so simply because I don’t want Mom or anyone else mistreating you. You swore to protect me and I grudgingly accept your protection, but I’m afraid there’s no assassinating a good old-fashioned bad mood.”
She turned and stalked off to the bedroom, needing to put space between them. Unfortunately, space was not something her tiny apartment afforded, especially when Julian followed.
“Ellie, I’ve no way to make you see the difference when you’ve erected your own stubborn mental block on the subject, but you need to understand something.”
He stood in the doorway, allowing her to retreat into the tiny bedroom, but staying close enough to keep her from running. She moved to the window and stared out at the bleak view of the power plant.
“And what is that?”
“Just because I swore to protect you doesn’t mean I am obligated to care. You control me…”
“Julian—” she began but he cut her off.
“No, El’iadrylline, you’re going to listen to me this time,” he said in a sharper tone than she’d ever heard him use before. “You may order me to fight for you, to do your bidding, to protect you, and even to die for you. I am yours to command. Like it or not, this is bigger than the both of us. But my concerns are my own.”
“I don’t understand.”
“El’iadrylline,” Julian sighed and took a tentative step into the room, still careful to give her all the space she needed. “No command, be it hard coded into our genetic makeup or imprinted upon me by my true master, can make me feel anything. I’m obligated to protect you, but I am not required to have an emotional stance or even like you for that matter, and yet, I find I do care and I do like you. Your bad mood as you call it affects me because I do not wish to see you distressed. Can you accept that my concern and my need to shield you from that which hurts you is not an artificial construct?”
She stood frozen for a moment, staring out over the substation, the counterargument she’d intended to make felt like a weight on her tongue. Julian cared for her. Admittedly, there’d been nothing in his words or tone to insinuate exactly what that meant, but the ambiguity was enough to spark yet another flutter of emotion. Emotion that was still inappropriate and ill-timed.
She pushed back, acknowledging instead the torrent of fears, insecurities, disappointments, and anxieties that edged her mind. All the while, the Kyroibi made its presence known. It thrummed in her subconscious, keeping the turmoil from overtaking her completely. She was at once grateful for the ability to keep a level head, but apprehensive. There was no denying it. The power within her had been building steadily ever since their return.
She turned from the window, intending to ask Julian what it meant, but as she did, her shoulder jarred the edge of an overstuffed shelf above her desk, sending an avalanche of books, pictures, art supplies, and one stuffed toy robot tumbling to the floor.
“Oh, bloody hell!”
Ellie bent down to sort out the mess just as Julian did the same. “Don’t worry, I got this,” she muttered, cursing the loss of her favorite pencil box when she noticed the wooden lid had split in two. “It was my fault for putting a shelf there in the first… place.” When Julian didn’t respond, she glanced over and cursed again as her stomach dropped to her toes. He sat back on his heels, holding in his hands a sketchbook. Not just any sketchbook, but the one Ellie had filled in the summer before her senior year of high school.
“You drew this?”
Julian’s voice was soft, but held a note of awe.
“Um… yeah. I
was just… well, this was back in high school, you see…” she stammered, feeling her cheeks flare with embarrassment.
“Even more incredible,” Julian said with a low whistle. “I didn’t know you had a passion for art. The amount of detail you put into this is astounding. I can easily recognize the landscape and the barn as the dairy farm we pass on our way to the lake.”
“Barn?” The knot in her stomach loosened slightly and she looked up. Julian sank cross legged on the floor, the sketchbook open on his lap. Ellie heaved a pile of books onto her desk and cleared a space next to him. Relief washed over her as she saw the familiar landscape near Schenectady.
“Oh! Yes,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I remember that. It was right before you came along. We had run out of gas and I sat on the fence, sketching the barn while waiting for roadside assistance. Here, let me show you another…”
She reached with nervous hands for the book, but she was too late. Julian had already turned the page. The knot inside her tightened again. She held her breath, feeling the blaze of embarrassment spelled out in brilliant flares of light as his hand hovered over the drawing. The first of many that he was never intended to see.
“When was this?”
“Uh, s-same s-s-summer,” she managed to stammer out. “In… P-Paris.”
“You’re uncomfortable?”
“I was… that is… I had a… I was sixteen, Julian,” she said at last, chiding herself for being unreasonable. She had done the drawings four years prior and should have been able to laugh about it. “I… I had a crush on you when I drew those,” she said at last, giving him a sheepish smile. “That’s why I’m uncomfortable. Most of the rest of the book… um… is you. I didn’t want you to freak out.”
He looked momentarily surprised by this, but said nothing, turning to the next page, then another, studying each drawing with an intensity that gnawed at Ellie’s insides. He paused on one of the drawings, staring at it for a moment before letting out a small chuckle.
“I remember this day,” he said, pointing at the portrait. In it, Julian stood in the garden at the Whitmore’s villa in southern France. His suit jacket hung on the back of a chair and his tie was loosened. He had one hand on his hip and the other ran through his hair, making it stick up in messy spikes. He and Nicolette, Isa’s other assistant, had been arguing about a scheduling conflict when he stormed out into the garden to make a phone call.
It was a rare moment of vulnerability and in her smitten state, Ellie had taken full advantage. An unforgivable invasion of privacy, she realized now, but it remained one of her favorite portraits of him.
“I don’t recall seeing you in the garden that day.”
“I made sure you didn’t,” she said with a grimace. “I was sketching flowers. When you came out, I hid myself in the grape arbor and started drawing. Creepy, I know. I probably should have given you your privacy, but I’ll remind you that I was a teenager. I didn’t understand boundaries.”
“I don’t find it creepy at all,” he said with a slight frown. “Though you flatter me, Ellie. There’s a beauty in your work that I don’t deserve. I look at this and see artful contemplation, not a beleaguered assistant frantically trying to fix another’s negligence.”
“It’s not flattery, you’re just…” Ellie felt the diodes flare and wondered who was putting out more energy, her, or the substation across the street. “Well you have an unfair advantage, don’t you?” She laughed nervously. “I mean, you got to pick your appearance, right? Of course you’d be beautiful, although… I daresay…” Ellie faltered. Already she’d said more than she should have, but it didn’t matter. She’d passed the point of keeping her emotions hidden. “Your disguise is nothing compared to your true beauty,” she finished in a rushed half-whisper, knowing her face was aglow with undisguised emotion.
Warning alarms sounded within Julian’s head. He’d told Ellie the truth. His vow ensured that he would protect her from harm, but it could not make him care for her. He’d only meant to convey a measure of compassion, but Julian could no more lie to himself than he could his true master. The new feelings were not simply unwanted, but dangerous.
“My creation was cold, sterile, and entirely self-serving,” he said, closing the sketchbook with a loud clap. “Do not confuse a perfection of design with beauty.”
Julian’s icy words were mirrored by the chill that settled over Ellie’s heart. She didn’t know what to expect from her confession, but this sudden shift in demeanor was not it.
“Cold? Sterile?” she asked, picking up the discarded book, opening to another drawing. This one was of Julian laughing. “Yes, clearly you’re nothing more than a heartless machine.”
“El’iadrylline, forgive me. My words were not intended as a dismissal of your feelings.” He stared down at the picture in question before gracing her with a rueful smile. “Though certainly, it would be easier if I could.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?” Ellie asked, turning away to hide her embarrassment. How foolish, she thought, and wondered what possessed her to admit to the feelings she knew were not just inappropriate, but likely had done irreparable damage to their relationship.
The soft touch of fingertips on her cheek startled her. The sketchbook slipped from her hands as Julian gently turned her head back to face his. Although unaffected by his eyes, which were a safe shade of brown anyway, Ellie found herself unable to look away.
“True beauty is a creation of love, not diabolical engineering,” he whispered, leaning in closer. “I was created to think, not to feel. To protect and exact vengeance as my master commands. A heartless machine, as you say, is exactly what I am supposed to be. And yet, El’iadrylline, just the sound of your name stirs within me the very emotions that should have been forbidden.”
Ellie’s own emotions stirred, matching the pounding of her heart, and manifested into a whirlwind of confusion so strong she actually felt as if she was standing in the middle of a storm. But as the pressure in the room dropped, Ellie realized she was standing in the middle of a storm, both physical and metaphorical. Her breath caught in her throat as her sketchbooks scattered in the strong breeze.
With a faint pop, the wind died abruptly. A tall and willowy woman with skin just a shade darker than Julian’s appeared in Ellie’s bedroom.
“El’iadrylline. Thank the stars! When my transmitter stopped reporting your whereabouts, I assumed the worst.”
Ellie stood with her jaw on the floor, rendered speechless by the woman’s appearance. She was a good head taller than Ellie, standing equal in height to Julian. Where his hair was midnight black, hers was streaked with pale blue strands that seemed to glitter iridescently. The diodes on her left hand pulsed with a soft, inviting light. Too inviting.
Before she could be lured closer, Julian stepped between them and drew a thin and deadly looking needle-like weapon seemingly out of thin air. In a flash, he had the weapon pointed at the woman’s neck.
“What are you doing here, Andressa?”
“Andressa?” Ellie asked, but neither were now paying her any mind.
“You are understandably mistaken, Julian.” She held out her hand, the one that pulsed with the soft glow, and Ellie was again drawn closer. But it was Julian that stepped forward, weapon still poised to strike, and touched his fingertips to the woman’s palm. The transmitted information was impossible, and yet, irrefutable.
“Dryova?”
The woman nodded.
“But that would mean Andressa is…”
“Andressa was my burden to bear,” she said with a deep sigh. “Oh Julian, if only my son had informed me of his plans, I might have been able to take a more active role in preparing El’iadrylline for what’s to come. I suppose there is no point to dwelling, nor is there time.”
“Your son?” Ellie asked, though automatically she knew and even accepted what had not yet been said.
“Yes, El’iadrylline, I am your grandmother. And the reason you were forced into ex
ile.”
"My... You what?”
"I'm sorry," Dryova went on with another dramatic sigh. “You have no idea how upset I was to learn the measures my son had taken to protect our legacy. I’d at least hoped he left you some indication of who you were. Nevertheless, I am here and I will make sure you understand the truth about me, about your heritage, and the important role we will play in the future of our people."
"Perhaps you should start with what you are doing here," Julian suggested. He had sheathed his weapon, but remained on alert. Her use of we did not go unnoticed. Just because Dryova was a former Kyroibi master did not mean she had his trust. If anything, given the circumstances surrounding the relinquishing of responsibility to her son, it meant the exact opposite.
"Of course," she said and held out her hand.
Ellie held fast to Julian, looking to him for guidance as she fought against the increasing compulsion to go to the woman. Perhaps it was simply that they were family or perhaps it was something more sinister. Either way, she was wary. After all, her own mother it seemed could not be trusted.
Julian felt the conflict and communicated his distrust silently. He was about to direct Ellie to leave the apartment so they could find a place to discuss his reservations, when the pressure dropped once again. Ellie let out a gasp as her mother and stepfather appeared, the latter looking incredibly green around the gills.
"Stay away from my daughter," Isa growled. Again, Ellie noted the small firearm her mother brandished as if waving around a gun was something she did every day.
“Isaverlline, have you completely lost your mind?”
“Julian, don't you dare speak to me," she hissed. “Do you think me a fool? Am I supposed to believe that this is some sort of coincidence?”
“Mom, please put the gun down,” Ellie protested, but as she spoke, a low hum that had been brewing somewhere inside of her erupted into what was promising to be one hell of a panic attack.
“Isaverlline, stand down and look at me, child,” Dryova commanded.
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, you filthy bisa!”
A Space Girl from Earth (The Kyroibi Trilogy Book 1) Page 11