You differentiate yourself from the competition by determining your best qualities (and, as an added bonus, this is an opportunity for you to feel better about yourself and boost your confidence a little if you are feeling uncertain about your ability to conquer any woman). Now, take a piece of paper and make another list that can answer any woman’s question “Why should I choose you over any other man approaching me right now?”
Any woman should choose me over other men, because I am…
Caring
Financially stable
Have a good sense of humor
Giving
Understanding
Love to dance
Love to give massages
Love children
Great cook
Good with tools
Love to travel
…….
Again, go crazy with this list – include every little thing you can think of that makes you a wonderful guy, a treasure for any woman; talk to your friends and ask for their input – this is very helpful as other people generally can tell us many more things about ourselves we wouldn’t think about.
Now you need to analyze this list. Look at all the qualities you wrote down and think how they would add value to a woman’s life. This is probably the most intense portion of the entire process – you really need to step into a woman’s shoes to realize what these qualities can mean to her as your partner. If you can determine how your personal qualities can change her life for the better, adding value to it, you can be certain that you will be able to attract her attention and make her fall in love with you.
Qualities from the list above
How would this quality improve my woman’s life?
Caring
Financially stable
Loving children
Business savvy
Love to give massages
Love to dance
Handy person
She will receive comfort and support.
She will feel secure; I can help her create or establish her business.
I will make a great dad and role model for her child.
I can help her make her business successful.
I will make her relax and remove her stress level after a busy work day.
A great chance to spend quality time together and avoid routine in personal life.
The house is always in good shape, things are always fixed.
As you compose this list, you might find that some of your qualities are exactly what women are looking for, while others will make no difference to them. Knowing this, you need to highlight the qualities that can bring a positive change to a woman’s life – that is how you can make sure that women become attracted to you and see your true colors. I suggest that you keep this list and refer to it from time to time, as it is something that will greatly benefit you in future at any stage of a relationship.
–––- Resource! –––-
Oksana Live TV show contains a couple of great videos where I talk about how you get yourself “identified as a catch”. You can access these video episodes right after registering your profile at www.OksanaLove.com/GIFT
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CHAPTER 6: COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR RUSSIAN BRIDE
Now that you have polished your online image, it is time to think about the way you will communicate with Russian women. I explain the basic principles of successful communication using emails as an example, but the same principles apply to every aspect of your communication, including video and face-to-face meetings.
–––— Resource! –––—
All examples and templates were taken from my program “MAGNETIC EMAIL: Your guide to effective written communication”.
To get more information and access a free webinar go to www.OksanaLove.com/Gift. You will receive access to the webinar after a free registration of your profile.
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Before you write your first email to a beautiful Russian woman, here is what you should remember if you want her to be interested in talking to you:
1. Be attentive.
This is your biggest key to really getting to know a woman who is of interest to you. Speaking, chatting, or communicating in person with a lady that makes your heart beat faster can be intimidating. It is easy to focus on finding the next best thing to say to impress her than to actually listen to what she is saying. But you should pay close attention to the information she is sharing and note down (mentally or physically) things she says. Build on what has already been said by asking related questions – this is the best way to find out who your lady of choice really is, what her goals are, and if she is the best match for you.
2. Be courteous and respectful.
Russian women are very giving; once they sense interest, they will put emotional value in your communication. It is important that you show her respect in return, make an effort to be a good listener, learn to sense when she is talking about things that are really important to her, and don’t take these things lightly. Keep your conversations and language respectful; be certain that your lady is open to personal communication before you bring up any private topics, and remember that Russian women appreciate being treated like ladies.
3. Keep family in your discussions.
Russian women are known for their commitment to family and being family-oriented which makes them great wives and mothers. Family remains the center of their lives; asking your lady about it will give your sweetheart a chance to share things closest to her heart, while you will have a chance to discover some of the most personal things about her life and who she is. Do not hesitate to share with your lady information about your family as well – it will show her that you are taking your relationship seriously; your Russian beauty will appreciate your interest and ability to share special things. But… before you start discussing family, you must remain “an orphan” during you first 2-3 conversations (via email, phone or in person). Until then, do not bring family into conversation unless you are asked, and even when you are asked, keep your answer short and sweet.
4. Better ask than assume.
Mass media has painted many different portraits of women from Russia – poor, neglected, desperate to leave their home, waiting for foreigners to “save” them. But reality is often much more than that: many women are interested in finding a true partner to love and care for, someone who can be a great husband and father, someone to share their life with. You need to learn to see beyond stereotypes; better ask your lady about what things really are like instead of making false assumptions which can offend your sweetheart.
5. Don’t forget your sense of humor.
Everyday life of people in Russia gives them little reason to smile, so your lady will appreciate you making her smile and laugh, especially if it comes naturally. Most Russian women are cultured and educated, so intelligent and sensible jokes will yield much better results than rough and crude humor. Make sure that you do not use humour that involves cartoon characters or movies that came out more than 10 years ago as your woman will not be able to relate to them. A good rule of thumb – use picture humor (for example, caricatures) which will be much easier for her to understand.
6. Honesty is the best policy.
Any woman will appreciate this quality in a man. Being honest with your lady will help you build trust and show her that you are reliable – something many Russian women do not find in men at their home country. It can be easy to “omit” or “change, just a little bit” some things about your life, but it is not a good idea as such “white lies” can ruin a great relationship later. Such topics as children, money, or your communication with other women (if it is the case) should in particular be discussed honestly at all times – your lady will appreciate the truth and you will be certain that you found the woman who likes you for who you really are.
7. Looks matter… or do they?
It is typical for men to think that Russian women are only interested in men who loo
k like movie stars – a common mistake made because men are usually the ones looking for models. An average Russian woman will love you for who you are more than for what you look like, and women’s preferences vary when it comes to appearance (same as they do for most men). When making an impression it is more important to show that you take time to take care of yourself and make a point to be well-groomed. This means finding clothes that fit your body best, a haircut that suits your face, not using potent smelling cologne or aftershave, etc. – things we’ve already discussed.
8. Be confident and have a goal.
Scammers have given Russian women a poor reputation of being interested only in money.
–––— Resource! –––—
Something I talk about in my next book. To claim your free gift - first chapter of the book “Scam me NOT” and also get automatically enrolled to win a free copy of my book, go to www.OksanaLove.com/rbscam and enter your email.
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While some are, most women are not looking for a bank account. What they are interested in most is a steady life and your ability to take care of her and your future family. They want to be certain that a man can be a shoulder to lean on and someone who can provide a comfortable life. This does not mean you have to be a millionaire, but being confident of your goals and sharing them with your lady will send her the right message.
It is impossible to foresee everything that can go wrong in your email communication, but there are some things that are guaranteed to send women running. In the following few paragraphs, I outline the basic mistakes men make in emails. I will also provide some examples of letters that are full of mistakes and things you should avoid in your emails if you want a woman to write you back.
Generic letters
You must have received at least one sales or advertisement letter in your life. Do you remember what you felt reading it, holding it in your hands? An impersonal piece of paper, cloned for hundreds or thousands of people, signed by someone with no real face or, sometimes, even without a name. Sales people and marketers are annoying, their messages are boring. Unfortunately, many letters that end up in Russian women’s inboxes look and feel the same – it is excusable, but completely unproductive.
Hi,
I saw your profile and thought I would write.
I am John, 43. I am 6 feet tall, with brown hair. I like fishing, watching TV, sometimes I read. I also like barbeque. I am divorced and have a daughter, she goes to school. I want to meet someone, maybe get married one day. I think you are beautiful.
Write me,
John
Just for a minute, imagine receiving such a letter. How would it make you feel? It probably wouldn’t really inspire you to write back. If that’s so, why do you think it would make any woman want to reply? Sadly, such letters make up about 90% of all correspondence in my agency.
Talking too much about yourself
This is one of the biggest mistakes many men make. Now I want you to think for a minute about the most annoying and unattractive advertisement you’ve ever seen. It is probably one of those infomercials that sound something like this: “This is XYZ; it is fantastic because it does this and that. You need XYZ, because it is the best thing out there. Call us and buy XYZ now if you don’t want to miss out. You haven’t called us yet? This is your last chance to buy XYZ…” and so on. Annoying, aggravating, and makes you want to strangle someone. That’s pretty much how women feel when they get letters that talk about you – well, only about you.
Naturally, when you are interested in a woman, you want to share everything about yourself with her, but there really can be too much of a good thing. Human beings absorb information in small portions – scientists suggest that at any given time we digest only about 10% of all information we receive. This means that any letter with excessive information about you and your life will read to a woman like this, “Hi, my name is John. I am 43, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, I like dogs, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Occasionally I like to go fishing, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.” Is this what you really want?
If you really wish to grab a woman’s attention and secure a response to your letter, you need to focus on the woman you are writing to and keep information about yourself to a bare minimum. It might be hard, but think of it as a necessary sacrifice to build a better future for your relationship. Once the two of you have connected and established mutual interest, you will have all the time in the world to tell her about your fishing trips and dental appointments.
Hello, Tatyana,
Seriously, you are more than attractive, I would say really hot. I would be happy to write to you more and learn about you, and if you are interested I am happy to tell you more about myself.
However, there is a problem. Correspondence can be exciting for a while, as new things are learnt, but eventually (and that should be sooner rather than later) a face-to-face meeting is essential. I explored previously the possibility of travelling to Kazakhstan. I must tell you it is not so easy, possibly one of the most difficult places in the world because of distances and visas. I have travelled through western Russia to St Petersburg and Moscow, so I know those great cities are more established for tourists. I know the scenery is magnificent but Kazakhstan is not the number one tourist place in the world.
My experience is that letters are a poor substitute for a meeting, for both the man and woman because photos can be old, people change and people’s perception of themselves is not the same as reality sometimes.
I am sure you understand the truth in all of my explanation. So, before we embark on writing to each other we need to agree that a meeting is essential, in a country that we both feel comfortable. My atlas suggests that place would be Thailand, you wouldn’t worry also about your safety there at least.
Briefly, about myself, I do not have a regular job at a company. I am my own boss and my own employee. I have sold my home and my life is contained in two suitcases and I have a laptop. I travel where I want to (so long as there is a good internet connection). I have created a life where I want to travel and see the world, but share that with someone whom I am in love with. I want to feel like a teenager and want to have my almost-twin to share all. I really enjoy conversation, intelligent discussion about all things, passions about life, food and ideas. I have not arrived at the present situation easily. I have planned for 3 years to create this possibility.
To help you further decide about me, you must feel a sense of adventure also, be very capable in all things, not fussy, easy going, adaptable, see wonder in simple things. One day such a life as I will lead will come to an end, and a house and less serendipity will ensue, but until then my plan is simple, the details are vague except what I have told you. To save further time, I will attach below a brief standard letter about my life. Of course, it needs to be standard because I have only one life :-)
I was born in England. My parents migrated to Australia when I was 6 months old. I lived a happy childhood in a city called Adelaide. I trained as a Chemical Engineer. I am not exact and think more like the scientist with his head in the clouds.I married in 1979. We went to USA in 1982 to work on military rockets. My oldest daughter was born in Alabama. I also learnt to fly a small airplane as a hobby. Two fun years in USA with plenty of travel and sightseeing.
My middle daughter and my son were born in Australia. The family moved to Brisbane in 1992. I worked as a farmer on my brother-in-law’s large farm. The work was enjoyable seeing big fields of wheat grow. In one year, we grew 2500 tons of wheat. For two men this is a big effort. This period of my life was a great enjoyment and pleasure on the farm, but also of great difficulty because there was little money.
In 1996, my life changed again. I became an Executive (manager) in a large industrial company. I spent one year in Papua New Guinea in 2002 and trained native people in the jungle. What an experience! In 2003, my relations were not successful. I have since travelled to Europe and Asia for holidays. I love history, culture and spi
cy foods. I am grateful for an excellent life of interesting experiences and great memories, good and bad.
I now live in Brisbane Australia with my son Christian (19). My eldest daughter Hayley (25) lives in Melbourne and is a professional dancer. My middle daughter Natalie (22) lives alone and studies in University.
I have visited Russia and Ukraine. I took my son to give him bigger experience of life. I hope you enjoy our photo taken at the Mariinsky ballet in Saint Petersburg. I have also been to India, and Canada for skiing with my son. There are so many places yet to see – there is all of South America!
Natalia, until recently I had a very good, enjoyable and secure job. I decided to stop briefly and re-organise my life instead of sitting all day at a computer screen. During this pause in work, I hope to find the love of my life. Together we can decide what, where and the things to do as a joint decision.
I trust that my life story helps you determine my character and “type” of man. I have energy for life. I want an enthusiastic partner to share this passion, but I am not a restless soul. I think that life is too short to waste watching TV or sitting idly, though I sometimes do both these things. I am sure that you understand me.
I am serious in my intentions to find a good woman for marriage. I do not want
to correspond for months. I do not want a virtual Internet romance. I am not looking for a servant or a cook. I want a sincere and loving relationship with a woman with an open, tender passionate heart who can give me all her devotion, her commitment, and her joy. I want to have a family where two can be as one and I can shower her in love.
Russian Allure Page 6