“Not too much farther. We’ve been lucky, I think this side of the mountain has missed the brunt of the snow. When we hit a stand of tall pines, we turn back onto the open mountainside and then head across, almost horizontally. The caves are marked by an overhang. At least the start of them. There’s a number of them; we can shelter for a couple of hours in the first one. Then push on to where Jason should be.”
“We don’t have to stop on my account,” she said.
Yes, we do. But to Maria, he said, “We need to eat and drink. It’s important to keep our energy levels up.”
She looked relieved. “Maybe a brief stop might be good.”
“It will be. I’ll even show you my culinary skills.” He patted his pack. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tried reconstituted Boeuf Bourguignon.”
She giggled, despite the cold. “You know, I can’t remember when I last ate.”
“Great, then let’s get to the cave and eat.” It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind as their first date, but it was going to have to do. For Declan, this was the beginning of their courtship. Dinner for two, alfresco-style. Romantic, if Maria could just stop her teeth chattering. He longed to pull her into his embrace and hold her close to his warm bearskin. Maybe when this was all over...
But he knew it was hands off until her nephew was found and they had healed their relationship. He only hoped this adventure was going to end in a happy-ever-after for everyone.
Chapter Ten – Maria
The light had completely faded as they came out of the trees. The snow had almost stopped, but the temperature was plummeting. What if Jason was out in this? Don’t think that. There is nothing more you could have done.
She reminded herself of this as they made their way over a precarious trail, if you could call it that. Stones toppled down the mountain, and every time her feet slipped, she was sure she was going to follow them. The rope, still tied to her waist, was comforting. Declan wouldn’t let her fall.
“Nearly there. We can rest for a couple of hours, and then make the next ascent. But after that, we need the light.” He brushed against her, and she longed to lean into him. “So don’t feel bad about stopping. We need to time it just right. This way we can rest and then go on further, find the cave with Jason in it, and then make the descent before Santa leaves the North Pole.”
She had almost forgotten it was Christmas. Maybe because since she was a kid, it had meant little to her. She never admitted it to anyone, but out of the last five Christmases, she had spent three of them alone and two of them wishing she was alone.
What a sad, lonely fool she was.
In some ways she was very much like Declan.
“Here, let me,” Declan said. He lifted the pack from her shoulders; she was relieved by the weight disappearing, but was unhappy at being made to feel inadequate.
“I’m OK with it,” she said defensively, reaching out to take it back.
“No, you’re not,” he said, hitching it onto his left shoulder. “I was watching you. For the last ten minutes you have been looking as though you have the weight of the mountain on your shoulders.”
Maria looked up at him through the blur of snowflakes landing on her eyelashes. “Do you ever wish you’d done things differently?”
He was taken aback by her sudden question. Taking a step towards her, he looked down at her and said, “Honey, you can’t change the past. And you can’t let the past ruin your future.”
“But if I’d have done things differently, been more of a part of Jason’s life... Well, he might not be stuck up there in some cave on his own in a blizzard.”
“Listen, Maria. Jason has lost his parents. Parents who he always thought would be there for him, ready to explain things to him...” He hesitated. “There are things about Jason you can’t understand, can’t help him with. And it wouldn’t have mattered if you had lived in the same house as him all his life.”
“Because he’s a boy? You mean that he needs a man in his life? A man like you?” Was that really where he was going with this? Was it some kind of line, a come-on—if it was, then she was going to take back all the thoughts she had about him being a good man.
“Not in the way you think.” Those were the only words he said before he abruptly turned heel and walked off, his feet dragging through the deep snow.
She watched him take two steps and then followed. If she didn’t, the rope that bound them together would pull tight, and there was no need to guess who would win this tug of war. All the same, she was left confused by what he said. Did he think she was totally unsuitable as a parent to Jason, that there was nothing she could offer him? That he would always need someone else other than her?
Shaken and confused, she trudged along behind him, grateful when he turned and headed uphill towards the great shadow that loomed above them. She had never been more relieved to see a large lump of rock in her life. This was the overhang they had been heading for.
He expertly guided them towards the mouth of a small cave. How he found it in the gloom she couldn’t guess. What surprised her more was the stash of dry firewood waiting to be made into a blazing fire.
“It’s always kept this way. So that if anyone is desperate and it’s cold and wet outside, they know they can light a fire.” He shone a flashlight onto the wood and the separate pile of kindling next to it.
“So we just use what we need?” she asked. It was good to know the people in Bear Bluff and the surrounding area worked together.
“Yes, and when it’s dry I’ll come up here and replace it. The forest is a great place to find enough firewood, especially after a storm. The wetter stuff is placed over there, so the draft coming in dries it out. Then it gets transferred here.”
“Wow, you have a good system.” She was impressed.
“We work together here. You should know that, Maria. No one in Bear Bluff wants you to fail, in anything. We’re more than just a town.” There was that hidden meaning again; she couldn’t quite work out what the underlying message was.
“That might work for those who have lived here all their lives, but what about outsiders like me?” she asked. In the city, people came and went so often she couldn’t keep up with the neighbours in her apartment. But didn’t small towns had a reputation for excluding newcomers?
“It’s not like that. Especially now.” He looked up at her, his hands working to build the fire, while his eyes warmed her insides until they were liquid fire. Nothing would inflame her senses more than the looks he gave her.
“What do you mean especially now?”
“You are not an outsider anymore.”
“Why, because of Jason?”
Again, she thought he was about to tell her something personal. But whatever it was he didn’t seem confident in her enough to share. Yes, that was the effect she had on people: she didn’t open up about herself and her feelings, so why should she expect others to do the same? Although she dearly wanted to know what this man who knelt before her, striking a match to the tinder, was thinking.
“It was a brave thing you did to give up your life in the city to come look after Jason. The people of Bear Bluff understand that. Only they don’t interfere. If you ask for help, they will give it. But they won’t want to offer in case they offend you.”
“I never thought of it like that.”
“You never thought that you are as much an enigma to them as they are to you? You come from the city, shut yourself away most of the time from what you say. Hell, you must. I’m the sheriff and I get around town, a lot. But I never saw you before.”
She laughed, “I’m sure we must have crossed paths at some point. Maybe you are only focused on damsels in distress and those committing a crime.” She said it lightly, but his eyes darkened. “Sorry. Of course you look out for everyone.”
“It’s not that, Maria,” he said as the first spark lit the dry tinder and burst into life. “I need you to understand that my body is particularly attuned to yours.”
“It is?” she
squeaked, realising she was cornered here in a cave with a man who wore a sheriff's badge, but who at this moment looked more like a man who was about to steal something. Her.
“Yes. I don’t want to pile any more stress on you. But we have to talk.”
“We do?” Still that same squeak of a cornered mouse.
“Yes. But first we need to eat.” With that, he broke the spell binding her eyes to his. As the flames licked at the wood, casting their warm cheery glow across the walls of the small cave, he placed his backpack on the floor and began to remove things.
She stood by, frozen in place by his words and what he conveyed through his looks. Was there something between them? She would be lying if she said she hadn’t felt something. But she had put that down to being needy, and scared for Jason.
Yet it went deeper than that. He stirred up feelings inside her, sensations she had never known. Despite not dating too much, she had been attracted to her fair share of men. Usually she crushed on men who were out of her reach, either by position or because they were spoken for. There was nothing like fantasizing about a man who was unavailable. Was that why she was crushing on the sheriff? A man in uniform, out of her reach.
But his face said she was very much in his reach. And that reach was getting closer to grabbing her and pulling her to the ground so he could make love to her on the floor of a cave, just like two beasts.
Chapter Eleven – Declan
She needed to quit looking at him like that. If not, he would be stripping her body and making love to her here in the light of the fire. He could imagine the warm glow illuminating her curvy body. Damn, how he wanted to take all those layers of clothing off, unwrapping her like a gift on Christmas morning.
“Why don’t you go to the cave entrance and fill this with snow?” He passed her a tin mug. Although, he thought, he should be the one going to fetch it, perhaps diving into the snow face first to help him cool off.
“Sure,” she said, taking it and rushing off as if his bear was snapping at her heels.
But his bear didn’t want to snap at her heels; instead, he wanted to nip her neck and then graze his teeth across her nipples, so taut with the cold.
“Fill it real full, it will melt down to almost nothing,” he growled, his emotions spiralling out of control.
Maybe it was being here in an old bear den. It made him feel closer to his animal, and that animal wanted to be closer to his mate. No, that wasn’t fair. All of him wanted to be closer to their mate.
“Here,” she said, passing it back to him.
“Thank you.” He reached for it, taking it from her, his fingers brushing hers. She had taken her gloves off, and this first contact of skin against skin made him fall back with shock. Her eyes flew to his; she felt it too. He knew she did.
But she backed off, going to the other side of the fire and sitting down on the ground, looking exhausted. He needed to get himself under control. He was making this harder for her, when as bonded mates, he should be making it easier. But he wanted her more than the air in his lungs and the blood in his veins.
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me,” he said when he took in the hunted look in her eyes. She had sensed the predator in him. Could she feel his bear, so close to the surface now? He had no idea how these things worked for those who couldn’t change, who didn’t have another, more primal side to them.
“It’s OK. I appreciate what you're doing for me and for Jason.” She stared at the flames and he was sure she was going to go to sleep on the spot. Looking at his watch, he realised why. They had set off from his office mid-afternoon, but now it was late, and the cold had depleted her energy.
“Here,” he said, throwing her a chocolate bar. “Eat this, while I make our dinner. Here’s some coffee too.”
“Thank you. I was OK until we stopped. Now I’m exhausted.” She unwrapped the chocolate and took a bite. “Oh, sugar rush.”
“Good, I hope you can keep your eyes open to eat something warm and then we can sleep for a few hours before making an attempt to reach the caves.” He watched the snow melt in the pan and then added the powdered food.
“That smells wonderful,” she said.
He grinned. “Told you I had impressive skills in the kitchen.”
“Do you have specialist survival training?” she asked, as she slowly ate the sugary bar, which was already perking her up.
“Only what’s passed down from generation to generation.” He stirred the pot, happy to see it thickening, and had to agree the smell was pretty good. Although he was so hungry after the climb, he would have been much happier tucking into a nice juicy rare steak, with french fries.
“Your family has lived here for a long time?” she asked.
“Yes, my ancestors were founding citizens of Bear Bluff,” he said proudly.
“That’s what Yvonne said about Matthew’s family,” she said.
“There are a lot of old families in Bear Bluff,” he said, wanting to tell her why, but still not sure she was mentally or physically strong enough. The news would be shocking. There was no way she would see it coming. How could she, it wasn’t every day that someone admitted they could change into a bear, and that was why the original families had settled here in Bear Bluff: to hide away, and have the privacy to turn bear when they wanted.
These days they had to be more careful. With more and more ordinary humans coming out to the mountains for vacations, there were very strict rules, or guidelines, about going bear. It was particularly important to stay out of sight in the day. The occasional bear sighting was one thing; tourists loved it. But it was the hunters with guns that were becoming more of a danger. Especially those trophy hunters who wanted a nice bear hide to put on their suburban floors.
“Do you think that’s why Jason resents me?” she asked, her voice growing quieter as though she were hypnotised by the flames. “Because I’m from the city, he’s from a small town. I guess that’s why he tells me I don’t understand him.”
“No. Not at all. I would be surprised if he resents you at all, Maria.” He couldn’t see how even a child of thirteen could resent an aunt who had given up her whole way of life for him.
“His family has lived here for what, centuries, and now he’s left with an outsider who doesn’t understand the way the town works. You must have customs and traditions that go back through the generations.”
He kept his eyes on the spoon he was using to stir their dinner. “Every town has its own traditions,” he said simply. His bear clawed at the edges of his mind. But when he looked up at Maria’s tense face, he had to be firm. Now is not the time.
Chapter Twelve – Maria
She closed her eyes, savouring the taste of the food. It hadn’t got anything in the way of a pleasant consistency, but the taste was divine and it was hot. They had moved around to sit as far as they could from the entrance of the cave and the snow that continued to fall. The few flakes that made their meandering way inside soon melted in the heat from the fire.
“What happens when we sleep? Can we keep the fire going?” she asked, not relishing the idea of ending up a frozen popsicle.
“I’ll build it up so it will burn for a few hours, but we will be sleeping in the tent.” He took a last mouthful of food from his tin cup and licked his lips. Such full, sensual lips...
She was getting drowsy from the warmth and the food, and her mind only just managed to stop staring at his mouth and cling onto the word, “Tent?”
He jerked his head towards the pack. “Yes. Part of the kit. If we got stuck, it’s always best to have somewhere to escape to. It keeps out the worst of the weather. In here, with the warmth from the fire too, it will be downright cozy.” He grinned at the face she pulled. “Come on. The proof is in the sleeping. And that is what you need to do.”
“I am not going to argue. I am exhausted. The thought of taking one more step is enough to make me cry,” she said, rubbing her tired legs.
“Then you stay there while I pr
epare the bedroom.” He hoisted himself up, taking her cup from her hand and going to the cave entrance where he washed them in the snow. Her eyelids grew heavier as he then began to pull lightweight poles and then the outer shell of a small two-person tent from the pack she had carried most of the way.
Only when he began to put it up did she realise just how cozy they were going to be in there. And she didn’t mean cozy-warm, she meant cozy as in a snug fit.
“OK. You want to slide in here?” He held the flap open for her, and she really did have to slide, and wiggle, to get herself into the tent. She shuffled over to one side, and then he handed her a sleeping bag. “Here.”
“You have the kitchen sink in there too?” she asked, sliding her boots off her feet.
He chuckled, watching her ungainly wriggling. “Take your jacket off too. It’s going to get warm in there.”
“Really?” she asked and then realized why he had said that. The sleeping bag was big enough for both of them. “Oh.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t bite.”
More’s the pity, she thought, and then cursed herself. Nothing was going to happen between them. Not up here on the side of a mountain in sub-zero temperatures. But when he slid in beside her, the temperature was close to boiling point.
Her body was acutely aware of his, as though the layers of clothing covering her body had just melted away, leaving her naked against him. She turned so that her back was to him, but it made no difference. There was no way she would ever be able to relax enough to sleep. Not when her own heartbeat sounded so loud in her ears and his breathing was like a small earthquake to her body. She longed to reach out to him, or for him to wrap her in his arms and hold her close. The rise and fall of his chest brought him closer to her, before stealing him away inch by inch over and over.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked.
Should she say no, I need you to hold me? No. She couldn’t, she had no intention of giving him any ideas. He was out of bounds. She was out of bounds. Nothing good could come of this. “Yes. Thank you,” she answered.
Complete Christmas Bear Brothers Box Set: BBW Holiday Paranormal Bear Shifter Romance Page 17