Promises to Keep

by Jane Green

“Can I have a Coke?” Jack says hopefully.

  “A Coke? Are you kidding?” Reece looks at his six-year-old in horror. “Since when do you drink Coke?”

  Jack shrugs. He tries again. “Sprite?”

  “Nope. No soda.”

  “Honey,” Steffi says, crouching down. “I don’t have any soda anyway. I do have apple cider, though. I could warm it up for you. How does that sound?”

  “Great!” he and Eliza say gleefully.

  Steffi turns to Reece and silently mouths, “Coke?” And he shrugs and grins. As far as they’re all aware, Callie has a strict no-soda rule.

  And a strict no-gum rule. And a strict no-TV-before-bed rule. And a strict no-food-outside-the-kitchen rule. None of which have been adhered to particularly since she has been in the hospital.

  Reece is trying his best. He has Honor to help, but Honor is flying out to be with Callie for most of the time. Reece is managing to work from home, so he is the one who is trying to sort out the playdates, and the classes, and the library books to be returned.

  He is managing, but most of the time it’s only just. If this hospital trip is extended for much longer, he’s going to have to think seriously about bringing in some help. A babysitter, an au pair, something. He just can’t do it all by himself.

  On the weekends, it is easier. He has always taken over the weekends, and driving out to see Steffi’s new place he can’t wait to take the kids for a hike, to see their faces when they first see the animals. He just can’t manage it every day. Frankly, he isn’t entirely sure how Callie manages it either.

  “This is like the perfect country house,” Reece says. “What are you paying for rent?”

  “I’m not!” Steffi says, setting out a platter of cheese with fig jam. “The house is in exchange for looking after Fingal.”

  “This guy must totally have the hots for you,” teases Reece. “How much would it cost to pay someone to dogsit? A hell of a lot less than the monthly rent on this place I would think.”

  “Daddy!” Eliza tugs on his shirt. “You said the h word.”

  “I did? I’m sorry.”

  “That’s twenty-five cents in the curse jar when we get home.”

  “Okay,” he says with a shrug, waiting until she leaves the room to add, “Good thing she doesn’t follow me to work. She’d be a millionaire by now.” He peers out of the window as another car turns slowly into the driveway and pulls up at the house.

  “Who do you know who drives a silver Volvo? Oh! It’s Ed and Lila and a young boy. I didn’t know they were coming.”

  “The more the merrier. That’s Clay, Ed’s son.” Steffi goes to the front door, and soon the kitchen is filled with noise and movement as they all help Steffi with the finishing touches, gathering around the counter to eat the hors d’oeuvres and drink the champagne that Honor has brought.

  Clay kicks around the edges of the room until Eliza corners him and questions him, then he starts to relax. Soon the three children are tearing around the house, making so much noise that Reece commands them all to go outside to play, and Steffi tells them to take Fingal with them.

  “Just keep him away from the chicken coop!” Steffi shouts after them, and they raise hands to indicate they’ve heard, trooping off like a row of ducks, Eliza already having fallen in love with Clay, and Jack wanting to be wherever the big kids are.

  They sit, eventually, in the dining room, which is beautifully set with Mason’s white Wedgwood china and crystal wineglasses, but with a classic Steffi touch: there are three galvanized steel pots on the table containing growing lettuce, and bowls of crisp red radishes, a heaping mound of soft bean sprouts and a dish of roasted pine nuts, so everyone can pick their own lettuce leaves straight from the pots and assemble their own salads.

  It is, like so many family gatherings, easy and comfortable, with much laughter, and the great gray elephant in the room is not remarked upon. The children sit for a while, gobble up their food—they eschewed the tuna and took the turkey lemon meatballs as an alternative—and then go out to feed the chickens.

  “How is she today?” Steffi is first to broach the subject. “I went in again yesterday afternoon and she was amazing—she was chatty, and eating, and she honestly looked great. Is there any news?”

  Everyone looks to Honor, who is devoting most of her time to being with her daughter and is a fairly constant presence at the hospital: a book in hand, a blanket, a cup of tea, for the many times when Callie is asleep and Honor still cannot leave her side but sits peacefully in the room until she wakes up.

  “She wasn’t so great this morning.” Honor sighs. “She was in pain again.”

  “She was?” Lila jumps in. “But I thought they were managing it. I thought the pain that other time was just because she didn’t let them give her the oral medication at night?”

  “That’s what we thought too, but she had it last night and still had breakthrough pain.”

  “So what are they doing for that pain?” Lila asks. “Other than the IV of Dilaudid?”

  “When I left they were talking about Oxycodone.”

  “On IV or orally?” Lila asks.

  “Orally.”

  “And is that okay with the Decadron and the Zofran? Are there any adverse interactions? Did anyone ask?”

  They all look at Lila blankly.

  “What is Deca-what? And Zofran?”

  “They’ve been giving her Decadron, which are the steroids, and Zofran, which is an anti-emetic, it stops her throwing up.”

  “How do you remember that?” Reece is amazed.

  “I wrote it down, and then I looked it all up on the Internet.”

  “Wow.” Reece looks at her. “You’re pretty impressive.”

  “No, I just know that you have to be your own advocate these days. You have to know exactly what’s going on and not be afraid to ask what you’re getting, and ask for other things if it’s not working.”

  “Lila, we could do with you at the hospital,” Honor says thoughtfully. “I get a bit overwhelmed by all the terms and the names, and I’m not very good with doctors and nurses. My generation still thinks they’re all-powerful. I wouldn’t dare ask about anything.”

  “Really? But . . . don’t you want to know?”

  “I just trust that they’re doing everything in their power.”

  “That’s just it. We always think that, but everyone’s fallible. They’re only human. Callie doesn’t have the strength to fight for herself right now, so someone needs to do it for her.”

  All eyes are on Lila.

  “What?”

  “Honor’s right,” Reece says. “I’m there as much as I can be, but you’re amazing. I can’t be at the hospital during the day as much as I’d like to be, so maybe . . .” He tails off, starting again: “I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe you could be her advocate.”

  “Yes.” She nods, after a long pause. “Of course. It’s not like I’m run off my feet with work.”

  “It’s not? I thought you were starting a new business, dear?” Honor asks.

  “I was planning on it, but I hadn’t planned on the worst recession since the thirties. Right now I’m a consultant, which basically means I have two clients, and can’t see myself getting any more in the immediate future.”

  “But you’re okay financially, right?” Reece asks.

  “Thank God they paid me a huge severance as part of the buy-out.” She looks at Ed and laughs. “Sorry. I keep forgetting that Ed goes into heart failure every time we talk about money.”

  He grins. “It just that the English never talk about money. It’s the one thing I’m still not used to about living here.”

  “And his Long Island Jewish love,” Lila puts on a thick accent, “talks about money all the time. I can’t help it. I have no shame. But, thank God, financially I am fine, and heaven knows I have enough free time on my hands. Do you know,” she says suddenly, leaning forward, “I had never seen the inside of a Starbucks at eleven o’clock in the morn
ing before?”

  “Is it . . . different?” Reece smiles.

  “Yes! It’s hell! Tons and tons of young mothers with small children who run around screaming and laying their sugar-coated fingers on you, while the mothers ignore the horrible behavior and would be shocked to think anyone could possibly find their brats anything less than adorable.”

  “She loves children.” Ed shrugs. “What can I tell you?”

  “But you do love children,” Reece says. “At least, you love ours. And they love you.”

  “Yes, well. That’s different. First of all, they’re the children of my best friend, and secondly, they are spectacularly well-behaved. I bet they’ve never run around Starbucks screaming. Even if they did Callie would have grabbed them and marched them out of there, putting their doughnuts in the trash can on the way out.”

  “She’s right.” Reece grins. “My wife has always been the disciplinarian in our house.”

  A fresh wave of silence and sadness as it hits them, yet again, that Callie is not there, and the reason why she is not there.

  “So,” Steffi says, “we know she was in pain, but do they have any more results?”

  “We should be getting some later today,” Reece says. “I’m going back to the hospital after I drop the kids home with Honor. I hope we’ll have some news soon.”

  Reece and Ed are taking the kids for a hike, Lila and Honor are inspecting the garden, and Steffi is clearing up in the kitchen when a small blue truck appears. She frowns, then gasps as Stanley the handyman climbs out.

  “Oh shit,” she mutters, smoothing her hair back and dashing to the mirror to wipe down her shiny skin—there was no point in bothering with makeup for her family, but she wasn’t expecting this guy to show up this afternoon.

  She slides to the back door just as he is about to knock.

  “Hey.” He nods, a half smile on his face. “I just thought I’d been really rude in not coming over, so I wanted to see if there was anything you wanted.”

  “Oh. Wow. That’s really nice of you. No, I . . . do you want to come in?”

  “Sure.” He lopes in, and as he passes her she breathes him in, and yes, he smells just as delicious as she had hoped. And now that he is in her kitchen Steffi feels as light-headed and giggly as a schoolgirl.

  “Oh man, I didn’t realize you had people.”

  “It’s okay. It’s just my family.”

  “Really? Where are they all?”

  “Outside. Do you want some . . . champagne?” She feels stupid saying it, but he’s looking at the half-empty champagne bottle on the counter, and it is what they have been drinking, after all.

  “Nah. I’m not really a champagne guy.”

  “Let me guess. Budweiser.”

  He laughs. “Right first time.”

  Steffi smiles to herself. Oh I so know you, she thinks. I know you better than you know yourself. And she feels a shiver of lust go through her.

  “I’m really sorry, I don’t have any in. I’ll stock up, though.” Shut up! That implies you want him to come back, she thinks to herself. That’s not exactly playing it cool.

  “Great,” he says. “That’d be good.”

  “So . . .” she says, feeling slightly awkward. “How did you end up here?”

  “In Sleepy Hollow? I’ve lived here my whole life. My parents run the gas station. I moved to Seattle for a bit when I was fresh out of school, trying to do the whole musician thing, but it didn’t work out so I came back.”

  I knew that already, Steffi thinks. I’ve met you a million times before. But just to be on the safe side, she asks the obligatory question, already knowing his answer.

  “Did you have a record deal?”

  “Oh man!” He starts to laugh. “You know which questions to ask. We came this close,” he moves his finger and thumb an inch apart, “but the lead singer blew it. He just wouldn’t take the deal and they walked away. Why are you smiling?”

  “You just . . . remind me of someone I once knew.”

  “A boyfriend?”

  “Maybe.” She shrugs. She could have said, more accurately, “Every single one of my boyfriends.”

  “Listen, I’d better go. I just wanted to make sure you had all my numbers in case you need anything. And if you ever want to hit the Horseshoe for a Bud, give me a call. The nights can get pretty dull when you live up here on your own.”

  “You’re on your own?”

  “Yeah.” Once again he holds her gaze for just a second longer than is altogether necessary, and her heart does a tiny flip.

  Honor bends down to finger the hydrangeas, which are dried to a pale papery brown on the stem. Although she and Lila watch the blue truck pull up, neither of them makes a move to see the new visitor.

  “I’m really worried,” Honor says slowly, straightening up to meet Lila’s eye. “I haven’t said this to anyone, I haven’t even wanted to say the words out loud, but I’m so scared.”

  “I know,” Lila says, reaching out a hand and rubbing Honor’s back. “We’re all scared.”

  “I just . . . I just have this feeling that . . . Oh Lord. I shouldn’t even say it.”

  “Don’t,” Lila says. “I know what you’re going to say and I feel it too, and we mustn’t say it out loud. We mustn’t even think it.”

  “I just feel so helpless.” Honor starts to well up. “This feels so different from before, with the cancer. The . . . unknowing makes it feel so serious and so frightening. This . . . waiting game. It’s like being trapped in hell, and even though you don’t know the outcome, you know it isn’t . . .”

  “It’s okay.” Lila shushes her. “We don’t know the outcome but we’re going to pray that it is going to be good. And I’m going to do everything I can, Honor. I will be there every day, and I will fight to make sure she gets the best possible treatment available. I won’t let a single stone go unturned, I promise you that.”

  “You’re a good friend,” Honor says, with a small smile. “You’ve always been a wonderful friend to Callie.”

  “She’s always been a wonderful friend to me,” Lila says, swallowing the lump that has just crept into her throat.

  “So who was the hot guy in the blue pickup truck?” Lila demands, passing Stanley on their way back into the kitchen.

  “Oh him? That’s just the handyman.”

  “Just? You mean you just happen to move out to the boondocks and the handyman looks like a total rock god who is exactly, but exactly, your type?”

  “I know!” Steffi grins. “And he’s single! I thought I’d be celibate for the next year, but Mr. Handyman may be the answer to my prayers. Sorry, Mom.”

  “Oh don’t worry, darling. I came of age in the sixties. Nothing shocks me.”

  “So what’s his name?”

  Steffi pauses. “It’s Stanley,” she says eventually, reluctantly.

  “Stanley!” Both Honor and Lila whoop with laughter.

  “He’s not a Stanley,” Lila says. “He looks like a Rip, or a Thorn, or, at the very least, a Jack.”

  “Sexy Stanley,” Honor muses, and they all crack up.

  “So? Nice guy? Or total loser like the rest of the rock gods you usually date? Oh I’m sorry, rock gods slash waiters slash handymen.”

  “If you weren’t practically family I’d think you were a total cow,” Steffi shoots back.

  “Girls, girls,” Honor says, theatrically. “Behave.”

  “I forgive you,” Lila says. “And anyway, if I were a total cow, which I am not, I’d be a total cow who loves this family as much as her own. Actually, make that a tiny bit more than her own.”

  “You’re not a total cow,” Steffi says. “You’re amazing. And to answer your question, I have no idea yet whether he’s a loser or not. I don’t know anything about him but he just invited me to the Horseshoe, which is the local bar, for a drink.”

  “Really? He asked you on a date?” Honor asks.

  “Well, not exactly. He said that if I ever wanted to grab a beer I
should call him.”

  “Shouldn’t he be calling you?” Honor says.

  “Oh Mom. You’re so old-fashioned. It’s totally fine to call guys now.”

  Lila purses her lips. “No, I agree with your mom. He should be calling you. And I bet that if he doesn’t hear from you in the next few days, he will.’

  “But I don’t want to play games,” Steffi says.

  “I agree. You shouldn’t have to play games, but look at him! This is a guy who has played more games in the past year than I’ve probably played my entire life. Seriously. Doesn’t he look like a game player to you?”

  “I don’t know,” Steffi says. “Anyway, it’s just a drink. I’m not going to marry the guy.”

  “Don’t call him,” Lila says. “Please. Pretend to be an old-fashioned girl, just for me.”

  “Hey! Speaking of old-fashioned, you have to see my nightgown!” Steffi runs upstairs and puts it on, over her clothes, swanning down the stairs to show it off.

  “Oh my God!” Lila announces. “I love it! Where did you get it? I want one!”

  “Me too,” Honor says, admiring the lace. “I haven’t seen one of these in years.”

  “They’re at Mary’s store,” Steffi says. “Come on. Jump in the car and we’ll go shopping!”

  Tuna with Cilantro Lime Sauce and Avocado

  Ingredients

  Salt and pepper to taste

  4 tuna steaks

  2 handfuls chopped cilantro

  1 teaspoon grated ginger

  1 garlic clove, minced

  Juice of 2 limes, zest of 1

  2 tablespoons soy sauce

  Pinch of sugar

  2 tablespoons olive oil

  1 avocado, pitted, thinly sliced

  Method

  Salt and pepper the tuna. Mix together the cilantro, ginger, garlic, lime juice, soy sauce, sugar and oil. Add the tuna, then marinate for at least 2 hours, preferably overnight.

  Remove the tuna from the marinade and grill for 3 to 5 minutes on each side.

  Pour the marinade into a small pot and reduce on high heat until thick.