by E. M. Moore
Finnick dips his head, silencing me with his tongue on my clit. My hips jerk up, and he moans, sending vibrations through me. Heat pools in my core. He moves my knees to the bed and trails his fingers up my thigh before finally teasing my entrance.
“Oh, shit.”
He pushes a finger inside me, and a sound catches in the back of my throat before coming out in a short cry. He pumps his finger in and out, his tongue swirling over my sensitized skin. There’s a sense of urgency coming over him now too, like he wants this to happen. Like he’s been dying to make this happen. I don’t know what it’s like to be him. I have no idea the extent of what he’s gone through and what it’s done to him, but I can almost feel it coming off him in waves.
My body builds and builds. He never relents. He keeps going, twisting my body inside out until it can’t take anymore. I cry out, my body clenching around his finger.
In the aftermath, he lays his head on my stomach. He kisses my skin, and a burst of electricity spreads through me. “Thank you,” he says. He kisses his way up my stomach, over top of my shirt, my neck, my chin, and finally my lips until he pulls his finger out. Then, he lies on his side, staring at me. “I don’t know what brought you into my life, Aisley. But I hope you never leave.”
27
After Finnick and I take a shower, he gives me clothes to put on and we finally emerge from his room in the early afternoon. When I pull the curtains aside, I’m surprised to see that the sun has been out for a while. It’s another beautiful day of sunshine in the Outer Banks. The sand seems to glow, reflecting the heat of the air.
Ian watches us as we emerge. He’s sitting at the bar, surrounded in McDonald’s bags. Finnick chuckles. “You made breakfast alright.”
“I know my limitations,” Ian says. His gaze passes between me and Finnick before settling on me. “I hope you guys are hungry. I basically got one of everything because I didn’t know what everyone wanted.”
Finnick saunters up to his cousin. He leans over, giving him a hug. When he pulls away, he asks, “Where’s Sean?”
“Outside.”
We all turn to look and see Sean sitting at the deck table by himself. The movement must catch his eye because he looks up and waves. The sun hits his red hair, making it even brighter than usual.
“How come you’re not eating outside with him?”
Ian rubs the back of his neck. “I wanted to make sure Finnick didn’t need me.”
I smile at that, and twin red splotches appear on Finnick’s cheeks in response. “Well, we should probably head outside too,” I say. “I heard from Archer last night.”
“Shit,” Ian says. “Yeah.” He picks up all the bags and heads out into the hot sun.
“Good morning,” Sean says, waggling his eyebrows at Finnick and me. He doesn’t seem to have the same reaction as Ian, so it’s pretty clear Sean has no idea what Finnick’s been going through. When I make eye contact with Finnick, he shakes his head a little, affirming what I’ve already guessed. Sean has no idea. Finnick must not want him to know, and Archer probably doesn’t know either. He probably only shared it with Ian.
That same anger that I recognized earlier starts to rear its ugly head. It’s disgusting what Finnick has had to go through. Who would do that to someone else? Finnick was right, too. You really only hear of that sort of thing happening to women, and if you do hear about it happening to a guy, there’s a stigma attached to it. Everything about that is so wrong. No wonder why Finnick was filled with so much shame.
Finnick sits down close to me as he peers through the bags. “What do you want, babe?” he asks. “What do you want for breakfast?”
My body warms. I love the sound of that pet name on his lips when he’s talking to me. “What is there?”
He chuckles. “It looks like Ian bought out the store. Probably everything.”
“What else are we going to do with our money?” Ian asks, chuckling.
The guys fall right in, humor masking their faces. I pick both a sandwich and a platter of pancakes before settling in. I’m so hungry right now, I could probably finish both. After a couple of minutes, Ian just stares at me. “So? Archer?”
“Right,” I say, taking a breath to finish swallowing the food I have in my mouth. Afterward, I turn toward all of them. “Archer called me last night. They found his sister.”
“Thank fuck,” Sean says. “The shit he’s had to go through.”
Ian eyes me, taking stock of me almost. It makes my skin buzz, but I push on.
Finnick places his hand on my thigh, squeezing me a little while he eats his breakfast.
“He says today is probably going to be all about him and his parents trying to convince her to go back into rehab.”
Sean shakes his head.
“He seems...okay, but pretty upset. He’s relieved they found her, but it sounded like this part is always a fight, and he’s not looking forward to it.”
“Not to mention that his parents always blame him,” Ian grumbles, tearing into his sandwich like he was ripping Archer’s parents a new one.
“I sent him the names of some counselors that deal with that kind of thing. I thought maybe if they all go in together, it would be a freer space to open up and talk about whatever they want, even if it would hurt someone else’s feelings.”
“I hope they go,” Finnick says. “There’s a lot he needs to get off his chest in relation to all that. He can’t keep thinking he’s the reason everything has happened to his sister. It’s just not right.”
“Have you heard from him yet this morning?” Ian asks.
My face drops. “I, um, didn’t have my phone on me last night.”
Finnick runs his thumb over my leg, almost like he’s trying to assure me that everything’s okay.
Ian pulls his out. “Let me just text him to get an update. I’ll tell him you told us they found her.”
Ian sends off a quick text, and like before, Archer responds right away. Ian frowns at the screen though. “He says they’re all talking right now. He’ll let us know afterward.”
I look around the table. I used to think people like these guys, who had celebrity and fame and money...well, I thought they had it all. I thought they had cushiony lives where money made everything okay. I would never have thought they had to deal with as much as regular people do. Not only that, but that maybe they have to deal with more than regular people do too. Or at least different things.
I hate that they’ve all been through tough shit.
Ian with his parents.
Sean and his gold-digging ex.
Finnick and this god-awful monster.
Archer and his sister’s issues.
I count myself lucky in that moment. Maybe darkness is what attracts me to these guys. It’s different. And in the same token, maybe Ian was right when he said what attracts them to me. My light. He said everyone in the dark needs someone in the light. Maybe I could be that for them. A way for them to see out of the darkness.
We sit and eat the rest of our breakfast in relative silence until I excuse myself to my room. Not that I don’t mind wearing Finnick’s clothes, they’re actually quite comfortable, but I really want to get into my own clothes and maybe put on some makeup, so I feel a little more human for the rest of the day.
When I get into my room, I find my phone and respond to a few texts from Archer. Nothing major, just him saying they’re going to be talking as a family soon and thanking me for the names and numbers I gave him last night.
After I text him, I text Heather. I tell her everything. Well, everything except the secrets the guys hold tightly to. I tell her this has been the most life-changing experience. I tell her I’m falling for all of the guys and I have no idea what to do about it.
I’m used to not being happy in relationships. Sure, it’s all warm and new in the beginning, but then that wears off, and lots of times, there’s nothing left. There isn’t anything that leaves me attracted to them.
But with these guys,
I feel like we got into the hard shit first. There was no warm and fuzzy period. Hell, I downright didn’t like a few of these guys. Most of these guys, actually. Now, I don’t even want to think about what will happen when I have to go back to school when they finish their album. How can I make a relationship work with four rockstars?
It seems impossible.
28
A couple of days pass in the little bubble I’ve made for myself. Heather doesn’t respond to my text right away, and I know it’s because she’s on vacation in Europe. If I was at home with her gone, I would be miserable and lonely. Instead, I feel like I’m finally living my life. I feel like I’m right where I need to be. I’ve never had that feeling before. Not even when I decided to go to college. I went to school because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. No other reason.
When I see the guys now, my head bursts with things to say to them. I want to tell them how much being here means to me. It shouldn’t be that hard. Finnick opened up about what happened to him and that was so much more than this, but I can’t find the words. It’s the fear of rejection. It’s pushing back on me like a medieval torture device, keeping me in place.
Every day, we work in the studio. We want to get everything ready, so that when Archer returns, he just has to head in, do his thing, and then they can send everything to Nolan.
But the more we get done, the more I start to panic inside. The more I see this summer coming to an end soon. The guys are already talking about the future. They’re looking forward to their fans hearing their new songs. Their looking forward to a headlining tour. And hell, even the media blitz that happens with their new releases. With each song we finalize, I can see the anticipation grow and grow, and trust me, I feel it too. This album is amazing. It’s everything it should sound like and more. I can’t imagine Nolan and Marco not being happy. They’re going to be thrilled because this is about to make a shitton of money for Big City. It’s even better than their first album. And that’s saying a lot coming from me. I loved their first album with a capital L.
One evening, the guys get a call from Nolan. I’m asked to leave the room, so they can talk business. Finnick gives me a quick squeeze before I leave while Sean throws me an apologetic smile. I head downstairs, put my bathing suit on and then leave through the sliding glass doors. I haven’t been to the beach in a few nights, choosing to spend my time with the guys instead, and now that I see the end in sight, I want to make sure I get as much out of this experience as I can. Soon, it’ll be over, and I won’t have the beach right out my back door anymore.
I lie out there until dusk turns to dark. A while after that, footsteps making their way toward me in the sand. I look up, and the first thing I see is a shock of blond hair against the dark night. I sit straight up. “Archer.”
“Hey,” he says. He looks unsure of himself, but sits down, holding his knees to his chest.
“You’re back.” A smile pulls my lips apart. Archer and I didn’t leave the best of friends. We had one moment, a moment I thought might have pulled us out of the funk we’d been stuck in, but now that he’s right here in front of me, I don’t know how to act. It was easier when it was through text. I don’t get the full-on powerful look of his deep blue eyes when we’re communicating through a cell phone screen.
His eyes never leave mine though. “I’m back.”
“Well?”
Since the day he said they were all talking, he really hadn’t responded much. I just assumed he was busy but seeing the lines on his face makes me worry if something else happened while he was home.
He runs a hand through his hair until it falls back in much the same position it was in. “She’s back in,” he says.
I expected a smile, some sort of sign of victory, but nothing like that comes out of Archer. I reach over to touch his foot, but I pull back at the last second. I forgot I don’t have a right to touch Archer like I do the others. That feeling is just inside my head.
He moves closer to me, dropping his hand in the sand to tangle with mine. Relief floods me as he says, “She’s in the same facility as last time.” A tentative smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. “I told all of them this is the last time. I told them I won’t be paying for shit or dealing with shit again.” He squeezes my hand, and I squeeze it right back. “I told my family that what happened isn’t my responsibility. I told her I was in the scene longer, and I never went down that path, so I can’t be the reason she got hooked or the reason why she gets off it. The only thing I can do is help her.”
My eyebrows rise. “Wow, Archer.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah. There was a lot of yelling.”
“What did they say?”
“She’s good with it,” he says, a full smile coming out now. “I think that’s what she needed to hear. Who knows, tomorrow she could be checking herself out of the place, but for right now, she knows she’s right where she should be. My parents, though...”
He hesitates, and I can already tell by the way his face is morphing that this didn’t go as well as the other.
“I guess Ian’s parents and mine need to become best friends because they know how to let their fucking sons down.” He shrugs. “It’s okay. Despite their reaction, I feel better than I have in a long time.”
I take a deep breath. “You did what you needed to do,” I tell him, trying to reassure him. “You can’t carry the weight of all that around when it wasn’t yours to carry in the first place.”
His deep blue eyes lift to mine. “I don’t know how you got so fucking smart for someone who’s still so fucking young, but...I appreciate everything you did for me while I was gone. I’m sorry I was so hesitant with you before. I wasn’t sure of your intentions, and I’m overly protective of what the guys and I have. It’s pretty much the only place we can be ourselves and not feel the weight of other shit.”
How right he is. He just put it so perfectly. They have a bond that’s had to harden over the years, so they can keep what they have. “I know.”
His gaze drops to my lips, and my heart beats faster in my chest. “I don’t know how this is going to work. I know you have a thing with Sean and Finnick, but I...I like you too, Aisley. It pissed me off that I did, and that was another reason for me to rebel against those feelings.”
I’m shocked at first when he doesn’t mention Ian, too, but then I remember that he was gone when Ian and I succumbed to our feelings for each other. “Ian, too,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek. “I guess I just have a thing for the guys who make up The Rowdy Rogues.”
“I should’ve guessed,” he says, chuckling to himself. “Fucking Ian gets whatever he wants. I knew that fucker was protesting too loudly.”
I don’t know why, but that makes me smile. I like the idea of Ian trying not to like me. It seems exactly like something he would do, but he also gave into it. I made him do that. A sense of satisfaction rolls through me. I just might have the upper hand over Ian. Who would’ve thought that would happen?
“Have you seen the guys yet?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder toward the house.
He shakes his head. “I came right in. When I looked out, I saw you, so I came out here first. I wanted to see if there was anything here. To see if you felt something for me too.”
I nod, excitement rolling through me. Archer looks almost shy when he says it. “There’s definitely something,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “You must be some kind of super woman to attract all four of us. We’ve never liked the same girl before. This is just...crazy.”
It is crazy, but I’m fine with that. Hell, maybe that’ll become my new motto.
Bring on the crazy. I’m ready.
I start putting my bag together and Archer helps me up before sliding his hand around my waist. “I’m glad you’re back,” I tell him.
He doesn’t say anything for a bit and when I look over, I notice he looks tired. “Me too.”
“The guys were on the phone with Nolan when I came d
own here. I don’t know what it was about. I got ushered out of the room pretty quickly.”
Archer sighs.
“But the good news is, we’re almost done. I mean, you guys are almost done. I think you’re going to be really surprised by how the songs are turning out.”
He bumps me with his hip. “Hey, I know you helped. You can say we. If the guys have a problem with that, I’ll kick their asses.”
I raise my eyebrows at him, but he just laughs. It’s a hollow sound, probably brought on by the fact that he’s exhausted. We head up the stairs to the deck and then slip inside. I drop my bag just inside the door and then we head up to the third floor where the guys are still sitting around, worried looks on their faces.
Ian gets to his feet as soon as he sees Archer. “Oh, thank fuck.” He drops his head back, sending a glance toward the ceiling.
Each of the other guys take a collective breath of relief as well.
“What’s up?” Archer asks.
Sean gets up, comes over, and gives Archer a bro hug. “Nolan and Marco are on their way here tomorrow. We didn’t know what the fuck we were going to do.”
“Problem solved,” Archer says, opening his hands wide in a display of “I’m here.”
Finnick and Ian also greet him, and then Sean runs downstairs to grab everyone a beer.
“What did I miss?” Archer asks.
Ian gives him a look. “You first, jackass. Is everything okay?”
Archer pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a beer from Sean. “Rachel’s back in rehab,” he says, his voice taking on a more defeated tone than he had with me outside. “We’ll just have to see how long it lasts.”
“Hopefully it’ll stick this time,” Finnick says. “You guys deserve a little peace.”
“You ain’t kiddin’,” Archer says. He runs a hand down his face. “But distract me. Aisley says we’re almost done. I want to hear it.”
Ian plays the tracks we have ready. Archer makes comments here and there, and I can feel his body twitch like he wants to stand up and play his instrument right now. At the end, he beams. “It sounds fucking amazing. I’d switch track four and five for the final album, but we got it. Finally.”