“Want me to go with you?”
“No need.” Laura sat down, very close to Marcus this time. “Can you imagine what this means? If Nina was able to hear any of their conversation—the real conversation—then we might find out why Ted beat Lynch like that. You’re a genius, Marcus!”
Laura put her hands on Marcus’s cheeks, unable to hide her euphoria. Yet after a brief but intense look into his eyes, she put her hands down and withdrew.
The rest of their dinner party went on in more or less the same way. They talked about the case and how her visit to Nina might go the next day. Marcus kept struggling with the inner voice telling him that time was running short, that he needed to do something, that this opportunity was slipping away and that it would get harder and harder for him to reveal his feelings. Even Laura seemed a bit disconcerted. There were several uncomfortable silences, and subtle looks of incomprehension, and nothing seemed to give Marcus the confidence he needed to make the leap into the unknown.
Finally she said she was feeling sort of tired and she wanted to go see Nina nice and early the next morning so she would find her at home. Marcus said he was a little tired, too; he asked her to call him the next day and tell him how things went with Lynch’s secretary. She said she would. They walked in silence to the front door.
He stopped at the front closet, took out the hat he’d bought specially to impress her, and put it on very slowly, as if he were pondering some important question (which in fact he was). This was his last chance.
“I had a great time,” he said.
He didn’t move. Laura waited as long as she could. At last she went to him, put her hand on his shoulder, and kissed him on the cheek.
“I really enjoyed it, too. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Marcus walked across the darkened lawn, turning twice to wave good-bye to Laura, brooding over his regret and reproaching himself with every step he took toward the car. She was in shadow now, a look of disappointment sketched on her invisible face.
48
Laura supposed that Nina wouldn’t be going to work on a Saturday, but she didn’t want to risk missing her, so at half past seven that morning she rang the doorbell at the young woman’s modest apartment on Merrimack. Laura had hardly slept, in part because her dinner with Marcus hadn’t gone in the direction she had expected but mainly because she was sure that Lynch’s secretary would have something to tell her. Something revealing.
A sleepy face peeked out a window and disappeared. A second later a grumpy, disheveled Nina cracked the door open just wide enough to bark at Laura.
“Who is it?”
“Nina Jones?”
“Who are you?” the young woman said.
“Dr. Laura Hill. Ted McKay is my patient.”
She expected to see a reaction from the woman. Nina’s eyes, two slits held tight against the early morning sun, opened slightly.
“I don’t know anybody named—”
“The man who left your former boss in a coma,” Laura added. She waved the folder in her left hand. “Your declaration to Detective Brater indicates that you did know McKay. And he has confirmed it to me. May I come in?”
The door opened.
“It isn’t even eight yet,” Nina greeted her. She was wearing a baggy T-shirt and shorts. She turned around and went to a table covered with empty bottles, plastic cups, and disposable plates. Laura followed her. They sat down.
“What’d you say your name was?”
“Laura.”
The young woman nodded. “Any news about Mr. Lynch?”
“Still in a coma. The prognosis isn’t very promising.”
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Nina sat in her chair like a young girl, holding her knees to her chest. “I didn’t work for him very long, barely got to know him. He was very reserved, and a little odd, but he was a good person. Didn’t the guy who beat him go to prison?”
“Ted McKay is at Lavender Memorial Hospital, in the maximum security wing.”
Nina nodded. She seemed truly surprised.
“I know you were there on that day, Nina. I understand why you felt no need to tell it to Detective Brater, and I don’t think there’s any need to tell him now, but it might be important for you to talk to me.”
Nina denied it without much conviction. Laura had come prepared to use as much persuasion as necessary, to threaten turning her over to the police if necessary, but she found a defenseless, terrified young woman and she knew immediately that threats would be the wrong approach for her. Nina felt the burden of having misled the police, and apparently that was enough. Laura went on.
“The police report has photographs that show the Dunkin’ Donuts box you brought in that morning. Besides, Ted has made a lot of progress lately, and he remembers some of what happened that day: how he waited for you by the door to the office and how he forced you to let him in. You waited for Lynch with him and he threatened you with a pistol.”
That was enough. Nina was ready to break.
“Don’t worry,” Laura reassured her. “Like I said, I’m not with the police. I’m a doctor, and whatever you say will be held in confidence. Your account may be vital for curing Ted McKay. Help me understand why he did it. He and Lynch were college buddies—did you know that?”
“No.”
“Nina, I need you to tell me what happened that day.”
“You already practically said it all.”
“Not what happened when Lynch got to the office. I need you to remember every detail.”
Nina rubbed her face and sighed.
“Can I make myself some coffee? I didn’t sleep well.”
Laura nodded.
“Would you like some?”
“Actually, I would. I didn’t sleep well, either.”
While the water was heating, Nina ran to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. When she returned, now fully awake, she looked like a different person. She poured the coffee and set the cups on a corner of the table. She quickly cleared the bottles and plastic cups.
“Sorry about the mess. It was my roommate’s birthday.”
“Don’t sweat it. Have you found work?”
“Yes, another secretarial job. For another attorney.”
“I’m glad.” Laura got straight to the point. “Nina, please tell me what happened that day.”
“First off, I want to say that if I didn’t tell the police I was there that morning, it was because that’s what Lynch asked me to do, and also because the detective told me they’d already caught the guy. And the truth is, he didn’t seem very interested in what I had to say.”
“I understand.”
“What did you say the guy’s name was?”
“Ted McKay. You’d never seen him at the office before?”
“No, never. He was hiding in the shadows, waiting for me. He had a gun, and he was off his rocker. He really gave me a scare. He told me he wasn’t going to hurt me, asked me about the other offices, and told me we were going to wait for Lynch because he needed to talk with him. We were there for a while, several minutes—I don’t know how long. What I do know is that McKay changed during that time: he said he was sorry he had scared me, he promised nothing would happen to me. At first I didn’t even want to see his face.”
“What do you mean by he ‘changed’?”
“I mean, for a moment he seemed lost, sorry he’d shown up like that. Now that you tell me the guy’s crazy, I understand it all a lot better. He even told me I could have a doughnut.”
“Ted would never have hurt you.”
Nina wasn’t so sure.
“Maybe not. Anyway, he didn’t. We waited for Lynch in his office. When Lynch walked in, he saw me sitting at his desk and knew something was wrong. But when he saw McKay standing by one of his filing cabinets, his face was transformed. Like he turned to stone. Like he’d seen a ghost. By then I had started to relax a little, but when I saw his reaction I was more scared than ever. Lynch couldn’t stop staring
at McKay…”
Nina drank half her cup of coffee. She put it down on the saucer and went on.
“Suddenly Lynch looked at me as if he’d forgotten I was sitting there. He told me him and Ted were friends, so not to worry. At the time I didn’t think it was true—I thought he was just saying that to get me to chill. He asked McKay to let me go, but at first McKay wouldn’t agree. Actually, more like he couldn’t hear Lynch. Lynch was trying to calm him down, slowly moving closer with his arms out, telling him everything was going to be all right, that he shouldn’t do anything he’d regret, and that he and some girl named Holly were going to tell him about it sooner or later—they were just waiting for the right time.”
Laura couldn’t hide her surprise.
“That’s right,” Nina added. “I got it right away, too. Lynch and McKay’s wife were having an affair, and McKay had just found out. I can’t remember if he was any more specific about it, but at the moment nothing could have been clearer. That’s what you think, too, isn’t it?”
Actually, what Laura felt was disappointment, because the truth was that she had been hoping Ted’s motive for going to the office wasn’t to confront Lynch over the affair with Holly. Ted had known about it for weeks. Why such an explosive reaction at this point?
“But McKay told Lynch he hadn’t come there to talk about that,” Nina said.
That’s it!
The young woman finished her coffee in one quick gulp and went on.
“Lynch was very nervous. I’d never seen him like that. He asked McKay to let me go, said I didn’t have anything to do with it, and McKay agreed. He told me if I called the police it would just make things worse. I would have done it anyway, but Lynch also asked me not to. I hadn’t known him very long, but I could tell he was asking me sincerely—it wasn’t just an act to make McKay think the opposite. I don’t know if they were mixed up in some sort of dirty business or what, and frankly I don’t want to find out. But Lynch asked me not to tell the police, so I didn’t. I—I had no way of knowing what would happen next.”
“You did what Lynch asked you. If you had called the police, no doubt Lynch would be dead.”
“That’s what McKay told me! If the police showed up, he’d shoot Lynch on the spot.”
“Nina, are you sure Ted said his visit had nothing to do with his wife’s affair?”
“I’m sure. When I left the office, I went to my desk to get my handbag. At that moment I heard McKay on the other side of the door. He was furious.”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘You trailed me to Blaine’s house. I saw you.’ I remember the name perfectly because my old boyfriend had a book with that title and it stuck in my memory.”
49
That Saturday Ted played chess for the first time. He didn’t lose a single game, of course, not even when he held back and left openings for his opponents. None of them had a strategic understanding of the game; they knew only the basic moves and a few simple tactics, so Ted beat them almost without trying. He started out cautiously, afraid that his superior skill might generate some sort of resentment among them, but the effect was the exact opposite. Sketch himself, practically unbeatable in C wing, displayed wonder and respect. Between games, Ted spoke to them of his time as a child chess prodigy, about the tournaments, and he told them he could teach them if they wanted. They all agreed, including Lester, who could be pretty reasonable when he wasn’t a prisoner of his extraterrestrial hallucinations.
The following day, in the showers, Sketch revealed that the patients in B wing also played chess. C wing had competed against them once and had gotten thrashed. The big guy, soaped up and smiling from ear to ear, told Ted that if they had another tournament and C wing had him on their side, they’d easily win. Sketch got an erection fantasizing about that possibility.
Ted quickly fit in at Lavender. He was beginning to get to know the three well-defined groups. In addition to the Chessmen, there were the Lunatics: older, worn down by years of medication and imprisonment. Some of them had severe problems and spent most of their time in front of the TV, or they simply isolated themselves in some nook where they stared vacantly. The third group was the Walkers, who preferred to be outdoors, either on the basketball court or anywhere in the enormous yard, walking, normally in pairs.
Mike didn’t belong to any of these groups; he seemed above them all. Ted was starting to wonder why he had been drawn to Mike in the first place. The guy had never shared his room with anyone, for example, and now…
Mike said hello. He was on his usual bench, reading a tattered book—not the one he’d been reading earlier that morning.
“You’re a reading machine.”
Mike dog-eared the page he was on and set the book aside. He never used a bookmark.
“It’s the only way to get out of here,” he reflected.
Ted sat down beside him. Several patients observed them closely, paying attention to the ritual by which they were getting to know each other, but none of them joined in.
“No games with your chess buddies today?” Mike asked in a serious tone. Ted was getting used to his dry sense of humor.
“Not today. Chess has the ability to transport you, focus your mind completely on the game, and I need to focus on other things.”
“Still thinking about your friend?”
“Yeah.” Ted reached into his pocket for the photo of himself and Lynch by the Uma Thurman poster. “I remember all of this—the dorm, the room, the damn poster—but not him.”
“That valve will open sooner or later, I promise. I’ve been through it. Almost everybody here has. Your brain keeps that valve closed because it can’t stand the pressure. When it heals and is ready for it, it opens it up again. It’ll happen from one moment to the next.”
“It sort of terrifies me. What could justify beating a friend and putting him in a coma?” Ted shook his head. “When I was in high school, I liked to get into trouble. I was a mixed-up kid, I guess. Over time, I put that temperament behind me. I’m a peaceful person. I can’t understand what could have happened.”
“Maybe your wife can throw some light on it. Is her visit still on for tomorrow?”
“Yes. Her and the girls. It’s silly, but I’m nervous about it. Do you have kids?”
Mike shook his head, gazing vacantly.
“I had a godson.”
They remained silent for a few minutes.
“But you get my point, don’t you?” Ted insisted. “How can my own family make me nervous? My girls! I want to see them more than anything in the world.”
“It isn’t easy for us to be seen like this—locked up.”
“Exactly. I’m supposed to be out there, with them, watching them grow up. Protecting them.”
“It’ll all go fine. You’ll see.”
Maybe the time had come to let himself be seen as vulnerable for once in his fucking life, Ted thought.
“Hey, Mike, about that possum…”
Mike looked at him. “Did you see it again?”
“No.”
“Look, Ted, what I just said is true. Your head will heal, and it will open that door when the moment comes. You’ll remember your friend, and also the reason why you beat him like that. All these ‘cycles’ you told me about are your mind’s attempt to create an illusion to protect you. Like the backdrops they use in plays. But backdrops come down, sooner or later, and you see what’s behind them. The possum might take you behind the curtain before you’re ready to see it. And that could be dangerous.”
50
Marcus had hardly slept, torturing himself all night over every detail of his date with Laura and regretting every lost opportunity. At lunchtime he had no choice but to go to the cafeteria, but he picked a small table for four that most people avoided because it was right next to the kitchen door. To make it clear that he didn’t want to be disturbed, he brought along a thick pathology manual that he had no intention of reading. He propped the manual next to the salad plat
e he planned to scarf down in record time.
Laura, who rarely ate lunch at the same time as the others, walked into the cafeteria just then, looking everywhere. When she saw Marcus, she waved to him and hurried over.
“I need to talk to you.”
Marcus realized from the excitement in her face that this wasn’t a personal issue.
Better.
“Can I get you something to eat?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I don’t have time. This morning I went to see Nina…”
Nina? Marcus hid his confusion for a few seconds while he placed the name: Lynch’s secretary.
“Oh, really? Did she tell you anything?”
“Yes.” Laura couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. “It was easy after I showed her the picture we found of the Dunkin’ Donuts box. It happened exactly the way Ted told it in the first cycle. She was there until they let her leave. But get a load of what happened next.”
Laura was leaning across the table, her face just inches from his. Marcus had time to glance around and notice that some of his colleagues were watching them.
“What happened?”
“Before she left, she heard through the door that Ted was telling Lynch he knew he had tailed him to Blaine’s house.”
Marcus tried to fit this piece into the puzzle. He recognized that the case was gradually drawing him into its web, too. This simple statement could be telling them a couple of things. First, that Lynch also knew Blaine. Second, that Ted’s visit to Blaine’s house seemed to be what had led to the confrontation between the two friends and the subsequent attack.
“What do you think?” Laura asked.
“Well, there’s no doubt about it now: Ted really did go to Blaine’s house. And if you want to know my opinion, I doubt he went there with friendly intentions. I’m not saying he went to kill the guy, but to beat him up, at least.”
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