How a man his size managed to look like a repentant first-grader was beyond her understanding. She took pity on him and gave him a small smile. “I hope you enjoy it.”
Nodding, he grinned in return. “I’m sure I will.”
From the head of the table Marge asked, “Where is Crystal?”
Annie glanced at the clock. “She said she had a few errands to run and not to wait for her.”
A small crease appeared between Marge’s brows. “She’s been gone a lot lately. Did she borrow your car again?”
“Yes, but I don’t mind. She puts gas in it. Don’t worry—she knows she has to be back before the meeting tonight.”
The smile Marge tried for looked forced. “Still, I think I should talk to her. I have the feeling that something isn’t right.”
Smiling at her, Annie said, “You worry too much.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Marge looked at Shane. “Would you like to lead us in prayer tonight?”
“Me?” His voice didn’t quite squeak, but his apprehension was painfully clear.
Olivia giggled but quickly subdued her mirth at her mother’s quelling stare.
Looking sheepish, he said, “I’m afraid I don’t know many blessings for eating except the one that goes ‘Good food, good meat’…and I don’t think that’s what you had in mind.”
It was Annie’s turn to choke back a laugh. Marge scowled at her, then turned her attention to Shane. “There aren’t any rules. Just tell God what you have to be thankful for.”
“Okay.” Taking a deep breath, he bowed his head and closed his eyes. “God, Thank You for the food on this table.”
Annie felt his gaze. When she opened her eyes, she found him staring at her.
“Thanks, too, for giving me the chance to know these special people,” he said quietly.
Hoping their interplay and her blush would go unnoticed, Annie glanced toward Marge. Mercifully Marge’s perceptive eyes were still closed and her head was bowed in prayer.
“And thanks for not letting me fall off the roof today. Amen,” he added in a rush.
“Amen,” Marge echoed, but not before Annie saw the tiniest twitch at the corner of her mouth.
“We still can’t thank you enough for fixing our roof,” Marge said as everyone began filling their plates.
“It’s my pleasure. It’s been kind of fun doing something besides taking care of horses and riding.”
“I’d never get tired of taking care of a horse if I had one,” Olivia asserted, passing a bowl of peas and pearl onions to her mother.
“Don’t be too sure of that,” Shane said. “They take a lot more looking after than you might imagine. Especially horses that work as hard as ours do.”
“Annie tells me that you’ll be leaving soon.” Marge spooned a portion of vegetables onto her plate and handed the bowl to Annie.
“My tour with the Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard will be finished the end of July. After that I’ll be returning to my regular unit.”
“Will you, like, be driving tanks and things?” Olivia asked.
“Mostly I’ll be fixing helicopters. It’s what I do.”
“That’s cool.” Olivia forked a bit of casserole into her mouth.
“Shane is being transferred to a base in Germany,” Annie added. That, among other things, was part of the reason she resisted his requests to be involved with the baby. He wouldn’t even be in the country, so how could she include him? She couldn’t—even if she wanted to—which she didn’t.
Olivia turned her attention to Annie. “Are you going to find out if you’re having a boy or a girl tomorrow?”
Glancing toward Shane, Annie caught the sudden interest in his eyes. Looking down at her plate, she separated a small piece of carrot from the noodles with her fork. “I see my doctor tomorrow, but the sonogram isn’t until next week. I haven’t decided if I want to know or not.”
“Why not?” Shane asked.
“I’m not sure. It seems a little like peeking at my Christmas presents three months early. I think I’d rather wait until the big day.”
“What about you, Shane?” Olivia asked. “Do you want a girl or a boy?”
“I’d like to know that everything is okay. Whether it’s a boy or a girl really doesn’t matter.”
“I hope it’s a girl,” Olivia said. “But a boy would be nice, too.”
Annie looked up to see Shane hiding a smile. He winked and said, “I’m sure it will be one or the other.”
Olivia rolled her eyes at him. “Well, duh! Have you picked out names yet, Annie?”
Watching Shane’s face, Annie said, “I’ve always liked the name Joshua for a boy. I haven’t decided on a girl’s name yet.”
Shane met her gaze. “Joshua. Josh. It’s a good name.”
“What about you, Shane?” Marge asked. “Have you given any thought to names for the baby?”
Shaking his head, he looked down. “I haven’t. I think that should be Annie’s decision, but I do have one request. If it’s a girl, please don’t name her Pat or Jane.”
Perplexed, Annie asked, “And why not?”
“Something tells me that any daughter of yours will already have a predisposition to stubbornness without being named after the mules in the Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard.” The humor in his voice made Annie grin in return.
“Very well, I’ll take Pat and Jane off my list of girl’s names.”
“Thanks, that’s all I ask.”
Annie’s smile faded. If only that were true. But it wasn’t. He was asking for so much more—more than she could give. Yet every day she found herself questioning that conviction.
What would sharing the burdens and the joys of raising a child with Shane be like? More and more she found herself imagining them all together. It was foolish, but deep in the corners of her heart she wished it could be real.
When the meal was finished, Marge pushed back her chair. “I’m sorry to eat and run, but I’m manning the phones at the crisis center tonight. Olivia, I expect you to mind Annie at the meeting tonight.”
“Aw, Mom, do I still have to go? You know I’m not going to pull a stunt like that again.”
“I never expected you to pull a ‘stunt’ like that in the first place. So, yes, you still have to go. I want you to see exactly what kind of harm alcohol can do to people’s lives.”
“I already know!”
“I don’t think you do. You’re going with Annie tonight and that’s final. Maybe after this you’ll think twice about following someone else’s lead when you know it’s wrong.”
“I already said I was sorry. It’s been a week. I can’t understand why I’m still grounded from seeing my friends or why I have to go to some gross AA meeting with people I don’t even know.”
“That’s enough, Olivia.”
Looking as if she wanted to protest further, Olivia opened her mouth, but Marge forestalled her. “Not another word.”
“Fine. I’ll be in my room. Call me when you’re ready to go, Annie.”
Olivia stomped out of the kitchen without a backward glance. Rising, Annie picked up her plate and stacked it on top of Marge’s. The clacking of stoneware on stoneware sounded unusually loud in the sudden tense silence.
Marge sent both Shane and Annie apologetic looks. “I’m sorry about that. Annie, I should be the one taking her. I shouldn’t pawn off the task on you.”
“You aren’t pawning anything off on me. I’m glad to do it. Besides, it might feel less like punishment to her if you aren’t there.”
“That’s what I’m hoping. If I went with you, she’d only spend her time sighing and glaring at me. I don’t know why she’s so angry. I’m the one who should be mad.”
Annie set the dishes down to give her friend a quick hug. “From personal experience I can tell you Olivia’s anger is more about being disappointed in her own behavior than about being mad at you. She’ll get over it.”
“I hope so. Shane, I’m sor
ry that you had to witness my daughter’s surly behavior.”
“That’s okay, Mrs. Lilly. I wish my dad had cared enough to ground me when I was Olivia’s age. If you ladies will excuse me, I’m going to get back to work while I have some daylight left.”
Annie nodded and watched him leave by the back door. As she began to gather up the rest of the plates, Marge stopped her with a hand on her arm. “He seems like a good man, Annie. Are you sure you’re doing the right thing by excluding him from your baby’s life?”
Annie glanced toward the door to make sure he was gone. “It’s the right thing. He’ll forget all about us in a few months.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’d like to believe that, but I just can’t. I need to do this myself. I have to be strong for this child. I can’t risk depending on someone who’ll let me down when I need him.”
“I know you’ve been in bad relationships before.”
“Yes, I have, and every time I thought they were men I could depend on, but they weren’t. When things got rocky, they all took off, and I spiraled deeper into depression and drinking because of it. I got sober with God’s help. I’ll stay sober with God’s help and because this baby needs me.”
“I’m sure you will, Annie. You’ve come so far already. But don’t count out the support of your friends.”
“I don’t. I know that you and Crystal and the people at group will always be here for me. That’s enough.”
Marge glanced at the clock. “I wish we had more time to talk about this, but I have to get going.”
“Marge, I’m fine. Stop worrying. I don’t want to make you late.”
“Are you sure that you’re all right with taking Olivia?”
“Of course I am. Now, get going. There’s no telling when God will send some other needy soul in your direction.”
Smiling, Marge nodded and headed for the living room. At the doorway she paused and looked back. “I’m really glad He sent you to me. You’re a special person, Annie.”
“You’re nowhere near as glad as I am.”
“I wish you would consider the fact that God may have sent Shane into your life for a reason.”
“I don’t need him.”
“That may be true, but what if he needs you?”
Chapter Nine
It was beginning to get dark by the time Shane finished the section of the roof he had been working on. After climbing down, he removed the ladder and carried it to the garden shed at the back of the yard. He then brought his tools around to his car parked at the side of the house. Since Marge’s coupe was gone, he assumed that she had already left for the evening. Annie’s car was gone, too.
He couldn’t help but wonder if Olivia was giving Annie the same attitude about attending the AA meeting that she had given her mother earlier. He hoped not. Annie deserved praise for her efforts, not criticism.
After opening his trunk, he threw his gear in and closed the lid. He heard the sound of Marge’s front door opening and glanced toward the house. To his surprise, he saw Annie standing in the open doorway.
“I’m done for the night,” he called, and gave her a brief wave.
Advancing down the steps, she paused on the walk. “I thought I heard a car door. I was hoping it was Crystal. She promised to be home before we had to leave for the meeting.”
He took a step closer. “She isn’t back yet?”
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the street.
He walked toward her. “Maybe she had car trouble. Do you want me to wait?”
“Thanks, but I’m sure she’ll be here any minute. She knows that I’m leading the group discussion tonight and that Olivia is coming with us. I’ve tried her cell phone, but she has it turned off. If she had car trouble, I’m sure she would have called.”
“Maybe she just forgot the time.”
“Maybe.”
“Why don’t I give you and Olivia a lift?”
“It’s out of your way, but thank you.”
He narrowed the distance between them until he was close enough to see the worry in her eyes. “Junction City isn’t a big town, so I’m sure your meeting isn’t that far out of my way.”
She glanced back toward the door of the house. “I hate to impose.”
The evening breeze carried the scent of her perfume to him. The sweet fragrance stirred a recollection from his early childhood. He leaned closer. She didn’t pull away. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply and tried to capture the elusive memory.
“White flowers.” He didn’t realize he had spoken aloud until he heard her soft indrawn breath.
He opened his eyes and met her uncertain gaze. Large and luminous in the growing dusk, her eyes were filled with bewilderment and another emotion that sent his pulse racing.
“You smell like the white flowers my mother grew in hanging baskets on our front porch. I don’t remember what they were called.”
“Jasmine,” she whispered softly.
He reached out and stroked her cheek with his finger tips. “Jasmine—that’s right. I remember breathing in their fragrance and trying to so hard not to breathe out.”
With sudden clarity Shane knew that this moment would become a treasured memory for him. He longed to capture and keep everything exactly as it was now. The way her long braid hung over her shoulder, begging him to run his hand down its soft length. The way the wind teased a few strands of her hair loose to flutter beside her small, delicate ears. The way her lips curved with the hint of a smile.
Oh, yes, the smells of a summer evening and jasmine would forever remind him of her.
If she only knew how much he wanted to stay near her, to help her, to make her smile. The astonishing thing was that none of the feelings running through him had anything to do with the fact that she was carrying his baby.
Annie struggled to calm her pounding heart. The touch of his hand on her cheek crystallized her jumbled feelings. In spite of her best efforts to remain indifferent, she was falling in love with this man. Head over heels in love. She longed to follow the flow of her emotions and step into his arms, but some small part of her brain recognized doing that was a recipe for disaster.
The streetlight on the corner flickered on. He let his hand fall to his side. “It’s a good memory.”
She stood there, looking up at him with a strange sort of wonder. Finally she said, “Good memories are something to cherish.”
He drew a deep breath and smiled as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “So can I give you and Olivia a ride?”
His nonchalance helped steady her shaky nerves and forced her to think about the matter at hand. She didn’t want to accept his offer. She needed time away from him. Thinking was hard to do when he stood so close. She glanced at her watch and then down the still-empty street.
It didn’t seem that she had a choice, not if she was going to keep her commitment to her AA group and to Marge. Hoping she sounded as unaffected as he did, she said, “If you’re sure you don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind at all.”
“Let me leave a note for Crystal, then Olivia and I will be right out.”
She turned away and hurried up the steps, but at the doorway she paused and looked back. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Annie, you might feel that way, but I don’t.”
“How can I make you see that isn’t true?”
“You can’t. Go get Olivia and come on, or you will be late. Didn’t you say you were the speaker?”
“If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be accepting your offer.”
“How’d you get to be so stubborn?”
“Practice. How did you get that way?”
“It comes naturally—just like my charm.”
Grinning, she turned away and entered the house. Olivia was waiting on the sofa. Pulling a piece of paper and a pen from the small pine desk by the window, Annie said, “Crystal isn’t back yet.”
Olivia sat up
hopefully. “Does that mean we aren’t going?”
“No, Shane has offered to drive us.”
Sinking back into the cushions, she mumbled, “Great.”
“It won’t be bad, I promise.” Annie finished her note and posted it on the message board the family used in the hallway.
When she came back into the living room, Olivia rose from the couch and headed to the door. “I guess if there’s no way out of it, I might as well get it over with.”
“That’s the spirit.” Annie patted her shoulder as she walked past.
Shane waited beside the car. He opened the door, pulled the seat forward and waved them in. “Ladies, your chariot awaits.”
“I’ll ride in back,” Olivia said before squeezing herself into the sports car’s rear seat. Annie was happy to let her. Getting into and out of tight places was harder now that her jeans were getting snug. Soon she’d need to invest in some maternity clothes.
After Shane shut the door, Annie laid a hand on her slightly rounded tummy. The idea of outgrowing her limited wardrobe had once made her frown, but tonight the thought brought only a glow of happiness. This baby was changing everything.
Shane opened his door and slid behind the wheel. He glanced toward her, his eyes settling on her hand. “Are we ready?”
“I’m getting there,” she answered, and smiled at him.
“That’s a good thing,” he said softly, meeting her gaze with a smile of his own. Knowing that he understood boosted her happiness a notch higher.
From the backseat Olivia muttered, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
Exchanging amused looks with Shane, Annie turned and pulled her seat belt out and fastened it with a click.
Following Annie’s directions, it took Shane less than ten minutes to reach their destination. As he pulled into the parking lot of a small, modern brick church, he noted with surprise that there were several dozen cars already parked close to the building.
Annie opened her door. “Thank you for bringing us, Shane.”
“I don’t see your car in this bunch. It looks like Crystal hasn’t made it yet. Why don’t I stick around in case you need a ride home?”
“That won’t be necessary.”
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