by Mia Knight
She stared at the way the light revealed and then concealed his features as they sped past buildings lining the freeway.
“Raul handles it better than the rest of us. If it wasn’t for their murders, he would probably be the fucking mayor of New York. Instead, he does what he needs to. Family. That’s all we know. You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us, and you bear our wrath. I wear my parent’s tainted memory on my skin for everyone to see, and I send motherfuckers like their murderers to hell with a smile. That’s what pushes all of us, including you.”
“No,” she said faintly.
“Let me guess. What used to satisfy you won’t do it for you anymore. That’s why you’re out every night, why you were dancing on stage at the strip club. Your cheap thrills won’t work anymore.”
“Gentlemen’s club,” she muttered.
“I know what works for my cravings.” He glanced at her. “You need to find out what yours is.”
Her restless, insatiable hunger jumped from food to bloodlust at the speed of light. No one could have stopped her. It was probably only sheer disbelief that she would do something so stupid in front of witnesses that kept anyone from reacting faster. The wrath Maddog ignited still burned in her gut. Tonight, she killed a man in cold blood without an iota of remorse. Even now, she felt nothing. If she could kill him again, she would. Gavin signed his death warrant. The words knocked around in her head. She bowed her head and curled her toes in her shoes in a vain attempt to keep memories of Vinny from intruding.
“I’ll take care of the Black Vipers,” Angel said.
“What?”
“They won’t touch you. That’s why I took the head shot. Hopefully, I can get eyes off you by claiming the kill.”
She froze. For the first time, she stopped thinking about why she killed and focused on the other part—who. She killed the leader of the Black Vipers, the most notorious and violent biker gang on the West Coast. Fuck. “My mom—”
“I’ll send someone to watch your place.”
She dropped her face in her hands. Just when the danger should have disappeared, she reignited it by doing something monumentally stupid. “Shit.”
“I’ll take care of it. I was planning to kill him myself, but if it made you feel better, so be it.”
He didn’t give two shits that she killed a man in cold blood. Even as it soothed her bloodlust, a voice in the back of her head said something was very wrong about the fact that Angel thought killing people was appropriate if it made you feel better. And on that note…
“What the hell was that?”
“My introduction as crime lord.” He gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Everything went according to plan, including killing Maddog. I just didn’t expect you to be the one to do it.”
“You planned to kill him all along and took me with you? Are you crazy?”
“Your father was an enforcer, and you were married to Vinny. I doubt much shocks you. Besides, you’ve killed before.”
“That was self-defense!” she shouted and then realized where they were. “Turn left.” Angel obeyed, and she continued her rant. “I don’t kill people when I’m bored.”
“No, only when provoked. It was your right to kill him, Carmen.”
She leaned toward him, sure any moment now she would breathe fire. “You shouldn’t have forced me to go with you! I fucking killed a man, and you made enemies with the biggest players in the city! You need allies, not more enemies. Fuck. You have a death wish.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“They are going to kill you,” she enunciated, clapping her hands for emphasis with each word. “And me too. Turn here.”
“They can try,” he said absently as he looked around. “This neighborhood is…”
“Not what you’re used to?” she quipped. “Yeah, I know, rich boy.”
“Doesn’t look like someplace you’d be either, sweetheart, when you have the fortune you do. Your shoes cost more than the mortgage for these houses.”
“I grew up here.”
“And live with your mom?”
“Actually, I’m looking for a new place, and the sooner, the better it seems.”
“There’s a property near mine. Actually, maybe it’s better if—”
“No,” she clipped. “Turn left on Craig Road.”
“Maybe you should move back with Gavin and Lyla.”
“I’m fine.” She was so far from fine, it was ridiculous, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.
He followed her terse directions and pulled up to her family home. He put the car in park in her driveway. “I was hoping to give your demons what they needed tonight.”
It was almost nice in a fucked-up way. He was trying to help her. He understood her cravings and tried to feed them. She let out a long breath. “We’re alive. That’s all that matters.”
“There was never going to be another outcome.”
Arrogant. “How are you going home?”
He pushed open his door and climbed out. “Eli’s tracking me. He shouldn’t be far behind.”
“So, he’s your second?”
“If you want to call him that.” A car slowed down at the end of the driveway. “I think this is him.”
She heard a sharp ping that she didn’t understand until his body jerked. Two more muffled shots made him reel back as he took bullets to the chest. No. Rage blotted out common sense and fear. She grabbed her gun and tossed herself over the console and peeked her head out the driver’s side. Three men approached with their guns drawn to finish him off. It was a reenactment of Vinny’s murder. This couldn’t be happening to her again.
Her first shot went wide, but her second got one of them in the shin, and another in the man’s throat. A bullet lodged in the Aston less than six inches from her face, but she didn’t flinch. She was trying to get her bearings to make the last shot count when Angel shot two of them from his prone position. Sharp, earsplitting cracks split the air as Eli jogged up the driveway with a gun in each hand and took out the last hit man.
She bent over Angel, hands going to his chest, ready to apply pressure to keep him from bleeding out. She touched him, expecting to feel the sticky wetness of fresh blood, but there was nothing.
“Angel?”
“I’m wearing a vest,” he wheezed.
It took her a few seconds to process. When it did, she fell back on her ass. He sat up and gingerly touched his ruined shirt, marred by three holes.
“Fuck, that hurt,” Angel hissed.
Eli cursed under his breath and turned to confront her curious neighbors, who’d gathered in the street. Adrenaline drained from her as fast as it came. The horror of watching Vinny’s murder play out right in front of her with another man who claimed the crime lord position after Gavin stepped down was too much.
“Carmen?” Angel crouched beside her and touched her clammy skin. “Are you all right?”
She looked up at his handsome, arrogant face. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to throw herself in his arms or murder him. “No, I’m not.”
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
She forced herself up on shaky legs and faced Angel. Vinny’s death destroyed her so badly she wasn’t sure she would ever be okay again. She saw Vinny one last time before he was cremated. The memory of his blood-stained dress shirt and his open, horror-glazed eyes was ingrained in her mind for eternity. Angel’s fearlessness scared the hell out of her. Was he really that good or setting himself up for a bloody ending? He thought he could conquer the world and bring these men to heel. He thought his name and smarts were enough, but she knew the truth. Nothing would ever be enough.
“I can’t,” she said again.
“Can’t what?”
“Watch another man die. I’ve lost too much. I don’t have much left.”
He searched her eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but Eli called his name. She took the key
out of the Aston Martin and put her gun in the purse before she walked toward the house. It was Angel’s job to lie and do whatever he had to, to make the three dead bodies disappear. She was so fucking done.
It took several attempts to unlock her door since her hand was shaking so badly. When she finally got in, she leaned back against the door and closed her eyes.
“It’s done,” she whispered. “It’s over.”
Even as she said the words, she shook her head. Her mind kept replaying the way Angel jerked when he got shot and the awful sound he made as the wind got knocked out of him. How many times had her mind reenacted Vinny’s murder?
She walked upstairs, pushed open her door, and stared at Vinny’s urn. Her heart cracked, and so did the wall of denial. She dropped her purse and keys in the doorway and advanced as first one tear fell and then another. She sank to her knees in front of the dresser, buried her face in the carpet, and gave into the need to scream. The carpet muffled her tortured howl, so she did it again and again. She beat her hands against the rug until her fists were throbbing. If she had the strength, she would have destroyed her room, so it matched her insides.
Tonight, her deepest, darkest secret had been shoved in her face. It was a truth she had been avoiding since his murder. She’d never spoken the words out loud, never allowed herself to think about it because it would destroy her. The leader of the Black Viper gang was right. Someone had signed Vinny’s death warrant, but it wasn’t Gavin. It was her.
“I’m sorry, Vinny,” she whispered. “It’s my fault.”
13
Two Years Ago
She bounced on her toes as she watched Gavin and Lyla share a deep kiss. It took less than two weeks for Lyla and Gavin to pull their heads out of their asses. No one watching them would suspect they’d been apart for three years. The connection between them was electric. A couple of days ago, Lyla had been putting up the good fight and doing everything possible to hold him off and now… now, everything was back the way it should be. Her heart felt as if it could burst with happiness.
“You taste good,” Gavin said.
“It’s meatloaf,” Lyla replied.
“Damn, that sounds good.”
Gavin turned to Carmen and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for keeping Lyla company.”
She and Gavin had some rocky encounters during Lyla’s absence, but all of that was done now. The man looking back at her was a Gavin she hadn’t seen in years.
“No problem, and thanks for keeping her here permanently,” she said with a wink before she dashed to the car and slipped into the passenger seat. “Don’t they look happy?” she demanded as Vinny pulled away from the Pyre estate.
“They do,” he said. “How’s Lyla really doing?”
Her euphoria dimmed. “As good as she can be after being kidnapped and possibly raped.” Guilt lay heavy on her shoulders.
During a trip to the mall, Lyla had been kidnapped. No one had ever done something so stupid. Gavin recovered Lyla within a couple of hours, but the damage was done. She visited Lyla today for the first time since she had been recovered from an abandoned warehouse. Lyla was clearly shaken, and there was a raw fragility to her cousin that made her lightheaded with rage.
Vinny clasped her hand and squeezed. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“I shouldn’t have let her go off on her own.”
“Gavin will take care of it and send a message to whoever’s fucking with us.”
She turned toward him and pressed his hand against her breasts. “She’s staying,” she stage-whispered and then threw her arms wide. “She’s staying!”
He shot her an amused glance. “I heard.”
“Fucking Gavin.” She sighed and rolled down the window and sat sideways with her feet in Vinny’s lap. “I knew he could do it.”
He stroked her leg. “Was there any doubt?”
“Well, he fucked it up when he roughed her up and scared the bejesus out of her. He’s such an idiot.”
It had been a long week. First, Vinny told her Lyla was back; then she saw Lyla’s bruised and terrified state. It was no wonder Uncle Manny lost his shit and gave Lyla sanctuary. Boy fucking lost his mind. Despite his immense stupidity, she saw the way Gavin watched Lyla. He was a hard son of a bitch, but she’d known him long enough to see past the tough exterior. He loved Lyla, always had. Why he cheated on her, she would never know, but this was the most animated she had seen him in years.
He pat her leg. “That’s done. She’s staying.”
She held up her hands and took a breath. “Right. Let’s focus on the positives. My girl is fucking back! I missed her so much.”
“I know.”
“It’s fucked up that it took this to get them back together.” She bit her lip. “Is it bad that I’m happy about it if it brought them together?”
“Don’t think about it. Just focus on the now.”
She knelt on her seat, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed the side of his face. “That’s why I love you. You’re so practical and cute.” She nibbled on his ear and undid the top buttons of his shirt. “You’re getting lucky tonight.”
“I love my life.”
She chuckled as she ran her hand through his thick chest hair. “And I love mine. I found a man who worships me.”
“That you do,” he said as her hand dropped to his lap. “And I have a woman obsessed with me. What’s not to love?”
She stroked him through his slacks. “You think it’ll ever fade?”
“No.”
There wasn’t a shred of uncertainty in his voice.
“How do you know?”
“Because it keeps getting worse,” he said as he arched into her hand.
“Worse?” she repeated with a frown.
He unzipped his slacks and forced her hand around his dick. She obliged, and he let out a hum of delight.
“On our anniversary, I think about how I felt when we first started dating and comparing it to now…” He sighed as she stroked him. “No fucking comparison.”
She smiled as she leaned down to take him in her mouth. His hand sifted through her hair.
“You don’t play games anymore.”
She raised her head. “What?”
“Carmen.” His dick poked her cheek as he raised his hips. She pushed his hand away, which tried to keep her head down.
“What do you mean, games?”
He groaned. “You can’t stop now.”
“Yes, I can. What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Carmen. You were always up to something. Flirting with other guys, throwing a fit over something. You put me through the wringer to see if I would fight for you.”
She smacked his chest. “You didn’t want to commit!”
He grinned. “Can you blame me?”
“Yes!” She sat in her seat with her arms crossed. “You played games too.”
“I did,” he said agreeably and fisted his dick. “But this isn’t a joke. Come on, babe.”
She tipped her nose in the air. “You dated that slut, Felicia.”
“Oh, hell. Don’t bring her up now—”
“You dated her for two weeks!”
“You were with Kody Singer.”
“So? She actually tried to talk to me. What a bitch… What are you doing?”
Vinny pulled off the highway in the middle of nowhere and turned off the car.
“What the hell are you—?”
He dragged her over the console, cupped her face, and kissed her. She tried to shove him away, but he held tight and kept it up until she relaxed. He pulled her thong to the side and worked himself in her.
“We both played games,” he breathed. “We both dated other people, but we always came back to each other. You know why?”
She glared at him even as she swiveled her hips to take him deep. “Why?”
“Because we love each other. There was never going to be anyone else fo
r either of us. It’s like Gavin and Lyla. We wouldn’t be who we are without the other.” He stared into her eyes as she moved on him. “You fought to get away from me and then you fought to get me back.”
She hadn’t wanted to be tied down when she was younger, but she’d never been able to let Vinny walk off with some other woman. She’d been wild and rebellious and sabotaged his relationships if he looked like he was getting serious with anyone. “You’re mine.”
“Yes. Always. Now, show me.”
She took her time. She didn’t care that cars passed while she tortured him. The car was more likely to get someone’s attention, but they had a gun if someone thought they were stranded and would be easy game. She used her years of experience to drive him crazy. She laughed when he reclined the seat, rolled her beneath him, and fucked her. A warm breeze brushed over their sweaty bodies as they came down from the high.
“I love you,” Vinny whispered.
“I know,” she said as she ran her hand through his sweaty hair.
He raised his head. “Gavin’s stepping down.”
“I know. I can’t believe it.”
Gavin had been born to rule, and he did so with a ruthlessness that kept everyone in check. Gavin deciding to give up his position was like giving up a chunk of his identity. It proved beyond a doubt that he loved Lyla more than anything else.
Vinny positioned them on their sides, so they faced one another. “He needs a replacement.”
“I know. Does he have someone in mind?”
He tensed. “I offered.”
“Wait, what?”
“You don’t think I can?”
“I’m sure you could but…”
“But what?”
Her husband presented a polished and suave exterior, but he battled crippling anxiety. He had always been a worrier and was constantly making lists because he was terrified of making a mistake. Vinny concealed his disorder well, but it was still there. It stemmed from his need to fit in with the Pyres after his parents died.