by Mia Knight
“But—”
“Even if Vinny hadn’t become crime lord, there was always a possibility he could be targeted because he’s a Pyre.”
“Yes.”
“You supported your husband because you wanted what he wanted. That’s what millions of women have done for men who risk their lives for country or code. Loyalty, that’s what we bred in you. You’re your father’s daughter. He gave you grit, but he also gave you heart. You defended your husband last night. I’m just glad you’re breathing today.”
“Mom—”
She grasped her face between both hands. “You loved him, Carmen, more than life. You love me, which is why you gave your blessing when you found out about Marv.”
“Yes, but—”
“You love, and there’s no shame in that. You care. You deserve to be happy. Vinny wouldn’t blame you, would he?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“No, he wouldn’t. What’s done is done. You did what you thought was right at the moment, and there’s no going back. You have so much life to live, Carmen.”
She sniffled.
“You give so much you don’t even notice. My friends are fighting over whose son you get to meet first. You listen to them, spend time with them, take care of them. You tip the pregnant waitress without hesitation. You spread good wherever you go. You help with your friend’s businesses, volunteer, and don’t hesitate to drop everything if someone needs help. You’re a good person, and you won’t convince anyone otherwise.” She eyed her sternly. “Let it go, Carmen.”
“It’s not that easy,” she whispered.
“You’ll get there.”
“How?”
“Be around people who love and appreciate you.” She stood and hugged Carmen from behind. “We’ll love you back to life. It’s the most powerful force on the planet. It can do wonders.”
She let out a long breath and let her mother’s love soothe her raw wounds. “Okay.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“We’re gonna get through this. One day at a time.”
“How do I do this?”
“You find something that makes you happy. You do that, and it’ll give you a break from the pain. Then you find something else that makes you happy, and you do more of that. Eventually, the good beats out the bad.” Mom stroked her hair. “How many shots?”
It took her a moment to figure out what she was asking. “Two. I missed on the first shot, but the second got him in the chest.”
Mom kissed her temple. “Your father would be proud.”
Her lips curved. “I know.”
The faint ring of a phone echoed through the house.
“It’s probably Lyla,” Mom said and rushed out of the kitchen.
She folded her arms on the table and rested her aching head on top. She took a deep breath and then another. Mom’s ministrations definitely worked. The bath to wash away the memories, the food to fill the emptiness, and the love to hold her in the present.
“Carmen.” She grunted as Mom walked in the kitchen. “It’s Gavin.”
She tensed. He was the last person she wanted to talk to when she was feeling this way. She played possum and didn’t raise her head.
“She can hear you,” Mom said.
Gavin’s angry voice filled the kitchen. “What the hell were you thinking, Carmen?”
She raised her head and glared at Mom who shrugged.
“Neither of you can stay there. It isn’t safe. Pack a bag and stay with us,” he said.
She felt her blood turn to ice. It was starting all over again. Her impulsive stupidity put Mom’s life in danger.
“I just moved in with Marv,” Mom said,
“Who’s Marv?”
“My fiancé.” When Gavin didn’t comment, she added, “I’ll invite you to the wedding, of course.”
“Of course,” he echoed.
“Carmen will stay with Marv and I.”
“I guess that should be okay since I didn’t even know you were engaged,” Gavin said after a pause. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Mom chirped gaily. “You’re going to love him. He’s so sweet.”
“I’ll take your word for it. There are two guards outside, Mickey and Frederick. They stay on Carmen at all times. Keeping you out of sight is just a precaution, Isabel.”
“I understand,” Mom said.
“I want you gone in the next fifteen minutes.”
“Will do. Thank you, Gavin.” Mom waited a good twenty seconds before she lowered the phone. “I guess he hung up. Let’s go, Carmen.”
Someone pounded on the door. Her survival instinct kicked in. She shot up from the table, climbed on the counter, and pulled the shotgun from the top of the cabinets. Mom pulled a tiny pistol from its hiding place behind the bread maker. She tiptoed to the door and waited.
“It’s Mickey and Frederick. Pyre says you need to be gone in fourteen minutes,” said a male voice.
She relaxed slightly. Fucking Gavin. She opened the door with the shotgun still in hand. Two men stood on her doorstep. They looked like FBI rejects with the blinding white shirts, black ties, and black suits. The Mexican built like a tank had sprawling tattoos on the back of his hands that twined around each finger. Probably covering up a gang tattoo. The second guy couldn’t be older than twenty-five. He was bright-eyed and excited before he noticed the gun. He took a step back while the other guard’s lip curled.
“I hope you know how to use that,” Mexican Hulk said.
She lifted the barrel. “Want me to show you?”
Mom bumped her to the side. “Carmen was taught to shoot when she eight years old, and I’m not such a bad shot myself.” She waved to Lamar, a teenager who lived three doors down and who was currently parked at the end of their driveway on his bike, watching avidly.
“They straight?” Lamar called.
“Yes, they work for Gavin.”
Lamar threw the peace sign and pedaled down the road. Mom turned back to the guards and waved them inside. “Carmen needs help with her things.”
It finally penetrated that she would be moving again, and this time to her future stepfather’s house, a man she’d met twice in her life. “Maybe I should get a hotel.”
“No.” Mom pushed her toward the stairs. “You have ten minutes. Don’t dawdle. Just take what you need. I’m sure you can always send someone to get more if you need it.”
“Marv doesn’t want—”
“You don’t know what he wants, Carmen Marie. Now, hush and hurry.”
It wasn’t until she felt an uncomfortable breeze that she realized her robe had loosened, giving a glimpse of her modest cleavage and stomach.
“You’re hurt?” the smaller guard asked as he stared at the angry scratches on her chest.
“No,” she said shortly as she cinched the robe and headed upstairs with the shotgun under her arm. She surveyed her room and heard the two guards stop behind her.
“I want those piles,” she said, pointing at four mounds of shoes, clothes, and shopping bags.
“All of those?” Wannabe Blade grunted.
“Yes.”
She could feel his irritation, but he didn’t argue. He opened her closet, found a duffel she used in high school for cheerleading and got to work. She kicked through a pile of clothes and found a purple velvet tracksuit. She went into the bathroom to change as the guys got to work. She looked in the mirror at her bloodshot, puffy eyes and took a deep breath. There was no time to think. No, once again life was propelling her forward. She found a bedazzled Ed Hardy hat, which she pulled low over her face, oversized sunglasses, and slipped into a pair of black platform sandals decorated with studs.
She packed her makeup and jewelry and handed it off to the younger guard before she hefted Vinny. She waved them off as she carried the urn to the Aston Martin. Her things had been loaded into an SUV.
“Will one of you drive her?” Mom called from the beat-up Toyo
ta. “She’s under the weather.”
“Mom!”
“Don’t argue, Carmen. I gave them the address. They know where we’re going. I’ll see you there!”
Mom waved as she backed out of the drive. She probably needed a head start to explain to Marv why she was showing up with her troubled daughter in tow.
“Ma’am?” the young guard asked tentatively.
She tossed him the keys, got into the passenger seat, and settled Vinny on the floorboard between her feet. She sat back and closed her eyes as the car began to move.
“I’m Mickey,” the guard said.
“Carmen,” she said with her eyes closed.
“Of course, we know all about you, Mrs. Pyre.”
She ground her teeth. “Just call me Carmen.”
“Okay.”
She felt congested and lightheaded from her crying fit. All she wanted to do was lay in a dark room and sleep, preferably for a week or two. Her phone rang. She hesitated before she fished it out of her purse.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey. I just wanted to remind you about Saturday,” Alice said.
“Saturday?”
“The animal adoption. You’re coming right?”
The meeting she attended with Alice about the arrangements felt like a month ago. “Oh, right. Yes. What’s today?”
“Thursday. Are you all right?”
No, she wasn’t, but she was a world-class actress. “I’m good. I went out last night and am only getting my day started now.”
“Oh, okay. Saturday, Cimarron Elementary.”
“Right. I’ll be there. Do you need anything?”
“A crowd to get these animals adopted.”
“Right. I’ll see you then.”
“Bye.”
After she hung up, Mickey said, “I doubt Pyre’s going to allow that.”
She held up a finger. “Don’t.”
He glanced at her. “Don’t what?”
“Tell me what I can or can’t do.” It was Maddog’s dare that put her over the edge last night. Mom was right; if someone told her not to do something, she would be compelled to do just that.
She sat back and stared out the window. She felt dead inside. It took a week for her new outlook on life to plummet in a hailstorm of blood, violence, and a reminder of past sins. Angel thought she needed to risk her life to keep her restlessness at bay. Mom didn’t want her going down that road, and neither did she. The last thing she wanted was to rub shoulders with people like Maddog and George Wotherton. Mom was right. She would find little things that made her happy and hang on for dear life.
She spotted a familiar building. “Turn here.”
“What?”
“Turn!” she snapped.
The tires screeched as Mickey made a sharp turn.
“The drive-through is around the corner,” she said.
“What are we doing?”
“I want a donut,” she said.
“What?”
“Do-nut,” she enunciated. “Strawberry, chocolate… whatever they have, I want it. I had one a week ago, and it made me happy, so we’re gonna get a dozen and hope it perks me up. Comprende?”
Mickey gave her a glance that suggested she’d lost her mind. His phone rang as he pulled up to the microphone. She leaned across him and hollered out her order as Mickey talked on the phone.
“She wants a donut. I know. We’ll be out of here in a sec.” He hung up. “Frederick’s covering us.”
“Of course, he is.” She handed him her credit card. “I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”
He grinned. “I’m sure I’ll like something from the three dozen you ordered.”
“I want Mom and Marv to have some too.”
Mickey handed her three hot boxes, which she placed on her lap. She waved at the Dunkin’ Donut’s worker who drooled over her car. She closed her eyes and sank her teeth into the pink frosting of a strawberry donut and let everything else cease to exist. It was pathetic to seek solace from a donut, but she would take what she could get. Anything had to be better than wallowing in a pit of self-loathing.
“Is that as good as it looks?” Mickey asked, ruining her moment.
She opened her eyes to find him watching her instead of where he was going. “Eyes on the road.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She bit into two other donuts, but none gave her a rush like the strawberry one. She sucked her finger and then smacked the door.
“Turn here.”
“Frederick’s not going to—”
She reached for the steering wheel. He cursed and brushed her hands away. “Okay, okay. Where are we going?”
She gave him directions and then handed him the donut boxes as she got out of the car. Frederick parked beside her and jumped out with his hand in his jacket.
“What’s going on?”
“I need stuff,” she said as she started toward Petco.
“What the hell?”
“There’s an animal adoption event coming up.”
“What the hell does that have to do with…?” Frederick began but broke off when he saw she wasn’t going to wait around to talk.
She walked into Petco with Frederick and Mickey flanking her. She found two workers to assist her on her shopping spree. She bought beds, leashes, food and water dishes, collars, toys, treats, etc. She settled on a delivery time with the manager who also agreed to advertise the event with some other stores as well. After handing over her credit card to pay over ten grand, she caught the look her guards exchanged.
“How’d you two get stuck with me?” she asked. “Is Angel or Gavin punishing you?”
“Neither. We volunteered,” Mickey said.
She frowned. “Why would you volunteer?”
“You’re with Roman, right?”
She stiffened. “Excuse me?”
“You were with him last night. He basically claimed you in front of everyone. We figured you were bound for action since you’re his.” He finally registered her outraged expression. “You’re not?”
“No! You were duped into playing babysitter for someone who is going to make you take her on fast food runs and attend animal adoptions.”
“So why were you with Roman last night?” Mickey persisted.
Why, indeed? Fucking Angel. She thanked the cashier and crumpled the epic receipt into a sizable ball as she marched out of the store. She pulled her phone out of her purse and pointed at both men to stay put as she dialed Angel. He answered on the fifth ring.
“I’m busy.”
“So am I,” she quipped. “Why did you really take me with you last night?”
“I told you.”
“For the rush?” she asked as she paced with a hand on her hip. “Is that all?”
“What else is there?”
“How about the fact that everyone thinks I’m yours now?”
“It’s for protection.”
“What?”
“The next time you do some wild shit, they know they’ll have to deal with me as well. I put you under my wing.”
“You put me on the map, jack off!”
“You wouldn’t be on the map if you hadn’t decided to shoot Maddog. I took the killing shot, but everyone who was there knows you would have kept shooting until he keeled over. Did you work through whatever shit was going on with you last night? It has to do with Vinny, right?”
She stomped her foot. “Stop trying to play my fucked-up therapist! You don’t know me!”
He chuckled. “I do know you. It’s like looking in a mirror. You, Luci, and I are cut from the same cloth. I don’t need to analyze you because I already get it.”
“You don’t get shit.”
“Right. Where are you?” he asked suddenly.
“In a Petco parking lot. Why?”
“You’re alone?” His voice was suddenly sharp.
“No, I have my guards.”
“Stop fucking around and get to your safe place. Once Gavin got invo
lved, the Black Vipers went to ground. Stay low and if you have to go out, don’t leave without them. Got it?”
“If you hadn’t taken me last night, I wouldn’t need guards,” she sassed back.
The line went dead. She cursed and turned to see Frederick and Mickey standing closer than they had been a minute ago. She glared as she pushed between them and got in the car. Mickey said nothing as he drove. Her foot tapped restlessly against the floorboard. If Angel hadn’t taken her to The Pussy, she would still be encased in her impenetrable wall of denial, a much-needed buffer that kept the guilt at bay so she could function. Now, it was in her lungs. With every breath she took, pain swirled around in her chest like fine shards of glass, leaving razor thin cuts on her insides.
Mickey pulled up to a house painted in baby blue and white with big bay windows and rose bushes in front. As she stepped out of the car, the front door opened, and Mom and Marv appeared. She waited with her hand on the door, bracing herself for a lecture or disapproving look from Marv.
“I thought something happened to you,” he said as he gave her a hug.
The smell of Old Spice and the burly feel of him went to her head like whiskey. Oh, Dad, I miss you so much, she thought and willed back the tears. Dad wasn’t here, but Marv was doing a damn good job of stepping up. He roused good memories that made her want to burrow against him and hang on tight.
“I brought donuts,” she said as he pulled away. She made a big show of reaching into the car to grab them.
His eyes widened. “You’d be a hit at the mechanic shop.”
“Really? I can deliver—”
He laughed and swung an arm over her shoulders. “No, that’s okay. Come inside.”
“Wait, let me get Vinny.”
He released her and watched as she hefted the urn. He didn’t comment as he led the way into the house. The Armstrong home had high beam ceilings, wood floors, and a big fireplace. Everything was open, airy, and filled with personal touches that said it had been well lived in. She got a glimpse of a well-kept backyard with thriving plants.
“This is it,” Marv said. “It’s simple but—”
“It’s perfect,” she said quietly as she clutched Vinny to her chest.
“I think so,” Marv said with his hands in pockets.
A young, exotic looking woman walked out of the hallway wearing jeans and a shirt two sizes too big for her. She had the perfect mix of both parents—creamy white skin from her father and slanted hazel eyes and pin straight black hair from her Asian mother.