“They both deserve Academy Awards.”
“Does anybody know who your dad is?”
“You’re smart,” said Alexa. “I think you’ll figure it out.”
“Cary Grant? Clark Gable?”
“Wishful thinking. No, you met him tonight.”
“I didn’t meet any movie stars.”
“You met a tall, dark stranger.”
“That guy?”
“I don’t believe it,” said Alexa. “We’ll need DNA tests to prove it. But I’ll never call him Dad.”
“I bet Hannah’s already calling him Grandpa Rob.”
Alexa polished off the drink, cubes rattling against the empty glass. “I’m ready to wake up from this nightmare.”
Zelda asked for a glass of water. Alexa added more gin to her glass and filled two tumblers with water. They both drank for a minute. The pleasant buzz made her head spin.
“Apparently Mr. Porterfield was a real stud,” said Alexa scornfully. “He has other children.”
“So you have siblings?”
“And they said this Vicky person is a country singer.”
“Dolly Parton or Reba McEntire?”
Alexa shrugged. “How could Sari keep this a secret for all these years? And what nerve dragging Rob here, claiming we’re a biological family. It’s totally nuts.”
“That depends on your definition of family.” Zelda’s voice was soft as she spoke. “Perhaps you forgot my story—the one I told Hannah last year when she was mad at you.”
“Remind me.”
“My mother was widowed at an early age with two small kids. She met a man who proposed, but on one condition: that she gave us away. And she did. Instead of tossing the bum out on his keister, she put my brother Billy and me up for adoption!”
“I think I remember, go on.”
“We went through the foster care system, sometimes together, sometimes torn apart, sleeping on cots or on the floor. We were the forgotten ones.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“But I survived. You did, too. Until a few minutes ago you were Alexa Boswell, a strong and fiercely independent woman. Nothing’s changed. Sari still loves you. Maybe she’s not your biological mother, but she gave up any chance of a career or college, just to raise you. I mean, how can you fault her with that?”
“Why didn’t she tell me sooner?”
“Who knows why anybody does anything?” Zelda took a sip. “I had no father. You have two: Joe adopted you and now Rob’s stepped up to the plate. It took guts for him to own up and admit his mistakes. Hannah has a new grandfather.”
“But they can’t just barge in here and lay claim to our lives.”
“Think about it. This trip must have cost plenty in terms of emotional turmoil. She could have written a letter or email. Now it turns out you have half-siblings. That makes you doubly lucky. Hannah will have cousins, aunts and uncles all over the country. So Rob was reckless in his youth, it’s a story as old as time. And your real mother was a frightened child. You might wish you’d never been told. But in the end, you’re still you.”
“I guess that’s why Sari was always so distant and why she never remembers my birthday while I remember every contraction on the day Hannah was born, the weather, the time she came out, and her first cry. But Sari didn’t have that experience. I could have been a duckling or a box of chocolates. She probably would have preferred either. At least it’s starting to make sense.”
“She had a ton of guilt and terrible secrets to keep.”
“I suppose.”
“Some moms put their babies in Dumpsters. Some do worse things. Don’t forget Sari tucked you in at night, kissed your scrapes and cuts, made sure you were clothed and fed. She kept you out of trouble.”
“She was tough.”
“Now you know why,” said Zelda. “She didn’t want you to become like your real mother, knocked up at sixteen.”
“Then why didn’t she tell me?”
“It’s not like saying your hair needs cutting or you have a curfew. Can you imagine your reaction in high school or leaving for college? She was right to wait. This is the perfect time, not only to tell you the truth, but to present you with a dad—whether you like him, accept him, or hate his guts. Hannah seems to be okay with it. She has a new grandpa. I don’t see that you have a choice.”
“So this is my new reality?”
“Your past has become your future. Everything has been twisted into a knot. Now you’ll unravel it.”
“Who made you so smart?”
“Nobody gives the old fogey generation any credit for being wise. But we are.” Zelda’s white overgrown hair bounced like surf over rolling waves as she nodded.
“I agree. But I don’t know what to do.”
“To lock them out would be cruel. Regaining trust is a long process. Rob’s worked hard to make amends. It must have been humbling, returning to Bellingham to atone for his past. On the upside, you have two moms.” Zelda paused and continued. “In fact, you should find out everything you can about her and about your half-siblings. It sounds like you finally have a good plot for your novel.”
“What?” Alexa stared wide-eyed. “You think I could write about this?”
“Is there a better story?”
“How could I?”
“You’ll figure it out. Good night dear and thanks for dinner.”
Alexa kissed her neighbor on the cheek, patted her shoulder. She walked into her apartment as Hannah was talking.
“Middle school is a pit of raging hormones and nonstop judgments,” she said, as Rob and Sari smiled. “It’s enough to erode anybody’s self-confidence, what little I have.”
“I was an arrogant little twerp,” said Rob, glancing at the door as it opened. “But never let the school bullies take away your dignity. You’re a terrific young woman.”
Alexa stood in the foyer watching them, wondering where she fit into the picture. She needed a new perspective.
“Take a load off,” said Hannah, holding the carved family on her lap. Alexa glanced at Rob. He was rough around the edges, but she also saw his demeanor as sympathetic and non-threatening.
Sari was a bundle of nerves, her hands fidgeting in her lap as she twisted a turquoise ring on her middle finger. She stood up abruptly. “It’s late, we should go.”
“What’s on tap for tomorrow?” asked Hannah.
“We’re going into the Everglades. I might wrassle an alligator to see how that feels.” Rob winked at her. “You’re invited if Mom says okay.”
“Can I? There’s no camp tomorrow.”
“Sure.”
Hannah grinned. “And can they stay for the fireworks?”
“Why not?”
“Thanks.”
“I’m cool. I’m hip,” said Alexa smiling. “I’ve got it going on.” As the words spilled from her mouth, she knew she was stinking drunk.
Hannah grinned. She knew it too. She was smart that way.
Later, when the company had left and the lights were out, Alexa crawled into bed and closed her eyes as images swirled crazily. She needed the blankness of dreamless sleep, but that wasn’t happening. Not tonight. Not for a long time.
CHAPTER 64
AS PREDICTED, July Fourth dawned hot and humid with no rain—a forecast perfect for celebrating not only the nation’s birthday, but the newly blended Porterfield-Conklin-Boswell clan.
Rob, Sari, and Hannah took an airboat through the Everglades and stopped to visit an alligator farm while Alexa used the quiet time to sort through her raw emotions. As she swam laps in the pool, she thought about her visit to Zelda.
Of course she was right. Any mother was better than no mother. But why had Sari agreed to the cockamamie arrangement? That was the part that didn’t compute. She hadn’t wanted a baby and had no boyfriend, yet she became an instant caregiver—and at such a tender young age. Most women have months to prepare. Sari had a day, or perhaps only an hour. Was it kindness on h
er part, a favor to her mother, or something more spiritual—a strange kind of karma or simply their shared destiny? No matter what, from the very beginning Sari had offered comfort and support. Alexa recalled how she read bedtime stories and kissed her boo-boos. Sari was a strict disciplinarian during her turbulent teenage years when girls get into trouble. Alexa was not one of them.
“What is a mother?” Zelda had asked. “Is it someone who gives you away like an unwanted piece of clothing or the stranger who takes you in and loves you unconditionally?”
“I get it,” Alexa said defensively. “I should be grateful I grew up with a roof over my head and not in a den with wolves.”
“If anybody’s at fault, it’s your grandma for placing such a burden on Sari. What if I handed a baby to Hannah and told her to raise it?”
Alexa’s nature was to judge first and reconsider the circumstances later. She also knew that part of being an adult was doing things you didn’t want to do. This was one of them. For Hannah’s sake she had to accept the situation whether she liked it or not.
Life moves along at its own pace, unfolding on its own terms. She couldn’t rush the future and had to relinquish the past. She felt intensely human. Nothing comes without a struggle, without frustration and tears —not raising a child or writing a book or doing the tango with romance. They’re all cauldrons of boiling emotions. Swimming was the only way she could deal with them at the moment.
Faulting Sari for the hand she’d been dealt as a teenager was like faulting a cat for throwing up a furball. She had no control over the past and the way things had unfolded. On a purely intellectual level, she’d need time to process and digest the situation. She had to let the information seep into every cell and nerve fiber. It was another bundle of emotions to stuff down. Her outburst at hearing the news was one of the rare times she lost control. Her nature was to hold it all in. That’s what she was good at. Biting her tongue and being Miss Goody-two-shoes. Yet for all the pain and upset this was causing, she had a new dad. Rob Porterfield said she could count on him anytime—for whatever that was worth.
She did the backstroke one way and the breast stroke the other. On her back she got lost in the white fluff balls against the impossibly blue sky, the same color as Sari’s eyes. They morphed into myriad shapes as silver jetliners flew north from Miami Airport and Fort Lauderdale headed toward exotic destinations. A flock of ibises with their black-tipped wings flew overhead and Alexa knew her life was okay. There was nothing horribly wrong. The DNA debacle had thrown her for a loop, but she was still alive, still breathing, still standing. Well, swimming. After everyone had said goodnight she had sat with Hannah for a while.
“I love the carving, don’t you?” Hannah had asked. “It’s so cool that he made it just for us!”
The buttery smooth wood statue sat on her bureau, surrounded by a shrine of things from Arizona: a geode, a small Kachina doll, a magnetic rock, and a quartz crystal sphere nestled on a metal stand in the shape of a turtle. “Isn’t it great? I’ve got a new grandpa and you’ve got a dad! OMG you’ve got a dad.”
“Sure honey, yeah it’s great.”
“You don’t sound very enthusiastic.”
“I’m still processing.”
“How did they put two and two together?”
Alexa had shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Did they do a DNA search?”
“No, they’d need my saliva. But we’re taking the test soon. That will prove things one way or another.”
“I’ll ask Grandma Sari for the details when I sleep over Saturday night at the hotel. Is that okay?”
Assuming this was a done deal and she’d be the bad guy to throw a monkey wrench in the works, she’d nodded and wondered if she should text Luke that she’d be alone. But if he left her hanging out to dry and didn’t respond, then what? It was ridiculous to think a passionate interlude or even down-and-dirty sex could glue their fractured romance together. She’d rather go to a bar for a drink. If only she had a girlfriend. But she only had Zelda and she probably had a hot date with Travis. Perhaps her young stud muffin had a friend.
She toweled off and walked upstairs thinking about Hannah and how she’d said Sari invited her to Sedona. Hannah had it all planned out. “Maybe we can both go over winter break,” she’d said. “Or they can come here for Thanksgiving and we can go there for Christmas. That’s what we tried to do last year when everything went haywire. But we got to meet Teena and you got to see Rick again. So it all worked out.”
“It’s not easy to get off work.”
“I’ll go by myself.”
“We’ll talk about it.” Alexa had caressed her daughter’s flushed cheek. “I can’t deal with this now.”
“Drama queen.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. Goodnight.”
“I love that Grandpa Rob calls me kiddo. Nobody ever called me that before.”
“I’m happy that you’re happy.”
“Sari said there was something out there called texes that give you all kinds of clarity. Is that true?”
“What?”
“She said Sedona is filled with texes.”
“Vortexes, she means vortexes. Look it up, I’m going to bed.”
CHAPTER 65
ON FRIDAY July Fourth, a series of texts and photos rolled in from Hannah documenting the trip to the Everglades with Grandma Sari and Grandpa Rob. Alexa worked on the novel while trying to process the information dumped on her in the past twenty-four hours. She didn’t make much headway on either project before they all arrived back at the apartment with pizza, garlic rolls, premade salads, and another box of cookies. If she wasn’t careful, her clothes would all shrink a size. Sari cornered Alexa in the kitchen, holding her arms wide open for a long overdue hug. Alexa couldn’t remember when she’d last been embraced by her mother. They both needed it.
Sari gazed into her gold-flecked hazel eyes. “It took enormous courage to pull the plug on your marriage and move here and start over. It was the impetus to start my own journey of self-discovery after so many years of drifting along with no purpose, barely able to function some days. And now look at us. I really like Luke, I hope that works out. He’s good for you, and for Hannah.”
Alexa dared not say she was being ghosted, yet again.
“Rob’s not so bad, I mean, after all, he’s my dad—I guess.”
After the food had been devoured, they sauntered outside, all of them immediately covered with a sheen of perspiration. Luke and Zelda emerged from her apartment as though nothing had happened the previous night when, in fact, everything had. Alexa assumed Luke had heard all the lurid details from Zelda. She was both relieved and disappointed that he hadn’t offered any support. This was something she had to work out on her own.
For all Luke’s good looks and charm, despite his beautiful love-making, he could be stiff and uninviting. He was sweet, compassionate, and caring, but only on his terms, when it suited him. Alexa felt as though she were balancing on a teeter-totter board with Luke. With Rick it was just the opposite. She was on solid ground. It was almost impossible to ignore the comparison. Whereas Rick was present and calm, Luke was stoic or annoyed. But it was all shades of human nature and she didn’t want to start nitpicking.
Not tonight anyway. Luke was here, Rick was not.
Everyone was ready for the fireworks as they placed the lawn chairs on the catwalk. As the sun set, the golden glow caught the highlights in Alexa’s hair making her look angelic, even with her brows furrowed in thought as she flashed back one year. On this night twelve months ago, just after moving into the apartment with Hannah, she’d met Luke Prescott for the first time and shared their first kiss. So much had happened it was impossible to remember it all. Strains of a patriotic medley wafted over from the beach where the Deerfield Beach High School marching band was playing. Alexa squeezed her mother’s hand. “Thanks for coming.”
“It’s like Christmas in July.”
“We’re goi
ng to the mall tomorrow,” said Hannah. “Right Grandpa Rob?”
“Right kiddo.” His voice was warm and rich, filled with affection for a teenager he’d just met. He seemed to enjoy his new role and Hannah needed him. He was her missing link. “We’ll paint the town red and green or pink and purple, whatever you want.”
Luke tucked an errant lock of hair behind Alexa’s ear. “Happy anniversary,” he said, putting his arm tenderly around her back and pulling her close. “Kiss me.” And like a good girl, she willingly complied.
“What time is it?” asked Zelda.
“Bedtime,” Luke joshed.
“Travis isn’t here yet.”
“Is he coming?” asked Alexa. “I’d like to meet him.”
As if in answer to her question, a loud roar erupted from the crowd gathered for the holiday spectacle and the indigo sky turned into a brilliant mass of blue, green, gold, crimson and white: glittery sparkles of light bursting open in patriotic glory.
CHAPTER 66
THE LONG weekend was over. Alexa sat at her desk on Monday morning more confused than ever. On Saturday night, while Hannah was at the hotel with her grandparents, Luke had made tender love to her, pleasuring her into multiple orgasms. Not only was her heart not into it, she kept picturing Rick. That kind of fantasy was wrong on so many levels.
As she tried to unravel the tangled threads of her consciousness, Lana appeared. “Book signings are scheduled.” A flyer fluttered to her desktop.
Alexa glanced at the list of dates and times for the events in Palm Beach, Broward, and Dade County for Cara Galloway, author of Love Times Three, and Lana Cox, author of The Cat’s Shadow. This was really happening. She felt a stab of envy.
“Staff is expected to attend at least two signings as a show of support. It’s not every day someone gets published.”
Alexa smiled politely. She’d read somewhere that every sixty seconds a new book was posted on Amazon. So Lana wasn’t being exactly truthful. Still it was an accomplishment not to be denied. As if to prove the point, Lana, who wore a red Rolling Stones T-shirt, puffed out her chest like some exotic bird. Then she abruptly turned away with her stack of flyers, sandals flapping. An email rolled in from Zev Humphries. How’s the book coming?
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