by L A Cotton
“Wait, are you sure—”
“Bye.” I hung up, quickly regretting the way I’d ended the call. Typing her a quick apology, I hit send and switched my phone off.
I couldn’t avoid everyone forever, but for now, I could try.
THE SECOND I ARRIVED home, I knew something was wrong.
“In here, sweetheart,” Mom’s voice called, her words strained.
Every step down the hall to the kitchen was heavy, like wading through quicksand.
“What is... Nick,” I breathed, narrowing my eyes at him. My heart soared and then sank at seeing him standing there, his dark clothing matching the circles under his eyes.
It was confusing.
“Sorry, Sum, but I had to see you.”
I glared at Mom and she mouthed, “I’m sorry,” before excusing herself, muttering something about meeting her friend for happy hour at The Coastal.
It was an ambush, and I was furious.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I clipped out, trying desperately to ignore how bad Nick looked. Every instinct in my body told me to go to him, to wrap my arms around his shoulders and comfort him the way I had so many times before, but he’d lost that privilege when he fucked her.
I internally flinched but there was something cathartic about silently admitting what had happened. He hadn’t made love to her; he’d fucked her. Plain and simple.
“Why are you smiling?” He asked and I frowned.
“I didn’t realize I was.”
He nodded. “Just then, the corner of your mouth lifted.”
“It was nothing.”
“Oh.” Disappointment radiated from him. But I was tired and angry and quite frankly, I still wasn’t ready to do this.
“Summer, come on, you can’t ignore me forever. We leave in—”
“I’m not going.”
The blood drained from his face as he stumbled back as if I’d slapped him. “Y- you’re not?”
“No, Nick. Whatever we had was ruined when you decided to fuck her. Another girl. Someone who wasn’t me. I can’t just switch that off because we’re supposed to move to college next week.”
“But it’s college, our...” he choked over the words. “Your future. You have to come.”
“Actually, I don’t.”
Guilt hit me dead in the chest. He deserved to know the truth, deserved to know his baby was growing inside me. But I knew if I told him, he’d use it as ammunition. As a reason for why we had to make this work. And I knew I might not be strong enough yet to resist.
So maybe it was wrong and maybe one day I’d live to regret not being honest, but right here, in this moment, I let my anger and betrayal win out. I swallowed the words, locking them away tight.
He took a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how many more times I can say it.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I replied, my voice flat. “This isn’t something you can talk your way out of. You destroyed what we had when you chose Deanna.”
“Fuck, Summer, I didn’t choose Deanna. It wasn’t like—”
“You kissed her, Nick. You touched her. You had sex with her. And then you did the same with me. Do you know how that makes me feel? How cheap and violated I—”
“Don’t okay, just don’t.” His voice cracked, tears streaming down his face and it felt wrong that I was the one standing here strong and he was falling apart at the seams. “I know I screwed up, okay? And I know nothing I say will ever undo it, but it can’t be over because I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and I can’t lose you, Summer May Stone-Prince, I just can’t.”
He reached for me, pulling me into his arms, and this time, I didn’t resist. I went willingly, falling into Nick’s embrace one last time. Because I knew it was over. I didn’t need to think it through. Time and space were going to do nothing but confirm what I already, in my heart of hearts, knew.
Nick buried his face into my shoulder, whispered apologies and pleas for forgiveness dancing across my skin. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. We were bound now, I knew that. Tied together by the little bean growing inside me. But that’s all we would ever be. Relationships were built on trust and Nick had destroyed that the day he’d decided I wasn’t enough. That another girl could give him something I couldn’t. My family might have been overbearing, but if they had taught me anything it was to know your own self-worth. And I deserved more.
Especially from the guy I’d given my heart to.
Pain tore through me as I gripped onto Nick, the weight of what was happening crushing down on me.
“Forgive me,” he cried. “You have to forgive me.”
Steeling myself, I pulled back to meet his red, swollen eyes. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”
“Summer, no—” I pressed my finger to his lips.
“I love you, Nick. Part of me will always love you, but I’ll never be able to trust you again. I’m sorry.”
His broken expression almost made me take it back, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be the girl who forgave her boyfriend for cheating.
“I... I don’t know what to say.” He ran his hand down his face, sucking in a shaky breath.
“You should probably go.” I stepped back giving him some space, aware that it already felt like an ocean was between us.
“Don’t do this... you can’t—”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I inhaled a calming breath. “I didn’t do this, Nick,” I said sadly, looking him right in the eye as my heart splintered into tiny shards. “You did.”
I WAS GOING THROUGH the motions.
Two days passed after dismissing Nick from my kitchen and I felt like I was living in a dream. But not the good kind, the surreal kind where reality and fantasy swirled together leaving me more wrecked than ever. I was pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s baby and I’d withdrawn from college.
This wasn’t my life, it couldn’t be.
And yet, I remembered the conversation ending our relationship as clear as day. I could perfectly recount the email I’d sent to USC’s admissions department, explaining I would not be joining their freshman intake. And I couldn’t forget the expressions painted on Mom and Dad’s face as I broke the news to them.
Mom had tried to understand, tried to see things from my perspective, but Dad... he was pissed. He liked Nick, he was sorry things had ended, but he couldn’t believe I was throwing away my future all because of a boy.
Of course, he didn’t know the truth. Neither of them did. That was my secret and mine alone.
For now.
“Baby, are you up?” Mom’s voice filtered down the hall.
“Yeah, I’m awake.”
The door swung open and she breezed into my room looking like perfection. Her dark hair was slicked back into a glossy chignon, her makeup subtle but on point. The pant suit she wore highlighted her slim figure and screamed, ‘I am the boss, you will listen’. I smiled. We were so different, yet a part of me had always envied her. Her strong mind. Her ability to get exactly what she wanted from whoever had the power to give it to her.
“How are you feeling?” She sat on the end of the bed.
“I slept some, but when I wake up it’s like for a moment I forget and then it all comes rushing back,” my voice cracked, but I bit back the tears.
“It’ll take time. Your father and I were hoping you might—”
“I already sent the email,” I said, pre-empting Mom’s words.
“You did?” Disappointment flashed in her eyes.
Nodding, I fisted my sheet, hating the look of disappointment in her eyes. It isn’t the only thing you’ll be disappointed about.
“You don’t think you’re being a little hasty?”
“There’s no rule that says I have to start college right now. I can take a year out, maybe enroll in a few classes at community college. There are other options.”
“Summer, I love you, and I know you’re hurting, but this is your future, baby. And Nick is just—”
“Nick
was the love of my life, Mom. We had plans. A future all planned out.”
I was like my brother Maverick and sister Macey, who, until meeting their partners, had struggled to let people in. But I’d fallen hard for Nick. Opened my heart to him. And although we were young, and had been each other’s firsts, he was everything I wanted.
Everything I needed.
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” She shuffled toward me, taking my hand in hers. “I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“Mom, I have—”
“Mrs. Stone-Prince,” Loretta, our housekeeper’s voice boomed through the house and Mom groaned.
“I should probably go and see what she wants. I swear, she’s losing her marbles.” She gave me a warm smile before leaning over to kiss my head. “What are your plans for today? I can call Jenny and see if she can handle the schedule.”
“No, Mom. You should go to work. I’ll be fine. I think I might go for a walk and clear my head.”
“Mrs. Stone—”
“For the love of...” Mom took a deep breath and stood, smoothing her pants down. “I have my cell if you need me.” She moved to the door. “And, baby?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“I love you. And you will get through this. Because we’re Stone-Princes, and that’s what we do.”
Chapter 6
JB
“Motherfucker,” I hissed through the pain, watching as the ball sailed toward the tire and hit the outer edge.
“Three out of five isn’t bad.” The sound of my dad’s voice made my spine stiffen, which in turn made bolts of pain shoot across my shoulder.
“It isn’t good enough though,” I grumbled, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a long pull before pouring the rest over my head. It was hot out, only made ten times worse by the exertion I was putting my body under.
“You have time.”
Four weeks was hardly time. It was an egg timer, ticking by too fucking quickly.
“And then what? I return to practice, Coach sees I’m not ready, I get benched, and the dream goes up in flames?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Son. You’ve got this. The surgery was a success. Belinda is the best in her field. And Coach Salamander understands what’s at stake.”
Yeah, only my entire football career.
If I stood any chance of making the NFL draft, I needed to be on that field, in front of scouts this season. I needed to be building on the name I’d already made for myself. Not sitting on the sidelines watching DeLuca, our second string QB, steal everything I’d worked so hard for right out from under my nose.
“JB, look at me.” Dad moved around me until he was right in the path of the tire swing. “You are a Holloway, and Holloways never quit. Do you hear me?”
My eyes narrowed, my jaw set, as I let his words wash over me. It was nothing I hadn’t heard a hundred times before, but my entire future hadn’t been on the line then.
“Let me hear you say it, Son.” His eyes were hard on my face as he waited.
“Come on, Dad, I don’t need—”
“Say it.” His brow rose with expectation.
“Holloways never quit,” I grumbled, feeling like a kid who just got schooled in life by their father—and maybe I had. I was twenty years old, but I still felt like that eight-year-old desperate for his father’s approval.
And I fucking hated it.
“Damn right they don’t. I believe in you, Son. We all believe in you. And you’re going to be the first Holloway to get drafted into the NFL.”
My teeth ground together as I swallowed any reply. There had been a time when I’d truly believed Sheridan Holloway wasn’t a bad guy, that he was just misguided. Seduced by power and money and status. When I was younger, I’d gotten swept up in it all. But that was before I learned the truth of the lengths people like my father and Maverick’s father, Alec Prince, would go to, to get what they wanted.
I wanted to earn my future. To know I got it through hard work, and blood, sweat, and tears. But breaking the chains of my family name was no easy task. Entering the draft though, that was one thing no amount of money could buy. You had to be the best. To push your limits and play hard and prove to the scouts you had the skill and grit and determination to go pro.
And I had.
Until a line backer from Fresno State took my legs out from under me in a scrimmage and I landed on my throwing arm wrong. And suddenly I realized, despite my father’s insistence Holloways were infallible, we could break just like everyone else.
I’D HAVE BEEN LYING if I said I wasn’t looking for Summer when I went down the Bay to do my daily jog. So when I found her, sitting there, staring out at the ocean again, the way she had been last time, I couldn’t hide the smile splitting my face.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I said as I jogged up to her.
“Hey, JB,” she said quietly, covering her eyes with her arm to look up at me. “How’s the shoulder?”
“I’d like to say that every day it feels a little stronger, but I’d be lying.”
She grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. There’s still time,” I said. “I need to do a few laps,” I flicked my head over to the shoreline. “But if you’re still around after, we could—”
“JB,” she let out a heavy sigh, glancing down at her bare legs which were folded in front of her. “I’m not sure—”
“Look, I just figured you’re here, I’m here... and it’s a damn shame to be sitting here all alone, wallowing on things you can’t change, when you could be enjoying my company.” It was a risk, playing with her like this, but when the corner of her mouth tipped, I knew I’d played it right.
“I could use a friend right now.”
I didn’t miss the way she emphasized the word friend, but I chose to ignore it. I wasn’t hitting on her, that wasn’t what this was. I just enjoyed her company. The comfortable silence. I liked looking into her eyes and finding no judgment. No sparkle of interest because she knew who I was, who my family was. Although it was a small miracle, she was happy to talk to me at all, because of who my family were.
“Friends. I can live with that,” I said. “Give me twenty and then I’ll be back.”
“Okay.” She nodded, and I started jogging backward, slowly so as not to trip and fall on my ass or injure myself further.
“Be warned though,” I called. “I’ll be a sweaty mess.”
Even from the growing distance between us I could see the way her breath hitched, and I smirked. I had no intentions of hitting on her. One: she was Maverick’s little sister, and two: she was still in the fallout of a bad breakup. But something about Summer called to me. And I found myself wanting to see her smile.
Wanting to make her smile.
Shit.
I needed to get a grip. She was Summer Stone-Prince. And I was JB Holloway. Our families had a messy past. Maverick would have plenty to say about me keeping his youngest sister company. But he wasn’t here, and I couldn’t stop the nagging voice in my head whispering that she deserved more than being here day after day all alone. I knew Maverick, Kyle, and Macey were all off doing their own thing—college, football, basketball, all loved up and shit—but it still made no sense none of them had shown up to check on her.
Fighting the urge to double back around, blow off my training, and go sit with her, I set a slow, steady pace. The balmy air whipped around me as I built my pace, pushing my legs harder, faster, until my muscles began to burn and my shoulder began to ache, reminding me that I still had a way to go.
By the time my smart watch alerted me I was done, my tank was soaked, and my skin coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Not exactly the epitome of hot. Good job you’re not hoping to seduce her then, fuckwit. I jogged back toward Summer, pleased to find her still sitting there.
“You stayed.”
“Well, yeah, the view is pretty incredible.” Her cheeks flamed. “I didn’t mean... I meant the view. The view is beautiful.”<
br />
Part of me hoped she was flirting with me, but from the embarrassment staining her face, I figured it was a genuine slip of the tongue.
“Yeah, it’s something.” My eyes had a mind of their own, sweeping over her. Fuck. It was real damn hard keeping myself in check around her. I was sex-starved though, and she was beautiful. Smooth tan skin, slender curves, and that long, wavy blonde hair I wanted to run my fingers through.
“JB?” The softness in her voice made me jerk.
“Yeah?”
“Is everything okay?”
“I, uh, yeah. I think I need some liquid refreshment. Can I persuade you to come to The Shack with me? Drinks on me?”
“I...” Her eyes flicked over to the diner. “Actually, yeah, that sounds pretty good.” She got up, brushing the sand off her hands, and started toward the diner.
Like she hadn’t just surprised the crap out of me.
“SOMETHING WRONG WITH your food?” I motioned to her plate, before taking another big bite of my burger. Turned out Summer was full of surprises. When the server had taken our order, I’d asked for the biggest meanest burger they had, and she’d asked for the same. But she had barely taken two mouthfuls before pushing her plate away and focusing on me, instead of the food in front of her.
“Sorry.” She ducked her head. “I thought I was hungry...”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll eat this and then make a start on yours.” I grinned, but it slipped when she frowned. “Joke, Summer. I’m joking.”
“Oh, okay.” Gone was the girl I’d met at the beach. She looked so fucking uncomfortable, I felt like a complete dick pushing her to come with me.
“Listen, sorry if this is too much, too soon. I just thought—”
“No, it’s not you. This is nice. I just... damn, it’s so hard pretending everything’s okay.”
“You don’t have to pretend, Summer, not with me.” My eyes locked on hers, my heart hammering in my chest. I swallowed hard, chugging my soda. “Tell you what. Why don’t I get the check and give you a ride home, and if you want, we can try this another time when you feel more up to it.”