Sean: Um. Probably should warn you that I can almost guarantee my friends will all be there. If not right away, as soon as Max texts them.
Jess: As long as we’re not taking them all back to my place with us, I think I can handle it.
She ended with a smiling emoji, and he sent one back and put his phone away, feeling the heat of anticipation wash over him again, tempered by an unexpected sense of ease. He was starting to call that soothing feeling the Jess Effect.
Dinner went exactly as he expected it to, which was why he’d pre-apologized to Jess before they even left the car. When he ushered her in through the door, Max dropped a dish towel on the bar and dove for his phone. They’d been seated for all of five minutes when Noah and Angelica strolled through the door, looking effortlessly casual as though they’d meant to dine at Frankie’s all along—even though his hair was still wet, and her socks didn’t quite match.
Iain and Naomi didn’t make it look nearly as good when they showed up two minutes later. The Irishman was breathing hard as though he’d been running, and the artist looked wildly around the room until she spotted Sean and Jess in the booth against the far wall. Sean rolled his eyes as the couple joined Noah and Angelica at the booth directly behind them. He leaned over the table toward Jess, who was still studying the menu.
“They’re heeeeere,” he sing-songed in a whisper.
He saw her lips quirk. “I know,” she said quietly. “I saw them all come in. It wasn’t subtle.”
He chuckled. “Brace yourself.”
When it came, the inquisition was quick. Noah leaned over the booth divider and pretended to be surprised to see them. “Sean, won’t you introduce us to your friend?”
He sighed. “Noah Bradstone, meet Jessica Casillas-Moore.”
“Bradstone?”
“Casillas?”
Noah and Jess spoke at the same time, both sounding surprised.
“Wait, are you one of Vincent’s grandkids?” Noah asked. He glanced at Sean, a frown starting to gather on his face, like his opinion of Sean had somehow sunk further suddenly.
Jess nodded. “Are you Carter’s son?”
“You know each other?” Sean asked.
Noah shook his head. “Not exactly. Her grandfather works with my dad. Knows more about grapes than anyone in the industry.” He paused. “Although… you’re the youngest?” Jess nodded, and he laughed. “I think I went to your eighth birthday party.”
She smiled, but Sean could tell it was awkward. Not exactly the sort of thing you wanted to think about when you were on a date. He hadn’t thought much about their age gap, but apparently Noah had been doing some mental math.
Angelica didn’t bother to lean over the booth. She just came over and slid in next to Jess. “Hi. I’m Angelica.”
Jess blinked. “Angelica Travis?” She turned her surprised gaze back to Sean, and he winced. Sometimes he forgot Noah’s fiancée was famous.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Angelica was enthusing. “What do you do?”
“Um, I write a lifestyle and beauty blog, and I do some lifestyle segments on local TV.”
Angelica’s eyes lit up. “Lifestyle! My agent is always looking for new clients there! You should let me set you up!”
Before Jess could respond, Naomi leaned over. “I did your new logo last year, actually,” she said mildly.
Jess blinked. “You’re NK Designs?”
Naomi nodded. “I do most of my design work digitally. I didn’t know it was you that Max—” she broke off and glanced over at the bar guiltily.
“Well, I love the logo,” Jess said.
Iain pressed a kiss to Naomi’s hair. “She does good work.”
It all went downhill from there.
Max showed up, did some interrogating of his own, and then murmured something in Spanish to Jess.
Sean lost his patience.
“I lived in L.A. for ten years, you know. I might not be able to speak Spanish that well, but I can get the gist,” he snapped at his friend. “And it’s none of your business.” He’d been able to translate enough to know that Max had asked Jess if she knew what she was getting into.
“Sorry,” Max said, raising his hands in apology. “I forgot you were multilingual.” He smirked, not looking particularly sorry.
Jess rolled her eyes at him. “I see why you’re the single one,” she said.
Sean beamed at her, while Max pretended to take an arrow to the heart. “Ouch,” the chef said. “Maybe I should have asked you if you knew what you were doing, Sean.”
“We’re both adults,” Jess said.
“Adults who would like to eat their tacos in peace,” Sean added pointedly.
After that, they were mostly left alone, and Sean could only hope that his friends hadn’t managed to kill any chance he had of naked time later.
When they left Frankie’s less than an hour later, Jess’s hand crept into his. And then on the drive back to her place, her fingers were busy on his thigh.
Apparently, his chances were still good.
They stumbled into Jess’s bedroom attached at the lips, her fingers already working at his waist, slipping the button of his jeans open.
He set his hands at her hips, fingertips just under the edge of her shirt. “You sure about this?” he asked. “We can wait.”
She took her hands off of him, and he felt the icy chill of disappointment until she shoved his hands aside and took off her shirt herself. “No waiting,” she said, returning her lips to his.
He barely registered when his shirt came off, and his pants made it to the doorway when she threw them away. He was too occupied with her body, warm and smooth and the sexiest thing he’d ever touched. His hands shaped her breasts, still in their lacy confines, and he lowered his mouth to her nipple, relishing the soft gasp she made.
She pulled him backward until her thighs hit the bed, and then he took over, pushing her back with nothing but the pressure of his lips and tongue until she was lying full length on the bed, writhing and moaning his name.
“We’ve barely even started yet,” he murmured against her velvet skin.
He slid her jeans down her legs and tossed them in the general direction of his own, then hooked a finger in her underwear. “I like these,” he said. “They match.” Her bra and underwear were confections worthy of something he’d put on a cake, all delicate strands of white curling around her sweet skin in complicated patterns he wanted to lick until they disappeared.
She started to say something, then let it trail off into a moan as he dragged her underwear gently down, taking extra time to let his fingers slide along the sensitive skin of her inner thighs.
His lips traced the same path back up, and when his tongue slipped against her center, she nearly came off the bed. He paused. “Is this okay?”
“God, yes.”
He grinned and went back to work. Jess was just as vocal now as she’d been in the truck, and he loved it. She wasn’t shy about directing him to move to the left, or stay where he was, or go faster. He didn’t always oblige—especially when she begged him to go faster. “Slower is better,” he said.
“Says you,” she gasped. “Oh!”
Then it was mostly vowels.
She came twice on his fingers and his tongue before he moved up her body. She twined her fingers bonelessly in his hair as he slid the condom out of its packet and rolled it on. His lips retraced her neck as he rocked gently against her entrance. He kissed her before opening his mouth to ask.
She beat him to it. “Yes, yes.” She tilted her hips, and he slid forward. They both gasped and froze for a moment. He felt the blood drain from his head as her sweet heat enveloped him, inch by inch.
“Oh, god, Jess,” he whispered.
She hummed with pleasure as he slid home, and he grunted as he fell deep into her. They rocked together slowly, then faster as she slid her foot up his leg. The change in angle flipped a switch inside of him, and he growled, grabbing her hips and complet
ing the tilt of her body so that he was thrusting into her, against her. Her fingers closed around his arms convulsively, and she screamed his name as she tightened around him. The pressure pushed him over the edge he’d been teetering on, trying to extend the pleasure. He came hard, his body shaking against hers as he saw stars.
The buzz of his phone woke him hours later. They’d been up together more than half the night, and he hoped the taste of her would never leave him. After the third time, they’d finally fallen asleep tangled together, and Jess was still sleeping, those dark lashes lying thick against her cheekbones. He raised a hand to trace her face, then thought better of it. She needed to sleep. She’d said she had another early call time this morning. He turned his head and used his free hand to pick up his phone. It was a text from Max.
Max: You ready for what you’re doing?
Sean: You’re at least three hours too late to be asking that.
Max: I don’t need sordid details, bro. You know what I mean.
Sean: You sound like Noah. When did you get so worried about my life?
There was a pause, and then a different buzz indicated that Max had added Noah to the text, turning it into a group chat. Both of them kept the same odd hours Sean did for their respective jobs, so neither one thought anything of texting at four o’clock in the morning. Sean rolled his eyes.
Sean: Seriously? Is this another intervention? Come on, guys.
Noah: Dude, we’re proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished with your sobriety. We’re just a little worried that it seems early to be bringing somebody else into all of this with you.
Sean: All of this?
Max: She seems really into you. Did you tell her?
Sean: Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I did.
Noah: I know her grandfather, man. She’s local. You can’t just walk away if something goes wrong.
Sean stared at his phone for a long time before he answered.
Sean: You think I’m going to screw this up, don’t you? Am I that bad of a guy?
Max: When you were drinking you were. We don’t know if you’ve really changed.
Trust Max not to pull any punches. Sean let out a breath and closed his eyes, then breathed in slowly, trying to let the scent of Jess’s hair soothe his frazzled nerves. Somehow the Jess Effect was struggling to overcome his friends’ opinion of him. Hell, his own opinion, if he was honest. What the hell kind of dirtbag was he, anyway? He’d let his protégé die, he’d pickled himself in alcohol instead of trying to help in the aftermath, and now he was dragging Jess into the mess that was his life. His friends were right to be concerned.
He put the phone down without responding to the last text and started to ease his other arm out from under Jess and the pillow. It was time to go to work.
Chapter 14
After the fantastic, toe-curling night they’d just shared, the last thing Jess expected was the sound of her bedsprings startling her awake as Sean attempted to sneak out without so much as a goodbye. But that was precisely what was happening. She blinked her eyes all the way open as he shoved his legs into his jeans, cursing under his breath when his toe connected with the leg of her bedside table.
Jess pushed herself up into a sitting position and reached over to flick on the lamp at her side.
Sean’s head quickly darted back around. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I kind of gathered that.” She had about a million and one other things she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to be that girl—the girl who cried at the first sight of rejection, the one who begged for an explanation, or the one who blamed herself for a man’s bad behavior. Still, she had to know one thing. “Were you planning on saying goodbye?”
“I—” He huffed and blew out a long, slow breath, rubbing the heel of his palms against his eye sockets. When he pulled his hands away, his gaze connected with hers, and she saw the truth before he spoke the words. “I was going to let you sleep in.”
Lie.
She pulled her feet up and crossed her legs, turning to face him. “I have to be up in an hour anyway, which you know.”
He nodded once, and pulled his gaze away, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around the room—anywhere but at her.
Jess might not want to be that girl, but she was coming dangerously close to it. As it was, it took everything she had not to begin crying. His dismissal and apparent regret over their shared night together sliced like a hot knife through butter.
“Look, Sean. It’s obvious you were going to sneak out, so go on ahead. I’m not going to stop you.” She tossed the covers aside and stood up. Pulling a thin cotton robe off its hook, she wrapped it around herself, giving the bow an extra hard tug when she finished tying the knot. “You know where the front door is.”
“I’m sorry, Jess. I really didn’t mean for it to be like this.” He pushed to his feet, his gaze averted.
“Yes, well. Be that as it may …” She pulled a deep breath into her lungs and swiped away tears that had begun pooling in her eyes.
Sean raised his head, his face a mask of regret. “I’m in a really weird place right now. I should have thought of that before … well, before all this—” he gestured between them “—but you were the first good thing that’s happened to me in a while, and it was too hard to resist.”
Jess rolled her lips between her teeth, biting down on them in the hope that the sting would override the one lancing her heart. She’d known deep down there was a chance rushing headlong into something with him when they hadn’t hashed out his past could come back to bite her in the ass. She just hadn’t thought it would happen so soon. In the end, their relationship—if that’s what you could even call it—had amounted to three measly dates.
And now she had to say goodbye.
But first, “Just tell me one thing. Did this mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”
Sean’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he clasped the back of his neck in his palm. The same one, she couldn’t help but remember, that had gently cradled her face as he’d entered her, their gazes locked on one another the entire time. Eventually, he raised his eyes back up and answered. “It did. More than you’ll ever know.”
“Then why? Was it something I said?” So much for not sounding needy, Jess’s subconscious scolded, even as she continued. “Was it something I did—or didn’t do?” She tried not to wince at that last question.
For having only slept with a couple of men in her life, and none of those past experiences what one could call ‘out of this world,’ Jess thought she’d held her own the night before. She’d also been pleasantly shocked to find that he seemed to bring out a wild, almost feral side of her that she hadn’t known existed. Still, she wondered, had it been enough? Was he used to sleeping with women whose tastes ran more toward the type of kinks Jess had only ever read about in romance novels? Had she left him unsatisfied?
Sean took a few quick steps around the bed toward her, his hand outstretched. At the last moment, he halted and dropped his hand down to his thigh where his fingers beat a pulse against his jeans. He stared at her for a few long moments, his gaze assessing.
Jess could practically see the wheels turning in his head, presumably to come up with an answer that would let her down gently. Sean Amory might be a coward, but she didn’t think he was needlessly cruel.
“Listen, Jess,” he sighed, running his hand through his sleep-mussed hair. “I—”
She held up a hand to stop him. “It’s okay; you don’t need to explain. I get it. We had our fun, but now it’s time to move on.” Her voice trembled when she added, “I’m sorry I assumed this was something more. That’s on me, not you.”
He did step to her then, and when he pulled her into his arms and flush against his chest, she went willingly, all the fight gone out of her. She didn’t know what it was about this man, but she was pretty sure there was nowhere else she’d rather be than in his arms. It didn’t make any sense, but when he t
ouched her, all felt right with the world—even as he seemed to make her world seem to fall apart around her.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, petting her hair with gentle sweeps of his palm before he dropped a kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering. “You are amazing. Sweet, kind, and funny. Any guy would be lucky to have you. But at the risk of sounding like a tired cliché, it’s not you—it’s me. I’m all fucked up in the head right now, and I don’t want to bring you down with me.”
Ah, so that was it. Sean thought he was doing her a favor by walking away, never once stopping to consider that together they were stronger than the sum of their parts. Anger flickered in her chest, rising quickly past the sadness.
Jess pushed against his chest, and he loosened his hold on her. “Did it ever occur to you that I might want you to bring me down? Or better yet, I might be able to raise you up?” Her eyes flicked between his as she watched her words land and settle.
She knew she’d given him something to think about. She thought she’d gotten through to him until he took a step back, and then another, until more than a foot separated them. She wrapped her arms around herself, chilled by the sudden loss of contact, but also by the blank look that had come over his face. She knew she’d lost him.
“I know I have no right to ask, but can you give me some time?” It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. She’d expected a blanket no, a swift rejection.
Jess’s heart thumped heavy in her chest. She wanted to say no, that if she weren’t enough for him now, she wouldn’t be enough for him later on either. And yet, deep down, she wanted him. More than she’d ever wanted any other man before in her life. She’d never felt like this about anyone, and she knew the likelihood of feeling it again for someone else anytime soon was slim to none. She didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who didn’t appreciate her, but she also didn’t want to give up on him either. Because, she thought, if she did give him time, he might come to realize that he felt the same way about her, too. He just had to do it on his own. And that might be worth waiting for.
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