Eve took a step back. “What's simple? Just leave him alone! He's had enough, can't you see that?”
Rhonda straightened up and said with a voice like pure ice, “Being on the top means reminding those on the bottom exactly why they're on the bottom.”
“You've been reminding him of that for three freaking years! He knows he's on the bottom! How much more reminding do you think he needs?”
Rhonda shook her head. “Wow, you're even more clueless than I thought. The reminder isn't for him,” she said, pointing at me, “it's for them.”
She gestured at the twenty-strong crowd that had gathered to watch me get the crap kicked out of me for the umpteenth time. Of course, no one was going to interrupt. And, of course, there were no teachers around to tell them to stop. There never were. The bully squad picked their spots with surgical precision.
Rhonda nodded one more time to Brent, who delivered a sharp kick to my groin. I grabbed my crotch, and my lunch was suddenly all over the sidewalk. The pain was overwhelming. All I could do was try not to cry like a baby.
“That one was for lying to me,” Rhonda said coldly.
Still in shock, Eve could only whisper, “Please … stop.”
Rhonda leaned in close to her. “I'm getting sick of your crap, Eve. You wanted to be popular. I made you popular. You wanted to be on top. I put you there. Four months I spent on you, and you're just going to throw it all away? I thought you had what it took. Guess I was wrong.”
She paused, regarding Eve with a frown. “But I'll give you one last chance. I shouldn't, but I will.” She lowered her voice. “You go home today, and you decide whether you'd rather be on my side,” she gestured at me, “or his side.” She grabbed Eve's arm and shoved her hard. “Now get the hell away from me!”
I looked at Eve, even though I could barely make out her face without my glasses. She was still standing there, immobile, looking at me, not knowing what to do next. I mouthed the word “go,” and she nodded. She grabbed her backpack and ran away in the opposite direction, disappearing around a corner.
Rhonda knelt down next to me. I was still holding my aching nuts, puke dribbling from my chin. She picked up my fallen glasses, wiped them off, and handed them back to me. “This was fun. Same time next week?”
Before I could come up with a response, she stood up and announced to the crowd, “Nobody helps him up!” She gave me one more sneer. “Let the little worm crawl to his next class.” She and the bully squad then turned their backs and walked away.
A teacher whose name I couldn't remember came along a few minutes later, long after the crowd had dispersed. He helped me to my feet, but I couldn't stick around to answer any questions, there simply wasn't time.
I limped as fast as I could up the steps and into the Science room, where Eve was already waiting. Just like in the first week of school, she wouldn't even look at me, though I knew it was for a much different reason this time. She looked broken.
We took our tests and finished the school day without any more incidents. Another Friday had come and gone, and once again, my body was a collection of aches and pains. But I took heart in knowing that, if nothing else, Eve had finally seen the proverbial light.
* * *
The bus ride home was one I'd never forget. I took my usual seat, and Eve sat down next to me as the bus juddered into motion. I looked at her, and when she caught a full view of my reddened, swollen jaw, she drew a sharp breath. Trying to keep her voice as low as she could, she leaned in. “Are you okay?”
Thankfully, I wasn't as emotionally worked up as I had been the week before, despite the pain. I closed my eyes and nodded slowly. “I'll live.”
She leaned back, and I saw a look of utter finality on her face. She finally understood. All of the school's dirty secrets had been exposed to her, in all their grimy horror. I suddenly felt worse for her than I did for me … and I felt really bad for me.
She looked blankly at the back of the seat in front of us. “How do you do it, Joshua?”
“Do what?” I asked.
She turned back to me, clasping my hand in hers again. “How do you stand it? How do you keep coming to school, day after day, knowing what's waiting for you?”
I made a grim face. “What else can I do? Hide under my blanket until high school?”
“You could transfer to another school…”
“Yeah, right,” I replied. “And there, not only would I still be the smallest guy in class, but I'd also be the 'new kid.' I wouldn't have any more friends there than I do here. There are bullies everywhere, Eve.”
“But at least that school might have a more sympathetic principal …”
“No, Eve. I'm not starting over somewhere else.” I sighed heavily. “I'm not a quitter. I may be a coward, but I'm not a quitter.”
She straightened up. “You're no coward, Joshua. You're the bravest person I've ever met.”
Wow. This was possibly the biggest compliment I'd ever received. Had I heard her correctly? “What?”
“You didn't have to help me study. You knew it was a big risk, but you did it anyway. A coward wouldn't have done that.”
I could feel my face getting redder. “Well … maybe I was just trying to impress you. Guys do stupid things to impress girls sometimes. Did it work?” I gave her a mischievous smile.
She smiled back. “You're making a joke? You got your butt kicked, and you're making jokes?”
I smiled more broadly, despite the pain. “That's something else guys do to impress girls.”
I thought that might get a chuckle out of her, but almost immediately her face became serious again. “I'm so sorry, Joshua.”
“Why? You didn't do this.”
“I was so awful to you when the school year started. I humiliated you in front of the whole Science class.”
I could see her trembling with guilt, so I put my hand on her arm. “It's okay. I've already forgotten about it. We're friends now, Eve. That's all that matters to me.”
Unexpectedly, she leaned forward and put her arms around me. Not knowing what to do in these situations, I placed my hands on her back and returned the hug, making sure not to squeeze too hard. Immediately, my brain went into overdrive.
Oh my God, she's hugging me. Not like the kind of hug you give your little brother, but a real one. With feeling. She must really like me! You don't hug people like this if you don't like them, right? Oh, her hair smells so good … like flowers …
With her chin on my shoulder, I could tell she was crying again, so I held her even tighter. Wow. This is unbelievable. I hope no one's watching, that would totally kill the moment. Holy crap, I'm actually hugging a girl. A beautiful girl. If only my jaw didn't hurt so damn much.
And dammit, that moment just had to be the moment when the bus pulled up to my stop. Finally, Eve released her grip.
I started to collect my things, and saw that she was still staring at me. “I was so wrong about you,” she said. “I've been wrong about everything.” I saw more pain in her eyes than I'd ever seen before. It was in her voice too. “Oh my God … what have I done?”
I only had seconds left, so I grasped her hand and moved my face only inches away from hers. “Everything's going to be okay, Eve. I promise.” It was, literally, all I could think of to say at that moment. I considered kissing her on the cheek, but then decided against it.
I sidled past her into the aisle, and then turned back to her. “I was right about you. You're not one of them. You're … not.” It pained me to see that look in her eyes, so I hurriedly left.
I caught a glimpse of her face in the back window as the bus pulled away. I gave her a slight wave, and she was gone.
I walked home with mixed emotions. She'd hugged me, which was something no girl had ever done before. It felt so good to hold her close to me, and even better to be a source of comfort to her. I was going to spend the whole weekend reliving that moment.
I rushed into my room as soon as I got home, hoping Alyson wouldn't
see me, but she was in her room chatting with her boyfriend, Max. I used to tease her about her relationships when I was younger, but since she was eight inches taller than me, it didn't take me long to realize how stupid that was.
I studied the bruise on my cheek in the bathroom mirror. In the past, most of the injuries the bully squad had given me either faded within hours or were in places I could cover up. I was thankful for that. The few I couldn't cover up I had explained away as accidents or as the result of boyish clumsiness. Looks like I'd have to do that again.
* * *
I sat down to dinner, lowering my head, hoping my dad wouldn't notice the bruise. No such luck. He put his fork down. “What happened to your face, Joshua?”
Thankfully, I'd come up with a believable lie in the last few hours. “P.E. accident. My face got in the way of a basketball.”
“A basketball,” Dad replied. I wasn't sure whether he'd bought it or not.
“Yup,” I said, trying not to make eye contact. “Should've paid more attention.”
He stared at me for a few seconds, then took a sip of water. “Try to be more careful next time.”
I noticed Alyson was looking at me. Dad may have believed me, but she looked more skeptical. It looked like she was going to say something to expose my lie, but instead she said, “How's it going with that girl in your Science class?”
I thought about Eve, and that magical hug on the bus. I smiled, even though it still hurt to do it. “Getting better.”
About the only thing in my life that is.
Chapter 18
DAY 18
EVE
Today was the worst day of my life. My whole world had fallen apart, and it was all my fault.
I kept my emotions in check while walking Kirsten and Sophie home from the bus stop. We usually greeted each other with warm hugs, but my insides were so churned up, I barely felt anything at all. Kirsten asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't even speak, so we all just walked home in silence.
I immediately went upstairs to my room and closed the door. I shed my backpack, jacket and shoes, and sat on the edge of my bed. I grabbed the heart-shaped throw pillow that lay nearby and hugged it. Looking up, I caught sight of my reflection in the bedroom mirror.
I stared at myself for what seemed like forever, and each passing thought hit me in the head like a sledgehammer. I'd betrayed everything I thought I stood for: friendship, loyalty, trust. I'd thrown away my two best friends like they were yesterday's garbage, to join the ranks of a soulless bitch who tormented the weak simply because she could. And all it had taken was one conversation with Rhonda.
She's a monster, I told my reflection, the tears rising to the surface, and so are you.
I collapsed on the bed, wracked with guilt, sobbing into my pillow. I cried louder and longer than I ever had before. Kirsten and Sophie must have heard me, but they were probably too scared to come in to ask what was wrong. Every time the tears stopped, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and they started up again.
An hour later, my mom finally came home. Kirsten must have told her I was upset because she came straight up to my room. I was still crying.
Mom didn't say anything; she simply sat down on the bed and placed my head in her lap, rocking me back and forth like she'd done when I was younger. “It's okay, my darling angel. I'm right here.”
A few minutes later, I finally cried myself dry. “Mom,” I said, reaching for a tissue. “I have a lot of stuff to tell you. And you're not going to like any of it.”
“I'm listening.”
“I've done a horrible thing, Mom.”
I let it all spill out. Everything I'd done, from joining Rhonda to abandoning Emily and Susan to watching my newest friend get beaten to a pulp. It felt good to get it all off my chest, but I already knew what my mom was going to say.
“You screwed up, Eve. Badly. So the question you now have to ask yourself is, 'what am I going to do next?' Do you keep screwing up, or do you try to make things right?”
“I don't know!” I cried. “I feel like my whole world's been turned inside out!”
“Evie, you know that your father and I love you. Your sisters love you. But this mess you're in is of your own making. And in life, there are some messes you have to clean up yourself. It's a big part of growing up.”
“What should I do?” I asked, leaning my head on her shoulder.
She kissed the top of my head. “I think you already know the answer to that, sweetheart.”
Yes. I did.
Chapter 19
DAY 21
JOSHUA
When Eve boarded the bus, she had a look of determination on her face that I'd never seen before. She told me about the conversation she'd had with her mom, and the life-changing decision that faced her. I also noticed her clothes were quite different; instead of wearing some stylish, expensive-looking outfit, she was dressed in blue jeans, a plain pink polo and a worn lavender jacket. No jewelry, no makeup. She'd obviously made up her mind.
“I let Rhonda turn me into the worst possible version of myself,” she told me. “But that ends today. I'm breaking it off with her, forever.”
I swallowed hard. “She's not going to like that,” I said.
She nodded grimly. “I don't give a crap whether she likes it or not. It's happening.”
“When are you going to tell her?”
She thought for a moment. “At lunch. I've been eating at her table since I joined her group. I'm just going to go up to her and tell her we're done.”
I wanted to comfort her, to thank her for sticking up for me … but this was a big day for her, maybe one of the most important days of her life, and the last thing I wanted to do was to make it all about me. “There'll be consequences, you know.”
She closed her eyes resignedly. “I know. It'll be bad. Really bad. But I'm ready for it. I don't think she'll have me beaten up; that's not her style. But whatever she cooks up in that evil brain of hers, I'll deal with it.” She opened her eyes, and I could see a mischievous glint in them. “Just like how another really good friend of mine deals with it.”
So we were really good friends now? As bad as I felt for Eve, this made me feel really good, though it took a lot of effort not to show it.
“If you ever need a place to go to get away from things, you can always join me on the Island,” I said.
She turned to me and smiled. “You mean, the bleachers?”
I blinked. “How'd you know that?”
“I followed you out of the cafeteria a few times. Just to see where you went during recess. You always go to those bleachers, except Fridays of course.”
I nodded, smiling back. “Sneaky.”
“You must like it there.”
I looked into her eyes. “Yeah, it's perfect. No one bothers me there, not even the bullies. It's a great place to relax, read, think, whatever. It does get a little lonely, though. It would be nice to double the Island's population, if you know what I mean.”
She chuckled. “I'd like that. Oh, by the way, did you bring your lunch today or are you going to eat cafeteria food?”
Curious question. “Um … I brought a sandwich today. Why?”
“You may want to stay away from the cafeteria this morning. As soon as you walk in, walk out. Go to the bleachers and stay there.” She grimaced. “Things might go nuclear. If they do, I don't want you anywhere near it.”
My eyes widened. “Gee, that's not the least bit ominous …”
“Well, this is Rhonda we're talking about.”
“Good point,” I said. “Join me if you can?”
“You bet.”
* * *
That entire morning, I debated whether or not I should follow Eve's instructions or not. If the ensuing blowup was going to be as epic as I feared, then people would be talking about it for a long time. I really didn't want to miss that. But I couldn't refuse any request she made of me, so at lunch, I grabbed a milk carton and then left the cafeteria as quickly as
I'd entered it. I headed right for the Island, where I ate my lunch in silence.
I kept looking at the cafeteria, picturing a cartoony mushroom cloud erupting from it at any moment, but nothing happened. Eventually, my classmates poured out of the building and onto the playground, and I waited for Eve to show up. And waited. And waited some more. I began to wonder if something terrible had happened.
Chapter 20
DAY 21
EVE
I opened my locker and retrieved the plastic bag I'd put there that morning, before making my way to the cafeteria. This is it. I spent four months building a new life, and now I'm about to burn it all to the ground.
I didn't even bother getting a lunch-tray; I had a feeling I wasn't going to have much of an appetite after this anyway. I walked over to the table in the corner of the girls' section, where Rhonda was giggling inanely with Kendra and Chloe.
Rhonda looked up when I threw the plastic bag on the table in front of her. “What's this?” she said.
“It's every piece of jewelry, every cosmetic you ever loaned me,” I said. “I don't need it anymore.”
She shook her head. “This is a big mistake, you know that?”
I nodded. “You're right. It is. I should never have accepted your invitation.”
She glared at me. “No, that was my mistake. Your mistake is thinking you can just walk away.”
I shuffled my feet. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“It means, you little troll, that I spent months of my time on you, just so you could …”
“What? Join your group of brainless butt-kissers?” I gestured at Chloe and Kendra.
“Screw you, bitch,” said Chloe, rising to her feet. “I'll smack the crap out of you right now.”
“Sit down, Chloe,” said Rhonda.
Chloe didn't take her eyes off me. “Rhonda …”
“I said sit,” she replied through clenched teeth. Slowly, Chloe sat back down.
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