I looked up at the dark, second-story windows. Not a single light betrayed the presence of life inside the building. I could feel her, though. Her life force burned like a star in my soul, tied to mine until she decided to sever our bond. Without thinking, magic trickled through my body and I left my spot on the sidewalk, reappearing inside Darian’s apartment. Another couple of hours, and the sun would begin its ascent, casting the space in dull, gray light. Now, though, the studio was inky in its blackness.
My supernatural eyesight wasn’t hindered by the dark as I made my way toward the far corner of the apartment where the bed was perfectly situated to give her the best vantage point.
Always vigilant. And so, so guarded.
Not tonight, though. An empty bottle of bourbon sat on the bedside table and Darian’s breathing was deep and even. Gods, she’d gotten drunk and passed out. My protective instincts flared, and my anger manifested in an icy breeze at her carelessness. A chill shook her, and Darian drew her body in a tight ball to fight off the cold. I took a deep breath and carefully pulled the blankets and heavy down comforter up over Darian’s body. When she relaxed and began to breathe easily again, the tension in my own muscles released.
It wasn’t like her to leave herself so vulnerable. Careful not to jostle her, I eased down on the bed beside her. She let out a soft sigh and nestled deeper into the covers. A few errant strands of hair fell across her cheek, and I brushed them away, only slightly aware of how creepy it was to sneak into a woman’s apartment and watch her sleep. Apparently, I was looking to add “stalker” to my resume. A sound of contentment slipped from between her lips and I went instantly rigid. That being the one part of my body that had no business being rigid at a time like this.
Darian affected me in a way that no woman ever had. And why? Her personality wasn’t especially charming. In fact, I’d known pit bulls that were more agreeable. She was beautiful, with delicate features that masked her fiery disposition, but I’d had my fair share of beauties over the course of my long life. Her damned need for control infuriated me, and the way she buried her emotions made me want to shake some sense into her. Daily. She made bad decisions, cussed like a sailor, ran balls-out into dangerous situations, and her black clothes . . . okay, so I didn’t have any complaints about her wardrobe. She looked sexy in her tight, black outfits. Still, most guys would have cut and run by now.
You did, idiot.
As she rolled onto her back, I was overcome with an urge to Ch arif">Ytouch her. Sure, I’d left her. I promised her I’d be back, though. But I’d failed to consider the possibility that she would no longer want me when I finally decided to come home.
Everyone she’s ever cared about has let her down.
Raif’s words haunted me. Had I fucked up any chance of a future with Darian? Would I ever taste the sweetness of her mouth again? Share a night of passion in this bed? Gods, what had I done? I felt as though a canyon stretched out between us, our many issues separating us. It wouldn’t do either of us any good to pick up where we’d left off. The only way to salvage what we’d begun to build was to bridge that gap separating us.
Right here, in this bed, I’d seen her happy. On the verge of letting of me in. I had that trust at my fingertips, damn it, and it had been stolen from me before I could reach out and claim it. Would I ever get a second chance?
* * *
Darian smiled as she wrung the water from her hair. It was the type of smile that made her look so much softer. Almost innocent. Momentarily erasing the jaded edge that cast a permanent shadow on her. We’d spent the day at Pike Place Market, her favorite place in the entire city, mingling with tourists, checking out this shop or another, and eating hum bao down by the waterfront. Seeing her so relaxed . . . it was the perfect end to the perfect day. It made me think our lives could be easy, normal. That we could be happy, removed from the business of death.
“Do you ever get tired of all the goddamned rain?” she asked.
I shrugged. I’d lived in arid desert climates where all you could see for miles and miles was sand. The lush, beautiful green of the Pacific Northwest rainforests had no comparison. “It could be worse,” I said offhand as I hung my wet jacket on the back of the dining room chair. “We could live someplace in the mountains, like Idaho, where it snows six months out of the year.”
Darian shivered and wrinkled her nose in distaste as if she could feel the sub-zero temperatures sinking into her bones. “No fucking way will that ever happen. Can you turn up the heat? I’m freezing.”
It was already seventy-five degrees in her apartment. Any warmer and I’d be tempted to open a few windows. It could be mid-summer with the sun beating down on us, and still Darian would want to be warmer. “You don’t need your thermostat cranked up,” I said, as I crossed the living room. “I can take care of warming you myself.”
With her hands grasping the hem of her shirt, peeled halfway up her body, Darian paused and quirked a brow. My body instantly responded, my cock rising to the challenge in her expression. No woman before her could arouse me with one look. The heat in her eyes was unmistakable, and my heart pumped in my chest at the thought of taking her. “Leave that shirt right where it is,” I warned. “I want to take it off of you myself.”
“Oh yeah?” she said as if she had no intention of letting me do any such thing. “Maybe I don’t want to wait for you to do it. I told you, I’m cold.”
I approached her slowly. Darian stood with her feet planted firmly in place. She thought she was such a badass, but I was going to win this particular battle of wills. She’d be begging me to make love t Co m firmly ino her before the night was over. “Don’t you dare move.” I let a low growl accentuate my words, the sound of a restrained beast. I could sense the bear stirring within me, awoken by Darian’s scent and her unwavering stare. The bear’s spirit was a part of me, a bonus to my magic, the muscle I needed when going up against a staunch foe. A tool for fighting and nothing more. All of us carried an animal spirit within us; a totem, more or less. Mine was feisty tonight, perhaps worked up by the challenge in Darian’s demeanor. Likely the bear felt cheated that he was used so seldom. Maybe he just wanted me to know he was there, ready to play. I wasn’t a shifter, the animal wasn’t inherently part of my physiology, but the animal instinct lived in my subconscious just the same.
Darian must have seen the predatory gleam in my eyes. She didn’t budge. She knew better than to flee from an animal on the prowl.
My eyes drifted to the exposed skin of her flat belly and her muscles tensed in anticipation. I reached out, a feather-light touch against her flesh, and she trembled. “Lie down,” I ordered, glancing toward the bed.
She gave me a petulant look. “Ty, I’m all wet—”
“Lie down.” I cut her off. “Now.”
Her eyes hardened for the barest second. It killed her to be told anything, and doing as I said would drive her crazy. I wanted to throw her off balance, to make her give up control for a change. And damn it, I was going to get my way. A sweet smile curved her lips. I didn’t trust that she’d give in so easily, but she backed up until the foot of the bed stayed her progress and then she slowly sat down and stretched her taut body out on top of the white comforter.
With her arms reaching out toward the headboard, she looked like a sacrificial offering. Darian closed her eyes, that same secretive smile playing on her mouth. “Well, here I am,” she purred, “laid out and ready for you to undress me. Best get busy, Ty.”
The sound of her voice, breathy and seductive, burned in my blood. She arched her back off the bed, teasing, tempting, pushing me to my limits. Under her shirt, her nipples stiffened, whether from the cold or her arousal, it didn’t matter. Seeing her like this: wet, her hair wild and dripping, her body stretched out for me on the bed, it was a visual feast. A meal I wanted to savor.
“Talking wastes precious energy,” I chided as I made my way to the base of the mattress and straddled her leg where it dangled off the edge of the bed
. “I suggest you keep quiet to stave off hypothermia.”
She gave a derisive snort, but didn’t dare open her eyes to look at me. I smiled at her playfulness. It was so seldom I could catch her off guard like this. “You know what else staves off hypothermia?” she asked, amusement in her voice. “Body heat.” I leaned over and blew lightly on the still rain-damp skin of her exposed belly. Her breath hitched as goose bumps rose on her flesh. “Mmmm . . .” Gods, the little sounds she made . . . I wanted to shuck her shirt, pants, and everything else hiding her body. It required every bit of self-control I had to slow down and take my time with her.
I knew her game. The reason for her secretive smiles and agreeability. Darian was sure I’d lose control before she did.
Wasn’t gonna happen.
W C se
I grasped her hips in my hands and maneuvered her higher up on the bed. Her chest rose and fell with quick little breaths, the anticipation of what I’d do next obviously exciting her. I eyed her soaking wet clothes, realizing that logistically speaking, peeling them off her was going to be a chore. The nylon fabric had sucked itself to her skin, and since I’d moved her up on the bed, it didn’t give me much room to work. With the shirt, anyway. The pants would be a piece of cake.
As I slowly unfastened the top button, I asked, “What’s bothering you more? The fact that your bed’s getting wet or how long it’s taking me to get you naked?”
“The bed,” she murmured. “This comforter is a bitch to clean.”
A chuckle worked its way up my throat as I slowly pulled down her zipper. “Liar.”
As if she were simply stretching, Darian reached her leg up and brushed her foot against the erection straining against my jeans. “I’ve got this locked down, Ty. You, on the other hand, won’t last much longer.”
Damn it, she was right. I wanted to be inside of her so badly, I doubted I’d make it to her shirt. One look at the soft, pink flesh hidden beneath her underwear and I’d be done for. Inch by inch I peeled her pants off and after I tossed them to the floor, I took her foot in my hands and kissed my way back up her legs. Darian moaned and opened her knees wider. Nope. Not yet. Those underwear were staying put. When I reached the juncture between her thighs, I lightly ran my finger over the fabric, tracing her sex. Darian moaned, arching into my touch once again and I pulled away, moving for higher ground.
“Ty, don’t stop,” she said in a pouty voice. Jesus, she was killing me.
“Sorry, love, as your bound protector, I cannot run the risk of you catching hypothermia. The wet clothes have to come off. It’s my duty.”
“Duty my ass,” she grumbled.
Getting her shirt off was going to be a testament to my ability. The damn wet nylon clung to her like a second skin. I shimmied it up her ribcage, her arms tangling around her. The collar caught on her chin when I tried to pull the garment over her head. She squirmed on the bed, helping to wriggle out, and the sight of her breasts swelling over the cups of her bra made my brain go fuzzy. Her nipples strained against the lace, begging to be freed. All I could think about was taking one of those tight buds into my mouth and rolling it between my teeth. Lust burned in the pit of my stomach, my cock ached at the sound of Darian’s unguarded, throaty laughter as she freed herself from her shirt and unabashed enjoyment of our play. Her happiness was more powerful than any aphrodisiac in the world.
Damn.
She had me. My meager self-control evaporated under her heated stare.
I tossed her wet shirt somewhere behind me. Intoxicated by her scent, her body, the way she looked at me, my brain shut down. I could barely form a coherent word, let alone continue with my witty banter. Two words flashed in my mind like a neon sign: Naked. Now.
Darian’s gaze wandered to my mouth as she licked her lips. It was the last invitation I needed. I crawled up the length of the bed and straddled her, careful not to touch her. She reached for me, her hands trailing over my chest, down my stomach, and lower toward the hem of my shirt. Reaching underneath to stroke my skin, her fiery touch ignited every nerve ending on my body. As she worked my shirt up I lifted one arm, and then the other so she could take it off of me.
“You’re better at this than I am,” I admitted. I’d undressed her, but the way she took my shirt off was goddamned hot.
Darian laughed, dark and sensual. “I’m tired of playing. I want you, Tyler. Please.”
I bent down and kissed her softly. “Are you begging?” I asked against her mouth.
“Mmmm . . .” The vibrating hum shot straight to my cock. She thrust her hips to grind against my erection. “I’m demanding,” she nipped my bottom lip, “I want you. Now.”
Her hands found my waistband just as she reached up to kiss me again. I thrust my tongue inside of her mouth, deepening the kiss, needing a part of me inside of her. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more. Consumed by her, I barely noticed as she worked my jeans and underwear down over my ass. She wrapped her leg around my thigh and worked her foot inside the waistband and pushed the jeans the rest of the way down. I scrambled to help her, kicking them free.
My arms and legs trembled as I supported myself above her, fighting to control my urge to skip the formalities and just bury myself deep inside of her. I needed to feel her tight warmth wrapped around me, but not before I tasted every inch of her first.
I lowered myself on top of her slowly, kissing her until she was breathless. With trembling hands, I unfastened her bra, tearing it from her in a frenzy. Once it was gone, my lips left hers and I ventured lower, down her jaw, to her throat, across her collar bone. I took one breast in my hand, teasing, and her nipple tightened as I swept my thumb across it. The other, I drew into my mouth, sucking and nipping at the flesh until Darian cried out. She threaded her fingers through my hair as I continued to play with her, kissing lower, across her belly.
I got to her underwear and pulled them off in a single sweeping motion. Done playing, I positioned her higher on the bed, grabbing her pillow and tucking it under her. I bent down between her thighs and kissed my way to her glistening sex. I groaned as my mouth met her heat and I tasted her, she was so damned good. I was hungry for her, starving, as I ran the flat of my tongue up over her sensitive folds and then sucked her swollen bud alternating the sensations. Darian moaned, and excitement chased down my spine like quicksilver, settling deep at the base of my erection. Gods, if she kept up with those delicious sounds, I’d come. Right here and now.
As my tongue swirled in circles around the tight knot of nerves at her core, my eyes met hers. Darian’s breath came in quick pants, and she threw her head back, sweet mewling sounds escaping her parted lips. “God, Ty, that feels so good,” she moaned. “I’m close.”
I ground my hips into the mattress, the need to thrust into something overwhelming me. Her hips bucked as she cried out and I plunged my tongue deep inside of her, greedily lapping at her as she came. Moisture beaded at the head of my cock. I was dam Cck.>
I slid slowly into her slick, wet heat. A moan worked its way up my throat, ending in primal growl that echoed through the apartment. It took all of the control I had not to burst, but she was so damned tight, so delicious, I was becoming mindless in my need to claim her. Darian reached up, grasped my arms and pulled herself closer, opening her thighs wider. I filled her completely. I stilled for a moment, relishing the sensation of her sex clinging to my erection, hot, slick, and soft as silk.
Perfection. This moment, the way Darian’s eyes were hooded and warm with passion, her round curves, her soft skin, and the heat of her that so easily sent me into a carnal frenzy. Nothing in my life had ever been as close to perfect as this moment, right here, right now. I moved again, going slowly, almost pulling out completely, and a desperate whimper escaped Darian’s lips. My mouth descended on hers and I swallowed her cries, driving deep into her, moving against her, the soft friction of our bodies working me up to the pressure point. I trembled with the need for release.
“Tyler!”
D
arian broke our kiss and cried my name as an orgasm overtook her. Her sex pulsed, clenching me tightly as I pumped harder, faster, deeper, desperate to come with her. My body coiled tight, my shaft ached, and just when I thought I couldn’t take another second of sweet torture, I came hard. I threw my head back, my jaw clenched as I pressed as far into her as I could. Our bodies melded together as one, and a single word erupted out of me in language I hadn’t spoken in millennia: “Donin!”
Mine.
My love. My Charge. My everything.
* * *
Christ. I couldn’t breathe. My chest ached from the memory of that night. Darian stirred, her body inching toward me as if she had no choice but to close the distance between us. She’d cut me so deep when she left. I thought I’d never see her again, and the thought of losing her almost killed me. I loved her. I loved her so goddamned much it hurt. I loved her fire and her passion and that insufferable independence that caused me so much trouble. I loved her strength and conviction. I loved how she protected and helped those she cared about no matter the personal cost. I loved her fight. I loved that, despite all of the tragedies in her life, she’d survived. How could I not love Darian?
I bent down and kissed her gently on the lips. A ghost of a smile played on her mouth and her sle
ep became easy once again. I was lost to her, lost to the gray, stoic indifference that constructed her. And I craved her like a drug.
How could I ever leave her?
Chapter 7
Conflicted wasn’t just a word, it was a fucking railroad spike through my chest, as I eased myself off of the bed. Careful not to wake Darian, I walked into the living room and slumped down on the couch. My conviction slipped with every second I stayed in her apartment. Nothing could keep me from her if she was in danger. Our bond guaranteed it FQӵXh. My con. Seeing her, though, made me want to rethink all of my recent decisions.
Lost to the Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novella (A Penguin Special from Signet Eclipse) Page 5