by Charity B.
I want so badly to go with Lex. I don’t ask though because I already know what the answer would be.
He drops the three of us off at his house and when Silas shuts the front door, we all stare at each other, none of us knowing what to say without Alexander as our buffer.
Sasha puts down Blind Mag and I pick her up as Silas walks to the fridge and takes out a beer. “You guys want one?”
“Sure.” Sasha sits at the island and I nod at him that I’d like one, too.
He hands them to us before he leans against the counter and pops the tab. Arching his thick eyebrow, he asks, “So, is anyone going to explain to me what’s going on? Or why I’m babysitting two grown adults?”
Sasha looks at me so he does too. I feel hot and my stomach kind of hurts. I don’t know what to say.
“W—well…there’s someone after me. Someone bad. He found out I was staying with Sasha and he—”
“He threatened me and Alex,” she finishes, as she glances at me, obviously not wanting Silas to know about something. I’m not sure if it’s the heroin, Drew, or both.
“Um…yeah, so Alexander doesn’t want us left alone. He went to go talk to my friend, Toben, to make sure he’s okay.”
“And how does he fit into this?”
I still shouldn’t tell people. I don’t want to do anything else to make Logan any madder than he already is.
“He’s a prostitute that worked with Tavin,” Sasha answers for me, and it’s like my throat opens up allowing the oxygen to get back in.
“Ohhhh. So, the ‘someone bad’ is your pimp?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He snaps his finger apparently proud of his ability to follow this. “Hold on, isn’t that who you fucked?”
Sasha stands up and goes to the counter. “No more questions, Hamilton.” When she turns around, she has two cookies in her hand and gives me one. Yes! Cara Jo’s rainbow sprinkle cookies are the best. “You have to get your own cookie.”
Did she wink at him?
His smile says she did. He lifts the lid to the cookie jar and grabs a fist full. Grinning, he asks, “So you guys wanna wreck the bong I keep here?” I keep myself from squealing as I nod at him, and he laughs, “Short stack’s obviously down.”
Sasha flips her hair over her shoulder and groans, “Ugh, stoner. You keep a bong here?”
“Yeah. I have some clothes and a few other things too. I keep them in the room I sometimes use when I…need to sleep it off.”
“I’m sure,” Sasha deadpans. “‘Sleep it off’ inside a chick, maybe.” He shrugs and when her mouth falls open, he laughs at her while she punches him in the arm. “Fine, whatever. Let’s go.”
I hear something, causing me to look at the bedroom door. “Did you guys hear that?”
“No, just like the last three times you asked,” Silas mumbles.
I shake my head. I heard something. “It’s voices.”
Jumping up to run out of Silas’ room and down the hall, I ignore them calling after me. I burst into the kitchen and then I see them. The two people that mean more to me than anything.
Toben looks like he’s alright, allowing my chest to slowly deflate and I want to cry with relief.
Silas and Sasha come behind me when Sasha asks, “Is everything okay?”
“We aren’t dead yet. So yeah, sure, everything’s fabulous,” Toben spouts off as he laces his fingers with mine.
I examine him and he seems completely fine. “What happened with Logan?”
“Nothing, yet. He hasn’t said a word to me.” He cups my face with both hands. “So you’ve made up your mind about coming home then?”
There’s anger in his darkened eyes and pain in his voice. I’m betraying the only person that has always been there for me no matter what. Am I being a bad person and a bad friend by choosing to trust Lex and wanting this other life?
Even though I really don’t want to cry, the moisture burns so badly I don’t think I can stop it. I was so sure, and now that I’m back with Toben, seeing what I’m doing to him, I’m suddenly not anymore.
He’s endured so much pain at the hands of others, but this time it’s me doing the hurting. I don’t want that. I don’t want that at all.
The tears pour from my eyes making things blurry. “Tobe, I…I don’t know.”
“What?!”
Sasha and Lex both yell at me.
I look up at Alexander, his chest rises with his deep breaths. “What the fuck do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”
Nobody understands. Nobody! I feel sick and slimy and I want to grab that potato peeler off the counter and shave the skin off my arms.
I pull away from Toben, from all of them. “What do you all want from me? Tell me!” I turn to Lex and Sasha. “You want me to put my best friend in danger. You want me to walk away from the only life I have ever known and expect me to instantly be something else.” I look at Toben. “How can you not see that I may finally be getting the chance to be done with it? The chance to be free of the disgust, the Clients…Logan. You know how it is for me. Day after day, man after man, each getting to say and do anything they want, each making me dirtier and filthier! Why would you want that for me?” His face falls along with his shoulders. I don’t want him to feel bad, I want him to see why. Why I need to get out. “I’m just…I’m so tired, Toben.”
He comes closer and brushes his fingers across my cheek. “I’m sorry, Love. I don’t want that for you. I’ve just always thought it was better that you’re sad as long as you’re alive.”
Lex comes up behind me and places his hand on the small of my back. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore. And even though I can’t promise how long it will take, I will permanently free her from that fuck, one way or another. That much I swear.”
Toben wipes his nose. “Well at least you believe it.”
“I can help you too, you know.”
Toben lets out a sarcastic laugh before straightening his beanie and crossing his arms. “Uh, no, I’m good.”
Monday, June 22nd
I trail my fingers over the scars on her back as she lies against my chest. When I look at the clock, I groan and lift her off me.
“I need to start getting ready for work.” Pulling open my drawer, I take out my green basketball shorts and look over my shoulder. “Do you wanna let me watch you do yoga while I work out?”
With a grin, she hops off the bed to put on her shorts and tank. She’s behind me as I swing open my bedroom door to find Cara Jo in the hallway. She glares at me with one hand on the vacuum and the other on her hip.
“Will Emily be staying for breakfast or do you already have someone new in there?”
I’m a little taken aback by her hostility. “Do you have something you want to say Cara Jo?”
She straightens her back and grips the vacuum handle. “Actually, young man, I do. You being my employer doesn’t change the fact that I raised you from diapers, and that will always deserve your respect. Until now, I’ve never needed to point that out. I don’t know the whole story with Tavin because you’ve decided to close me off, so I haven’t said my peace about it. I spent a lot of time with that girl. Whatever you think she did, she must have had a good reason.”
I didn’t realize I hurt her so badly. While I knew I hadn’t treated her the greatest, I simply assumed she would brush it off like she always does.
“It was never my intention to disappoint you and I don’t ever want to make you feel that way. I lash out when I am struggling emotionally, you know that…not that it’s an excuse. I should have come to you. I’m very sorry. Truly. Take Saturday off, paid, okay?”
She raises her eyebrow, turning her head to the side. “What’s going on with you? Something’s…” Her eyes widen as a huge smile brightens her face. “Tavin!”
I suddenly become invisible as Cara Jo pushes past me to hug her. A loud yawn makes us all look to see Sasha coming up the stairs.
“What’s with the love fest?”
I’m having a difficult time explaining the situation without being able to actually explain the situation. Cara Jo has always been good about giving me space, though her curiosity has its limits.
“Will you be staying here for a while then, Sasha?”
Sasha rests her cheek in her palm and nods. “Indefinitely.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that, dear.” Cara Jo pats her on the shoulder before she picks up her empty plate.
Sasha slouches down in her chair “Thanks, Cara Jo.”
Tavin’s gaze falls to her lap like she’s feeling guilty again. I squeeze her hand beneath the table to get a smile out of her, before I check my phone. It’s almost six. The body guard I hired will be here any minute.
Casually, I try to inform Cara Jo. “I decided I needed to hire an extra hand around here.” Her eyebrows lift up her forehead and I can feel a glare coming on. “He’s only here for security. Don’t worry, he’ll stay out of your way.”
Her irritation evaporates as she asks, “Security? What on earth for?”
“It’s only precaution, there’s nothing to worry about.”
As if on cue, the doorbell rings. I open it only to be dwarfed by Dwayne Johnson’s doppelganger. He holds out his massive hand. “Hello, Mr. Sørensen. My name is Timothy Shark.”
Shark? Well, it’s fitting. I wonder if he’ll have to duck to get in the door.
“Hi. Come on in.” He fills up the entire entryway as I lead him to the kitchen and gesture to the girls. “Mr. Shark, this is Cara Jo, Tavin, and my sister, Sasha.”
His baritone voice rumbles as he clasps his hands together. “It’s a pleasure.”
Cara Jo gapes at his size as Sasha leans forward to rest her head on her hands, basically drooling when she says, “Yes, it is.” She’s so ridiculous it’s embarrassing.
Tavin holds up her hand in a wave, and he nods to her before turning to me. “My portfolio has been emailed to you and I’ve been briefed on your file. Is there anything else pertinent?”
It’s a little unsettling to know I’m leaving three of the most important women in my life, alone with a stranger. He’s the agency’s highest recommended body guard though, and that helps ease my anxieties.
“My main concern is that you’re aware of Tavin’s whereabouts at all times, and if you leave the house, she’s not to ever be out of your sight.”
“I understand completely, sir.”
“If you need anything, feel free to call or text anytime. You have all my emails and numbers.” I hold out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Shark.”
“Likewise. And Timothy is fine.”
“Okay, Timothy, I need to get ready for work, so I guess I’ll leave you to it.”
As I walk up the stairs, I hear the small talk begin and on my walk back down, I hear laughter.
They seem to all be getting along just fine when I tell everyone goodbye. Tavin wraps her arms around my neck and she kisses me.
“Have a good day, Lex.”
“You too. Try to have fun.”
It gives me a mix of relief and excitement to know she’ll be here when I get home.
As I pull out of my driveway and stop at the first stop sign on my street, I dial William’s number. He hasn’t called me back, and I’ve tried a few times since yesterday.
I’m about to hang up when the ringing is cut off by a woman’s voice. “Hello?”
“Hello, my name is Alexander Sørensen. I’m looking for William Morrison, is he available?”
There’s a long pause before she says, “I’m so sorry, William has passed on.”
It’s not as if I knew the man that well, and still, my stomach drops at the news. “I’m very sorry to hear that. May I ask what happened?”
She sniffles before I hear the creak of a chair. “Oh…well, I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you this…” Her voice drops as a sob escapes. “He shot himself.” Alarm bells sound in the back of my mind as her breathing gets shaky, “I never had any suspicions that he could do this.”
It may be paranoia, but with what just happened with Sasha, the timing doesn’t feel coincidental. My heart beats a little harder as I consider the fact that William may have played a part in Logan finding out about Tavin staying at Sasha’s.
“I appreciate you telling me, and I’m sorry for your loss.”
Disconnecting the call, a shiver runs through my body. I know people can surprise you, but William always struck me as too selfish to kill himself.
My gut rolls at the thought of what could have transpired with Sasha if Logan had wanted to take it that direction. While I can’t be certain he played a part William’s death, the suicide isn’t sitting right and hiring someone else to investigate could potentially get more people hurt. I wipe a hand over my face and crank up the air conditioner to cool myself down and slow my heart rate.
I’m going to have to figure this out on my own.
Driving a little faster than necessary on my way home from work, I finally pull into my driveway. I can’t help it. I’ve been thinking about seeing her all day.
The kitchen is empty besides Cara Jo stirring away at the stove. “Hey, how did everything go today?”
She turns and wipes her hands on her apron. “It went fine, I just don’t understand what’s going on exactly.”
“I know, and I promise at some point I will answer all of your questions.” Taking off my jacket, I drape it over my arm as she pats my back.
“I won’t ever push you, dear.”
“Thank you.” I wrap her in a side hug as I grab a fried potato off the skillet. “Where is everyone?”
She smacks my hand away and shoos me off. “They went downstairs about an hour ago. Maybe you should join them.”
Laughing, I turn to go upstairs when she adds, “When you go down there, tell them dinner will be ready in a half hour.”
Once I change out of my suit, I jog back downstairs. As soon as I open the basement door, music and laughter floats up the stairwell. I step onto the landing, and what’s going on in my gaming center could easily be classified as disturbing.
Dance Dance Revolution is on the TV. Tavin and Sasha are in fits of laughter watching Timothy get down to a Britney Spears song.
I wait until the song is finished to let my presence be known. “That was impressive.”
He laughs, “Peer pressure and pretty girls. I’m not invincible, you know.”
Tavin bounces up to me and wraps her arms around my waist. I kiss her forehead and turn back to Timothy. “Are you staying for dinner? Cara Jo made plenty and I think she’s expecting you to…unless you have a family you need to get home to?”
“That’s very kind, and no, I don’t have anywhere to be. I would love to stay.”
“Great. Would you like a drink?”
I mix our drinks and we sit, watching the girls dance their little butts off. He seems like a pretty good guy. The short conversation we have before dinner tells me that he has recently split up with his fiancé, a girl named Melanie, because he met the love of his life, Todd. He told me that while he loves both of them, his heart belongs to Todd and he will always honor his heart. His story is rather sweet. His now ex-fiancé is completely supportive and they have been able to remain friends. By the time we head upstairs for dinner, any doubts I may have had about hiring him have vanished.
Dinner is a nice break from the constant tension that’s been in my life, recently. Timothy is an intelligent and funny guy and has us all laughing over his tales of being a security and body guard. Over dessert, he mentions that he’s always wanted to go to culinary school.
“I have some great tricks I could teach you, Cara Jo.”
The awkward silence that follows her responding glare is broken by Tavin’s chortles. “Cara Jo doesn’t share the kitchen.”
Cara Jo winks at Tavin and puts another small slice of pie on her plate. “That’s my girl.”
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Sasha nudges her shoulder and loudly whispers, “Suck up.”
Tavin swallows her huge bite, and points to her plate. “Maybe, but I’m the one with two pieces of pie.”
Wiping my mouth, I chuckle as the doorbell rings through the house. Gesturing at Cara Jo with my hand, I tell her I got it.
I open the door to see the asshole who created me, standing on my front porch. “What are you doing here?”
He’s definitely not coming inside, so I step out and shut the door behind me. His skin looks a little pale and the bags under his eyes are bigger than I’ve ever seen them. With shaky fingers he combs back his graying hair.
“I’m not sure what you know, Alexander. I’ve learned to not ask questions when it comes to Logan.” Fear is not something I’m accustomed to seeing in my father’s eyes, and as unsettling as that is for me, I won’t let him see me waiver. “You’ve made a violent and powerful man very angry, Son. I can see you care about her and I know she’s intoxicating—”
“If you want me to listen to another word you have to say, don’t reference having been with her, again.”
He closes his eyes while he shakes his head. “You need to let her go, Son. The things this man is capable of doing… I should have warned you from the beginning. I’d hoped that maybe you were making the right connections in an unorthodox manner. I never imagined she was hiding with you.”
“You’re seriously suggesting I send her back to her captor and rapist?”
He wipes his hands across his face. “I didn’t know anything definitive, though I had my suspicions. She always seemed as if she want—” He looks at my glare and is smart enough to stop himself. “He could destroy us all, Alexander. Please think this through. Is this girl worth losing everything you and those you love, have worked so hard for?”
I scoff. “Oh my God. He threatened your finances, that’s why you’re here.” I don’t even know why I’m surprised. “I thought maybe you knew about Sasha. Come to find out, all you’re worried about is your money.”