by R. S Burnett
“I’ll be fine” I assure him patting his arm.
“What you doing behind the bar on your birthday anyway, don’t even attempt to try and work tonight” he scolds making me giggle.
“I was thinking about providing some entertainment actually” I wink up at him.
“Just be careful” he says as he walks back into his office leaving me stood behind the bar watching the crowd.
I mess about behind the bar and flirt with a few customers. I smile reassuringly at the curious glances from Lucy and Jess. I completely ignore Mel not able to get the picture of her and Tucker out of my mind, and I shake my head at Sophie every time she gets up to come over to me when she’s not watching me worriedly.
I straddle the bar and laugh while a group of drunken students slur through singing ‘happy birthday’ to me.
“I’ll buy you a tray of shots if you can impress me in less than two minutes” one of the students grins up at me.
“Are you sure?” I ask as I jump down from the bar and pour out the six shots that make up the trays we sell.
“Yeah, I don’t think you can do it” He says smugly.
I smirk at him and reach my hand under the bar next to me to grab a cherry, pulling the stem out I hold it up for him to see them slip it in my mouth. Ten seconds later I pull it out with a perfect knot in it.
“Okay you win” he stutters amazed. I laugh and shake my head at him.
“Want me to do it again?” I ask laughing when as soon as I’ve said it he calls a group of men over to watch. I stand on the bar and grab the microphone.
“Hey Andrew!” I call into the mic trying to spot him through the crowd. I finally spot him dancing with Jess. “Get your sexy ass over and up here, I need ya. Don’t worry Jess you’ll get him back in one piece” I laugh.
Zack our weekend bartender pokes me in the leg and I look down to see he is holding out a handful of cherry stems to me. I take them and one at a time put them in my mouth and tie in knots them handing them down the guys stood at my feet.
“What are you doing?” Andrews voice full of laughter comes over the speakers as he walks across the top of the bar watching me curiously.
“Showing these very handsome men what I can do with my tongue” I reply grinning at him. “Wanna see?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.
“Always” is all he replies and watches as I repeat the process and pass him the knotted stem. “Wow no wonder you’re so good at ...” I cut him off by smacking the top of his head making him grin and the crowd laugh.
“Anytime baby” I sing into the mic at him.
“So what did you call me up here for?” He asks cocking his head at me.
“Well” I start as I turn to face the crowd. “As you all know it is my birthday” The crowd cheers and says happy birthday and I curtsey to them making them laugh “Anyway I thought what better way to celebrate than with … a little … bet?” I whisper the last word into the mic and turn to Andrew.
“I’m up for that what were you thinking?” he asks.
I walk over and lower my mic as I whisper in his ear. “Well as it’s my birthday and I should celebrate, I was thinking you should pick the man I’m going to celebrate with, the bet being on if he is still with me in the morning”
The crowd starts chanting “what’s the bet” so I lift my mic back up to tell them but when I open my mouth Andrew cuts me off straight away.
“Are you fucking crazy?” he yells into his mic making me wince from the sheer volume of it.
“Why the hell not?” I demand swinging around to face him.
“I can think of about a hundred reasons why, the first one being is that it’s dangerous the second one being have you lost your god damn mind?” he snaps.
“It’s not dangerous if I use a…” he cuts me off again by grabbing my arm and pulling me into him.
“HEY!” I hear Matt shout from the table. We both ignore him.
“You’re not doing it” Andrew says into my ear so only I can hear.
“I can do what the god damn hell I want” I snap back.
“What’s this about Brooke?” he asks as he pushes me away but only far away enough so he can search my eyes.
“I just want to forget” I whisper to him sadly remembering the last photo I looked at last night of me and Tucker hugging at a house party covered in paint from a paintball fight that’s broke out.
He must have seen the pain in them because he pulls me into a hug. “I won’t let you do it, I’ll follow you around all night if I have to” he says stubbornly letting me know I don’t have a choice.
It’s then that I notice the club is deathly silent and even Will has come out to see what’s happening, my eyes travel around the club as I look at all the people that now make up my life.
Sophie is now stood in front of the bar directly below me, back at the table Matt and Tucker are in a deep hushed discussion but keeping one eye on me and Andrew. Matt looks panicked, Tucker’s frowning. It’s then I notice Matt has his hand wrapped around Tuckers arm. I turn back to the crowd and raise my mic again.
“Sorry guys, I’m not allowed to do the bet I want to do” I pout into the mic causing a few groans and protests even though they don’t know what the bet was.
“I’m sure we can think of something else” Andrew assures everyone.
“Nothing as fun as mine though” I mutter trying not to look back at Matt and Tucker.
My foot hits something and I look down to find the tray of shots I won, I bend down to pick them up and Andrew holds it for me as I take the shots in sync with the crowd yelling numbers. I hear my name and turn to see Andrew bending down talking to Sophie. He’s no doubt telling her about my bet. The traitor.
All I want is to forget, with the hope that being with someone will finally erase the physical memory finally that has kept me up too many nights to count, even though it never worked before, maybe it has to be with someone I already know.
“Hey Luce?” I call in to the mic “Those questions I got asked earlier I don’t have to stick to them do I?” I ask but all I get is a confused look from her. “If I answered no to a question or two of them actually… I can change my mind right?” I explain, she nods at me.
I quickly chance a look down at Sophie and Andrew to see if they are watching me but they are still deep in conversation, so I pull out my phone and dial my last chance at forgetting.
“Hello” the familiar husky voice greets my ear making me smile.
“Hey, where are you?”
“At home, why where are you?”
“At the club, what are you doing later?”
“Are you drunk?” he asks. I didn’t realize I was slurring. Turning and gesturing for Zack to get me a glass of water. I turn my attention back to my phone
“No, not really anyway” I laugh into the phone
“Am I missing a good night out?” He laughs with me
“You are, we’re celebrating my birthday but Andrew wont let me have any fun” I whine
“It’s your birthday?” he asks sounding surprised.
“It is” I confirm
“I would have given you something if I knew”
“I can think of a thing or two that I want” I purr into the phone. I had no idea I was so good at being slutty, I frown as I realize that.
“Where are you staying tonight?” he asks lowering his voice.
“Umm not sure, hold on” I pull the phone away from my ear and lift the mic “Matt, are you and Sophie staying over mine tonight?” I ask
“Umm I think so” he calls back.
“Shit” I say forgetting the mic is in my hands and making a few people chuckle but Matt and Tucker just frown at me.
“I have people staying at mine tonight” I reply into the phone forgetting the mic again until I hear the cheers from the crowd, I quickly put the mic down and turn around to collect my glass of water.
“You can come over mine, do you want me to pick you up from the club?” he asks but bef
ore I get a chance to reply the phone is taken out of my hand, I look around and see Andrew holding it to his ear talking to his brother glaring at me.
I drain my glass and glare back at him for ruining my plans.
“What’s going on Brooke? I’ve never seen you like this before. What’s happened?” Andrew says in my ear and pockets my phone.
“A lot of shit has happened Andrew, now give me my phone back” I snap at him fed up of everyone trying to control what I do.
“You can have it back in the morning” he promises kissing my cheek. “So we thought of a bet yet?” he asks the crowd and passes me my mic. A few people shout random things out at us making Andrew laugh and me scowl. “You’ll be thanking me tomorrow morning” Andrew laughs into his mic at my expression.
“Not considering what I would be doing tomorrow morning if you would have let me have my bet” I snap back. Taking no notice of the “oooohhhs” from the crowd and watch as Sophie, Matt and Tucker all snaps their heads towards me when they hear that.
“Trust me” Andrew sighs
“Yeah, and you’ll be thanking me when I’ll be cock blocking you for the next three months. Have you ever gone three months without sex?” I say sweetly into the mic. “You’ll hate me for it and I’ll even move in with you if I have to” I insist.
“Honey if you’re going to make me go without sex for three months you do not want to be in my house alone with me unless you want to end up in my bed, that is” he says knowingly making me laugh at last.
“Take me there now and we’ll call it quits” I smirk at him feeling myself relax again and the atmosphere in the club lifts as Andrew and I go back to our usual banter.
“You couldn’t handle me sweetie” he grins at me.
“I got five guys stood at your feet that can tell you that you couldn’t handle my mouth let alone anything else” I tease and blow a kiss to the students I was doing the cherry stem trick for.
“Okay, okay if you could have one thing for your birthday right now. What would it be?” he asks me but faces the crowd.
“Don’t ask me that. You already know what I want”
“Okay. If I could give you something what would it be?” he asks facing me now.
I snort “Don’t ask me that either”
“It’s hard to find a bet to get around your current intentions Brooke” he sighs.
“Well if you’d give me my phone back I could sort it out” I say but then an idea hits me. Not one that I want to stick around and watch but one that will save me the regret that I know will come in the morning and it will make me forget all the same. “Okay, I promise that I won’t do what I said, but I need my phone please” I promise.
“What are you going to do?” he asks away from his mic.
“I promise I won’t do that, you’re right it was a stupid idea and I’d only regret it tomorrow. But I do need my phone back. Please there’s something else that will make me feel better” I say into his ear so only he can hear. “You can even listen in to the call” I beg now getting desperate.
I watch as he hands over my phone and go through the numbers finding the one I want and holding it up in between our ears.
“Hey girlie”
“Hey, where you to?” I ask
“At a house party why?”
“Come to the club”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, bring a few friends as well. It’ll be worth it. I promise”
“See you in ten” she hangs up.
The DJ puts on a song and the crowd start chanting “Dance” so I turn to Andrew and shrug my shoulders “You owe me” he just laughs and takes my hand.
We spend the next fifteen minutes dancing on the bar, me grinding into his hips and him running his hands through my hair, much to the clubbers delight. When we finally stop to catch our breath everyone is gathering around the bar to get more drinks and Andrew and I jump down once we are both handed a bottle of beer each. Andrew heads back to the table and I promise to meet him there once I have found my friends, I find them stood near the dance floor looking around. I don’t like what I’m about to do and have to stop to hold my stomach for a minute before I head over to greet them.
Once I’ve spoken to them all briefly and told them my plan they follow me back to the table.
“Brooke what the hell was all that about up on the …” Sophie trails off when she notices that I’m not alone.
“Hey guys, I have some friends for you all to meet. Everyone this is Ade, Louise, Hannah, Adele, Lauren, Whitney and Gemma” I point out each girl when I say their names then turn to the girls. “Girls this is, Sophie, Lucy, Mel, Jess, Cam, Derek, Tucker, Jamie, Neil, Matt and Andrew” I do the same pointing everyone out to each other. “I’ll be back in a sec, just going to say hey to a few people” I say as I watch the girls all introduce themselves to the guys.
“Hey, Zack finished for the night?” I guess as I bump into him.
“Yeah, busy tonight, you enjoying your night?” He asks looking around the club.
“Yes, it’s been one to remember anyway”
“Wanna dance?” he asks looking uncomfortable just standing around by the dance floor.
“Sure” I reply as I take his hand and follow him onto the dance floor.
“What’s wrong? You don’t look all that happy?” I ask frowning when I look up and see he’s distracted.
“I had an argument with Bex” He sighs frustrated.
“You’ll be fine”
“I don’t think we will, it was a pretty big one” he shakes his head frowning and I guess that he’s running through the argument in his head.
“Honey arguing isn’t all bad in a relationship” I assure him
“How so?” he asks hopefully
“What comes with arguing?” I ask
He appears to think it over for a second “Make-up sex” he says with a nod of his head making me laugh
“True, but apart from that?”
“A headache” he replies straightaway.
“No. Passion. You both argue because you love each other. You’re hurting now the same as she is because you have the power to be able to hurt each other, you can only hurt someone if they care about you. It’s when you no longer care enough to argue that you want to worry” I assure him
“I guess you’re right” he smiles and then starts twirling me around the dance floor making me giggle and people cheer as we go past them. After a few laps around the dance floor the music switches to a slow song and I glance over at the table all my friends are sat at, I’ve kept an eye on it during dancing and Louise did exactly what I asked and somehow managed to give Tucker all her attention without making anything seem obvious now she is sat on his lap and giggling as he whispers something in her ear.
“I don’t know about you but I’m ready to go home now” I sigh happily at Zack and we say our goodbyes. I head over to the table but come to a complete stop when I see Tucker kissing Louise. I know this is what I planned and what I wanted to happen but I didn’t want to see it and I seem unable to tear my eyes away from what’s happening in front me. I have the sudden urge to throw up but hold my stomach and force a smile on to my face as I reach the table.
“I’m heading home now, I’ll leave the key out for you in the usual place guys” I say to Sophie and Matt.
I manage to thank and say goodbye to the whole table without looking at Tucker when he says his goodbye to me I concentrate on the area in between his eyes instead of looking at them directly.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning as I curl up on the sofa and pull my legs under me I use my coffee cup to warm my hands.
I’m aware that I look like crap and got next to no sleep thanks to the nightmares keeping me up most of the night. I suppose they have come back because it’s this time of year again. Twelve years today since my dad died. I’m going to make the three hour drive and go visit his grave today. The only thing is for the last two nights I’ve been having nightma
res now.
Ever since Tucker came back in to my life.
A few moments later I’m joined by Sophie and Matt.
“You’re not still mad at me are you?” Sophie asks worrying her bottom lip, it’s then I realize I’m frowning.
“No don’t worry about it, I was thinking that’s all” I smile weakly at her.
“I know what you were doing last night” She says softly. She never could see past any of my plans.
“I really don’t want to talk about it” I shake my head at her “I have something I need to do today, so I won’t be around. In fact I won’t be back until my shift at the club tonight”
“Umm OKAY…” Matt says looking at me curiously
“Help yourself to food and everything, there are clean towels and stuff upstairs, you know where everything is and I’ll meet you at the club tonight”
“You’re not going to do anything st….” Sophie is cut off when my phone rings and I grab it smiling not needing to check the screen to know who it is.
“Happy Birthday”
“It’s a day late ... but whatever” I smile into the phone.
“Will you forgive me?”
“I love you so you can get away with stuff like that” I assure him
“What time am I meeting you today?” he asks not needing to check if I’m definitely going.
“Umm how about for lunch, I have to be back here by seven?”
“Sure sounds great, can’t wait to see you Brooke”
“Same, I have a lot to tell you” I smile.
“Good night then huh?” he teases
“Well I got drunk” I say not answering directly making him laugh as he hangs up.
“I didn’t know you were seeing someone” Matt smiles at me making me laugh and shake my head as I head upstairs to start the emotion rollercoaster that will be today.
Hey Dad
It’s me again, another year has past without you and surprise, surprise I’m still here and missing you as usual. I won’t say it’s easier as the years go on but I think I know how to handle it a bit better now. I had a good birthday last night, well half a good birthday. Tucker’s moved into the same town as me … and as if that’s not enough he is in a band that plays at my club every weekend. You remember Tucker? he’s the one who broke my heart. But he’s also the one who saved my life. It’s easier to be around him now. I suppose I have you to thank for that in some strange way. Missing you everyday and loving you everyday but not being able to be with you kind of helps me be around him. Sophie and Matt have come up for a visit so I’m sure we will have some fun over the next few days. I wrote mum another letter saying that I was sorry for everything but I still haven’t had a reply. Though I don’t write a return address on them because I don’t want them to know where I live.