by Lori Wilde
“That man . . .” She pointed a finger toward the boat ramp. “That man down there . . . he wanted to force me to give Danny up for adoption. That’s why I ran away. That’s why I married Kevin. That’s why I have basically ignored my father for the last eight years.”
Gideon sucked in an audible breath. “I see your position, but I do think he knows he was wrong.”
“He wanted me to get rid of our baby.”
“And I’m so proud of you that you didn’t do it. God, Caitlyn, you were so brave. I can’t imagine how scared you were.”
“Terrified. I was terrified. Seventeen. Pregnant. I thought the man I loved was dead. My father turned his back on me because I wouldn’t give away our baby . . .” She had to stop talking or she was going to start crying.
Gideon waited. Strong, silent, treelike. It got on her nerves.
“Say something, dammit.”
“When was it going to be the right time to tell Danny about Richard?”
“I don’t know.”
His voice lowered, his eyes took on an expression she couldn’t read. “When’s it going to be the right time to tell him about me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you need to figure it out. Because while I’m not going to be like your father and just spring the news on Danny, I need to let him know that I’m his father.” Gideon’s voice was fraught with feeling. “This is important to me.”
She’d never heard him speak so passionately. She stared off into the field, saw the asphodels nodding in the breeze. “I can’t tell him now. Not on the heels of this new revelation about his grandfather. That has to sink in first.”
“How long do you think he needs? A week? A month?”
“You can’t put something like this on a timetable. I need to see how Danny adjusts. It’s only been seven months since Kevin died.”
“Who’s really having trouble adapting, Caitlyn? Is it Danny, or is it you?”
“What are you suggesting?”
“That maybe this isn’t about Kevin’s death or the fallout with your father or your relationship with me.”
“No?” She was so mad she could snap something into two pieces. “Then you tell me, what is it about? Because I sure as hell don’t know.”
“You’re scared to death of letting Danny grow up.”
He couldn’t have shocked her more if he’d reached out and slapped her. Caitlyn put a hand to her cheek. Was it true? Was she in the wrong? She’d spent so many years thinking—no, knowing—that she was right, that she hadn’t realized she’d become just like her father.
The thought staggered her.
Was she holding on to Danny too tightly, just the way Richard had held on to her? Had she become so entrenched in her position against him that she could see no other alternatives?
“I’m going to go back down there with Danny.” Gideon gestured toward the river. “And I’m going to send your father up here to talk to you, and I want you to work this out, for everyone’s sake.”
It irritated her that he was telling her what to do. It also irritated her that he was right. She blew out her breath, nodded.
Gideon walked to the water and spoke to her father. A few minutes later, Richard walked up the boat ramp toward her.
“Caitlyn,” he murmured.
She forced herself to look at him. His hair was grayer than she remembered, his shoulders frailer, but his eyes were still sharp.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” her father murmured. “I thought once you had your own child that you would understand—”
“You never wanted me to have my own child,” Caitlyn interrupted. “You wanted me to get rid of him.”
He opened his mouth, shut it, and then opened it again. “I . . . I was wrong about that.”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, you were. You didn’t give me any options. You backed me into a corner. You made me choose between my child and you, and it was no contest. I love you, Dad, I always have, but my son comes first. He has to.”
“You . . . you still love me? In spite of what I’ve done?” He looked so sad.
Regret tore at her heart. “Of course I still love you. You’re my father.”
“I just wanted you to go to college. To finish your education so you could have a better life. So you could find a life mate.”
“I’d found him, and if you hadn’t sent him off to war, I would have married him. You cheated Gideon and me out of eight years together, then you did the unconscionable and you had Hiram Malone lie to me, write up a false report. You allowed me to believe that Gideon was dead.”
“Caitlyn, please understand. I wanted to protect you. I would have done anything to protect you. Just as you will do anything to protect Danny.”
“I’d never lie to him.”
“But you’re lying to him already. You’ve not yet told him that Gideon is his father. Why is that?”
“I’m not lying,” Caitlyn denied, but guilt flickered in her heart. “I’m waiting for the right time.”
“Because you want to protect him.”
She nodded.
“A lie of omission is still a lie.”
“I can’t just blurt it out like you just did.”
“And you’re terrified he’ll be upset with you.”
“Yes.”
“Now you know how I feel about you.”
“If you feel this badly, how come you haven’t tried to fix it before?”
He spread his hands. “I’m a fallible old man who’s been too vain to admit it. But I want to change. I want to be a part of your life again. Caitlyn, I miss you. You forgave me in the hospital and now I’m holding you to it. I want to know my grandson before it’s too late. I heard he’s on spring break. Please, let him spend a couple of days with me. I’d like to take him to Fort Worth, show him the stockyards, maybe even take a trip to Six Flags.”
“You? At an amusement park? With a soon-to-be eight-year-old?”
“I’ll take Greta. She’s got two nephews about Danny’s age. He’ll have a good time.”
She was about to say no, she was going to say no, but she turned her gaze to the river, saw Gideon was watching them while Danny fished. His words echoed in her ears. You’re scared to death of letting Danny grow up.
What she said next was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to say. It was a symbolic untying of the apron strings, a letting go of her child, but she forced herself to say it. “If it’s okay with Danny, it’s okay with me.”
Her father’s usually hard face softened. “Caity, darling, you’ve made me the happiest grandfather in Twilight.”
So Caitlyn had feet of clay after all.
Gideon had had her up on a pedestal for so long, it was a bit jarring to see her go off on her father like that, but he also found it oddly encouraging. Caitlyn needed a little dust on her halo. And in contrast, maybe his armor wouldn’t look so tarnished.
On the drive home, all Danny could chatter about was his grandfather. After Richard and Caitlyn had finally hashed everything out, her father had helped Danny catch a ten-pound catfish. He’d promised a fish fry at his house the following evening if Danny wanted to come over and spend the night. Richard told him he was welcome to bring his best friend, Charlie, and they could set up a tent in his backyard.
Gideon was happy for the progress that had been made in the family that day, but if he were being honest, he’d admit that he was also jealous. Now, Danny knew that Richard was his grandfather, but because of that revelation, Gideon had to wait even longer to tell Danny that he was his father.
“Mom?” Danny asked from the backseat of the van.
“Yes, honey?”
“Why didn’t you tell me Judge Blackthorne was my granddad?”
Caitlyn glanced out the window. Gideon could see the tension in her stiff shoulders. This was still difficult for her. “Because he and I have been very mad at each other for a very long time.”
“But you’re not mad at him anymore?”
<
br /> “No.”
“That’s really cool, because he’s got an arrowhead collection he’s going to show me and a Swiss Army knife he said I could have and . . .”
Caitlyn opened her mouth, and Gideon knew she was going to protest the Swiss Army knife, so he beat her to the punch and said, “Apron strings.”
She glared at him and shut her mouth.
It struck him then that he’d become the peacemaker in this family. Funny, he’d never been in the role of peacemaker before, but going to war made a man value peace. He liked this new role. Liked it a lot.
It made him feel productive. It made him feel good.
But most of all, it made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he had a chance to finally wash off the sins of the past and make a fresh new start.
Chapter Sixteen
Traditional meaning of orange lily—hatred, disdain.
By the time they got home from the outing, Caitlyn was too tired to cook dinner. Not to mention she was still a bit miffed with Gideon for siding with her father.
“Call for pizza,” Gideon said, and pressed a twenty-dollar bill into her hand. “My treat. I’m going to swing by the victory garden and install the carousel horses I finished restoring this week. Two down, fifty-one to go.”
“All right.”
“Should I pick up a DVD on the way home?”
“That sounds nice. Movie and a pizza. See if they have the latest Pixar flick. It’s supposed to be a really good one.”
“Will do.”
Gideon left on his errand. Caitlyn called Pasta Pappa’s, placed an order for an extra-large pepperoni pizza, and then sent Danny off for a bath.
The idea of a family movie night had her relaxing and letting go of the negative energy she’d been holding on to since her run-in with her father. She was still nervous about letting Danny spend the night with his grandfather, but it was a step in the right direction. Perhaps the old wounds could be healed.
Caitlyn was setting the table with paper plates and humming softly to herself when a tap sounded at the back door. “C’mon in,” she called, expecting Kenny, the pizza delivery boy.
The door opened.
“The money is right there on the hutch.” Caitlyn turned. “I—”
The words died in her throat. It wasn’t the sixteen-year-old, pimply-faced Kenny Johnstone she was expecting, but rather Bowie Goodnight shrinking her cozy kitchen with his oversized frame.
“Wha . . . what are you doing here?” she whispered, alarmed, blood bulleting through her temples.
Bowie’s face looked chiseled from granite, as did his muscular forearms protruding from the sleeves of his black T-shirt, the material stretched tight against his hard biceps. His eyes were narrow black orbs, his nose hawkish. His sharp-edged smile said that he could have gone fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson and won. And he reeked of bourbon.
Immediately, Caitlyn understood how her hens felt when a raptor flew overhead. Panicked. Terrified.
“Hello, Caitlyn,” he said in a surprisingly soothing voice that only served to unnerve her more. “I’m here to see Gideon.”
“Um,” she said, because she didn’t know what else to say.
“I heard he was living here.”
“Yes. He should be back any minute.”
“Wonderful, you don’t mind if I wait, do you?” Bowie reached over, pulled out a kitchen chair that, in contrast to his bulk, looked like a dollhouse accessory. She remembered the way he’d attacked Crockett in her flower shop the day J. Foster had died.
She didn’t know what to do. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“Nope.” Bowie’s smile, full of malice and disdain, chilled her to the bone. “This is between him and me.”
“Maybe you could come back when he’s here.” Nervously, she shifted her weight, rested her bandaged hand on the counter; holding it down was making it throb.
Bowie’s nose twitched, as if he could smell her fear. “What happened?”
“Huh?” She startled, realized she’d been staring at him as if in a trance.
“Your hand.” He nodded at her bandaged arm. “What’d you do to your southpaw?”
“Gardening accident.”
He laughed as if she’d said something hysterically funny.
Caitlyn gnawed her bottom lip, and then realized that made her look anxious, so she forced herself to stop.
Bowie studied her with interest. “You and Gideon are . . . ?”
“Friends.”
“Friends with benefits?” He arched his eyebrows, smirked, raked a seductive gaze over her body.
She started to ask him to leave, but then another knock at the back door interrupted her.
“My guess is that’s the person you were expecting before,” Bowie said.
Caitlyn ignored that, crossed the room to snatch the money off the hutch, and opened the door. Kenny was waiting with a ready smile. “Hey, Mrs. M—” He broke off when he saw Bowie. “Hey, dude, is that your camo Hummer parked in the back alley?”
“It is,” Bowie said.
“Sweet.”
“Sweet doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Badass?”
“Ten different kinds of badass,” Bowie assured the ungainly teen.
“Dude, my girlfriend would go apeshit crazy if I showed up for a date in that thing.”
“I’m sure.”
Kenny slipped the pizza box from the warming container. She noticed Pasta Pappa’s had changed the logo on the front of the box. For some bizarre reason they’d replaced the original disc shape with an orange lily twined around a slice of pizza. Then she remembered the wife of the new owner of Pasta Pappa’s was named Lily. Inanely, she wondered if she should tell her that an orange lily represented hatred and disdain.
“How much does one of the beauties go for?” Kenny asked, referring to Bowie’s Hummer.
“Don’t know. I inherited it.”
“Awesome!” Kenny’s voice went up an octave.
Caitlyn wished both men would leave her house. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said. “I think I’m going to call Gideon and see what’s keeping him.”
“You go right ahead.” Bowie got up and ambled toward the pizza box. “You won’t mind if I have a piece.” He said it as a statement, not a question. “Want a slice, Kenny?”
“Naw dude, I’m burned out on pizza. Working at an Italian restaurant will do that to you.”
Bowie picked up a slice of pepperoni. His proprietary manner angered her. Caitlyn hurried to the purse she kept hung over the doorknob in the hallway and took out her cell phone. Quickly, she punched in Gideon’s number.
It rang six times and then went to voice mail. Crap.
“Gideon, this is Caitlyn. Bowie Goodnight is here in my house. Just opened the door and walked right in. He says he wants to see you, and by the way, I think he’s drunk.” She wanted to let Gideon know she felt uneasy with him in her house, but she was afraid Bowie could overhear the conversation. “Could you come on home as soon as you get this message?”
She hung up and reluctantly went back to the kitchen. Kenny was still there, peppering Bowie with questions about the Hummer.
“He on his way?” Bowie asked.
“Yes,” she lied.
“That’s good. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
“Which is?” she asked boldly.
“Between me and Garza.” Bowie took another slice of pizza from the box.
It pissed her off that he was eating their pizza, but she was honestly afraid of him and what might happen if she told him to stop.
“Hey,” Bowie said, and wiped a string of mozzarella from his chin with the back of a hammy hand. “This is really good. Got any beer?” He ambled over to the refrigerator, opened it up. “Pizza always goes down better with a cold beer.”
Gideon had bought a six-pack of malt beers a few days earlier. Five still sat in the fridge. Bowie took one, twisted the top off. “You want one? You look like you could use one
. Your forehead’s all scrunched up.” He mimicked her frown.
Caitlyn shook her head.
“You want one?” he asked Kenny.
“Yeah.”
“He’s only sixteen.” Caitlyn glowered.
“Oops, sorry, no can do, kid,” Bowie said in a way that let Caitlyn know that if she wasn’t in the room, he would have given a minor alcohol.
“Well,” Kenny said. “I better get back to the restaurant. My boss keeps me on a short chain.”
“Poor you,” Bowie said, and drank half the beer in one long swallow.
Kenny sidled out the door and Caitlyn tried to think of a diplomatic way of asking Bowie to leave without antagonizing him. It had been a very long time since she’d been unnerved. A couple of years ago one of the Alzheimer’s patients had escaped from the local care facility and come rushing into the flower shop, acting erratic and accusing her of trying to kill him. She felt the same way now as she had then.
Just a minute after Kenny had departed, Gideon came rushing in the back door, a steely expression in his eyes. “Goodnight.” He spat out the name like it tasted bad.
“Well, looky who’s here,” Bowie drawled. “If it isn’t the favored son.”
“Let’s take a walk outside.” Gideon reached for his elbow, but his half brother slung him off.
“Don’t you touch me.”
Gideon got in his face. “Don’t you come threatening me and my family.”
Unexpectedly, Bowie grinned. “Hey, who said anything about threatening you.” He looked over at Caitlyn. “Did I threaten him?”
Gideon tensed. “Outside.”
Bowie looked like he was going to argue, but then he nodded and echoed, “Outside.”
The minute Gideon had Bowie outside the house, he squeezed the other man’s arm with all the strength in his fingers. “Don’t you ever pull any bullshit like that again.”
“What?” Bowie grinned, letting him know the iron-claw grip didn’t faze him. “I just dropped by to see my long-lost brother and have a nice little chat with his gorgeous girlfriend. So sweet and innocent.”
“You stay away from her,” Gideon said.
“Or what? You’ll kill me?” Hatred shone in Bowie’s eyes. “You might as well kill me. You’ve taken the only thing I care about.”