by Nicola Marsh
She sounded so forlorn he couldn’t resist touching her, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder. She didn’t shrug it off, a good sign considering the way he’d doused her enthusiasm.
‘Your dream is my nightmare,’ he said quietly, knowing he had to come clean if he was to have any chance of spending more time with her.
‘You don’t own a house?’ She studied him with an intensity that unnerved.
He shook his head. ‘Plenty of investment properties but not a house I call home.’
‘That’s sad.’
He bristled at her audible pity. ‘I had a home, the one I grew up in, and it sucked. So I promised myself the day I finally escaped that claustrophobic house in a dead-end town, and all the crap it held, that I wouldn’t put myself in that kind of situation again.’
She paused, as if searching for the right words, before finally responding. ‘A house can be a base. A place to put down roots. Nothing more.’
‘That’s bullshit and we both know it.’
Wishing he’d never revealed so much, he ditched his milkshake too and thrust his hands into his pockets. ‘You made some offhand comment about your folks before. And you told me they travel the world. So no prizes for guessing that’s why you want a stable base so badly.’
He didn’t feel bad homing in on her weak spot, if the way she frowned was any indication. ‘We all want the opposite of what we had growing up. For me, that’s freedom. For you, it’s stability.’
He gestured at the bungalow. ‘I’m happy for you chasing your dream, truly, I am. But I see a woman who’s led a quiet life, probably deliberately to be the opposite of her parents, who’s willing to settle too soon before she’s really experienced half of what’s out there.’
He threw his arms wide, knowing he’d said too much when she turned away, but not before he’d glimpsed a sheen in her eyes.
Crap. He’d made her cry.
To her credit, he saw her shoulders draw back and her spine straighten before she turned back to him. ‘And what’s out there, Alex? What’s the big attraction with living out of a suitcase, moving from place to place, never having time to build strong friendships and a steady relationship?’
Feeling like an absolute prick for trampling all over her dream when she’d had the guts to open up to him about it, he said, ‘I just don’t want you missing out on fun before you settle down.’
When anger flared in her eyes, he rushed on, ‘Don’t get me wrong, investing in Sydney property is like taking out shares in a gold mine. But taking on a hefty mortgage at your age before you’ve travelled and done all that exciting stuff is huge and I don’t want you missing out on all that.’
She tilted her head to one side, studying him, and he had an uncanny feeling she could see right through his bullshit.
Because the moment he’d articulated how he didn’t want her missing out on adventure, he’d envisaged her having those adventures with him.
An outlandish thought, so far from left-field it wasn’t funny, but the moment it popped into his head he could see it so clearly. If she’d awakened sexually with him, what would it be like to show her more? To show her the world?
He didn’t want stability but he wouldn’t be averse to having a wondrous woman by his side on his travels.
Ridiculous. He’d known her a grand total of five weeks, four of those via telephone and email.
So why the hell was he contemplating something so bizarre?
Not to mention one salient point.
He’d earmarked her as the new manager for The Number Makers, a secure job that would ensure she could afford the dream house in front of him.
Managerial accountants didn’t throw away their sensible dreams to follow a whim.
Shaking his head to clear it, he reached for her, relieved when she let him hold her hands. ‘You know what? Forget everything I said. Maybe I’m a little jealous, seeing evidence of how much more evolved you are when I’m a thirty-two-year-old wanderer who will never settle down for anything.’
He must have finally said the right thing because the tension from her face drained away. ‘You’re jealous?’
She sounded incredulous, an improvement on the hurt, so he continued.
‘I think so.’ He squeezed her hands. ‘At your age I was still partying hard while building my empire.’
The corners of her mouth quirked. ‘You don’t have an empire.’
He released one of her hands to tap his temple. ‘Up here I do. And it’s a magical place, filled with nubile women and endless dollars hanging from money trees and a dashing, handsome king who does what he wants when he wants.’
‘That’s some imagination.’ Her wry smile lightened his heart. ‘I guess we agree to disagree on what constitutes a future.’
‘Yeah.’ He tugged on her hand, drawing her close. ‘And thank you for showing me your dream. I’m happy for you. And I’m sorry for raining all over it with my bluntness.’
‘I like bluntness, just like you do,’ she said, resting her head against his chest. ‘We don’t have much time together so why waste it pussyfooting around and playing games?’
As Alex slid his arms around her waist and hugged her tight, he got that feeling again. The one he’d had earlier when he’d thought of her living her dream life in this place. Like indigestion burning his gullet, only stronger.
‘We don’t have much time together.’
Usually, he’d be relieved she knew the score.
So what the hell was his problem?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHARLOTTE HAD TO get this relationship back onto familiar footing before she made a complete ass of herself.
She never should have brought him here.
What had she expected? That he’d take one look at her dream house after knowing her for five minutes and fall headlong into her happily-ever-after fantasy?
She was an idiot.
An idiot who now had to distract herself fast before she blubbered all over him.
So she did the one thing guaranteed to get this fling back on track.
Focus on sex.
‘Come with me.’ She grabbed his hand and tugged, half jogging back to the car.
He was only too happy to keep up with her, one of his long strides matching two of hers. This eagerness to pleasure each other was good. It kept her mind focused on the physical, not leaving her much room to dwell on the unanswered questions buzzing around her head like pesky flies.
What had happened in Alex’s past to ensure he never wanted to put down roots? Why did he consider his childhood home and town claustrophobic? Who had caused such emotional damage that at thirty-two he refused to settle down?
And the doozy, why did he have to go and plant that seed of doubt, that maybe taking on a big mortgage before she’d done exciting stuff like travel was a mistake?
She had a goal. A dream. And nobody, especially some charming wanderer, would distract her from it.
She needed this house.
She needed a clear-cut plan for the future.
She didn’t need to be swayed, no matter how tempting the momentary vision of freedom he’d planted in her head.
What would it be like to chuck in her job to go travelling for a year? To not worry about getting up to the annoying buzz of an alarm, to spend her days exploring new cities rather than stuck behind a desk using her mathematical skills, to meet new people and expand her social group?
For those few moments Alex had lectured her about his concern for her settling too soon, she’d envisioned a different life.
It could be wonderful.
It could also result in her ending up like her folks, with nothing to show for their years of work, and there was no way in hell she’d be inflicting that kind of life on her children.
They reached the car and she perched on the bonnet, the metal s
till warm beneath her butt. She took charge, grabbing his lapels and tugging him close, her kiss clumsy but effective as he groaned and nestled between her thighs, the material of his trousers rasping against her skin in a delicious chafe.
She decided then and there to frame this dress.
‘Let’s get inside the car,’ he murmured, nipping her earlobe before sucking it into his mouth and toying with it using his tongue.
She shivered at the sensation flooding her body and wrapped her legs around him in response. ‘No. I like feeling this...exposed.’
He grinned, his teeth almost luminous in the moonlight. ‘A risk-taker, huh?’
‘Only with you,’ she said, meaning it.
For a guy she hardly knew, Alex made her feel safe in a way she never would have thought possible.
It took her ages to warm up to people usually, which explained why she hardly had any friends.
Mak had been her flatmate, and so overtly exuberant and friendly that Charlotte had eventually had no choice but to let her into her heart. Abby had been Mak’s friend, a co-worker initially, and it seemed inevitable that the three of them had started hanging out.
She missed Mak terribly, but didn’t begrudge her friend chasing her dream to dance on Broadway. She missed Abby too, considering her job at Le Miel and her sexy man Tanner kept her too busy to hang out as often as they used to.
Maybe that was why she’d let Alex into her life so quickly? Loneliness. Then again, she’d been lonely for most of her life courtesy of her inherent insecurities, so maybe she was grasping at any excuse for her wanton brazenness when it came to this man?
‘You’re killing me, sweetheart.’ He rested his forehead against hers. ‘I don’t have another condom on me.’
For a second she contemplated saying screw it, but her rational side wouldn’t be denied. While she hadn’t slept with anyone in years, a guy who looked like Alex who embraced a wandering lifestyle certainly wouldn’t have been celibate.
‘I’m clean, in case you were wondering,’ he said, as if reading her mind, ‘but I don’t do unprotected sex.’
He hesitated, as if unsure whether to say more, before adding, ‘I don’t see kids in my future so I won’t risk it.’
As if she needed another reminder of why they could never be anything other than a short-term fling. But knowing they could never be more than this and having it shoved down her throat were worlds apart.
She could have pointed out that condoms weren’t foolproof and considering she wasn’t on a contraceptive—she’d need to have regular sex to consider it—they were playing Russian roulette every time they did the deed.
But this wasn’t the moment to lecture. She needed to stop the questions pinging in her brain and sex with Alex was guaranteed to do that.
‘We can do other stuff,’ she said, with a coy toss of her head, a move she’d never tried in her life but which seemed to work as his gaze brightened.
‘We could get arrested for public indecency by doing other stuff out here.’
She didn’t want to explain that she came here every night to stare wistfully at her dream house and no one else ever did, so she unwound her legs and slid off the bonnet.
‘There’s always the back seat?’ She raised an eyebrow in invitation and thankfully he didn’t need to be asked twice.
‘You’re incredibly naughty,’ he said, opening the door and waiting for her to scoot across the seat before joining her. ‘I like it.’
He closed the door and activated the locks, his gaze inscrutable in the darkness as clouds scudded across the moon. ‘Lie back.’ His command held a hint of desperation, like he couldn’t wait to go down on her.
‘No.’
She needed to be in control this time. She needed to prove to herself that she had a handle on this thing developing between them because, deep down, their connection was more than sex and they both knew it.
Scooting closer, she placed a hand over his zipper and the sizeable bulge beneath it.
His sharp intake of breath hissed out slowly as she eased the zipper down, the rasp of metal teeth unlocking the only sound in the car.
‘Charlie...’
She had no idea if his warning growl meant stop or hurry up so she reached inside his jocks and wrapped her fingers around velvet steel.
‘Fuck,’ he muttered as she took him out and slid her hand up and down experimentally, getting a feel for what he liked by listening to the changes in his breathing.
When she brushed her thumb over the head he jerked slightly.
‘You like that?’ She did it again, savouring the power that came with making a man like Alex needy.
‘I like everything you do to me,’ he said through gritted teeth as she squeezed harder.
‘Good,’ she said, leaning forward to lick him.
His hips lifted off the seat slightly. She took it as a good sign.
She’d never done this before and while she had reservations about putting something so big in her mouth, she wanted to experience everything she could with this incredible man.
Tentatively she wrapped her lips around him. He tasted musky, almost sweet, and she lapped a little. He moaned again and rested his hand on her head, his fingers twining in her hair a little.
Emboldened, she took him deeper into her mouth, as far as she could without gagging, leaving her enough room to fit an entire hand around what was left over.
No surprise why he felt so damn good inside her.
She started to move, slowly at first. Sliding him out of her mouth and back in, her fist moving in synchronicity.
He liked it, if his low groans were any indication. She liked it too, liked lapping him, licking him. Her very own Popsicle. She almost giggled at the thought but didn’t want to kill the mood. Or choke.
Besides, giving her first blowjob was having an unexpected effect on her. She’d never expected to be this turned on.
She shifted restlessly and, as if sensing her need, he leaned sideways and slipped a hand between her legs. It wasn’t the most comfortable positioning, being squished into the back of a car, her knees on the floor with her head in his lap, him half draped along the backseat, one hand on the back of her head, the other doing wicked things between her legs, but they made it work.
As he zeroed in on her clit and rubbed it, she automatically picked up the pace, sucking harder as her head bobbed and her hand pumped.
His hand tightened on the back of her head, tugging painfully at her hair. She didn’t care, as the pleasure built from his other hand’s ministrations. Pushing her higher, faster, than ever before until she fell over the edge into blissful oblivion.
With a garbled cry he followed, the heat of him in her mouth like nothing she could have anticipated. It was so damn sexy.
After unkinking their bodies like a couple of contortionists, she sat next to him, content to rest her head in the crook of his shoulder.
‘You’re incredible,’ he said, turning his head to brush a kiss across her forehead. ‘And just full of surprises.’
‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’
Her flippant response lost some of its impact when she ended on an embarrassing hiccup and he eased away, searching her face for some clue as to her emotional state.
Good luck with that, she thought, as she had no idea how the hell she’d ended up here, in the back seat of some hot guy’s car, giving him head when she wanted to give him her heart.
But she couldn’t and that ensured there’d be more focus on sex, less dwelling on things she couldn’t have.
‘What’s wrong?’
He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. Not that he’d be able to read much in the dim interior. She’d never been more grateful for clouds covering the moon in all her life.
‘Nothing.’
‘You know I’m going to ke
ep pestering you until you tell me, right?’
Already feeling too fragile, she couldn’t withstand an interrogation, so she settled for a half-truth.
‘That’s the first time I did that and I’m wondering if I was okay.’
She only just heard his muttered, ‘What the fuck?’ as he swivelled to face her completely.
‘You mean...’ He cleared his throat, more stunned than she’d expected. ‘That was your first blowjob?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She shrugged, as if it meant little, when in fact she was more than a little curious to hear his evaluation.
Not that she wanted a score, per se, but a little feedback wouldn’t hurt for future reference.
‘Babe, what you did with your mouth and your hand...’ He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. ‘Phenomenal.’
She grinned like he’d presented her with a gold medal for fellatio. ‘Really?’
‘Really.’ He grinned back at her and at that moment the clouds cleared the moon and she spied a glint in his eyes in the resulting light flooding the car. ‘Though maybe I should lie and say you were average, which means you’d need to do a hell of a lot of practice?’
‘I’m sure I could find willing subjects for that,’ she deadpanned, unprepared for his hand to shoot out and tweak her nose.
She squealed and swatted him away, but they ended up mock wrestling and laughing and falling on top of each other.
‘This is nice,’ she said, when they finally drew apart to catch their breath.
‘Us being in the back seat?’
‘Us playing and swapping banter after sharing something intimate.’ She laid a hand on his chest. ‘I never expected to feel this comfortable about sex, especially after not knowing you that long, but I feel good being with you like this.’
‘Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.’
He enveloped her in a squishy hug and while she knew his endearment didn’t mean much, in that moment, in the circle of his arms, her heart squirming with neediness, she wished it did.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ALEX DROPPED CHARLOTTE back at her car at work, followed her home to ensure she got there safely, then slunk off into the night like a goddamn coward.