* * * *
Charles's sister, Mary, and his mother spread their soothing influence at the tea table, and I began to feel less harried and more aware of the others. Bevis was flirting with Cecilia. Outrageously. He did not, of course, neglect to cast his spell over Charles's other ladies, and I perceived that Charles was not blind to their preenings either. Something would have to be done--by me. I felt a wave of competency sweep through me. I would set things to rights.
After tea we rambled through Hazeldell. It is a Queen Anne house, not large but lovingly cared for for a century--just enough time for the wood to glow and the colours to soften and for all the shrubs and trees to look as if they had been there since the Creation.
I could see that Cecilia liked it and that Willoughby was startled out of his fixed sneer. There was no doubt that Hazeldell was a gentleman's residence. The relics of the Tudor manse, a plan of the maze, an Elizabethan carving, a stiff, varnished portrait of a gentleman in a ruff--all underlined the point that the Whartons had held the manor forever.
Charles was not a wealthy man but if there were a question of eligibility it must lie with Cecilia's family, not his. All this nonsense I could see going through three heads at once--Charles's, held unconsciously higher; Cecilia's, her eyes well opened; and Willoughby's.
Willoughby's eyes narrowed, and he commenced to look almost worried. Had he counted on this visit to Charles's home to place Charles outside the pale? Perhaps. I suspected the effect would be to make Cecilia look at Charles for the first time and really see him.
Tschaa! Disgusting. I have a soul above such considerations as bloodlines and ancestral halls, I told myself, thinking of Clanross's sarcasms about money and feeling half amused and half sad. Cecilia would make Charles an impossible wife. And I would make Bevis an equally impossible one. It crossed my mind that perhaps Cecilia would suit Bevis better than I would.
Did he really wish to marry me, or had he merely been overcome with nostalgia? I was convinced he meant to wed, for he had sold his commission, but the question was, whom? Me? Cecilia? Any suitable youngish woman? I left Hazeldell feeling rather cross.
On the way back Bevis honoured me with his company, leaving Willoughby and Cecilia to take the lead.
"Lovely to see you, my lord," I said affably.
"And you, my lady."
We indulged for some time in our usual nonsense and talked of Hazeldell and the Whartons. Finally I said, "You're driving Charles wild with jealousy, you know."
He didn't pretend innocence. "Will he call me out? Scalpels at a hundred paces?"
I smiled.
Bevis was regarding me with curiosity. "I do not, I take it, drive you wild with jealousy."
I laughed. "Shall I gnash my teeth?"
"Did you throw Miss Conway-Gore and me together deliberately?"
I was so startled I reined in. "What are you suggesting?"
He pulled up, too, and the gelding danced. "I collect you thought Willoughby had brought her down to entangle Tom, but you must have known she'd bore him. She bores me," he added, unsmiling. "Her mother heard I was home and paraded her before me at Christmas, but it didn't take. She has nothing to say for herself."
I opened my mouth and closed it again. I am rarely caught with nothing to say for myself. I set my mare walking.
"You're avoiding me, Liz." He sounded angry. "Again."
"I don't mean to, truly, Bevis. I asked you to come because I thought Willoughby's company wouldn't sit well with Clanross."
"That's nonsense. Tom can reduce Willoughby to mincemeat whenever he chooses."
"But I didn't know that."
"Did you not?"
I had known it or at least suspected it. "I wanted your company myself," I said, exasperated.
"That won't wash either, my lady. You've spared me precisely seventeen minutes alone since I came."
"You were so absorbed in Cecilia's charms..."
"And you in your blasted telescope."
We glared at each other.
Presently, he began to grin. "We're both jealous. Hurrah!" He let out a whoop and set his gelding caracoling all over the lane to the disapproval of a passing carter.
"Bevis, stop it," I cried, breathless with amusement and something less easily defined.
He pulled up, obedient. "Marry me?"
"Oh, Bevis. Yes, very well."
"D'you mean it, Liz?"
"I--yes, I think so."
He let out another whoop, and the carter turned around to scowl at us. "Wait till I tell the governor. By Jove, Liz, that's something like!"
"Bevis, don't tell Dunarvon. Not yet. Please."
He looked sulky.
"Give me some time to accustom myself to captivity before your kin descend on me."
He softened. "My poor idiot, if you wish. My lips are sealed. You don't mind if I tell Tom, do you? He won't peach."
In fact, I didn't want him to tell anyone, least of all Clanross, but I realised Bevis was being generous. "Very well," I said with a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Bevis, you didn't lay a bet with Clanross?"
He looked shocked. "I ain't one of your hey-go-mad twenty-year olds, Liz. I gave up that sort of nonsense years ago. Besides," he added, spoiling his touching portrait of mature virtue, "I dashed well wasn't sure of the outcome."
I laughed at that, but the laughter rang hollow. Giving up my freedom was not going to be easy. Perhaps Bevis sensed my discomfort, for he did not teaze me further, and we rode along quietly, Bevis whistling from time to time and I thinking.
* * * *
I did not go up to Brecon for dinner. Bevis was disappointed, but I wanted to use the telescope as soon as it was dark enough. There would not be many opportunities to do so in future. That argument silenced his objections.
I thought I wouldn't be able to concentrate, but I did--for more than six hours. When I finally stumbled down, yawning, Harris was blue with cold and boredom, and my sketches and calculations covered sheet after sheet of paper. If only there were some way to fix what I saw on canvas.
I mused on the impossibility of an instantaneous sketching machine as I went up to my room. The water in my jug was icy. The bricks in the bed had long ago cooled. I scrambled under the covers and lay there shivering, still thinking of the stars, when suddenly, sickeningly, it occurred to me that I was going to be married. I fear I cried myself to sleep.
* * * *
I woke impossibly early. I must have slept two hours at most. The birds were chirruping. Dawnlight filtered through Brecon wood, dispelling the ground mist. A scattering of daffodils starred the grass. Nature, at least, had no doubts about my nuptials.
It was far too early for breakfast. I dressed in boots and walking skirt and went for a long ramble. I circumnavigated Brecon--no mean distance--and it was still barely half-past seven. I could tell, because the Brecon grooms had just begun to move about the stables, and smoke issued tentatively from various chimneys. The dew was on the grass, my boots were wet, and I wanted tea. I decided to invade the Brecon kitchens, which were closer than the Dower House.
I startled the chambermaid, Molly, so that she let out a small shriek. "Lawks, my lady, you're up and about early."
I forced a smile. "So are you, Molly. May I beg a cup of tea? I went for a long walk, and I'm chilled."
"Oh, yes, my lady. I was just set to brew his lordship a pot, seeing as how he's been at work in the estate office this past hour."
I asked cautiously, "Is that his custom?"
"He's an early riser, sure enough. Would you be wanting toast or anything, my lady? I'll light the breakfast-room fire."
"No. No, thank you," I said hastily. "As his lordship's up and about I'll take a cup with him in the estate room."
"Very good, my lady."
I did not relish facing Clanross or any of the Brecon party, but it would be inconsiderate to require special attentions for myself. I went up to the east wing and knocked at the estate room door, feeling glum.
"
Come in, Molly," Clanross said absently. "Set it on the table over there." He was frowning over a pile of papers and didn't raise his eyes.
"Molly will be up directly," I said in a small voice. "May I take a cup of tea with you?"
He set the papers aside and rose. "By all means. Good morning." If I had startled him he hid it well. Nor did he say the equivalent of lawks, my lady, you're up and about early. Perhaps he thought it wouldn't be tactful. More likely he didn't want me to return the compliment.
The morning light in the estate room was almost too bright. It picked out the bones of his face with ruthless clarity. He looked ill and tired. I sat in the chair he pulled out for me.
"I'm glad to see you alone," he said. "I've been meaning to ask you whether you'd object if I drained the lake."
I gaped. "Why?"
"I want to swim in it, and I don't fancy entangling myself in half a ton of duckweed."
"Good God." I thought of Charles's strictures on a mere horseback ride and couldn't help laughing.
Molly knocked. Clanross, who was still standing, held the door for her and I composed myself. "What are you going to do with that?"
"The lake?"
"The toast." Molly had made a veritable mountain of toast.
"File it."
"Feed it to the ducks," I said firmly.
"Before or after I drain the lake?"
"A home question." I dolloped sugar in my tea and stirred thoughtfully. "Do you think you ought?"
He took a sip of tea. "We don't want hungry ducks nibbling about."
"I meant, as you well know, ought you to try so violent an exercise as swimming so soon?"
"Soon!" He stared at me over the teacup. "You've been talking with Wharton."
"He is anxious lest your injured muscles tie themselves in permanent knots."
"So am I," he said shortly, "but I fail to see how setting in like a cabbage will avert that."
I frowned. "I have to agree with you, but neither of us is trained as a physician. Charles is."
"He's an old woman."
"I wonder why it is that men express their disapproval of other men by maligning the female sex. If you wish to be told to exert yourself and to stop mooning about like a mollycoddle, go see Aunt Whitby. She is an old woman."
His mouth relaxed in a wry grin. "My thirst for punishment isn't that great. You have a wonderful gift for evasion, ma'am. I asked you whether I might drain and clear the lake."
"My Lord Clanross, it is your lake. Do as you will."
"It may be my lake, but Quillan's waggon will creak by the Dower House dripping mud on the drive for days. Not to mention the carts of fresh gravel. Does that give you pause?"
"It wouldn't if I thought you should bathe in the lake."
"I'd prefer a dip in the Mediterranean to immersing myself in your papa's ornamental water, I admit, but I intend to swim in the lake."
I sighed. "Couldn't you charter a yacht at Lynn and sail to the Mediterranean?"
He shuddered. "If you'd witnessed my last sea voyage, you wouldn't make such a callous suggestion."
I flushed. "I beg your pardon. I didn't think. It must've been dreadful."
"If being seasick from the Bay of Biscay to the Southhampton Road without intermission is dreadful, it was."
I laughed. "I see I must withdraw my objection. By all means, drain the lake but when Charles catches you at your paddling please don't let him know I'm an accomplice."
"A bargain. Is the tea cold?"
I refilled his cup. We drank our fresh tea in companionable silence. My mind drifted to my observations of the night before. It was just possible that I had discovered a comet. I needed more time to be sure. Would the weather cooperate?
"Bevis tells me I have to offer him my congratulations," Clanross said quietly.
I jumped and blushed scarlet. "I don't want it announced yet, Clanross."
"He swore me to secrecy. Will you forgive the partiality of a friend if I congratulate you?"
"Thank you," I murmured, wishing other people's reactions were going to be as kind. "May I ask a favour of you?"
"Of course."
"Will you see to my telescope? It's a remarkable instrument. One of the finest in the nation. I should dislike to think of it lying neglected."
He regarded me with an odd expression in his grey eyes. "Do you mean to give it up?"
"I don't know," I said unhappily. "Bevis would feel some sympathy for my continued studies, I think, but I'm sure Lord Dunarvon would dislike it of all things. He abhors what he calls eccentricity, especially in females."
Clanross looked as if he wished to say something but kept his silence for a long moment. Finally, he said lightly, "I'll see to your telescope--and to your sisters, too."
Again I flushed, this time with guilt. I hadn't given a thought to Jean and Maggie. "Shall you send them to a school?"
"No. Miss Bluestone is a superior teacher. Besides, your sisters like it here, or so they tell me, and I don't wish to uproot them. I may bring the little girls south, too."
That startled me. "You don't object to uprooting them?"
He frowned. "There's a nurse, is there not, a Miss McKay..."
"Mackey. She nursed all of stepmama's babies."
"I thought if she came with them, they might not find the change too unhappy. They should be with Jean and Margaret."
In theory that was a good idea. I did not care for the thought of bevies of brats tearing up the Dower House, but I didn't wish to figure as the dog in the manger, either. It would be my Dower House no longer. "You are persistent."
"I beg your pardon, Elizabeth. They're my wards, and I have a duty to them, but the matter need not be rushed."
"Do you think they're unhappy in Kitty's household?"
"I saw very little of them. I thought you might give me an opinion, for you visited them at Christmas."
I toyed with my half-empty cup. "They seem happy enough, but I can't approve their manners, and I fear they're very ignorant. Fanny doesn't yet read though she's turned eight."
He considered that and seemed about to speak again but refrained, looking troubled.
"It's kind of you to concern yourself for them. I daresay Papa didn't mean to stick you with the lot of them."
He raised his brows. "I was charged in specific terms with their education."
"Good heavens."
He smiled at my surprise. "And I was to consult you."
"Papa put that in the will?" I felt as if, belatedly, my father had given my bluestocking quirks his approval, and I was dumbfounded and touched. For a moment I could not speak. "You must have been surprised to find Jean and Maggie running wild."
"I thought perhaps your educational theories were influenced by M. Rousseau."
"Noble Savages?"
"Just so."
I laughed aloud.
Clanross smiled but did not push the matter further. We talked lightly of one thing and another. Presently I left, feeling much more cheerful, and it did not occur to me until I had eaten breakfast at home with the girls and written up half my observations that I had forgotten Charles's injunction. I ought to have scolded Clanross about the laudanum.
One thing did penetrate my self-absorption. Whatever his physical state, Clanross was chafing at his confinement. Beneath the quiet demeanour, he seethed with impatience. To be off? I didn't know. The thought was disturbing.
* * * *
I continued my work with the telescope for the next three nights--the weather held that long--so I did not rejoin the party at once. Bevis called on me in the afternoons and we talked in a not very convincing way of our plans. He would ask his father's permission to marry me after Lady Sarah's wedding in May--less than two months off, I realised in a near panic.
Bevis did not drop Cecilia with a thud. That would have been unkind and obvious. Willoughby would certainly have noticed, and neither of us wanted Willoughby to announce our betrothal to the World. Besides, Bevis is far too softhearted t
o hurt any woman's feelings.
By the time the skies clouded over and I rejoined the Brecon dinners, however, Charles was in the ascendant with Cecilia, Willoughby was well-nigh dead of boredom, and Alice, who is not stupid however hard she may try to appear so, had noticed Bevis's change of tactics. It was only a matter of time before her curiosity overcame her and she sought me out for a little private chat. I was glad she still slept at Brecon.
Chapter 13
Much of the routine of the house party in those weeks excluded Clanross. I knew he worked on estate matters every morning and that he had a wide correspondence to deal with, but it did not occur to me that he meant to do anything active with his time. The morning he took the carriage to Chacton I was startled and annoyed. He was bound to suffer from the effects of jolting over bad roads. I scolded Bevis for it before the carriage was out of sight, and he laughed and teazed me about my nursemaid propensities.
When he saw I was truly upset, he said seriously, "It's a good sign, you know."
"Charles says..."
"Oh, Wharton." Bevis dismissed Charles's expertise airily.
"Clanross is Charles's patient."
Bevis just shrugged.
That evening, though, even Bevis could see that Clanross's venture had been ill-advised. Clanross did not come down to dinner. The ladies had withdrawn and the gentlemen rejoined us before Clanross put in an appearance.
Willoughby was teaching Alice a new variation of Patience, with myself as advisor. When Clanross drifted over from the spinet, at which Bevis and Cecilia were occupied sorting music, Willoughby looked up at him irritably.
"For heaven's sake, Clanross, stop towering over us."
"Sorry." He sat in stages, as he had done weeks earlier. It was clear he was stiff and in pain, and I was too exasperated to hold my tongue.
"I trust Mr. Chacton is grateful for your condescension."
"We had business."
"He could have come here."
"My word, yes," Willoughby interjected, scenting a quarrel. "Toasts! Speeches! Debits and credits! How could you deprive us?"
Clanross gave a wry grin. "It went against the grain." He straightened incautiously and winced.
Alice fluttered, distressed. "Are you in pain, my lord?"
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