by Tiffany King
He wrote examples on the chalkboard of what kind of information we should include on the sheet that was handed out. He was currently a student at UC of Santa Cruz, and had gotten his masters degree the year before in physics, and was finishing up his PH.D. The next item he added was that he was interning at the school for his thesis, but it was the last bit of information that created a buzz among the students, his date of birth. It didn’t take a math genius to figure out that he was only eighteen.
The rest of the class passed in a blur for me as I tried to come to terms with what it all meant.
I had never even looked at another guy, let alone fantasized like this. He was practically an adult for goodness sake, although he was, only a year older. Still, I wasn’t the type of girl to chase after some guy, especially a teacher. I was ashamed with the way I was acting. There must be a simple explanation for my reaction to him.
The bell rang.
I looked at the empty paper in front of me and crumpled it into a ball.
Sam and I stood up together and filed toward the front of the room. Sam dropped her paper off on his desk while I threw my blank one away. We were the last two in the room, and as we passed him on our way out, I vowed to ignore him and kept my eyes firmly on the ground as I shuffled out of the room.
I felt a slight pressure in my hand as I passed by him. I looked and was surprised to see a folded up paper in the palm of my hand. He had passed me a note taking care to not to touch my skin. I looked at him one last time as I left the room, and was surprised at the expression on his face.
He seemed pleased, like he knew something I didn’t.
Sam looked intrigued as we walked down the hall.
“What was that all about?” She asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied, slightly embarrassed. “I felt a connection like when you and I met, but a hundred times stronger. I was drawn to him like I have never been drawn to anyone else. Strange, isn’t it?” I asked, not sure what Sam would think.
Sam looked thoughtful, like she was trying to figure something out. “Yeah, it is strange,” she said at long last.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. I went through the motions, but my mind was lost, wrapped up in thoughts about him.
I had always thought the idea of love at first sight was silly, but there was definitely something irresistible about him, and not just because of his strikingly good looks. This was something kindred, my hand still tingled from his touch, and I had an odd warm sensation throughout my whole body.
This is crazy, I thought to myself. It would never work. First of all, my mom would freak if I came home and told her I wanted to date an intern teacher from my school, and second, the school would obviously not allow it.
“Krista, are you there? Hello, anyone in there?” Sam asked, snapping her fingers in front of my face.
I shook my head to clear away his image. The last bell for the day must have rung, because only Sam and I remained in the classroom. Even the teacher had left the room.
“What a wasted day of school that was,” I muttered to Sam, as we gathered our books and headed out the door.
“Missed homeroom, neglected to do the assignment in fifth period, and then proceeded to sit through the rest of the day like a zombie. My mom would be real pleased if she heard how my day had gone,” I said with disgust ringing in my voice.
“Hey give yourself a break, first days are always tough. Take it from me; I’ve had plenty of first days.” Sam said, even though she seemed to sense there was more to it than first day jitters.
“Did you ever read that note he passed you?”
So, Sam had seen him pass me the note.
“No, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.”
“Why not?”
“Because, you saw what happened in there, he’s an intern. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t check out guys, and I don’t act like he’s the only person in the world in front of a bunch of people I’ve never met.”
“Well, you may not, but it’s hard to deny that something happened in there. We may have just met today, but I could tell you felt something in there. I think you should read the note, he obviously felt it too. He looked like he had been hit by a truck when he first saw you.”
I thought about Sam’s words, she was right. I should at least read his note. It had been burning a hole in my pocket the whole afternoon.
With shaking fingers, I pulled the note out of my pocket and stopped walking to read it. Sam stepped discreetly away, sensing that I needed a moment by myself to read it.
I smoothed out the creases of the note before I read it, dragging out the procedure while I mentally prepared myself. My heart skipped a beat at the words written on the paper.
We need to talk. I know you’re confused, I can explain everything, meet me at the park after school.
Love always M.R
My heart started racing. What could he explain? What did he know that I didn’t?
“Are you going meet him after school?” asked Sam, reading the note over my shoulder.
“I don’t think so.”
“Seriously? Why not?”
“Because I’m confused, I don’t know what to make of all of this.”
“Can I come over to your house?” Sam asked suddenly.
“Sure.” I said surprised. “My mom won’t be home until later, she wanted to drive to some art supply store she heard about. She left me pizza money; you can eat over if you want?”
“Sure,” said Sam. “Your mom’s an artist?”
“Well, no, but she’s going to try her hand in it. She’s taking a year off from work to dabble in it. My dad left us enough money for her to try new things.”
“That sounds great,” said Sam with just a tinge of envy in her voice. “It sounds like you two are close.”
“They were there for me when I needed them the most. Once the judge had officially cut all the red tape after I was found, and allowed them to adopt me, they were ecstatic. They officially adopted me the day I turned six, and it was a great birthday present.”
Sam’s face took on a shocked expression.
“You were abandoned?”
I could have kicked myself, after years of keeping my abandonment a secret from everyone, I had let it slip out with someone I had just met. Of course, I felt a kinship with Sam, but I still couldn’t believe I had let my guard down.
“I was found at a rest stop when I was two,” I answered uncomfortably.
“I was put in foster care when I was two,” Sam said in a voice laced with surprise.
“You were?” I asked, not quite believing her. Was Sam some kind of freak that made things up to make herself seem more interesting?
I felt myself freaking out. I couldn’t help feeling like someone was playing some kind of joke on me, first with Mark and now Sam. I would have believed that this was their idea of a good way to torment me if Sam didn’t look as surprised as I felt.
Sam must have felt the same, because she looked at me to see if I was pulling her leg. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“No, I wish I was. All of this is wigging me out,” I replied.
“Well to tell you the truth, I’m relieved. We can be freaks together,” Sam said, trying to lighten the mood.
I smiled a half smile. It was hard not to respond to Sam’s positive attitude. I had always been the glass half empty kind of person, but Sam was obviously a glass half full person.
We walked the rest of the way to my house in silence, both of us lost in the thoughts that were circling around in our heads.
By the time we reached my house, we both were sweating slightly from the short walk. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed two waters and two chocolate bars. My mom bought chocolate candy in bulk for me. I often joked that a candy bar a day, kept the doctor away. My mom had given up years ago, and as long as I brushed my teeth twice a day, she kept me stocked with chocolate.
I handed one of the bars to Sam, who was studying all the family pictures around our smal
l house.
“My mom loves to take pictures,” I explained. “She hates photo albums though, so most of our pictures wind up in a frame, or get thrown into a box.”
“That’s me right after they found me,” I said, when I noticed Sam studying a picture of me where I was crying. My mom had told me that all I wanted to do was sleep. I never had to ask why, I already knew, he had been in my dreams, even then.
“I’m hungry,” I said, changing the subject. “Let’s order the pizza now, and listen to music upstairs while we wait for it.”
After ordering the pizza, we headed upstairs to my domain, which was more like a loft than a full upstairs. It was narrower than the space below, and consisted of my room, a bathroom, and a small sitting room between the bathroom and my room. The only other door upstairs of course, led to the hall closet that I kept mistaking as the bathroom.
“This is pretty,” Sam commented, as we settled into the chairs in the sitting area.
“Thanks. My mom and I wanted to make it a comfortable, soothing space.”
We had worked hard to create just the right look. We painted the walls a nice warm taupe that glowed when the sunlight hit them and placed bookshelves from floor to ceiling around the room for the many books we had both read over the years. In between the bookshelves we placed framed posters of some of our favorite books. The frames were made from the same tasteful wood as the bookshelves. We searched high and low for the two comfortable lazy boys that sat in the middle of the room. Both of us could read for hours, so we wanted to be comfortable. The last touch was a sturdy table to sit between the two chairs. We liked to snack while we read, so having a durable table to hold our drinks was a must.
“I’ll put some music on,” I said. “Do you have any preference?”
“No. Anything is fine.”
We listened to the music and talked until we heard the doorbell ring. After paying the delivery guy, I grabbed a couple sodas, and some paper plates and napkins.
We ate in silence, enjoying the cheesy pizza with its hearty sauce. Finally after dinner, Sam looked at me with a serious look on her face. “I’ve been putting off mentioning this, but I think we should make a list of things we have in common,” she told me. “That way, we’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”
I had to agree with her. I had been trying to ignore it all day, but it had become glaringly obvious that Sam and I shared some kind of link. I grabbed a notebook and started taking notes on our commonalities. Sam filled in the ones I had forgotten, making a point to mention our common defective “emotions,” as she liked to put it, of course I still didn’t believe that her emotional “madness” was the same as mine. Finally, I set the pencil down. “I think that’s it.”
“You forgot the biggest one,” Sam said quietly.
“What’s that?” I asked, looking up in surprise, I thought we had them all.
“You forgot to write down the dreams,” Sam said in the same quiet voice.
“What dreams?” I asked, suddenly starting to feel panicked.
“The dreams we have about the guys?”
“How do you know about that?” I asked, standing up abruptly, suddenly very angry. The notebook slid off my lap and landed on the floor at my feet. I gave it no notice, as I felt the emotional wave approaching.
“I think you should leave,” I told Sam, trying to fight down the nausea. I didn’t know what kind of game Sam was playing, but I wanted no part of it. The anger began to engulf me; I knew I was on the verge of getting sick.
I rushed into my bathroom and threw-up immediately. It had been a long time since my emotions had made me sick enough to throw up. The retching finally ended as the waves receded. I rested my forehead weakly against the cool porcelain on the side of the tub.
I felt a cool cloth being placed on the nap of my sweaty neck. I wasn’t surprised that Sam had stuck around. Though I tried to convince myself that she was playing some kind of game, I knew we had far too much in common to be just a coincidence. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know, it wasn’t Sam’s fault.
Sam handed me a glass of water. I looked up to see her studying me.
“I’ll teach you how to fight the sickness back,” she promised.
I just nodded my head weakly, not surprised that Sam somehow knew how to fight it off; she seemed so much stronger than me. She helped pull me into a standing position. My legs felt like cooked spaghetti, but I thought I could make it to one of the chairs. Sam took my arm and helped me settle into the chair.
“I know about your dreams because I have the same ones,” Sam said, with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you sick.”
“How did you know that I had the dreams?”
“I didn’t know when I first met you. I suspected it after I saw your reaction in class today, but I knew for sure after I read the note.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, more confused than ever. “What happened in class for you to suspect it, and why did the note convince you?”
“Because, I’ve been in your shoes before, I have the same dreams as you, and I felt the same way when I met the boy that had shared my dreams my entire life. Through all my crummy foster homes, he was always there for me, and when I met him it was like I had been hit by lighting.”
“You’ve met your dream guy?” I asked surprised, not because she had dreams like mine (which was crazy), but because she made it seem like our dream guys were flesh and blood.
“You’ve met yours too. Surely you knew as soon as you saw him today, that he was the one?”
I shook my head in denial. “I’ve never seen his face though, how can you be so sure it’s Mark?”
“Have you ever reacted like that with anyone else?” she asked, incredulous.
“Well no, but how do I know it’s not just a normal reaction? He is attractive. You saw how all the other girls were ogling him,” I said, trying to take just an ounce of crazy out of this situation.
Sam sighed, “Krista, come on, do you really believe that? If I’m right, that’s what Mark meant in his note. He can explain. He already knows who you are. That’s what I think, and he knows it. Think about what he wrote in the note. He’s your dream guy.”
Dream guy. I rolled the words around in my head. I had always hoped the dreams meant something, that I would someday meet the guy of my dreams. Could all of this be real? I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe it. We weren’t some characters in some B-rated Sci-Fi movie.
“Are you feeling better?” Sam asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“I’m going to call my foster dad to come get me so you can rest,” Sam said. “I really am sorry, I know how badly you’re feeling. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I know it’s freaky, but I am glad that I’m not alone.”
“It all just seems so strange, that all of us would meet on the same day,” I mused, almost to myself.
“It is strange, but to add more craziness to this whole mixture, when I woke this morning, I had the strangest feeling that something was going to happen today.”
“What do you mean you felt something?”
“I don’t know, I just felt an odd sense of anticipation I guess, like a premonition or something,” Sam said as she dialed her foster dad’s number. She rattled off the directions to my house for him and then hung up. “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes,” she said, perching on the on the edge of the other chair to wait.
While we waited, we discussed our common bond a little bit more, but didn’t mention “dream guys” again. My emotions were a wreck and I needed time to allow them to recover.
Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.
I was feeling a little better, so I walked Sam downstairs.
I opened the door to a distinguished looking gentleman. He was of medium height, but seemed taller by the well cut suit he was wearing. With just a few gray streaks through his hair, I would guess him to be about my mom’s age.
I heard Sam groan, obviously wishing he wouldn’t have added that last part, the pained look on her face made that clear. I smiled; I could relate.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay,” Sam said, giving me a quick hug.
I locked the front doors behind them and headed up to take a quick shower before bed. I paused by a table at the foot of the stairs to scrawl a quick note to my mom.
Mom had a great day at school. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow morning. Love Ya.
I knew I was taking the chicken’s way out, but I wasn’t ready to face my mom. I had already decided that I was going to keep her in the dark as much as I could. I was sick of being the constant source of worry for her. It was time for her to have the freedom to focus her energy on things that mattered to her, instead of always having to worry about my problems.
It dawned on me as I headed upstairs that I didn’t even ask Sam about the guy that was supposedly her dream guy. I hope he wasn’t some freak that had preyed on some young girl who might have confided in her dreams, too. I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Sam’s theory was wrong? I felt a wave of grief approach at the thought that Mark was just a regular person. I didn’t want to admit it to Sam, but a small kernel of hope had awakened in my heart that Mark might somehow be the person I had been dreaming about for years.
With a million thoughts swirling through my head, I twisted the shower nozzle all the way to hot. The hot water helped to ease away the chills that always followed an attack. Once my shower was over, I blow dried my hair and put on warm comfy pajamas before I headed to my room.
I took a few moments to give Feline the attention he craved. After petting him for a few minutes, he settled down on the bed beside me. I reached over and flipped off the lights. The emotional upheaval of the day had left me exhausted and I fell into a quick slumber.
I knew I was dreaming. It was the same as always. I walked to the edge of the tide line where we always met. He was already there waiting in the shadows, but as I approached; he stepped out of the shadows for the first time. My breath escaped me. How had I missed it? Of course I knew him. Hadn’t he visited me every night? Wasn’t it his hand that I had held thousands of times in my dreams? Even though I had been expecting it, I was unprepared for the emotions that assaulted me when our eyes met. All I could think was, IT’S HIM.