When he had her in his arms, he had felt… whole. For the first time in a very long time, he could see a future that wasn’t full of death and disappointment. He should have known it wouldn’t be so simple… And the thought of those bright eyes going dull made him feel sick to his stomach. He turned away, hating himself. His wolf snarled and snapped and growled. But what was he going to do? Put Bethany at risk? No…He couldn’t do that, not even for Lizzie.
“I’ve been told to make it look like an accident,” Kavan continued, sounding like he had sold his soul. “And with the lake here… I guess that’s not going to be that difficult.”
Philip whirled on him, a fist raised and ready to fly before he managed to stop himself. “Nothing is happening here,” he snarled. At the look on Kavan’s face, he added, “not while my daughter is here. She has grown fond of Lizzie and—”
“She’s not the only one.” Kavan’s nostrils flared, letting Philip know that he could smell the human on him, then a regretful look came over his face. “You can get Bethany and take her away from here. I’ll… do what’s necessary. And I’ll make it quick, I promise. I’ll…”
He trailed off, his head hanging. Because they both knew that no matter what he promised, a death was still a death. Quick and clean might be better than slow and messy, but he was still going to kill her.
Philip wanted to kill Kavan for that. He wanted to burn down the family, to destroy every person who could possibly be a threat to Lizzie. His wolf boiled just under the surface and if it would have helped, then he would have killed Kavan right there and then. He didn’t care how much the other wolf shifter looked like he hated himself for this. That wasn’t enough.
If it wasn’t for the knowledge that there was nowhere he could run from the family, no way to protect Bethany from them if he killed Kavan, he would have.
“Philip…” Kavan’s voice was so soft Philip could hardly hear it. “What else can we do?”
Nothing. There was nothing they could do. The family had to be satisfied. The godfather’s orders had to be fulfilled. Philip turned on his heel and headed back to the cabin, feeling like the weight of the world was on his chest, making it impossible to breathe. His mind raced wildly as his wolf kept urging him to turn and rend Kavan limb from limb. He had to put that from his mind; he had to think if there was going to be some alternative.
When they got into the cabin, Lizzie was sitting on one of the hard wooden benches. Bethany was beside her, curled under her arm as Lizzie read her one of the ‘boring’ stories. The purse sat on the floor. Philip’s throat tightened at the sight of them. When Bethany was old enough to figure out what he did, what the family was, she was going to remember this. And she was never going to forgive him.
Even if it’s for her safety.
“Beth, it’s time to go home,” Philip said, trying to force his voice to be upbeat and cheerful. “Uncle Kavan says that the painting is done, so now we can get back to school.”
Bethany wrinkled her nose. “I don’t want to go.”
He expected Lizzie to say something, to make some protest, but she only closed the book quietly. She blinked rapidly, looking at the floor, and he knew she knew. His stomach twisted tighter, and his heart felt like it weighed a ton. He could actually feel it splintering; at that moment, he knew that he wasn’t going to survive this anyway. Not stay the same person he was, anyway.
As soon as he got home, he would call up Melodi. She might be a cop, but cop or not, she was a good person. And he was going to ask her to adopt Bethany. She’d be able to protect his daughter. To keep her away from the family.
“Kavan is going to take you home,” Philip said, turning to Bethany again. “Lizzie and I are going to stay here and clean up.”
Kavan gave a start. He opened his mouth but closed it again when Philip sent him a death glare. He bowed his head for a moment before nodding.
Bethany grabbed Lizzie’s hand. “I don’t want to go!”
“You need to get back to school,” Lizzie spoke this time. Her voice was thick, fearful. Tears started to stream down her cheeks. “You have to study and learn lots and make something of your life, okay, sweetie? Be a good girl. I’m going to miss you.”
Bethany sighed, her shoulders sagging. “But I don’t want to go.”
Did some part of her know, too? Philip couldn’t speak, but Lizzie quietly urged Bethany to go get her things. When she was out of the room, Lizzie looked back at him. The fear increased in her eyes, and he couldn’t hold her gaze.
Kavan touched his arm. “Phil—”
“Some things a man has to do himself,” Philip snarled back. “But get Bethany away from here.”
***
Why did they have to go home now?
Bethany stuck her lower lip out as she carried her backpack out to where Daddy, Lizzie and Uncle Kavan waited. Her stomach twisted and her chest felt weird, like someone was sitting on it. Lizzie tried not to show that she was crying, but even though she wiped them away, Bethany saw the tears going down her face. So why was she crying?
She said she was going to miss her, and maybe that was it. Bethany took the smallest steps possible, though. Tears burned in her own eyes and she had the worst, most awful feeling that this was the last time she was ever going to see Lizzie. She wanted to look to Daddy to get reassurances that Lizzie was going to come to see them soon, but the look on his face made the feeling in her chest even worse.
When Uncle Kavan put a hand on her shoulder, her wolf snarled. She pushed it off, then turned on her heel and rushed back to where Lizzie sat on the bench. She threw her arms around her, holding tightly. Sobs threatened to rip through her lungs, even though Daddy said that she was too big to cry like that anymore.
“I don’t want to go,” she said again.
Maybe if she said it enough, they’d let her stay here. With Lizzie. With Daddy smiling. They could go running through the woods and go swimming and they wouldn’t have to go back to the smelly city. Even if Bethany was a little bored with having only the same baby books to read, even if she did want to go back to school and even if she thought there ought to be a TV around here somewhere, she didn’t want to go back if Lizzie wasn’t going with them.
Lizzie hugged her back tightly. “I know, honey,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to go, either.”
That must be why she was crying. Because she was going to miss her.
“You have to go, though,” Lizzie continued, and Bethany’s hopes were dashed. “You have to go, and you have to be good, okay? And… And remember that I love you, okay? Remember that.”
Bethany didn’t want to let go of her, but Uncle Kavan was there, slowly peeling them apart. He held Bethany’s hand as he led her outside, toward the car. Daddy didn’t look at her as he promised that they’d be back soon. Why wouldn’t he look at her?
Soon, too soon, Bethany was buckled up in the car and they were driving away. She toyed with the stuffed rabbit she always brought with her when she had to go somewhere else quickly. There was a time when she thought that all she needed to be home was her rabbit and her father. Now, she wasn’t so sure. She sighed as she looked out of the window.
“Uncle Kavan?”
“Yeah, squirt?”
He always called her squirt. “I wish Lizzie was my mom.”
Why did he flinch like that? She stared at the reflection she saw of him in the mirror. He didn’t say anything. Her wolf sat on its haunches and let out a mournful howl. And that was how she knew for sure.
She buried her face into her bunny and began to sob.
Chapter Six
If she could just get herself to move, then maybe she could get into the kitchen. Grab a knife and defend herself. Slash through Philip’s throat, or at the very least cut him enough that he would be too busy taking care of his injuries to be able to chase her as she went off into the forest. But then how would that help her? She would get lost in no time flat and he was a wolf. Shifters healed far faster than humans, and he’
d be able to sniff her out.
An engine started outside. There was still the truck. Philip had the keys in his pocket, but if she fought back, then she would be able to get those keys and drive off. That left the other man, Kavan, but he wouldn’t do anything with Bethany right there… would he?
Or would he figure that she had killed Philip to get away, and get rid of Bethany as a witness?
Philip stayed standing where he was, staring down at her with those deep eyes of his. She wished that she could make herself move. To run or attack or something. Anything rather than just sit here, waiting for him to kill her. Maybe it was some sort of instinctual thing, that the wolf won’t pounce unless you run, she didn’t know.
She wished she could be angry. Hateful. Furious. She wished that the desire to kill would raise up in her as the sound of the engine faded away. If not that, then at least fear. Terror was so strong that she would react blindly and maybe not see the final blow. Something that would blank her mind out from what was happening.
But she didn’t. She didn’t feel anger or fear. All she felt… was hurt. Betrayal so deep it was like the knife (would he use a knife) was already in her. Tears kept sliding down her cheeks, soundlessly, as she waited.
He opened his mouth but didn’t speak. His shoulders seemed to sag to the floor as he looked back, standing as still as anything. Maybe there was regret in his eyes, but she wasn’t going to believe what she thought she saw. Because she had believed him long enough. How stupid must he think her? To believe that he was a CI and that the murdered man had been a partner, that Kavan had been there to kill him.
Had he been laughing at her this whole time? Had he thought she was a stupid, stupid person? Was that what made her the type of virgin he craved?
Oh, God. The betrayal sunk even deeper, twisting in her heart painfully. She might have spiraled into her instant regret earlier, but now… now she knew she deserved that regret. She had believed his lies and had given herself to him. Was that what he had been waiting for? Did he want to seduce her before he killed her? Was he really and truly a psychopath?
She wet her lips, intending to plead, bargain, bribe. Everything that made sense for her to do. Instead, “Is it coincidence?”
Philip stared back. He must not have understood her.
“That he showed up after last night.”
That made Philip break eye contact. He stepped to the side and sank into one of the chairs, which had a cushion on it. The hours she had spent making sure that all the metal containers that she stored her comforts in were secure, so this could be a proper retreat, seemed so pointless. The hours she had spent washing everything to get rid of the musty smell that came from being stored for so long… each second felt like a slap in her face.
But she wanted to know. She wanted to know if it was coincidence or if he had planned it all. She wanted to know if the look on his face now, the one that spoke to hesitancy and regret, was genuine.
“Well?” she demanded, leaning forward.
Her movement surprised herself. The wild thought came to her that maybe she could jump up and run to the kitchen now. Grab the butcher knife and go all out on this bastard’s face. She remained rooted to where she was, though. Her eyes narrowed but they didn’t move from his face. Now he didn’t look at her, staring instead at the floor.
“I…” He didn’t have the confidence in his voice that he normally did. “I didn’t… I didn’t know he’d come. Last night. I didn’t know that… today would happen.”
Was she relieved to hear that? Hopeful to hear the pain in his own voice? Was she going to go quietly into the lake and drown herself? If she believed that he didn’t want to do this, could she believe that he wouldn’t? But he would. He had to, for Bethany’s sake. That was clear to see. If he didn’t, then Kavan would kill him and then what would become of her?
Her voice was so quiet when she spoke again, she almost didn’t hear it. “What are you waiting for?”
Philip leaned forward, hiding his face from her.
The waiting was almost worse than the thought of him killing her. Especially after last night, when he had given her everything she had denied herself, when he had been so gentle with her afterward, giving her more than she knew she wanted.
“I thought that Varton being your cousin and him being mated to Melodi would protect you. I thought that they’d be formidable enough that the family wouldn’t want to touch you, for fear of them coming down on us.” He looked up, looking drained and pained. “I thought that if I convinced you it was… other than what it was, then maybe I could keep you quiet. Keep you from telling anybody what you saw. I thought that would be enough for them.”
She almost laughed. “You were very convincing. I wasn’t going to tell anybody, not even Melodi. I thought that if I did, it would put you and Bethany at risk. And I… didn’t want that.”
“For Bethany,” he said, almost choked.
Would it be easier for him to kill her if she said yes? Some part of her wanted to do that. Make it easier for him, so he wasn’t going to have to face so much pain and guilt after he did it. Her chest felt like someone was tightening a corset around it, one with nails facing inward. More tears fell down her face.
“For both of you,” she whispered. If she was going to die, then she needed him to know exactly what it was… she needed to figure out exactly what it was for herself. He flinched and she couldn’t decide if she was guilty or vindictively pleased about it. “I… was… just as worried… for you.”
Philip let out a shuddering breath. He lifted his head, eyes so full of apology that she had to look away.
She didn’t want to hear whatever it was he was going to say. “So, what was it really about? Who was that man?”
“You mean the dead one?”
The image of those glassy eyes flickered through her mind and she had to choke back bile. Was that how she was going to look? Would he throw her into the lake, to be eaten by the fish? Would anybody ever know what happened to her, or would she just be one of those people who disappeared without a trace, never to be seen again?
“His name was Craig. He had turned against the family. I was assigned to take him out.”
And he did it in his own house? Where his daughter might see?
As if reading her mind, he shook his head. “Kavan and I were working on tracking him down when he showed up at my place. I wasn’t supposed to be home that day. But Bethany was. I’d made arrangements to have her stay home from school, and a neighbor to come over to watch her. Craig somehow knew. When he saw it was me and Kavan, he tried to run. We killed him. Then I went out, to get what we needed to make sure his body was never found again.”
She flinched, thinking about the plastic rolls and other things he’d had in his truck. When he mentioned renovations, she thought that was all for that. He must have done that on purpose, she realized now. Thrown that out before she could get suspicious.
“Craig,” she managed to get out. “Was he talking to the police?”
“No. A rival family.”
A rival gang he meant. They could bury it in all those fancy words and the images of well-dressed gentlemen who just happened to get their hands dirty from time to time. But murder was still murder. Crime was still crime. Her hands started to clench, the anger she had wanted to feel finally welling up in her.
She wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye to Varton or Melodi. Her parents. It was going to devastate them. They had tried so hard to have a child, and they had always let her know how much she was cherished. And Philip was going to take her away from them so easily. And Bethany? He had said he wanted a different life for her, but what was he doing to take her away from this one?
A fit of vicious, hateful anger overwhelmed her. She clung to it because it burned away the pain. “You don’t deserve to be a father.”
Philip flinched. He let out a breath, sounding almost… relieved. Was he glad that she was angry? Was her spitting out these accusations going to make it
easier for him to kill her? Should she be begging and pleading? Would that stop him?
“Bethany is a kind, sweet child. She deserves far more than you’ll ever be able to give her,” Lizzie continued. She didn’t care if her accusations were going to anger Philip. She just didn’t care. Nothing she said was going to change his mind, she knew that. He was too stubborn and too deep in the mafia to go against what he knew. But maybe, just maybe, he already had enough doubts that she could convince him to free Bethany. “You know that it’s true. This whole mess started because someone was going after her to get to you.”
Another flinch, but this time his voice whipped out, low and furious. “Everything I do, I do for her. Everything.”
Lizzie almost laughed at that. “Everything? How was seducing me for her?”
“I didn’t—”
“You did! I told you no. I told you that I didn’t want to give into those desires. I told you. And you pushed it. You kept coming onto me until it was just too strong for me to say no anymore. How is that not seduction? You stripped away my barriers one by one until I gave you everything.” The anger was still there, but the betrayal, the hurt, was returning. She choked on it, spat it out between her words, but it was there, rising higher and higher until the tears streaming from her eyes blinded her. She hunched over, hiding her face from him. Would he strike while she was like this, unable to see him, and so unable to fight back? “I gave you everything. How is taking that and then murdering me for Bethany’s benefit.”
Silence.
It went on so long Lizzie almost became impatient with it. Slowly, though, her tears lessened, and she looked up. Philip wasn’t looking at her. He was still in the chair, but his face was twisted away.
“I’m trying,” he whispered. “I’m trying to…”
The Wolf’s Surprise Babies Page 7