by K. M. Scott
“It’s fine. The laptop is in the living room. I’ll grab it for you,” I said, moving to the stairs.
Jordan and I could both use a little while to cool down anyway. I knew she wouldn’t like me walking away from the argument like that, but I needed to take a minute to do like my parents used to or one of us might say something we’d regret later.
I walked downstairs with my sister to the living room where I’d left the laptop. I quickly closed the open windows and passed it to Denise.
As she pulled out a flash drive from her pocket and began typing, she looked up smiled. “So now that I finally have you alone, how are you?”
Her question was innocent enough, and maybe it was my own guilt over our current situation that made me suspicious, but something in Denise’s voice told me she knew things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows for Jordan and me right now. Then again, the argument moments before might have given her a clue.
There were a lot of possible answers to her question, and all of them seemed to race through my mind at once. The only appropriate one seemed to be, “I’m good. Things have been a little hectic lately, but when aren’t they, right?”
As the hollow platitude escaped my lips, it felt stupid and forced. Worried that my sister would pick up on this I tried to change the subject, “How about you? Anything exciting in your life?”
Denise continued to type as she answered, “I guess hectic is a good enough word for it. Claire and I broke up and that put me in a weird spot for a while.”
Claire? Who was Claire? Obviously she had been important because the shadow that crossed Denise’s face when she said her name was dark and instantly recognizable.
It suddenly dawned on me how much I had missed being away for all those years. Sure, I had made the correct number of phone calls, but I hadn’t really been there for anyone.
Quietly, I said, “I’m sorry Denise. I know that pain and I know the place it puts you in, but I also know you’re tough as nails.”
It felt like the cliché it was and not nearly as useful as I wanted it to be. I wanted to be supportive, but with everything that was going on, I didn’t know what to say.
“Ha! Tough as nails. I thought so too. A few weeks of not managing to get out of my pajamas most of the time proved that wrong, didn’t it?”
Her voice had a bitter tone, and it hurt to hear her speak like this. Denise was a realist, for sure, but there had always been a big optimistic streak in her. At that moment, I was having trouble finding it.
“Denise, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to drag up any old feelings.” It wasn’t my intention to keep hurting the women in my life, but it seemed to be a pattern today.
She finished typing and closed the laptop sharply. “It’s nothing to dwell on. I can’t fix anything that way. Besides, we aren’t talking about me right now.”
Sensing that I’d touched a nerve, I reluctantly allowed her to turn the focus back on me. “Sure. Though I think you’ll find my life is as uninteresting as always,” I lied.
“Oh yeah? Says the guy who mysteriously shows up after a decade with a beautiful woman on his arm, only to whisk her away to the cabin right after we meet her,” Denise said with that same edge as when she talked about her ex.
“What can I say? I’m selfish like that. I want to keep her all to myself.”
It was beginning to be more and more difficult to keep my family out of what we were dealing with, but they had no part in it. Then again, neither did Jordan or I, but we didn’t have any choice. For now, we had to deal with it. My family didn’t, and if I could keep them out of the whole mess, I would.
I guess the tug of war in my mind showed on my face because Denise quietly continued, “What’s going on Gage? I haven’t seen you this upset since mom said you couldn’t date that Landers girl.”
A nervous laugh escaped me. That had been one hell of a fight. If only yelling was an appropriate reaction now, but that wouldn’t solve anything and would likely make my sister think I’d lost my mind.
“It’s Jordan. She’s in trouble, but it isn’t her fault. She got mixed up with some bad people and I had to get her away. But I know she’s innocent. That’s why we’re here. She needs to stay hidden until we can get all of this sorted out.”
As I explained what I’d kept from her and the rest of my family, the weight of the secret lifted from my shoulders. Nothing I said sounded like it conveyed the seriousness of what we were going through, though, and I hated how it sounded like I was making excuses for Jordan.
Denise furrowed her eyebrows. “You mean that woman? The one we met? She doesn’t seem like the kind of person that gets in with a bad crowd, Gage. She seems like someone who avidly avoids that, in fact. I mean this in the nicest way, but she’s pretty boring from what I saw. I think that’s good for you though, so don’t take any offense.”
I shook my head, “That’s just it. She isn’t the type at all. I mean she’s a school teacher, for God’s sake. That’s why she needs my help. If they find her…I don’t know what they plan to do, but I know it isn’t in Jordan’s best interest, and therefore isn’t in mine.”
My mind flashed to a dark place where I imagined what Hailey and Justin might have in store for her and my fists instinctively clenched as my jaw did the same. If they hurt her, I’d kill them. I didn’t want to think like that, but no one would hurt Jordan again.
“Well, fill me in. How can I help?” Denise asked.
“I don’t know if you can help. I don’t know if anyone can.”
I hung my head as the truth of those words hit home in that very moment. Who was going to help us? Up until this point, I had a plan, but now I felt like everything was happening so fast that the plan had gone out the window. Where could we go? The cabin was safe and secluded, but other than a remote island I couldn’t afford, where would be safe for Jordan?
My sister shook her head. Never one to give up on a problem, she probed for more information. “So why are people after her? Does she owe someone money?”
The thought of Jordan being in trouble because she owed someone money was comical. If only it were that easy.
“No. I told you she’s innocent. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on yet, but Jordan seems to just be a pawn in it all.”
“Ok, so if she’s innocent, what are you hiding from?”
Denise was always a bit too pushy and that was evident now more than ever. It annoyed me to have her keep pressing with questions when what I really needed was some support. Denise was never the type though. She would give you a shoulder to cry on, but there would be lecture involved as well.
“You remember I told you Jordan and I were together before, but we broke up?”
“Yeah. You were really torn up about it.”
There was an understatement. It had taken me months to try to get over Jordan just to realize it had never really been a possibility for me.
“Well, the reason I left her was because I started getting these letters. I didn’t know who they were from, but they all had the same message to deliver. Stay away from Jordan or else.”
The memory of those letters, of having to leave Jordan, came back like a crashing wave tearing through me. Sure, I’d left to protect her, but in doing so I had hurt her, had hurt us, immeasurably. I should have just stayed with her and defended her from whoever was sending those letters. Instead, I let her fall into their trap and now she was paying dearly for it.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Gage. You were trying to protect her, right?”
“Right…not that it worked, clearly.”
“Gage…”
“I know, I know. It’s just…”
I couldn’t help myself. I had to tell someone, and with every word it was like the magnitude of the situation settled in. Up until this point, everything had happened so fast that sitting down and recapping it made it real for the first time. After what seemed like ages, I finished the complicated story and sat down on the couch exhausted from it all.
>
Denise sat quietly, her eyes only a little wider than they normally were. She took a moment to absorb everything I had told her and finally said, “Wow, Gage. That’s a lot. Honestly, I think it’s more than I’ve ever heard you say at once. So what are you going to do now?”
She stared at me as if I would just magically know the answer after telling her the backstory. Nothing had made sense until this point. What made her think I would suddenly know now?
I looked down at the wood floor, wishing I knew the answer to that question. What were we going to do? I had been so upset at the idea of Jordan thinking I couldn’t protect her, but deep down it was my worst fear, and it was starting to seem more and more like a reality. I had gotten us this far in one piece, but we couldn’t stay in the cabin forever. I wish we could. Jordan and I holed up in a cabin or an apartment, hell anywhere would be fine as long as I knew she was safe and happy.
“We have to keep her hidden until my guy can get things sorted out. Once all the dust settles, there’s no way anyone will be able to say Jordan’s guilty of anything.”
I knew if we could just get all the facts and connect the dots before someone found us, there was no way a judge or anyone else wouldn’t see that she was the victim in everything that had happened.
Denise sat quietly and seemed to choose her words carefully. “I know you love her, Gage, but have you considered this situation she has gotten herself into could get you seriously hurt? Is she really worth it?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
I didn’t like what she was saying. None of this was Jordan’s fault. All she had done was found someone new and tried to secure a halfway decent future for herself. My glare must have spoken volumes because before I had the chance to say another word, Denise corrected herself.
“Hey, I’m sorry. That was uncool of me to say. I guess going through a bad breakup makes you think less of love as a whole. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Denise offered apologetically.
She looked nervous, like she worried I would explode in anger any second, and though I wasn’t pleased, I knew she was just trying to look out for me. She might know a little of our history, but I’d glazed over the great parts. It was a natural reaction, after all. If she knew the best parts about us, she would understand that nothing I could ever do would be enough for how much I loved Jordan.
I had too much on my mind to sit around being irritable with Denise. “It’s fine. I get it. But trust me, she’s worth it.”
My tone was final as was the discussion as to whether or not Jordan was someone I’d risk my life for.
“Then you must really love her.”
Of course I loved her. In my mind, it seemed like I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t love her. There had been other women, and I’d even thought I was in love once or twice, but Jordan was the only one who ever made me feel like I couldn’t imagine a time without her. Even on the run and unsure of what would happen next, having her in my life again was better than the alternative.
“Well, I want to marry her, so yes, I do,” I answered, worried my sister’s reaction wouldn’t mesh with the positive opinion I had thought she had of Jordan.
Her eyes grew wide. “Wow, Gage. I had no idea. I mean, you clearly love her, but I didn’t think there was a girl out there who could get you to settle down.”
I smiled as for the briefest moment everything felt normal. I was supposed to be sitting in the family cabin telling my sister how I wanted to marry the amazing woman upstairs. Jordan should be getting to know my mom and listening to old stories from my father, not upstairs scared and alone.
“It seems like you’ve got a bit of a mess going here. I believe it isn’t her fault. After all, look at her. She doesn’t look like she could kill a spider. I just hope you can find a way out of this mess for your own sake. You deserve a happy life, not to be caught up in this nonsense.”
It felt nice to have someone concerned for me, but even though I knew she wanted the best, all I could keep thinking about was Jordan. My safety was inconsequential compared to hers.
“Thanks for talking to me, Denise. I needed to tell someone about all this. I just hope it’s all over soon so I can go back to living a happy life with her.”
“I hope so too, Gage. I hate seeing you so worried.” Denise stood up and patted me on the shoulder. “Be safe, big brother.”
My sister left me alone in the living room trying to come up with any solution to our problem. That was difficult to do considering the woman I was fighting for was also the woman I was fighting with.
I finally decided I couldn’t sit on the couch any longer getting lost in my head. Action needed to be taken, and the first step was solving whatever issue was keeping Jordan away from me. Her behavior had been erratic. One moment she was wrapped around me as we made love, and the next she was running away to another room to escape me.
Surely she couldn’t believe getting closer to me again was a bad thing. I had left her, but Jordan knew I only did that to protect her. I had been wrong to do it, but it wasn’t my intention to hurt her. How could I make her see that? How could I make her understand that I could protect her?
Whatever it took, I needed to make her understand she could believe in me.
Chapter Nine
Jordan
It was so unfair that such an amazing moment had been ruined by yet another argument. It was my fault, I knew that, but as I stepped out onto the balcony off the bedroom and stared at the rolling mountains in front of me, the solution seemed to be as far away as the horizon. The obvious answer was to simply tell Gage the truth, but how could I do that now after I had lied?
This always happened to me. Every single time I had ever tried to lie it had always just blown up in my face. One would think I would learn eventually, yet here I was wringing my hands and trying to find a solution to an overwhelming problem.
It wasn’t that I wanted to keep lying to Gage. All I wanted was for this whole terrible situation to be over so I could enjoy the moment where Gage would propose, instead of running away from him in fear.
I wanted to be able to let him get down on one knee and stand there overcome with joy at the idea of being his wife. Instead, I had no choice but to flee from the very idea. This was supposed to be one of the best memories we would share in our lives together. It was supposed to be a story we told friends at the engagement party and to our children one day when they were old enough.
It was not supposed to be a moment that made my stomach twist into knots. If Nina’s lawyers could get fix this any minute now, that would be great. If we could figure out what the hell was behind this whole mess, that would be even better.
Then my life could return to normal and I could actually enjoy things like being around Gage and his family. This whole trip should have been so different. If his family found out what was going on, they would probably think I was a mess and way too much work for their son. At that moment as I stared out toward that distant horizon, it didn’t seem like they would be too wrong in thinking that. I was becoming far more high maintenance than I ever intended to be.
It felt like Gage was downstairs with Denise forever, but he deserved a break from all of this. Hopefully, talking to her would help him calm down. I also hoped that talking to her didn’t make me look too bad. Surely she’d heard us arguing. Otherwise, why would she have come upstairs? This wasn’t the image I had hoped to cultivate for Gage’s family and getting caught arguing with Gage sure wasn’t helping things.
This was as much her cabin as Gage’s, but I didn’t appreciate the idea of his family members strolling around up here while we were hiding. Didn’t that defeat the entire purpose?
I hated putting Gage through all of this. The guy rescued me, did everything to protect me, and now I was lying to him. The charade couldn’t go on much longer before what we had was damaged too much.
As all these thoughts swirled around in my head, the door opened and Gage came back to the room. When he spoke
, his tone was measured, but there was an undeniable sharpness that lay just underneath.
“Jordan, we can’t keep doing this. I know you don’t think it’s true because of what I did in the past when I left you, but I can protect you and you have to stop pushing me away. How can I help you if you’re always keep me at arm’s length?”
His sudden accusation stung and I spun around to face him. The stress of the past few days had left me irritable and I responded with more anger than I truly felt in my heart.
“You know? Do you? Well, you’re wrong Gage. I don’t hold it against you! I’ve told you that.”
He didn’t deserve that from me, but with everything that had happened, I was sick of feeling meek and frail. If he only understood that I knew he could protect me, that I trusted him, and that I loved him so damn much.
“That’s bullshit Jordan.” The words came so fast and it hurt to know that he so readily thought I was pushing him away.
“I don’t. I love you Gage. You know that,” I answered. If only he could understand that it had nothing to do with him or what he did in the past. It was just that, the past! I had no doubt that Gage could protect me. I mean, here I was, protected and safe because of him far up in the mountains away from anyone who wanted to hurt me.
“How can you say you love me when you’ve clearly become more distant? We make love and then next thing I know you’re running away from me. That doesn’t seem like love to me,” Gage said, the pain in his voice evident.
“Gage, I promise you that I do love you. That isn’t why I’m being distant.” I said, knowing that wouldn’t fix a damn thing. It wasn’t like I was going to be able to tell him the real reason why I was acting the way I was.
“Then what is it Jordan?” he fired back, abandoning any hope of staying calm.