by Abi Ketner
Cole clears his throat and tightens his grip around my waist.
Grace and I release each other.
“I think Sutton’s plan is going to work, and we’ll all be together again real soon,” Cole adds.
No one responds. Everything is silent except the waves against the beach and the seagulls overhead. Cole’s words hang in the air like the smell of stale bread.
Inside, everything is quiet and amplified at the same time. The boards creak beneath my feet. Zeus has somehow made his way back into the house without anyone noticing. The couch squeaks when he jumps onto it. Grace takes a position by the back door.
“I’m going to make us something to eat before we head out to find another safe house,” Cole says. “Why don’t you wash up and get changed.”
“Into what?”
“Sutton left us clothes. He said they’re in the bathroom.”
I look over at Grace, who nods in approval. I stink.
“Okay.”
I examine my shredded shirt and blood-soaked clothes. I had completely forgotten how I looked in the midst of everything. And Sutton still hugged me despite it.
“Make sure to leave us some hot water,” Cole says. He smiles and rubs my back before going into the kitchen.
I pull myself up the stairs and into the tiny bathroom, where the toilet is so close to the shower I can barely sit on it without my knees touching tile. Sure enough, clothing sits on the sink in several piles.
I turn on the water, and after waiting for it to warm up, I step inside. Dried blood swirls down the drain, turning pinker by the minute. When finished, I pull on a small, black cotton t-shirt with dark green cargo pants in my exact size. The socks are what bring me the most pleasure though. As I slide them on, my feet celebrate their warmth and cushiness.
“Much better,” Cole says when I reach the first floor.
“Except for the bags under my eyes.”
“God, I hate seeing you so exhausted.”
“I’m gonna try to eat something. Maybe that will help.”
Cole playfully smacks my ass as he passes me going up the staircase. “I’m gonna jump in the shower. But if Zeus starts acting up, come get me.”
“I will,” I say. “Hey, let’s not leave him behind anymore.”
“We’re not,” he says. “He’s the best weapon we have.” Cole takes the steps two at a time and disappears after the landing.
In the living room, Zeus sprawls out on the couch, sound asleep. He snorts, sneezes, and then rolls onto his back with his legs straight up.
I pick up a plate of canned beans, canned hot dogs, and canned peaches Cole prepared for me. When I lived in High Society, we always ate well. On the run, you eat what you can find—things you may never have considered eating before.
“Wake up,” he says. I hear him laughing through the fog of my head. “Only you.”
“Few more minutes,” I mumble, turning my head away from his voice.
“I’m afraid if you sleep any longer, those beans stuck on your forehead won’t come off.”
“Ew, what?”
“You face-planted in your plate.” He wipes a damp cloth over my face, and I sit up. Food tumbles into my lap. I give Cole a dirty look, and he laughs.
“I’m glad you don’t have a camera.”
“Oh, but I’ve got a great photographic memory.”
“Of course you do.” I lean into him, and he gives me a sweet kiss on my lips. Now, I’m awake.
“Why didn’t you just lie down with Zeus?”
“Have you seen him? He’s a bed hog, and wasn’t it obvious I preferred my plate?”
“And you’ve got hot dog up your nose,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes. He bends down to kiss my head.
“Shut up. I do not.” But of course, I feel my nose, making sure he’s just playing with me. I snatch his napkin and wipe my face just as I notice the dim lighting. “How long was I asleep? Where is Grace?” I look around.
“You’ve been out for two hours. Grace is outside patrolling the perimeter.”
“And you let me sleep in my food?”
“I tried to pick you up, but you kept smacking me. So yes, I left you there,” he says. “Any sleep is better than none, right?” But he’s smiling as he says it.
I groan as I stand up and stretch. The muscles in my neck feel like one tight knot.
Without warning, Zeus hops off the couch and begins pacing the room. He whines, and the hair on my neck rises.
“Maybe he’s gotta poop,” Cole says, but I know he doesn’t really think that. He raises an eyebrow.
“When was he let out last?” I ask.
“A half an hour ago.”
But Zeus’s whining grows louder and more restless. The fur on his back shoots up, making a dark track down his back. My insides jump.
“Nope, that’s not it,” Cole says. His jaw’s clenched, and I grit my teeth.
I run to the window. Cole grabs his gun, and I tug the blinds an inch to the left so I can see outside.
Just then, Grace comes tearing into the living room, gun drawn. Her eyes are wide with fear. “Someone’s coming,” she says.
“How many?” Cole asks. He presses himself along the wall next to me. “How far?”
“One car, and not far enough,” Grace says.
“Okay,” Cole says. “You guard the back door. Lexi and I will take the front.”
“Got it,” she says. I watch as she sprints down the hallway, and then I lock eyes with Cole. He presses his body against mine so he can whisper in my ear. “You and me, remember?”
I nod.
My body’s shaking, so I attempt to clamp down on my fear by glancing around the room and thinking up a plan. Nothing. I look out the tiny slit in the window. Time’s up.
Headlights rip through the darkness. I watch as Cole’s posture turns rigid. He slowly steps alongside the front door and holds his gun ready.
I slowly inch forward, but Zeus charges the front door, snarling and growling. “Zeus, halt,” Cole says in a commanding voice. Zeus immediately sits in place, anxious and ready for the next command. My head’s on a swivel between Cole and Zeus sitting at the door, his teeth bared.
The headlights flick off. A door slams. Footsteps come fast. My heart’s racing. The front door vibrates with three forceful knocks. My breath catches as I hear a muffled male voice shouting. I clench my jaw as Cole peeks out the window. I watch as his white knuckles give way to a slight headshake.
“Something’s wrong,” Cole says, rubbing the back of his head with his left hand.
“Who is it?” I tilt my head toward him.
“It’s Bruno … ” His voice trails off. He narrows his eyes and glances around as if looking for answers. “Why did he come back?” He looks at me, and his eyebrows squish together.
“Oh my God, then where’s Sutton?” I ask.
Bruno pounds even harder on the door this time. “Open the door!” He’s screaming and his voice is hoarse.
Suddenly, I run toward the door with Zeus at my heels and reach for the lock. “We have to let him in!” I say.
The door swings open. Cole grabs Bruno by the shirt and pulls him into the house as I close the door and lock it.
“Where is he?” I yell.
Bruno’s harried and wild appearance terrifies me. He doesn’t speak at first. He bends over, places his hands on his knees, and coughs. He’s sweating and trembling and … Is that blood?
“Bruno, where’s Sutton?” Cole asks in a low voice, glancing at me quickly, then turning back to him. Bruno stands up straight and looks directly at me and then at Cole.
“They took him.”
Panic sets in my chest like a bomb about to explode. Bruno’s panicked eyes lock with mine, and everything in the room becomes a blur.
“Who? Who has Sutton?” Cole asks, his voice rising with each word.
“Guards. At least twenty or so,” Bruno pants.
“How?”
Grace comes running i
nto the room, nearly knocking me over, pushing past me, and taking Bruno into her arms.
“It happened so fast,” he says, looking at Cole and hugging Grace. “We were headed toward one of the checkpoints, so I tried finding a way around. Everything was going smoothly, when all of a sudden they came out of nowhere. They forced me off the road, surrounded us.” Bruno pulls away from Grace and wipes sweat from his forehead. Grace leads him over to take a seat on the couch.
“Here, sit down before you pass out,” Grace says as she takes a seat next to him. Cole and I sit on the loveseat facing them, and Zeus remains by the door.
“They yanked Sutton from the car and threw him on the ground. Sutton yelled at me to run. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice. I slammed my foot down on the gas and got the hell out of there.” He lowers his eyes. “I would’ve never made it if I hadn’t.”
“Where are they taking him?” Cole asks.
“Where do you think?”
“No. Please, God, no.” In a rage, I jump from the couch and without thinking, punch a hole in the wall, watching the drywall crumble into pieces just like my heart. But I’m too angry to cry, and my hand hurts like crazy.
“Let’s go, we’re wasting time.” Cole moves quickly toward the door, and I’m a step behind him. Bruno steps in Cole’s way, waking Zeus, who’d fallen asleep in front of the door. “What are you doing? Get out of my way.”
“Man, we don’t have a chance in hell.”
“Screw that, we’re going,” Cole says in a threatening tone.
Grace is suddenly by Bruno’s side, trying to get us to think rationally. “And even if we did find them … which we won’t … then what? Nothing. Because we’d all end up dead.”
“You don’t know that.” Cole starts pacing the room, and I cover my face with my hands because I know what Grace’s saying is true.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not throwing my wife out there to get murdered. And what about Lexi? You’re willing to sacrifice her for the cause?”
Cole’s entire body goes rigid, and his hands are in tight fists. “Of course not,” he says through gritted teeth.
“So what are you saying?” I ask. “Just let Wilson do what he wants with him while we sit back and allow it to happen?” I have to do something. I cannot sit around and let them kill Sutton too! It’s hard to breathe. My pulse is racing. I reach for the wall to steady myself.
“Hey … calm down. Breathe. You need to breathe.” Cole’s arms wrap around me, and it feels like the room is spinning.
Just when I was starting to think maybe there was hope. This can’t be happening … everything’s backward and upside down.
“Man, she’s turning white,” Bruno says.
I hear him, but his voice sounds muffled as I grip Cole’s shirt. I shake my head into his chest, and I can’t believe the words that are about to come out of my mouth. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself.
“We have to”—I swallow hard, forcing the terror back down my throat—“go back in.”
“No way. You’re not going back to the Hole,” Cole says.
I push off his chest and scoot back against the wall. “That’s not your choice to make.”
Cole stews silently, his jaw tight with tension.
“This isn’t about you or me; this is about doing what’s right. What I need to do. What I have to do. I refuse to let Sutton rot in there. So it’s your choice … you can come or not, but either way, I’m going after him.”
He relaxes just enough that I can tell he really is concerned. He isn’t just being pig-headed. “You swore to me you’d never go back.”
“You’re right. I did. But now things have changed. And if we don’t man up and go after Sutton, no one will.”
Cole’s face hardens again, and he shakes his head. But seconds pass, and his expression changes. He’s knows I’m right. He knows I have to do this.
“All right.” Cole drops his eyes to the floor. “We’ll go together.”
“Thank you,” I say. “Look, I know it’s going to be hard. But we can do this. It’ll be different this time. We have the upper hand. No one would believe we’d have the guts to go back.”
“It won’t be that simple,” Cole says. “Guards still patrol the Hole. And do you realize how large it is? It could take years to find him.”
“And you’re the only one who’s branded,” Grace says to me.
“That’s not an issue. Children who are born in the Hole, they’re not branded … just forced to live in the Hole with their parents,” Bruno says.
“Lexi,” Cole says, “do you realize how hard—”
“I didn’t say it’d be easy,” I cut him off. “But we have to at least try. We can’t just leave him there to rot.”
“Have you considered the possibility we might never get out?” Cole asks. “Just because we were lucky enough to get out last time, doesn’t mean we’d be so lucky now. And let’s not forget, not all of us made it out.”
“You don’t think I know that?” I face him, my body rigid and heated. How could he think I’ve forgotten about Keegan and the others who died trying to get us out? “But had it been us, he wouldn’t give it a thought. He’d do the same and more.”
“So then what?” Cole asks. “What are we going to do?”
“We’ll live in the Hole.”
“What? Do you even hear what you’re saying?”
“We did it before, and I have to believe we can do it again. But if Sutton’s in there, then he can’t follow through on his plan, and then we really won’t have any hope of ever being free. Don’t you see? This is the only way.”
“Dude, this sucks monkey balls,” Bruno says. “The Hole sucks. Wilson sucks. This entire situation sucks.”
“If Lexi, of all people, is willing to go back, shouldn’t we be supporting her? I mean, she’s right. Sutton wouldn’t hesitate if it was one of us,” Grace says.
“Yeah, babe. It’s just, you have no idea what it’s like in there. It’s hell. Everywhere you turn, there’s some kind of danger,” Bruno says.
But I’m not paying attention to them as much as I’m watching Cole’s face. From the way he strokes his chin, I can tell he’s contemplating it. His eyes harden, and he takes a short, quick breath.
“Okay. How would this work?” He turns to Bruno.
“Well, before we do anything, we have to get Grace to her family. She’s not going to the Hole, man. Once we get her settled, we can figure out a plan on how we’re gonna get in.”
“Oh no you don’t,” Grace says. “I’m going too.”
“Absolutely not. You’re going home.”
“Bruno. I refuse to be that wife who sits around waiting every second of every day, wondering when or if her husband’s coming back. I’ve made my choice. I’m coming, and you’ll just have to deal with it!”
Wow! I didn’t see that coming. Go, Grace!
Bruno storms off into the kitchen. I hear him open the refrigerator door and slam it shut before he comes back in with a drink.
“Feel better?” Cole says to him.
“No.”
“Yeah, didn’t think so.”
“Okay, so we’re all going?” I ask.
“Seems that way. Four is better than two,” Cole says.
“Five. You forgot Zeus.”
“Oh, praise the Lord, now we’re saved!” Bruno says with sarcasm, and Zeus looks up from the blanket he’s been tearing apart and growls at him. “What’s with him and shredding stuff?”
“Stress reliever,” Cole says. “Better the blanket than your leg.”
While they’re conversing about Zeus, my mind wanders, trying to think about others who might want to help us.
“We need to get help,” I say.
“Huh?” Bruno asks. He looks at Cole.
“I’m talking about the monitors. They were expecting to meet Sutton. If we tell them he’s been abducted, maybe then they’ll have even more reason to believe us.” My knuckles turn white as I clench
my hands. “Sutton told us … we have to find them.”
“We don’t know anything about them other than that Sutton was going to meet with them,” Bruno says. “We don’t know where the meeting was or with who.”
“For heaven’s sake, Sutton didn’t tell you?” Grace asks in a high-pitched voice.
“I kinda got the impression he wanted to keep details to himself.” Bruno rubs his temples.
“You mean the entire time you guys were in the car he never mentioned it? You didn’t ask?” Cole shakes his head.
Bruno’s eyes brighten. “He did mention the monitors would get to High Society within the week. But from there, who the hell knows.”
“So then what?” Grace asks.
“Just depends on how aggressive the United Powers wants to be and if they can get enough backing from their members,” Bruno says. “If it’s bad enough, maybe they’ll intervene or something.”
“And when Sutton’s not there to greet them, they might become even more suspicious,” I say. Cole searches my eyes with his. “Hopefully they’ll head straight to the Hole.”
“That’s possible,” he says. “But if we find them first, we’ll tell them about Sutton and hope they’ll care enough to want to find him.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.” I nod at him.
“Well … we have a plan,” Bruno says. “Plans are good. If they work.”
“So let’s do this,” I say, jumping to my feet.
“Whoa, hold on there, hot pants,” Bruno says. “Preparation first. We need to grab all the food, water, and supplies we can and stuff it into our packs.”
When the realization settles in that we’re really going back to the Hole, I can’t move. The truth is, I’m scared out of my mind.
I sit on the doorstep with a fully loaded backpack and listen to the waves against the beach. Zeus nuzzles my hand, and I plant a kiss on his nose. Part of me wishes I could stay here forever. But I know it’s not realistic. I sigh.
My life has been a constant flow of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. And now, as I prepare for perhaps the biggest one I have ever had to face, I wonder if I have the strength to overcome. Before, we were just surviving from one day to the next. If we go back to the Hole, we will have to do more than just survive. We will have to triumph.