Big Girls Do Cry

by Carl Weber

  What I didn’t understand was what a smart woman like Loraine was thinking. I’d seen her husband before, and as fine as he was, she should have been watching his ass like a hawk. I know if I had a chance, I would jump on his fine ass myself, four and a half months pregnant or not. Men that fine don’t come around every day.

  Oh, you’re probably saying that I should stop thinking about other people’s husbands; I should be worried about other people’s feelings. Well, if you haven’t been able to figure it out yet, I don’t give a shit about anybody’s feelings but my own. I had my heart stomped on before, and the lesson I learned was that being nice is way overrated. That’s what I would have told Loraine if I was the one talking to her: Go kick that other woman’s ass, and then kick your husband’s ass. But instead, I had to listen to my sister give her the usual sappy “Oh, how sad,” without offering a real solution to the problem.

  “Loraine, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. What are you going to do?” Egypt asked.

  “I’m on my way home to kick his no-good ass out my house; that’s what I’m gonna do!” Looked like my girl Loraine was more like me than I’d realized.

  “My God! Well, be careful.” Egypt could be such a wimp. “Are you taking Jerome with you?”

  “I don’t need Jerome. I got two friends who agreed to come with me—Smith and Wesson. I’m sure they can handle Leon better than Jerome ever could.”

  Damn, that Loraine was no joke!

  “Okay, well, as long as you’re bringing someone with you.”

  I so wanted to take my hand off the receiver and scream, She was talking about a gun, stupid! But I knew it was time for me to hang up the phone, because if my sister said one more inane thing, I was going to curse her out for real, and I didn’t want to risk being caught eavesdropping. I placed the receiver back on the phone, wishing I could be a witness when Loraine went to take care of business. In the meantime, that mystery woman of Leon’s had inspired me with all kinds of ideas.

  The next morning, I got up early and went downstairs, where I found my father sitting in his lounge chair, reading the paper.

  “Daddy, can I use your car to go out to Long Island? Coco’s in town, and I’m going to meet her at IHOP.”

  “Sure, baby,” Daddy said. “Just be careful. You have precious cargo on board now.”

  “I will.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed out, glad that I was a daddy’s girl. He’d handed over the keys without a second thought, whereas Momma would have asked a million questions. And just like she always did, she would have grilled me until I admitted the truth: I wasn’t going anywhere near an IHOP, and I hadn’t talked to my friend Coco in ages.

  I put the Hudson Valley, New York, address into Daddy’s GPS and started to follow the directions. A half hour into my trip, I dialed a very familiar number.

  “G-tech Corporation dispatch, Tony speaking.”

  “Hey,” was all I said.

  “Isis, is that you, baby?” Now he was calling me baby. I guess he was about due for some of Momma’s lovin’.

  “Yeah, it’s me. I’m in New York. Can I come up to your job?”

  “Ah, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Almost everyone up here knows Monica, and—”

  “And you don’t want me to fucking embarrass you!” And to think I was gonna give this Negro some pussy.

  “That’s not it and you know it. Why don’t you meet me after work? We’ll get a short stay.”

  “Why don’t we get a room at the Marriott so you can spend the night?”

  “I can’t do that without using a credit card. Plus, if I’m not home by a certain time, Monica will have a fit. She’s got me on such a short leash I can’t fart without her being there to smell it.” He sighed. “And it doesn’t help that you harass her constantly. You call her job almost every day. You need to stop this shit, Isis.”

  “I don’t know why I didn’t kill that bitch when I had the chance.”

  “Will you stop saying that? You’re not killing anybody. Why do you always have to go there anyway?”

  “‘Cause that bitch is living my life, and you ain’t got the balls to do what’s right. That’s why!” I hung up the phone and kept driving. He made me so mad. This was all his fault. If he’d left me alone that day in the club when we met, my sister would still be living in Momma and Daddy’s basement, and I’d be married to Rashad. And now he had the nerve to tell me to stay away from his wife? Well, he had another thing coming.

  After a two-hour drive, I pulled up in front of a two-story Victorian brick house and got out of the car. I waddled up to the door, pressing my hand into my back for support, just in case anyone was looking out the windows. My back didn’t really bother me, but I liked for people to know I was pregnant. In most cases, it was because they gave me sympathy when they thought I was in pain, but in this case, I had an entirely different reason for flaunting my pregnancy.

  I lifted the brass knocker and knocked loudly. It took a while, but an older woman, probably about my mother’s age, answered the door. “Can I help you?” At first I thought perhaps I had the wrong address, or the people I was looking for may have moved, but then I heard Monica’s unmistakable voice yelling from inside the house.

  “Who is that, Momma?”

  Momma. Oh, this was too good to be true.

  “I’m not sure. There’s some woman at the door,” her mother replied. “What’s your name, young lady?”

  “Tell her Isis is here to see her.” Monica’s mother froze right where she was standing. Obviously she’d heard my name before. With any luck, I’d been the topic of many discussions—or preferably, fights—in their household.

  I stood there and stared the old woman down until she finally said, “Monica, she says her name is Isis.”

  I heard Monica slam something inside the house, then her footsteps as she stomped to the door. When she pushed past her mother, she probably thought she was being cute, giving me the once-over like I was some piece of trash. But the joke was on her when her gaze landed on my growing stomach, which I made sure was poked out as far as it could go. Because of my weight, I really looked about seven months pregnant.

  When she was finally able to pick her jaw up off the floor, she said, “What do you want, Isis? I know you ain’t here trying to start no trouble.”

  I heard the children calling in the background. Suddenly, two little girls came running up to their mother and grandmother. They were so cute. Both of them had Tony’s gorgeous green eyes.

  “Who’s that, Nana?” They peeked from behind their grandmother’s skirt.

  “Ain’t nobody,” Monica said, trying to rush them out of the foyer.

  Did she just call me nobody? Oh, see, I was planning to be good and wait until the kids were out of the way before I said anything, but if she was gonna disrespect me like that, then it was on. “Why you rushing the kids out of here, Monica? I just came to share the goods news with y’all that your girls are going to be having a baby brother.” I patted my stomach. “Tell them your husband and me are having a baby. And as for you, now that we’ll both have Tony’s babies, maybe you could try to be a little nicer to me. I mean, after all, we’re wife-in-laws.” I smirked.

  She looked back at her kids. “Tonya, Tamika, go play.” I could see she was on the verge of losing it, and I was relishing every minute of it.

  “Who is that, Mommy?” the older one asked.

  “That is a crazy woman! Now scoot!”

  The girls stood their ground, looking too scared to move now that their mother had called me crazy.

  “Momma, will you take them, please?” Monica gave her mother the eye, and Grandma shuffled the little ones back into the house, although I could still see the old battle-ax peeking around the corner.

  “Get the fuck off my property, you crazy, certified bitch!”

  “Who you callin’ a crazy bitch?” I challenged.

  “You, bitch. I don’t care what you say. Yours and mine will never be r
elated—I don’t care how many bastards you spit out. Besides, you lie so much, I’m sure it’s not even Tony’s baby. Now get off my property before I call the police.”

  See, like I said, Monica never made this easy for me. Why couldn’t she just believe me the first time I said it, the way Loraine did with her husband’s other woman? Even if I was lying. But that’s okay. I would give her something to think about if she didn’t want to just take my word for it.

  “No, we’ll see whose baby it is soon enough. Besides, if you’re too high and mighty to believe me, here’s something to put in your little pipe and smoke: Ask Tony where he went the weekend of Fourth of July, when he told you he was going fishing in the Hamptons.” I could see her tabulating the time, date, and place in her head. “That’s when I conceived junior here. You couldn’t give him a boy, so I guess I had to.”

  “You’re a liar! And I’ll prove it when Tony comes home. I just talked to him before your skank ass showed up on my doorstep, and he’s on his way from the grocery store.”

  I called her bluff and then some. “What, do you think telling me Tony’s on his way over here is going to get me to leave or something? Shit, you got a chair so I can wait?” I laughed hysterically. “Honey, Tony ain’t stopped hitting this in all this time; what makes you think you gonna stop him? And he ain’t gonna be here anytime soon, ‘cause he’s sitting at his job down in Yonkers, happy as shit from the blow job I gave him in the parking lot. So, unless he’s got jets, he ain’t gonna be here anytime soon.”

  “You fucking home-wrecking bitch!” Monica broke down screaming and crying. I guess she finally believed me. I thought she was going to rush at me, but she slammed the door instead.

  As I left the porch, I could hear her children crying too. “Mommy, what’s the matter? Who was that lady? What is she talking about we gon’ have a baby brother?”

  I laughed all the way to my car. All hell was going to break loose in that house when Tony got home from work later.

  My cell phone began vibrating as I started up my car. I couldn’t believe she’d called Tony that fast. I put on my hands-free headset, expecting to hear Tony’s voice when I answered. But it was Egypt who spoke.

  “Isis, where are you?” she demanded like she was my momma or something. “We’ve called all over looking for you. And don’t try and tell me that lie you told Daddy, because Coco’s not even in town.”

  “I’m all right.”

  “I hope you haven’t been with that damn Tony. You know Rashad is too upset. He’s been worried sick.”

  “No, I haven’t been with Tony.” In a sense, I was telling the truth. I smiled and hummed to myself. I was happy to know that Rashad was concerned. “I just had to go for a ride to clear my head. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Loraine

  33

  I said good-bye to Egypt and hung up the phone just as I pulled down my block. Thankfully, I’d managed to make it back home without being pulled over by a cop. I was drunk as hell. I knew I shouldn’t have drunk half of what I did, but the alcohol was the only thing dulling the pain.

  I’m sure if Jerome hadn’t passed out right before I left, he would have taken my keys. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this wasted; then again, I couldn’t remember a time I needed to be this wasted. I don’t think I’d ever hurt this much inside. If it weren’t for Jerome’s friendship, I’d probably be a basket case.

  Over drinks, I’d told him the whole story about LaKeisha showing up at the house, telling me about the scarring on Leon’s ass and admitting about the panties. He couldn’t believe it. Genuine anger flashed in his eyes as he listened; then he went so far as to pull out his gun from its secret hiding spot and threaten to shoot Leon. I half expected him to laugh at me and say “I told you so,” but he didn’t, and I really appreciated his decency and friendship even more.

  Jerome had fallen asleep a little after eleven, so I texted Egypt, looking for another sympathetic shoulder to lean on. Unfortunately, she was out of town for the Thanksgiving weekend but called while I was driving home. She turned out to be a good friend and a good listener. She did her best to comfort me and support me, but let’s be honest: Nothing was really going to make me feel better—except for maybe a Mack truck hitting both Leon and his bitch.

  The entire time I was at Jerome’s, Leon kept calling and textmessaging me, asking where I was. I refused to respond, other than to say I’d be home soon. He had no idea what he had in store for him when I got there, though. I wasn’t sure if his bitch had called to tell him that she talked to me today, but by now he had to know that I wasn’t too happy with him. If he thought we were going to sit down and talk things out, he was in for a very rude awakening. My bitterness had taken my mind down a devious road. I had something very special in mind for my soon-to-be ex-husband. I hadn’t even told Jerome about it for fear that he’d try to talk me out of it.

  Leon’s car was parked in the driveway when I pulled up. I expected to be greeted at the door, but surprisingly, he wasn’t waiting there for me. I was happy about that. When I saw him, I wanted it to be on my terms.

  The downstairs part of the house was dark, but I staggered into the kitchen and put on a pot of water. I took a tea bag and a cup out of the cupboard, along with some sugar. When the water came to a boil, I poured some into my cup, then placed the pot back on the stove.

  Sipping my tea, I thought about the confrontation I’d had in front of my house earlier that evening. In a last-ditch effort to save the love I had for him and our marriage, I tried to give Leon the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of any reasons why that woman would have known about the scarring on his ass or why she would chance coming to my house and getting her ass beat, other than, like she said, she was in love with him. And as far as the panties, they were most definitely hers, ‘cause sister girl was more than big enough to fit in them. For the umpteenth time that night, tears rolled down my face as I had to confront facts: My marriage was over, and my husband was a damn cheater.

  On that note, I took the boiling water off the stove and headed up the stairs with the pot in my hand. Leon was still staying in the guestroom. It sent my blood pressure up five points just thinking about the fact that if that bitch hadn’t shown up, he would have been in my bed and we would have made love again for the first time in months. Now, just the thought of him touching me after he’d been with that hussy made my skin crawl.

  I tiptoed down the hall to his room. When I opened the door, I found him sleeping peacefully with the comforter pulled up to his head. He was turned on his side, and I couldn’t help it; my first thought was that he looked so cute.

  “Why couldn’t you love me the way I love you?” I whispered as I watched him sleep. Jerome once told me that you have to love someone in order to hate them. I think I understood exactly what he meant now, because as much as I loved Leon, I hated him. In fact, as an image of LaKeisha popped into my head, I hated his fucking guts. Without a moment of hesitation, I lifted the pot of hot water and threw it on him.

  Leon sprang up, screaming. He threw off the comforter and rolled out of the bed, onto the floor. “Awww! Help me! Help me! I’m on fire!”

  The loudness and intensity of his screams snapped me out of my drunken haze for a minute, enough to recognize the seriousness of what I’d just done. If he hadn’t been covered by a heavy comforter, I could have permanently injured him. As angry as I was, I really wasn’t trying to kill the man. I was just trying to get his attention so I could get him out of my house. The way he was rolling around on the ground and patting himself like he was on fire, I felt sorry for him—but only for a split second.

  He was in such a panic that it took him a while to even realize I was in the room. Even then, he called out, “Loraine, help me!” not realizing that I was the cause of his pain. Only when he heard me drop the pot to the floor did it dawn on him what I had done.

  “Oh my God, woman, are you crazy?” He tried to get up but fell back to the
ground.

  “I’m not crazy, Leon. Drunk, yes, but crazy? I don’t think so.” I’m sure it was the alcohol that was giving me the courage to stand my ground. Even so, I had to stay alert and prepared for the worst, because that pain was only going to last so long, and then he would come after me.

  “What’d you put on me? You trying to kill me or something?” He was rubbing his left side and still attempting to get up.

  “Oh, please, Leon, the pain you feel is nothing compared to the pain you’ve caused me.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re acting crazy.” He was looking at me like he was trying to see through my skull and into my brain. “You’ve finally lost your mind, haven’t you?”

  “No, I’m not the crazy one—but your bitch tried to make me think I was the one losing it when she left her panties in my bed and in my house.”

  “Are we back to this shit again? What, did you find another pair of panties?” His pain must have subsided a bit, because he was standing up now, and his anger was evident. I wasn’t ready to back down yet.

  “You damn right we’re back to this shit! You can thank your little girlfriend—or should I say your big girlfriend—for that.”

  I got a blank look from him. I guess his girl hadn’t let him know that she paid me a visit. Good. The fact that I’d caught him off guard definitely gave me the upper hand, because he’d had no time to concoct some bullshit lies to feed me. Not that I would have believed him at this point anyway.

  “How could you do this to me? I would have done anything for you!”

  “Do what? What are you talking about?” he shouted. “I’m seeing a shrink two times a week—three times, if you count marriage counseling. What the hell am I doing?”