by Alec, Joyce
Her hands tightened in her lap, as Sophia struggled to think of what to say. She knew precisely what it was she wanted to express, but as yet, she was not certain he would not think her rude if she spoke with such freedom as she might with a friend.
“My brother, of course, began to write to me a great deal more often when Elizabeth passed, but he has only visited once since then.”
“I am sure you are very glad to have him back with you now,” Sophia murmured softly. “He seems to be a very kind man.”
The duke chuckled. “You saw him with Sarah, did you not? And that told you the kind of man he was?”
“Indeed,” Sophia replied without any hesitation. “I always think how a gentleman or a lady treats either a child or a servant says a great deal about their character.”
The duke nodded slowly, looking at her thoughtfully. “That is very astute, Miss Weston.”
There was a short silence, as the duke looked back into the fire, clearly lost in thought. Sophia closed her eyes tightly, drawing in a long breath, as what she wanted to say, what she wanted to express, refused to let go of her mind.
“It sounds as though you were…somewhat lonely these last few years,” Sophia ventured, her stomach tightening, as she finally gave voice to her thoughts, praying that he would not think she had overstepped in expressing such a thing. “I can well understand that, your grace. It lingers for a long time, does it not, even when there is company to be found?”
Slowly, he turned his whole body back toward her, his eyes pensive, as he regarded her carefully. She could almost see the way he was thinking about what she had said, her nerves stretched taut as she waited for him to respond.
“You have seen more in me than anyone else,” he murmured, looking at her as though she were a gift sent from heaven. “Yes, that loneliness still lingers. My daughter gets all of my heart and soul, for she is the one that fills my life with joy. But yet, when it is late and there is no one else about, I have often felt wrapped in the arms of loneliness.” A slow smile spread across his face, his gaze flickering across her features. “And yet I have found that feeling dissipating somewhat since your arrival.”
Sophia shivered.
She could not look away from him, the only sound the crackling of the wood as it burned. She could feel a long, slow heat began to burn all through her, her breath quickening as he smiled slowly.
“You are good for me and for my daughter, I do believe,” he said quietly. “I do not think I should ever want you to leave.”
His words rang around her mind, capturing her heart. She could tell that he had surprised himself by what he had said, as though he had never meant to say it out loud. His eyes flared, and in a moment of embarrassment, he cleared his throat gruffly and turned his face away from her.
“I think I should retire now, your grace,” Sophia said, aware that tension was now crackling between them. He had said too much; she had said too little; and whatever it was that she felt, or he felt, it was not to be said tonight.
“Thank you for coming to speak with me, Miss Weston,” he murmured, as she rose from her chair. “I do hope I have not put you off coming to speak with me again another time.”
A swell of relief ran through her, and she managed a quick smile, inclining her head as she remembered her place. She had forgotten that she was the governess for a few minutes, forgotten that she was Miss Weston, the hired help. She had thought herself back amongst the best of society, engaging in conversation with a gentleman of the ton.
“No, indeed not, your grace,” she replied softly. “I will be glad to come and talk to you again, whenever you may wish it. I find your conversation to be very pleasant, and I have greatly enjoyed speaking to you.”
He nodded, his lips quirking into a small smile. “As have I. Good evening, Miss Weston.”
“Good evening, your grace,” she whispered, leaving the room and closing the door softly behind her.
13
Unfortunately for Sophia, the fact that guests were soon to descend on the house sent the household into an uproar. She had no time to speak to the duke again, and—in fact—she barely saw him as she went about her duties. Her charge was in rather high spirits, far too excited about the ladies and lords who were to appear very soon, and so Sophia found herself giving all of her energy to the girl. Mathematics and writing took much longer than they ought, given that Sarah was so easily distracted, and to Sophia’s frustration, she found herself growing irritated much more easily.
It was, therefore, something of a relief for the guests to finally show face. Sophia laughed, as Sarah danced about the room chattering wildly about the carriage she had spotted from the window.
“Go and sit down by the window and ensure you are well hidden,” Sophia instructed, choosing to seat herself at the desk where she kept all of her notes as well as Sarah’s own work. “You may describe the carriages to me if you wish, although I will warn you that there may be a great length of time between one carriage and the next!”
This, however, did not appear to put Sarah off in the least. A good two hours passed and only four carriages appeared, but there was enough business at the front of the house to keep the girl entertained.
Sophia listened with only half an ear, working through her notes of what Sarah had covered and what needed to be repeated or done in a little more detail. It was only when Sarah commented on a particular carriage that she frowned, giving the child her full attention for a moment, only for Sarah to squeal in delight as another carriage appeared just after.
Shaking her head wryly, Sophia continued with her own work, trying to ignore the ball of tension that sat in her stomach. She was feeling nervous about the guests inhabiting the house, even though it was for less than two weeks and she would, most certainly, keep herself away from them. In fact, she would not be in their company, and would therefore, most likely never meet any of them face-to-face.
However, just knowing that her peers were within the duke’s house made her stomach clench. It was difficult knowing that she could easily mix amongst them, that her status as a viscount’s daughter made it more than acceptable for her to do so, but that she simply could not. She had been demoted to a governess by her brother’s choice, not by her own decision. To be in society now would be more shame than enjoyment.
And yet, she thought, glancing toward Sarah, there was a great deal of enjoyment in what she did. She was very fond of Sarah and had found her time in the duke’s home to be a time of happiness. Mayhap, that was because the duke showed her more attention than should be expected. Regardless, Sophia found herself glad at her new position in life. It was better than living with her brother and sister-in-law, looked down on and discarded by them in all things and in all ways. Here she had company, purpose, and respect—more than her brother had shown her in a long time.
“There are so many beautiful ladies,” Sarah sighed, pressing her face almost flat against the pane. “Look at them all, Miss Weston!”
Smiling to herself, Sophia made her way to the window just as the two horses and carriages were led away. A slight frown creased her brow, as she caught sight of the coat of arms on the side of the carriage, a stab of recognition hitting her. It was only the briefest of glances, and yet, she felt as though she ought to recognize it. The familiar feeling of worry settled over her again, growing almost queasy at the thought that an old acquaintance might be at the duke’s house party.
Shaking her head, she threw her thoughts away and let herself get caught up in Sarah’s excitement. Another carriage rolled up the driveway, and Sarah let out a gasp as a tall lady exited the carriage, her fine dress the object of Sarah’s delight. Much to Sophia’s relief, she did not recognize this particular lady, nor the gentleman who came out of the carriage afterward to stand by her side. What she did see was the duke greeting his new guests, her eyes fixing on him for a moment. He was as jovial as she had ever seen him, his delighted greetings reaching through the window to her ears. She could not hea
r any words in particular, but his effusions were obvious.
A small, wry smile tipped her mouth. She knew very well that the duke did not care for such company, and yet, here he was, playing the part of host with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. No one would doubt that he wanted them here, that he was looking forward to being with them in the house. Only she – as well as perhaps the duke’s brother – knew the truth.
A sharp rap at the door caught her attention, and as she turned, she saw the footman step inside with a note in his hand.
“Thank you,” Sophia murmured, taking it from him and wondering what it might be about. “Do I need to reply?”
The footman shrugged, a little more at ease with her than with the duke due to her station. “I was not instructed to wait, Miss Weston.”
“Very well. Thank you,” she murmured, as the footman closed the door. The note was not sealed, and unfolding it, Sophia looked down at the bottom of the page and saw the duke’s signature. A flurry of excitement wrapped around her belly, and whilst giving herself a stern talking to, Sophia left Sarah where she sat and took herself back to her desk.
‘Miss Weston,’ the note began. ‘There are some things I must speak to you about without delay. I had hoped to find a time to talk with you before the guests arrived, but I am afraid it is not to be so. Please come to my study this evening at precisely ten o’clock.’
The note was not signed, ending rather abruptly Sophia’s thought. Her excitement faded only to be replaced by a growing concern. Was something wrong?
When the nurse came to sit with Sarah for dinner, Sophia was more than ready to spend some time on her own. Her head was filled with thoughts of the guests and the note the duke had sent, worrying about what it might mean.
Making her way from the nursery to her own room, she paused for a moment, looking down at the papers in her hand. She was due to give the duke a report on Sarah’s progress, and whilst she knew he would be busy with all his guests, she did not want to delay her report.
“But you will be seeing him this evening,” she murmured to herself, knowing that she did not need to go directly to his study at this very moment. Worrying, however, that the duke would wish to talk to her about Sarah’s education, Sophia did not go into her room but rather looked down the empty corridor. The guests would be dining soon enough, for the duke kept country hours, so there was very little chance that she would meet anyone unexpectedly. Biting her lip, Sophia set her shoulders and began to walk swiftly down the corridor, knowing that none of the guests would be anywhere near her quarters. She would find a footman soon enough and would hand the papers to him to leave in the duke’s study.
“Ah,” she exclaimed, seeing a footman walking along the hallway toward her, having just reached the top of the staircase. “Might I ask you to set this in the duke’s study?”
The footman frowned but took the papers from her.
“I would do it myself, but I do not want to meet any of the guests unexpectedly,” she continued, aware that it was something of a poor excuse. “Thank you.”
The footman, still looking somewhat unimpressed, turned his back on her and walked swiftly away from her, leaving Sophia to let out a long breath of relief before making her way back toward her own rooms.
“Sophia?”
The voice was high pitched and filled with astonishment, and with a slow sense of horror filling her, Sophia turned around.
Viscountess Brookridge, her sister-in-law, was staring at her with a slight smirk around her mouth.
“Good evening,” Sophia said, crisply, aware of just how hard her heart was hammering. “You will have to excuse me. I am expected back.”
“I hardly recognized you!” Lady Brookridge exclaimed, ignoring her completely. “I did not know that it was the duke who had taken you in!”
Sophia’s hands grew clammy, as she held herself stiffly, desperate for this conversation to be over.
“It is good that I have found you, however,” Lady Brookridge continued, with a slight sigh. “Your brother has come to regret what happened, Sophia. I think he wishes you to return home.”
Suspicion lodged itself in Sophia’s mind.
“You can come back with us, of course,” Lady Brookridge continued, as though it was all settled. “We are here for the full ten days, and then we leave. Will you be ready by then?”
Sophia looked into her sister-in-law’s cold, calm face and drew in a long breath, calming her frantically beating heart. “Lady Brookridge, I will not be returning with you and Peter. My place is here. I am employed here, and I am more than satisfied with my role.”
Lady Brookridge laughed and waved a hand. “Nonsense, you’ll be coming back with us. I am sure the duke will understand once he knows who you really are.”
“He is already aware of my circumstances.”
That seemed to take the wind from Lady Brookridge’s sails. Her eyebrows furrowed, her hands clasping in front of her. For a moment or two, there was silence.
“If he is aware of who you are, then there can be no difficulty in explaining why you must return,” Lady Brookridge said slowly. “We need you back at home, Sophia.”
Seeing the lady touch her stomach gently, Sophia realized what she meant. Her eyes widened, her hands planting themselves on her hips.
“You want me to play nursemaid?”
Lady Brookridge looked astonished for a moment before laughing and waving one hand. “Well, you have already gained so much experience here that it would be most untoward not to consider you for what will be your own niece or nephew!” she exclaimed, as though Sophia was joining in with her mirth. “You will be a wonderful governess to our little one.”
Filled with sudden, furious anger, Sophia stepped forward and looked directly into the viscountess’s eyes. She was not intimidated by her, nor was she about to give in to the viscountess’s demands simply because of who she was.
“I will not be leaving the duke’s home just because you decide that I am to be useful again,” she said in a low voice. “I will not be returning; I will not be governess to your child and certainly will not be doing as you ask ever again. I am happy here and have every intention to remain. Now,” she finished, lifting her chin a notch, “do excuse me, Lady Brookridge. I do not think that I will have either need or opportunity to see you again. I wish you a pleasant and safe journey home when the time comes.”
Spinning on her heel, Sophia hurried along the hallway, her governess dress billowing out behind her. She was both angry and upset, feeling hot tears prick at her eyes. It had been a shock to see her sister-in-law here, but to be asked – to be told that she would supposedly be leaving this place to return home – was both infuriating and insulting.
Slamming the door of her bedchamber closed, Sophia slid down the length of the door before burying her head in her knees. Tears dampened her dress as her shoulders shook, sobs shaking her frame. Once again, she was being treated as nothing more than a possession, useful in various ways until her brother and sister-in-law decided that she was no longer of any kind of use. Then she would be sent away, married off, or some other option chosen by her brother.
“No,” she whispered to herself, firmly. “I am going to stay here. They cannot force me to leave.” Her head dropped, her shoulders slumping. “Can they?”
Her heart beat wildly, her eyes burning with fresh tears. The thought of leaving the duke, of leaving Sarah, put nothing but fear into her heart. A vision of the duke fluttered into her memory, the feelings of just how happy she had been to talk with him soothing her pained heart.
Should she tell him about what her sister-in-law had said? Would he want to know? Would he care? The answer was already in her heart, knowing that he would want to hear what had been said.
Her tears slowly abated, as the thought of speaking to the duke brought a sense of calmness to her injured heart. She did not have long to wait now.
14
Matthew wanted nothing more than to escape to the quietn
ess of his study, and hopefully, to the company of Miss Weston. Yet, he was still forced to entertain his host of guests.
His brother, of course, was having a wonderful time. Matthew could see him down at the pianoforte, offering to turn the pages of the music for whichever young lady it was sitting down to play. He, himself, was enjoying drinking his port in one of the large comfortable chairs in the corner, managing to keep himself mostly separate from the large crowd of guests. Soon enough, he would be able to excuse himself, citing some business that needed to be seen to, although the minutes were ticking by with agonizing slowness.
“Your grace!”
Looking up, Matthew tried not to let a grimace settle on his face, as he saw Lady Brookridge approach him with her husband not far behind. Out of all of his guests, he could not find them in any way amiable. They were both rather full of themselves, loud and exuberant. They had both commented on practically everything they had seen, touched, or eaten since they had arrived, gushing over him and his home.
Matthew had not been impressed.
“Lady Brookridge,” he murmured, getting out of his seat so as not to be rude. “How are you this evening?”
“Well,” Lady Brookridge replied, with a gleam in her eye. “I was just telling my husband how surprised I was to discover that you have someone we know within your household.”
A ripple of unease settled in his stomach. He had not had the opportunity to talk to Sophia about the presence of her family in his home. Now, it appeared that they had somehow met her already. What had been said? Was she quite all right? Had they upset her? Laughed at her? Mocked her?
“My wife tells me you have employed a new governess,” Lord Brookridge chuckled, his eyes bright with too much liquor. “I do hope she is doing well.”