by Jack Harbon
He’d worried about this moment. He’d heard horror stories from everyone about this kind of sex, and it apparently intimidated someone as experienced as Valerie. He recalled all of the tips he’d learned from the internet.
They had to go slow, they had to work their way up, they had to use plenty of lubrication...
He lay there flipping through a rolodex of information when suddenly Mateo’s entire body tightened up and he gasped, his face buried in the sheets and his ass in the air. He felt hands on either side of him, spreading him, and a wetness in the middle, working him slowly.
His mind went blank for a moment, lost in a feeling unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Arthur’s tongue made him want to laugh with giddiness and cry out into the pillow, a blizzard of various emotions and noises. He gripped the sheets firmly and whined once he’d caught his breath, short needy spurts of encouragement spilling from his lips. Arthur grinned and continued his work. His tongue danced over Mateo’s body and his beard brushed against every one of Mateo’s sensitive spots. It was a wonder Mateo was able to keep still.
When the first finger came, he tensed and felt his body clench up. It ached, dull and long, and Mateo wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Maybe this could wait for another time. Maybe they could pause here. Combating the doubts, he remembered the promise he’d made downstairs. Unconditional trust, no questions. Those were the things he’d promised Arthur. Reminding himself of it made the stinging easier. He controlled his breathing, focused on counting out each exhale and inhale, and tried his hardest to relax. Soon the sliding came easier. He was able to ease more into the bed and his chest didn’t feel as tight anymore.
Arthur curled his finger and it was like a grenade went off inside of Mateo. His head snapped back and a soft cry of pleasure erupted from his throat. He had no words to describe the feeling; it was scary he’d gone his entire life without knowing something that felt this good was inside of him. His body vibrated, humming like he was sitting atop a dryer. It rattled up to the head of his erection as if he was being touched everywhere below his waist, all at once. He tried to keep quiet but it was a mission destined to fail.
When Arthur worked in another finger, he was rewarded with even more noises. Mateo was putty in his hands—water between his fingers—completely relaxed and panting. Arthur leaned his head in and kissed up and down the back of the other’s thigh. He sucked on his skin, careful to leave tiny red marks up and down his body.
Mateo was floating on cloud nine by the time he’d been loosened up properly. Mateo felt empty when Arthur left him to grab a few items from his suitcase. As he slipped on the small latex ring, they made eye contact. Arthur looked at him like he was examining artwork, though Mateo felt like a complete mess. Strands of his hair were already wet, stuck to his forehead. His neck, cheeks, and shoulders were pink, flushed from just Arthur’s mouth and fingers alone. He couldn’t imagine what other parts of Arthur would do to him.
He returned to the bed and lowered himself on top of Mateo, his chest against his back. He brushed strands away from his neck and kissed him softly, pecking down his shoulders and back. As he worked his way down, his hands moved up his sides, massaging him, comforting him. Mateo knew it wouldn’t feel good at first—it apparently rarely did—but he was determined to take him.
The small bottle of lubricant popped when Arthur opened it. He worked it between his fingers to heat it up before he pressed the digits against Mateo. He took his time and guided himself against the other’s entrance. He pressed his hand flat against Mateo’s stomach and pushed up, causing him to take in a deep breath. As he did, Arthur pushed the slightest bit of himself into the boy. he continued further, Mateo’s body seized and Arthur froze. It wasn’t until Mateo nodded that the movement inside resumed.
It was a slow process, and it took time for Mateo to stretch. He wanted it much more than he wanted the pain to stop, and that helped keep things moving. Once Arthur was to the base, he stilled his actions and allowed time to adjust to the sudden intrusion. His lips were back on Mateo’s body, distracting him again. Anything it took to get his mind off the uncomfortable feeling. Arthur’s hips stirred slightly as he moved up his body and a sudden noise came from under him. It wasn’t a bad one either.
Mateo quickly came to understand why people did this. He understood why people went out of their way for hook ups. It was only a small movement inside him but it knocked the wind out of him. The surprise put a smile on his face, and he turned his head, laughing to himself. Arthur heard him and soon joined in, burying his face in the crook of Mateo’s neck. The sound of the older man’s laugh was slowly becoming his favorite sound.
They stayed like this for a moment, laughing quietly, before it gradually died out and Arthur began moving his hips.
He started slow, back and forth in a gentle rocking motion. Mateo was still a bit sore, and he appreciated the thoughtfulness. Arthur’s movements were heavenly to him and felt like he was somewhere else entirely. Inside, that spot was still being stimulated, every now and then shocking his body without warning. Mateo’s moans grew louder, rising from a soft grunt to noises loud enough for him to wonder if anyone in the room next to them could hear.
Once he was sure that Mateo was game, Arthur began working hard, pulling his hips further away and thrusting forward. Their skin connected rhythmically, and Mateo couldn’t help but be reminded of applause. He bit his lip and finally pushed up, moving his chest off of the mattress.
With Mateo like this, Arthur was able to lean forward and hover over him, kissing his neck. Mateo turned and met his lips, panting into his mouth as they moved together. He’d never felt this close to anyone else before, never felt so connected to just one person, and he was hooked on it immediately.
When they broke, Arthur bit down on his shoulder, careful not to be too rough. Unsatisfied with the feeling, Mateo reached a hand back and brought Arthur’s lips back to his shoulder. He repeated the action with a smirk, adding a bit more to it. That was it. Mateo whined and thrust his hips back against Arthur.
He wanted more, more of everything, and just like this entire day, he got what he wanted. Arthur wrapped a hand around the other’s waist and pulled him up so they were both on their knees, slick bodies pressed close together. Mateo could feel his shuddering breaths against his back, long and uneven. He leaned back and allowed Arthur to support his weight. In this position, those same fireworks returned, slicing through him like butter against a warm knife. He cried out and squeezed his eyes tight. It was overwhelming, all-encompassing, and he never wanted it to end.
He turned his head and caught Arthur’s gaze. The dimmed light of the lamp on the nightstand reflected in the man’s eyes, and if he looked closely Mateo could see his own face. Arthur’s brows were knit together. Mateo couldn’t think of a better sight than this one.
Arthur’s hips were like a machine, back and forth and unrelenting. Something fuzzy in Mateo’s stomach came to fruition. He knew it, he was familiar with it, but this was different.
This wasn’t the same feeling he got when he was alone in the shower. This wasn’t something caused by some guy’s hand at a party. This was everywhere inside of him, pulsing through him like the blood in his veins, and he was defenseless against it. All he could do was let it happen, let it take over him. His whines grew higher in pitch, quicker and shorter, and Arthur must’ve known what it all meant. He angled himself and stroked that spot mercilessly.
Mateo had intended his words to be obscenities, but nothing came from his mouth as he reached his climax. There was only a silent scream as he decorated the sheets with himself. It felt so good that it was just shy of painful. The feeling was so incomparable that he wanted to cry out, choosing noises to communicate his pleasure rather than words. There were no words for it, after all.
He tipped forward, his balance off, but Arthur caught him and pulled him back against his body, a wide smile on his face. Mateo could feel himself shaking, weak, but Arthur held him upright
. Even as the mind-clouding feeling faded, he was greeted with that same constant attention to his prostate. He was warm all over, from his forehead to his feet, burning up.
And when it became clear Arthur was close to his own experience, the buzzing feeling inside Mateo only became more intense. He was barely able to take it but the desperation of Arthur’s thrusts made him tough it out. He wanted him to feel good. He deserved to feel good.
Arthur growled and held him tight. His hips blurred, and soon his body shuddered as he reached his climax. He hissed, riding out the wave of euphoria with Mateo. The two moved back down to the bed, to the position they’d started in, and he slowed his pace, coming down off that high.
It wasn’t the last time. They moved to the floor, the carpet making for an interesting feeling against Mateo’s back. His face pressed against the window as Arthur had him there. He overlooked the city lights, swimming in ecstasy. They spent the night enjoying each other completely. Mateo wanted never-ending, and it never did.
14
TAKE THESE WORDS BACK
If it had been up to Mateo, he and Arthur would’ve spent the entire day in bed, cuddling and binge-watching The Good Place all day long, but when noon rolled around and his stomach rumbled, Arthur decided that they were going somewhere for lunch.
“Where are we going?” Mateo asked, tugging on his brand-new sneakers. They were a little tight, but he needed to break them in.
“You’ll see.”
“You’re the worst,” Mateo groaned. Even when he stood in the shower pestering Arthur to tell him where they were going, the man was as tight-lipped as ever. If Mateo “accidentally” dropping the soap in front of him wasn’t going to make him spill the beans, clearly nothing would.
Rather than bugging him endlessly, Mateo decided to throw his hands in the air and just go with it. He grabbed his jacket, and once Arthur was ready, he followed him out of the door and down to the lobby. Mateo had originally planned to invite Nicola out with them until he found out from Arthur that she had met a woman at the strip club, and they ended up staying out way too late getting into trouble.
When they made it to the street, a car sat waiting for them. Arthur held the door open for Mateo to slide in then followed after him. Mateo foolishly believed that he might be able to parse out where they were going from the city around them, but the trip to the undisclosed location was nowhere near the places he’d looked up on Google Maps before the trip.
They were in uncharted territory for him, and the only thing he could do was trust Arthur.
One hundred percent, no questions.
Thinking about the night before made him flush with embarrassment. He never imagined that was how his first time would go. For most of his life, he’d expected it to be fast and painful, something that he not-so-fondly reminisced about with his friends whenever they ended up a little too drunk at some party. They’d all laugh about how terrible their first experiences were then thank the lord that they were finally having great sex.
The reality was that Mateo must’ve entered the correct up-up-down-down cheat code combination because he’d skipped the bad parts and gone directly to fantastic sex with Arthur. They’d spent the entire night entangled in each other’s arms, and in Mateo’s eyes, it had been more than worth the temporary soreness he felt this morning.
Their driver stopped outside of a nondescript building, and Mateo looked out the window at their surroundings. They were clearly off The Strip, somewhere Mateo hadn’t expected to be, but he wasn’t going to turn his nose up at the place. This looked more his speed than any of the fancy shops and outlets malls they’d been to since they landed in Vegas.
Arthur took Mateo’s hand and led him through the door of a tiny restaurant. Valerie would’ve called it a hole-in-the-wall, and Rob would’ve called it raggedy. The smell of Vietnamese food hit Mateo instantly, and he immediately fell in love.
“Welcome to my favorite restaurant in the entire world,” Arthur said once they took a seat at one of the tables in the back of the room.
Mateo looked around at the place, admiring everything from the tiny antique dolls lining one of the half-walls that separated the restaurant into sections to the gorgeous artwork hanging from the walls. The harsh fluorescent lights above buzzed loudly, and the voices of other customers mixed with the soft music playing through the overhead speakers. The place had personality.
“I’ve only ever been to a Vietnamese restaurant once before,” Mateo said, leaning forward to reach for the menu.
“Did you like it?”
“Yeah, it was nice! My friends weren’t the biggest fan, so I haven’t had a chance to go back there, but I miss it.”
“You should take me to it when we get back in town,” Arthur suggested.
Mateo looked up from the menu, eyes sparkling. “Really?”
“Sure,” he shrugged. “Why not?”
Their waitress appeared a few moments later, and immediately she and Arthur hit it off. Mateo found himself sitting silently, watching them interact and get caught up on each other’s lives. Tina, the waitress, had gotten married to her longtime boyfriend, which he and Arthur both congratulated her on. She showed off her wedding band and large engagement ring, and Arthur whistled at the size. After taking their orders, Tina headed back to the kitchen to get their bowls of pho started.
“This place is really cute, Art,” Mateo said, looking around again.
“Like I said, this is my place. I don’t come often because I’m not outside of L.A. very often, but Trang Pho Restaurant is somewhere I always make sure to stop by. I remember when I first brought Nicola here. She made herself sick eating so much.” He laughed at the memory, shaking his head.
“I’m glad you brought me.”
“Of course. If I had it my way, I’d bring you to all my favorite places.”
“I’d love to go,” Mateo said. He meant every word of it. Arthur was someone with more experiences under his belt than anyone else Mateo had ever met. He could only imagine all the interesting places he’d been, and if Arthur wanted to take him, he wouldn’t say no.
“We’ll find a way to go to all of them,” Arthur said, reaching for Mateo’s hand. He stroked the other man’s knuckles with his thumb, slow and steady.
“We’ll go to some of my favorites too. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to most of them. Not since Dad got sick.” When he realized that he’d brought up his father, Mateo looked away, pressing his lips together tight.
Shit, he thought.
“You okay?” Arthur asked. His hold on Mateo’s hand tightened just a little.
“Yeah, I’m just…” He shrugged. He couldn’t find the words.
“Talk to me, Mateo. What’s wrong?”
It took a long time for him to gather what exactly he wanted to say. “I just feel like I’m…I don’t know, running away from my problems? Like, everyone back home is dealing with Dad and his sickness and I’m here having fun with you and Nicola. It’s like I just left them all to take care of everything.”
Mateo had never intended to bring up his father. In fact, he’d fought hard to completely ignore his life back home. If he didn’t, he knew he’d never have fun here with Arthur. He’d spend every second worrying about his parents and siblings, missing all the incredible activities they’d done so far. But now he’d broken the dam and all of his feelings of guilt were flooding out.
“Mateo, you’re not ignoring your problems. You haven’t told me much about your home life, but from what I do know, it sounds like you give them every single second you have to spare. You care about them more than anything else. I mean, I’m assuming you work at the mall and at the art store to help out, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re always thinking about your siblings. Any of the other boys I’ve dated would’ve left for Vegas with Nicola and me two weeks ago. You had to make sure everyone you loved was taken care of before you gave yourself a break. Nicola asked me why you were so special,
and this is exactly why.”
Mateo groaned and turned his head, determined not to cry. Today wasn’t about him and his problems. It wasn’t a pity party. This was for Arthur, and here he was, making it all about his culpability.
Arthur gave his hand another reassuring squeeze. “Hey, look at me.” Mateo took a deep breath before he did so. “I’m happy you’re here with me. Even if we did nothing but sit on the couch and play my Switch, I’d want you here with me.”
“I’m sorry for getting gross and emo,” Mateo said, wiping at his eyes.
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s your family. I’m sure that’s a touchy subject for anyone. Hell, it is for me.”
Nicola’s words came back to Mateo. Arthur didn’t make a point to talk to his family with any of the men that he dated, but for some reason, he’d made an exception for him. He’d opened up about something personal because he was willing to trust Mateo.
“It’s really hard for me to talk about. I’m scared to lose my Dad.” He swallowed painfully and looked up at Arthur again. There really was no way to take these words back once he said them. Once he uttered them, the secret would be out. “I’m scared to lose him because…because I’m still not over losing my brother.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Mateo,” Arthur said. “If you want to talk…I’ll listen.”
But Mateo could tell that this was tough for him. He could only imagine what must’ve been going through the man’s mind. He’d only mentioned his brother offhandedly in the past, but if Mateo were in his shoes, he’d surely be thinking about losing his own family the way Mateo lost Angel.
“I was really little when it happened. My parents were the ones that found him, and—” Mateo reached for his glass of water and took a long drink, trying desperately to quell the throbbing ache in his throat. “They found him. They wouldn’t let me see too much, but I saw enough. I saw the blood and I knew. And we don’t talk about it. Nobody talks about it, not even when the kids ask about him and what he was like.”