by Pamela Ann
I heard him groan loudly as if I was setting him off.
“You got something to say?” My anger was rising, and for some reason, I couldn’t fucking control it. The past two nights had been fucking me up bad. I needed to race tonight—the rush, the sound of the engine, the adrenaline pumping in my veins—I was fucking desperate for it, and this bitch was getting in the way.
“Fuck!” he cussed out. “Let me call you back.”
“No!” I roared back, losing my edge. “Get. Him. Now!” I was one of the lead in the crew, and if he didn’t want to follow me, then he might as well walk away from it all because this shit wasn’t going to fly with me.
I heard him say another fuck before I heard some noise. While waiting for the flake to get on the phone, I concentrated on the white powder before me, lining up four perfect lines like a pro before I used the rolled up Benjamin to snort two in a row. I paused as I shifted my nose, making sure everything went down well before I inhaled the rest of the lines in a matter of seconds.
My life had been shit and this was the only thing apart from racing that was keeping me alive—making me feel alive. The rest of me was dead, dried up and stale… defunct.
I had rented out a house in The Sherman Oaks for Edith to live in while she did her holistic treatments. She needed me most of the time and I tried to cater to her as much as I could, but at times, I needed my space. I had my own demons to face and I wanted to do that alone, with no one around.
My apartment was located close by, only a fifteen-minute drive away. It was a short distance to travel without being hassled whenever she wanted to see me, which was all the time.
After declining chemo, it took me a good month to convince her to try something since she was simply ready to die. I wouldn’t have her give up that easily, though. I owed her that much at least.
I had promised to take care of her… and I wouldn’t fucking back down on that. Never.
I let out an angry hiss when Ro came back on the line and not Jet as I had requested.
“Fuck, Grey. Chill out, man! Jet’s preoccupied, bro. He’s dancing and shit.”
Was he for real? Yeah, right. “Get the fuck out! Jet doesn’t fucking dance! Now get him on the motherfucking phone.”
“He is. And he looks like he won’t be done soon, or with the girl he’s hooking up with.”
“Jet doesn’t get pussy-whipped.” It’s fucking impossible; he had admitted as much.
“Looks like he is now… with—uh—with the chick that used to hook up with…”
Who, Tiffany? He could have all of her. I didn’t care. Or any of those girls who readily opened their legs after a kiss or two.
“Who cares? Our boy’s been lonely; let him have a go at it.”
“Oh, yeah?” He chuckled, agreeing with me. “Does that mean I could hit on Olivia, too? ‘Cause she’s looking fine… I think Australia brought the sexy kitten out of her.”
I dropped the rolled Benjamin on the floor as I gritted my teeth. Except for her. No one messed with her except me.
“Olivia is always off-limits. Haven’t I drilled that into everyone’s heads since sophomore year?” I pulled my hair out as I stood up, hunting for my keys.
“That was high school, bro. We’re in college now. You didn’t give your warning this time.”
“Son of a mother fucking bitch!” I growled out before I told Ro not to warn Jet or Olivia. I wanted to see what the fuck those two had been up to.
Maybe it was time I paid them a visit. Olivia should’ve known better than to make me angry because, God help me, I wouldn’t be so forgiving this time.
Chapter 20
Liv
The song “Murder She Wrote” was on while Jet and I were having a blast dancing, showing off to see who had the best moves.
Jet then took the beer bottle from my hand before he took a sip, grinning at me as he then brought it to my lips and made me take one as well. I had barely just swallowed down the contents in my mouth when Jet was shoved to the side. When I spun around in shock, Greyson was about to punch him in the face, but Jet said something that made him pause mid-strike. His fist shook. He was red with rage before he said something that made Jet nod. All breath left my body when Greyson’s gaze immediately went to me. He started pacing towards me like an enraged bull.
“Grey,” I uttered in fright before he charged towards me, swiftly flung me across his shoulder, and then left the party scene while everyone witnessed, amused.
“Put me down!” I grumbled, feet kicking against his chest while I stared back then at the cemented road, wondering where he was taking me. “Greyson Edwards! Put me down, you stupid prick!”
He groaned, but didn’t say anything back to me. He marched down the hill as if it was no one’s business. A few passersby whistled and hollered it’s going down tonight while I winced in embarrassment and tried to cover as much as my skirt was exposing as possible. He then took a sharp turn in an alleyway where most students parked when there were no other spots left before he roughly tugged my body down, shoving me against the hood of a car. I didn’t even get a chance to cuss him out for his barbaric methods when he brought all hell out on me.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to fuck around with my crew, let alone my best friend, Olivia?” he bellowed into my face. “HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES?” His words echoed, screaming so loudly it vibrated into my bones.
Even last year, when he found me sleeping next to Jet, he was furious, but never like this. He looked like a possessed man ready to commit murder.
“Fucking answer me, you slut!”
My lips ran dry as I quickly tried to come up with an answer. At first, I was scared, then I was sorry before I finally felt the anger kick in. “It’s all in light fun!” I argued back, wanting to push his buttons some more. “Besides, it’s not my fault that your friend finds me attractive. They’re men and they have their needs.”
“Needs?” he screeched, veins bulging on his throat as he eyed me like a crazed man. “WHAT NEEDS?”
Seriously, I was looking at him—bored and drunk—and I had to admit, maybe feeling a little wickedly victorious that I had riled him up this much. I hadn’t seen him for almost a month, and it was atrocious to feel a little sense of importance over his coming out of hiding because of me “slutting” my way through his friends. It was great to see him again, even though he was eyeing me like I was the scum of the earth.
The familiar pang of sadness along with hurt and desperation awashed me once again. If I weren’t so drunk, maybe I’d have enough strength to bicker with him. I’d have a blast pushing him more to madness, however I was drunk and tired.
“Anyways… good to see you again. You’re still the same—emo as fuck,” I grumbled as I pressed my palm against the hood of his BMW to stand up.
It was what? Three in the morning? Yeah, time to go back home.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me! I’m not done talking!”
Well, that’s too bad. I shrugged, about to start walking, when I felt his arm wrap around the expanse of my waist, pulling me back in.
“Greyson!”
I made a sharp cry when a hard tug chafed the skin on the sides of my hips before he planted me back on top of the hood then threw my underwear into the air. I didn’t see where it landed.
My mouth was hanging ajar when I saw him pull down his zipper and take out his engorged cock, letting it sit in the crack of my thighs. My insides tingled as I stared at his hard dick, salivating at the sight of it… at the very heated, silky feel of it.
“When I ask you a question, you fucking answer, and not act like a high-maintenance princess who then decides to walk away from an unfinished conversation, either.” He harshly cupped my chin and brought it towards his face. “I think it’s time someone taught you a lesson. With your mom busy and your father not around, someone’s got to keep you in check, don’t you think? Every time you decide to be a brat, I’m going to fuck your brains out.”
; “You’re not serious…” I whispered, swallowing whatever saliva I had left to hydrate my extremely parched throat. Was it wrong that I was overjoyed to see him hard? That I was praying he’d fuck me raw until I couldn’t think anymore? I was crazy for him. It was as simple as that.
“Fucking you is always serious,” he grunted out as he dipped his head into the softness of my neck, panting like a dog as he started to make small, consistent thrusts that made his dick glide on my thighs, making me beyond voracious to have him inside me. “Have you missed my cock, Olivia?” He kissed the back of my ear lobe, and I shivered when I felt his bottom lip graze my skin.
Holy. Sweet. Mother. Of. Mercy.
When it came to seduction, Greyson had me at a glance. And he knew it, too. He used it to his advantage whenever he could.
“You can’t… keep doing this—” I gasped at the luxurious feel of him when he parted my legs open and I felt him sitting right in between my slit.
“This body is mine. I don’t care if you have a boyfriend or are married with a husband and kids. I would still take you, over and over again, until I’m dead,” he vowed as he gave both of my breasts a hard tug, making me yelp with surprise. He cupped my ass cheeks before rolling the ends of my skirt upwards all the way to my hips. Then he stretched my legs even farther, giving him full access to my body. “Mine, Olivia!” he hissed loudly into my ear before he used his hands that were cradling my bottom cheeks to intensely thrust them forward to meet his dick, impaling my body with one swift, severe stroke.
Oh.
Fuck.
My body was unprepared for his rough entrance. I felt like I was being ripped open as if I was a virgin all over again. My opening was wet, but it wasn’t wet enough to take all of him yet. When it came to his size, I needed a few moments to stimulate my body some more—possibly more heated arguments as our foreplay—but he hadn’t given me much this time. He simply just took, no questions asked.
“Why does your cunt feel so different than the rest, Olivia?” he groaned out, giving a few acute, mind-numbing thrusts that made my entire body quake. “I could nut all day long fucking this tight hole. The others just don’t do it for me. They don’t feel like they’re choking my dick like yours—” he gritted out, pausing to catch his breath before looking into my eyes. “Keep doing that. Pulse around my cock. Grip it harder.” I tried to meet his demand, but he was going for more. “HARDER!”
Holding my breath, I squeezed his shaft as hard as I could, prolonging his pleasure while he stared into my eyes with both of his hands cradling the back of my neck. He then started hammering into me. Each forceful thrust felt like the earth was shaking while his balls slapped against my anal entrance. The heady combination of being dominated, being fucked in the open with the risk of being caught, and simply writhing and panting for the man I had fallen in love with as he took all pleasure he could from my willing body, made me come in no time.
“Grey,” I moaned, digging my nails into his skin. My orgasm met his cock with rapid urgency as he hammered into me, making me come once. Twice. Thrice. In rapacious speed that shifted my world into darkness before I started seeing bright stars in the back of my eyelids as my heart screamed for him. “I love you.” I bellowed out, gushing with pure emotion. “God, I fucking love you!”
For a moment, I passed out, only waking up feeling like I was floating on thin air as I felt him expand inside me. Holding my breath, I prepared my body for his seed, craving the feel of him unloading his cream into my womb.
My name wrenched through his lips before he made his final thrust, streaming creamy rope after rope into my body. My legs were shaky, yet I didn’t complain because I cherished this sliver of compassion as he held me tight with his nose buried into my neck, just like how it was between us back in the day.
My tiny glimpse of happiness immediately came and went the second he decided to open his mouth.
“Fuck. Fuck—FUCK!” He kept on cursing, angry with himself. “FUUUCKKK…” He withdrew from me, making me even more self-conscious as I shakily forced my legs to shut.
Zipping himself up, he shook his head. “I wasn’t planning on having sex with you.” His tone was filled with shame.
My throat started closing up as I felt the saltiness of my tears in the back of my throat. I fought hard to squelch them back down. “Well, it happened.”
He barely gave me a glance before he stared past me, huffing out the heaviest sigh of all. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry…” I reiterated, pressing my lips together before I made a cruel, dry laugh. “God, he’s sorry. Did you hear that?” What a joke. “You’re sorry,” I repeated again as I stared at him coldly. “I just told you I love you… and all you have to say is that you’re sorry for fucking me?”
He didn’t give any reaction. Not a damn thing. He was so mercurial and what made it more difficult for me was the very fact that I had just laid my heart out there so he’d know where I stood, yet my effort was not even acknowledged. He went on pretending that it never had happened. It had taken me all this time to finally have enough courage to say the words, and the man on the receiving couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. Karma was one cruel fucker.
“It’s just sex, Liv.” Grey gave me a look like I should know better—that look men usually gave women to get a grip after a one-night stand. “What’d you think it was?”
This was the second time he had initiated sex with me, and on both counts, he was remorseful right after. At first, I thought it was because he regretted it due to him being married and all, but the more I saw his face—his eyes—I knew it was me. I realized that he could sleep with anyone and wouldn’t feel an ounce of regret, but when it came to me, he hated himself for lusting and wanting me still. He hated the life out of me. So how did I get myself out of this rut? The usual way I tend to go about it…
“I’m drunk… and I was imagining things.” I winced, wanting the security of my place. I looked down and double-checked everything on my skirt—that it wasn’t ripped or stained before I decided to stand up to leave him be. “From now on, I want you to stay away from me as much as possible. This is getting out of control. I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” I didn’t even give him one last look before taking my leave. I was a few feet away when he called out to me.
“Let me drive you home.”
What the hell for? I wanted to laugh but didn’t have any strength left to make another round of arguments. My emotional and mental capacity were at their limits after I was just blatantly rejected for telling him how I truly felt.
“I’m fine.”
“Olivia!” he called out after me.
I never looked back, nor was I tempted to. Tonight had been the most terrifying and embarrassing experience I had ever had to date. Bruised and defeated, I concentrated on my way home without shedding a tear. I wished there was a soul I could tell about any of this. The only person that I told most of my secrets to was the one I had also managed to push away, ignoring him for the past month.
Once I got home, I calmly took my time in undressing as I stared at myself in the mirror. Tears coursed down my face. My face had mascara streaks as I regarded myself for the first time, wondering when the feisty woman that had such full potential with a bright future ahead of her had become something like this? Pathetic, disgusting, ruined by a man who wanted nothing other than my body. How did I bring myself back up and be motivated to live again?
“You’re done. You’ve fucked everything up,” I whispered to myself as I eyed my naked body. Never had I felt this ugly and unwanted. Wasn’t it only less than an hour ago when I’d felt pure bliss, savoring its beauty as I opened myself up to him, freely giving away my body for his own pleasure and never feeling more beautiful and cherished?
That’s the thing with love, it made one delusional. I was so messed in the head I couldn’t differentiate which was which. I saw what I wanted to see. Felt what I wanted to feel. But no matter how I changed the equation, dressed and un
dressed it, the outcome remained the same—Greyson Edwards did not love me any longer.
Chapter 21
Grey
God how I hated her, but the idea of her walking alone at night left a sour taste in my mouth. So, as quietly as I could, I followed her home, watching as she wrapped her arms around her body with her head down, not even paying attention when she crossed the road, not seeming to care if there were oncoming cars. A couple of times, I was tempted to yell at her to watch out, yet I knew I shouldn’t. She was in a delicate state… as was I.
I patiently waited until she was safe in her apartment before I retraced my steps to my car. I had known where she lived. In fact, I had extra keys to her place after insisting to my father that it was for emergency purposes. At that time, I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was thinking, but somehow, I was relieved that I could access her anytime I wanted. The keys were left unused, though. I had contemplated a few times if I should come out to see her at night, just to check if she was fucking another guy. But every time I was about to, I remembered seeing her in her bathroom, legs wide open while Liam ate her up… The vivid image of her gripping his hair as she cried out for more made me halt my plan.
Olivia gifted me a telescope last Christmas, telling me that we’d have such fun stargazing and making out under the moonlight. We did all that and more. And as for the telescope, well, I used it to see her from time to time. Before she and I hooked up, I was already crazy for her. But after she gave me her virginity, I became obsessed, always needing to know everything she did.
The woman I fell hard for was a Jack of all trades. She was a terrific liar and a closeted slut. Her betrayals cut me to the core until I had no love left for her.
Edith, on the other hand, had always and forever stayed true to me. Marrying her meant nothing much for me, but it meant the world to her. I wasn’t a jackass to deny her that little happiness after how she’d been loyal to me all through the years. She promised and delivered about giving me freedom even though we were tied together. One thing she made me promise, though, was to never touch Olivia again. And I failed her. Twice. Guilt ate me up, however I’d deal with that when the time came.