“Shelby, I didn’t lie to you.”
“I wasn’t in my right mind or I would’ve asked.”
“Why does it matter?”
“It’s bad enough if I’m a burden on you, but my mother…especially when she hasn’t been nice—”
“Stop right there. You’re not a burden on me. Please stop saying that. You needed your mom with you in the hospital, and I got her there in the easiest, most efficient way.” I stop and study her while I carefully consider my next words. Shit, I can’t believe I’m about to ask this. She’s so skittish as it is. How the fuck do I phrase it without scaring her away? “Answer something for me.”
She raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“If we were married, would you have this much trouble accepting things from me?”
Her hand flies up, landing on her chest, and she stumbles back a step, bumping into the counter. “What?”
I take a step closer. “You heard me.”
“I…uh, I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I’m not trying to claim anything that isn’t mine. Your music business stuff was yours long before I showed up. But I also can’t sit by and say, ‘sucks for you if you can’t afford it’ when it’s easier for me to give you what you need. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
“What if I’m a huge failure and you end up drowning in debt because of me?”
“You’re only a failure if you stop chasing your dreams.”
“What if…” She glances down at her boots. “…if we don’t work out?”
A blast of cold gusts through my chest. Us not working out isn’t an option.
I gently squeeze her shoulders and she lifts her gaze. “If you want me to leave, just say so. I’ll take my toys and go home like a big boy. Promise.”
“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” she whispers.
Good, because I’m probably lying anyway. I’d never leave her stranded. More like, I’d hire someone to drive her around until the tour was over so she didn’t have to go back to living in the van with the rest of the guys.
Then I’d take my sorry ass home and figure out how to live in a world without the only woman I’ve ever loved.
Shelby
“You’re sure this isn’t too soon?” No matter how much Rooster reassures me, I can’t wrap my head around this enormous sacrifice he’s made. For me. Because of me.
He frowns and cocks his head. “Too soon for what?”
I glance around the space, still so overwhelmed. “For us to…well, it’s like we’ll be living together.”
He continues staring at me. “That’s the point.”
Shoot, I’m not trying to hurt his feelings. “I’m not always sunshine and sweet tea, you know.”
A smile teases the corners of his mouth. “Is that right?”
“Well, yeah. I get crabby when I’m tired. Moody.” I flick my gaze toward the small bathroom door. “Once a month, I go through an intense steak and Ben and Jerry’s binge. Hell help the person who gets between me and my Cherry Garcia.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and ducks his head. His big body shakes with laughter.
“I’m serious.” I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before. I have no idea what to expect or what he expects.
“Are you dipping the steak in the ice cream?” He tips his head and pins me with a half-serious stare. “Because that’s a deal-breaker for me.”
“No.” I shoot him a half-hearted glare. “They’re separate meals.”
“Phew.” He wipes a sarcastic hand over his forehead. “Close one.”
“All right, smart ass.”
His face settles into a more serious expression. “What are you really worried about?”
“I just told you. Living together. Out on the road. It’s stressful.” I glance down at my feet and pick at a thread on my jeans. “I don’t want us to end up hating each other.”
“Shelby.” He sighs and rests his hands on my shoulders. “I could never hate you.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“I’m not always Mr. Charm, either, you know.” He squeezes my shoulder gently. “We’ll make it work.”
“I don’t think I’m a diva but I can be particular about things.”
“You think I haven’t noticed?” He steps closer. “I enjoy all the little things that make you who you are.”
I slide my arms around his waist, leaning against him. “I’m still in a bit of shock. I really do love it,” I mumble against his shirt.
“Good.” He wraps one arm around my shoulders and turns us to face the kitchenette. “I’m going to use the next day or so to make a few modifications before we get on the road. If you think of anything that would make your life easier, let me know.”
I study the compact space around us. Everything looks so perfect. Clearly it was designed to get the maximum use out of every square inch. I can’t imagine messing with it. “What kind of modifications?”
He points to the wall next to the dining table and benches. “I want to install a secret compartment there.”
“Ooo, sounds very James Bond.”
“Not really. Just a place to store our valuables. The dealer does customizations but they couldn’t get it done before we have to leave.”
“Oh.” I step away from him, investigating the space with purpose. “I really don’t know what I might need.”
“Don’t stress about it. We can always stop at a home improvement store along the way.”
Across from the dinette, a television’s mounted to the wall. “Think I can make this a yoga space in the mornings?”
“We’ll find the room for whatever you need.”
Smiling up at him, I bump my shoulder against his arm. “Think you’ll do morning yoga with me?”
His lips curl up. “Let’s not get crazy.”
He’s already done so much, I probably shouldn’t push him. “Sorry.”
“I’m teasing.” He squeezes me tight.
The warm sensation flooding through my body cools. Worry digs its claws into my heart.
This has to be the best moment of my life.
But I can’t seem to squelch the terrified voice inside me that says this could be the ruin of our relationship.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rooster
That went better than I expected.
Should I be insulted or happy Shelby’s worried about us living together?
Honestly, until she put it that way, I hadn’t considered it as living together. I just want to be with her as much as possible while making sure she’s safe.
“So, you’re good?” I brush my knuckles over her cheek.
She swallows hard and slowly meets my eyes. “Overwhelmed. Excited too.”
Someone bangs on the door. Shelby jumps.
“Let’s see it!” Murphy shouts.
Shelby’s lips quirk with amusement. “Your brothers all knew, huh?”
“Well, I needed Jiggy to go with me and naturally he blabbed to everyone.”
She laughs softly and shakes her head.
I reach over and push open the door. “Heidi can come in. You stay outside, Ginger Yeti.”
Shelby playfully swats my side. “Be nice.”
Murphy snorts with laughter and follows Heidi up the steps.
Heidi’s gaze slowly slides over the space. “This is the coolest thing ever.” She pats my arm. “You’re a brilliant man.”
I flash a smile at Shelby. “I didn’t even ask her to say that.”
“You are brilliant.” She leans up and kisses my cheek. “And thoughtful. And—”
“Yeah, yeah. Rooster’s a peach,” Murphy grumbles. “Are we getting a tour or not?”
I walk them through the place, chuckling as Heidi oohs and ahhs over every detail. Until the shower.
“Ooof. That’s tiny. No shower sex for you two.”
“We’ll improvise.” Shelby winks at me.
I love this woman.
“There’s an ext
ra bed back there if someone needs to crash.” I point out the smaller guest space. While it’s not spacious by any means, it’ll be better than sleeping outside in a pinch.
Heidi eyes the distance between the guest bed and our bed up front. “That won’t provide you with much, ahem, privacy.”
Murphy peers down at her. “Something on your mind?”
“What? No.” Heidi’s cheeks turn pink. “Never mind.”
Shelby chuckles and takes Heidi’s hand, dragging her over to one of the built-in closets.
“This is something else, brother.” Murphy cocks his head and stares at me.
What does he expect me to say?
“It’s wildly romantic!” Heidi calls over her shoulder.
“Z know you’re gonna be on the road this long?” Murphy asks in a low voice.
“We talked about it before I left.” I’m not annoyed by the question. Not too much, anyway. “If anything, he encouraged me.”
He holds his hands in the air. “Cool. Not really my business.”
“Nah, of course it’s your business. We’re all each other’s keeper, right?” I poke him in the brother’s keeper patch stitched onto his cut. The patch we earn by killing for our club. I get his concern. He grew up around the club with Z as his vice president for years. Murphy’s one of the most loyal brothers, especially to Z. “He has a few things he wants me to check on while I’m on the road.” My explanation’s vague but enough to ease Murphy’s concern.
“I don’t think we’re going to get as far as Mississippi with you.” Murphy rubs his hand over the back of his neck.
“No worries, brother. I appreciate you coming at all.” I slap his back and steer him toward the door. “What do you think Ice has going on here tonight?”
“Hell only knows.”
Something pounds against the door. I swing it open and find Wrath filling the entire space.
“You can’t come in,” Murphy says. “There’s a weight limit.”
“Well, then you should definitely get out.” Wrath ducks his head and climbs into the RV, pushing Murphy away with a hand to his chest.
“Easy, big guy,” I warn, pointing up.
My head’s already flirting with the ceiling, so Wrath’s will definitely hit it if he tries to stand straight.
“Nice tuna can.” He nods, his gaze scanning the space quickly. “Trin and I talked about getting something similar. Good to know I’ll need the jumbo edition.” He clomps down the stairs back out into the parking lot. “See you went with a big boy truck,” he bellows in my direction. “Nice.”
Murphy chuckles. “He’s thrilled someone joined his GMC tribe.”
“He has a point.” I slap Murphy’s shoulder. “You can join too, if you ditch that F250.”
“Never.”
“Ahh, your love of motorized vehicles extends to those with more than two wheels, huh?” Shelby teases.
Heidi rolls her eyes. “My brother’s even worse. I’m convinced that’s why he bought Charlotte’s truck, so he’d have something new to play with.”
“Slick words from someone who got a Hellcat for graduation,” I remind Heidi.
She snuggles up to Murphy’s side. “I didn’t say I wasn’t spoiled. Or that I don’t love my car.”
Murphy leans down, kissing Heidi’s temple.
“What is that?” Shelby asks.
Heidi’s more than happy to show off pictures. “Next time you visit, we’ll have to take you out to Zips and you can take it for a few spins around the track.”
Murphy shakes with laughter and mouths “sorry” at me.
I shrug. As if I’d ever complain. If anything, I want to hug Heidi for making future plans that include Shelby spending time in New York.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Shelby
After showing off the RV to almost everyone, the guys are called into “church.”
Rooster takes my hand, pulling me aside. “I’m not sure how long we’ll be.”
“That’s okay.” I glance over at Trinity, who’s engaged in what seems to be a similar discussion with her husband. “We’ll entertain each other.”
“Thanks.” He leans down and slowly slides his lips against mine. For a few seconds, everything else melts away.
“Cock-a-doodle-do later, brother!” someone yells.
Rooster groans and pulls back. “Assholes,” he growls, glaring at the space behind me. I’m not sure who’s responsible for the taunt.
I reach up and pat Rooster’s cheek. “Have a good meeting.”
“I’ll try.”
The majority of the men have already disappeared behind the mysterious sliding doors that look like reclaimed barn wood. Before following the herd, Rooster and Murphy take Griff and Remy aside for what seems to be a serious talk.
“Probably giving them a list of instructions,” Trinity says, walking up to me. “Come on.” She motions toward some furniture scattered in the main room.
Trinity tucks herself into a corner of the couch with a magazine and Heidi takes the space next to her. I pull a comfy-looking, overstuffed chair closer to their end of the couch and sink into it. Griff confiscates a similar chair, placing it closer to the other end of the couch where Remy has taken up residence.
A girl who’d introduced herself as Rumer earlier drops into Remy’s lap and immediately runs her fingers through his hair. Heidi rolls her eyes and angles herself away from them.
I lean in closer to Heidi, hoping the guys can’t overhear me. “So, if we weren’t here, is that what—”
“Don’t date him if you can’t trust him.” Heidi flicks her gaze at Trinity who shrugs.
Not helpful, girls.
But I understand what Heidi’s saying. I guess the same goes for me. Rooster knows guys are all around me on tour. Either he trusts me, or he doesn’t.
Remy cocks his head and seems to be more interested in our conversation than in the girl whispering in his ear. No need for him to overhear my insecurity so he can joke about it later.
“You two don’t get an invite?” I ask, tilting my head toward Griff and nodding at Remy. I’m still not even sure why they came or how they fit into the club’s pecking order.
Remy shakes his head, ice-blue eyes glittering with mirth. “Nah, we’re here for moral support.” He flicks his gaze toward Griff. “Right, bro?”
“Huh?” Griff doesn’t look away from his phone. “Support, yes.”
Heidi drops her gaze to Griff’s phone. A slight flicker of amusement plays over her lips. “How’s Molly doing?”
Griff slowly tears his gaze away from his phone. “She’s good. Keeps asking me when you’re coming back to Zips.”
“Tell her I said hi,” Heidi says.
Griff nods and returns to his phone.
Remy scowls in his friend’s direction. “Why is my baby sister texting you instead of me?”
Unruffled by Remy’s sharp tone, Griff turns his screen toward him and wags the phone. “Probably because she knows I’ll actually answer her.”
Remy sits forward so fast, poor Rumer is thrown off his lap, landing on the floor in a heap, her short, silver skirt ending up around her hips. “What’s wrong?” Remy asks.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Griff eyes his friend with caution. “She’s at Zips with Ella.”
“Seriously?” Remy snaps the phone out of his friend’s hand and studies the screen before returning it. “I told Eraser to keep an eye on her, not let his wife give her racing lessons.”
“Ella is a good teacher.” Heidi grins.
Remy smirks in her direction. “Not the point, Little Hammer.”
“Little Hammer?” I ask. “Is that new, Heidi?”
Her gaze slips to Griff, then Trinity. Finally she shrugs. “Something the guys started calling me.” She taps a small patch on her vest and I squint to get a better look at the clover, crown, and hammer. “Rooster gave me this one. Murphy’s queen wields a hammer.”
“A mean hammer too,” Griff says, grinning at
her.
While I’ve witnessed Heidi carry a hammer for protection, I’ve never seen her actually use it on anyone. A shudder works down my spine. Probably a good thing. She may look sweet and innocent but I’ve definitely caught a ferocious vibe from her once or twice.
Trinity wraps her arms around Heidi’s waist, squeezing her tight. “I’ll still call you ‘little sister’ if you want.”
“Always,” Heidi says, resting her head on Trinity’s shoulder. I can’t deny I’m a little jealous at how close they seem to be. Focusing on my singing career hasn’t exactly left room in my life for making or keeping friends. And the time I spent on Redneck Roadhouse made it almost impossible for me to trust anyone who gets close to me.
Until Rooster.
“Why don’t you have one of those yet?” Remy’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I glance up and he points at Trinity and Heidi’s vests that have their property of patches on the back.
I blink and shift my gaze between Remy and the girls. “I…uh…” I stammer, not sure how to answer. Rooster once explained that property patches were similar to an engagement ring in his world. While Rooster mentioned the M word when he was showing me the RV, I don’t think we’re quite there yet.
It’s impossible to ignore the way my heart flutters at the thought, though.
Trinity throws a stern scowl at Remy. “That falls under club business, Remy. But feel free to ask Rooster when he plans to patch his ol’ lady.”
Damn, Trinity’s a protective lioness. And I’m feeling like her lil’ cub.
The smirk slides off Remy’s face.
“Does every club have them?” Griff asks, taking the attention off his buddy’s gaffe.
Trinity seems less annoyed by the more general question. “No. It’s something every club decides on their own.”
Griff flicks his gaze toward Remy. “I think it’ll be a deal-breaker for Vapor.”
Remy shrugs.
“You should really talk it over with Dex and Murphy,” Trinity suggests, the ‘leave me out of it’ clear in her tone.
So many questions pop in my head. But I’m not comfortable asking in front of the guys.
Lyrics on the Wind (Lost Kings MC Book 17) Page 21