Covet

by Rosanna Leo

  Dana tried to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. “I would have supported you however you needed it.”

  “No, baby. You would have made me sit on the couch, wrapped me up in soft blankets and would have fed me homemade chicken soup. You would have treated me like an invalid. What I wanted was someone to take me to a bar, encourage me to hook up with a stranger, and hold my hand while I went off the rails.”

  It sounded vaguely familiar. “Did you…hook up with a stranger?”

  “See? You’re already doing it.”

  Maybe Anise had a point. “You could have told me. I would have tried.”

  “Dana, you frown if I ask for a second drink.”

  “You make me sound like a prude.”

  “You are, but you’re my prude.”

  Prude. Hmm. If only she knew.

  Anise rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry I kept you in the dark. If it makes you feel better, I’d really love some of that nurturing this week.”

  “Of course. Whatever you need. Wait. Do Mom and Dad know?”

  Anise grimaced.

  “Shit, really? Everyone knows except me?”

  Jessica and Bea returned to the table with a few snacks. “I see Anise finally told you,” said Bea.

  “We told her she should,” said Jessica.

  Dana crossed her arms and then uncrossed them. She didn’t want to pout, but it was hard not to when her sister thought she was some sort of rampaging schoolmarm.

  “Will you forgive me?” asked Anise.

  “Yeah.” If Anise hadn’t come to her for support, then clearly Dana had failed her as a sister. She supposed she could be a little judgmental at times. God knows she’d been judging herself ever since that night with Alex.

  That would stop today.

  This week was for Anise and she would make sure she got whatever she needed. Besides, Dana could hardly blame her for keeping secrets. “I guess we all keep secrets from time to time.”

  “No more,” said Anise. “I promise.”

  Dana’s secret burned a hole in her gut, but she swallowed in an attempt to ease the burn. She definitely couldn’t unload that shit on Anise now. “What now?”

  “Now? I just want to forget about Roman for a week and I’m counting on you to help me with that. And maybe look the other way if I decide to bring a football team back to my suite.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “That was a joke and you’re doing it again.”

  “Oh, sure, blame the prude, but I was the one who had to help you home after a few too many wild college parties.”

  “I know and I appreciate it. You kept track of me in my wilder days.” Anise looked around the bar. “Hey, there are some fine specimens around here. Maybe I’ll meet my next husband.”

  “You don’t need another husband,” said Bea. “And you certainly don’t need to look for him in Las Vegas. See those men at the bar, the ones flirting with the bartender? They all have wives at home, guaranteed.”

  “You’re probably right,” said Anise. “Still, it would be fun to feel some sizzle again. Some chemistry. I think that was part of the problem with Roman. We grew too comfortable with each other. We had no spark.”

  Dana shook her head. “Your issue with Roman wasn’t chemistry. Your issue was him keeping it in his pants.”

  “Yes, but even before that, we had problems. I think I traded romance for security. I don’t ever want to make that mistake again.” Anise paused, deliberating. “If I ever remarry, it has to be because I feel passion. Fireworks.”

  Dana remembered the way her belly flopped around Alex Markov. Pure chemistry.

  Don’t be silly. You were just excited because he caught you off guard and gave you a suite.

  “Fireworks, huh?”

  “Is it too much to ask?”

  “No.” Dana patted Anise’s hand. “It isn’t too much to ask at all.”

  “I thought about it long and hard one night. Do you know what I realized? I couldn’t remember the last time Roman and I kissed on the lips.” A soft sound emerged from Anise’s throat, the faintest of sad giggles. “How sad is that?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. What’s done is done. Make sure you treasure what you have with Tommy. Not everyone has that kind of love.”

  Oh, yeah. Enduring love. That’s what she had with Tommy.

  This was probably the ideal time to spill her own secret, but she couldn’t. If she started talking about Tommy, she’d have to tell them about what Dr. Batra said, and there was no way she was opening that can of worms. Their week of fun would turn into seven long days of misery.

  “How is he, by the way?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “Still trying to move up the wedding date?”

  It was hard to answer her sister’s questions without actually lying. “Listen, enough about Tommy and me. This week is for you.” She appealed to the other women. “Isn’t that right?”

  “Yeah!” Jessica clapped her hands. “When can we go see the male strip tease? I brought lots of coins to weigh down their G-strings.”

  “Speak for yourself,” said Bea. “I want to hit the casino. Mama’s got a lot of bills. Maybe I can get Alex Markov to pay them off for me.”

  “Maybe he will.” Anise laughed. “Hey, I hear lots of celebrities stay at Vice. What if we run into Idris Elba?”

  “No, mija,” said Jessica. “I’m keeping my eyes peeled for Chadwick Boseman.”

  “You never know.” Bea smiled “This week is all about letting loose and having new experiences, right?”

  “We’re in Vegas, ladies,” said Jessica. “No inhibitions, no regrets.”

  Dana stood and raised her glass. “To Vegas and to letting loose. All of us. Even the prude.”

  Anise followed her lead. “To Dana. I shouldn’t have called you a prude. You’re just careful and I love that about you. Thank you for arranging this week, and thank you for being such a good sister.” Her eyes misted. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you very much, and I’m really sorry I kept the truth from you. You’ve always been my champion and my superstar, and I’m so proud of you. You’re a wonderful woman and you’re going to make a great mom one day.”

  “To Dana,” Jessica and Bea echoed.

  “Thank you.” Dana swallowed the lump in her throat, clinked glasses, and motioned for them to sit down. “We’re going to have a great week. Lots of fun. No sadness. No judgment. Those are the rules.”

  “I like those rules.” Anise sipped her drink. “If it feels good, let’s do it.”

  “Let’s do it,” echoed Dana.

  As the women finished their cocktails, Dana’s words came back to haunt her. As much as she tried to dislodge the ball of sandpaper in her throat, it continued to itch. She excused herself. “I’m going to get a glass of water. Anyone else want one?”

  Jessica rose. “I’ll come with you.”

  Dana tried to crack a smile as they walked to the bar. “I would have thought you were tired of water. You’ve been drinking Perrier since we got here. Don’t you want something more exciting?”

  Jessica lowered her voice. “I can’t.” She tugged on Dana’s sleeve and pulled her to the far end of the bar. “Oh, Dana. I’m bursting to tell someone but I don’t want to steal Anise’s thunder this week. I can’t have any cocktails. I’m pregnant.”

  “Pregnant. Oh. That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.” Jessica’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “We weren’t even trying. My mother says the women in our family are blessed with baby-making genes. Men just need to look at us a certain way and, bam, out comes a baby.”

  Dana tried to think of a response but couldn’t.

  “Hector and I are so happy. We had planned to wait another year or so, but now’s as good a time as any. Anyway, like I said, I don’t want to monopolize the conversation with baby talk, but the girls will notice I’m not drinking alcohol. I was hoping you might run interference for me. You kno
w, help me change the subject if someone brings it up.”

  “Of course. You can count on me.”

  “Thanks. It’s still early in the pregnancy so I don’t want to jinx myself by telling everyone. I’ll let Anise and Bea know soon.”

  “Sure. Makes sense.” Dana’s eyes began to burn. “Um, are you okay going back on your own? I need to use the ladies’ room.”

  “Yeah. Thanks for listening, and for you know.” Jessica rolled her eyes toward her stomach and giggled. She grabbed their waters and headed back to the table.

  Dana walked through the lobby, keeping her head high. Her eyes decided this was a perfect time to betray her and filled with water. Moving quickly, she rounded a corner and slid into a quiet alcove by one of the shop entrances. Facing the wall, keeping her face turned from prying eyes, she bit her lip and breathed in and out.

  I will not cry. I will not cry.

  She hadn’t cried yet and didn’t want to. She had been managing to hold it in, but between her own situation, Roman’s betrayal, and Jessica’s pregnancy, her emotions refused to be contained.

  She couldn’t fall to pieces now. Anise needed her support. The least she could do was toe the line for a week.

  Just one week of putting on a brave face.

  She could come apart later.

  You can do this.

  Just as she convinced herself she was in control of her emotions, another gurgle sounded from her belly. Dana touched it, amazed and angry and horrified at the same time.

  Men just need to look at us a certain way and, bam, out comes a baby.

  Jessica was Tommy’s kind of woman.

  “I fucking hate you, Tommy,” she whispered. Once more, the tears threatened. “Stop it. Keep your shit together.”

  There was no room on her agenda for tears and regret. God help her, she would somehow find it in her to have the best goddamn week of her life. She would take every opportunity, would seize every moment, drink every drink, and experience all the pleasures the Strip had to offer.

  Even if it killed her.

  With a discreet swipe, Dana wiped her eyes and turned around.

  Alex stood before her, a respectable distance away. His brow furrowed when he saw her face. “Dana, are you okay?”

  Oh, my. This is it. Breathe. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine.”

  “It’s just…allergies. I’m not used to being around so much cigarette smoke.”

  “Allergies. Right.” He took a step toward her. “The smoke can be thick in places.”

  “Exactly. Anyway, I’ll see you around.”

  “Dana, wait.”

  She stood still. “Alex, before you say anything, I should apologize.”

  “You don’t need to.”

  “No, I have to. That night at Joe’s…I wasn’t in a good place. I’ve never run out on anyone like that. Hell, I’ve never done anything like that.”

  “I know. You had a rough day. It got intense. I get it.”

  “I didn’t mean to leave you hanging. Everything overwhelmed me. I needed some air, so I went outside for a minute. Once I went out, I couldn’t go back in. I ran.”

  “It’s okay. Things happen. I was just worried it was something I did or something I said.”

  “No. It wasn’t you at all. In fact, in a strange way, I think you were just what I needed.”

  “Okay.”

  “I don’t mean to sound like I was taking advantage. I just wanted to—”

  “You wanted to forget.”

  “You remember?”

  “I remember everything.” He took another step toward her. “As much as I’ve tried not to.”

  Her lungs stopped functioning for a moment. Heavy and useless, they hung in her chest.

  “Look,” he said. “There’s no need to feel badly. We can be friends, right?”

  “Sure. Friends.”

  “Good. As your friend, and your host for the week, I should probably ask if your suites were okay.”

  “They’re beautiful. Thanks again. My sister and her friends are really happy about them.”

  “I’m glad.” He paused, considering her face. “And yet you’re crying.”

  “I’m not—” There was no sense lying. He’d seen through it. “It’s just been a long day.”

  “Anything I can do?”

  “No. If only it was that simple.”

  “I’d like to try.”

  “I appreciate it, but there’s nothing you can do. This is one problem that can’t be solved by bumping me to a fancier room.”

  Alex stood still, gnawing on the inside of his cheek, as if he didn’t like her answer. “Is it Tommy?”

  “Boy, you really do remember everything.” Unlike some men she’d known, whose eyes glazed over when she talked for more than a minute at a time.

  “I pay close attention when I’m interested in something.”

  Interested, right. He was probably just hoping to get lucky again. Any other man would be. Perhaps he thought he could take her for a spin in one of the Vice bathrooms too.

  “I thought about you. A lot.”

  “Our time at Joe’s was very nice.”

  “Very nice?” He put a hand over his heart. “Wow. Are you trying to wound me?”

  “I’m sorry. This is surreal.”

  Why was he still standing there? Anyone else would have seen her crying and would have run for the hills. In her experience, most people didn’t do heavy emotion well.

  Come to think of it, she was having a bit of trouble with heavy emotion herself. Maybe she was the one who should be making a run for it.

  Alex saw into her somehow, but there were things she didn’t want him to see.

  “What’s surreal?”

  “When we hooked up, I had no idea who you were.”

  “I know.”

  “You could have told me.”

  “I was laying low. Besides, what should I have told you exactly? Neither of us seemed keen on giving out information that night.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  “Should we start over?”

  “I guess it depends what we’re starting.”

  He ignored her quip and held out his hand. “I’m Alex Markov. Nice to meet you.”

  “Dana Hamill. Nice to meet you too.”

  “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? By the way, how’s your sister doing?”

  “As well as can be expected, considering we’re celebrating the death of her marriage.”

  “Did you know the guy?”

  “Yeah. I liked Roman. I mean, I only see him about twice a year, but we always got along.” She paused, not wanting to reveal too much to a stranger, and yet wanting to unburden herself at the same time. “He cheated, the son of a bitch.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. I just found out. I’m still wrapping my head around it. I don’t understand why he’d do it. My sister is a good woman, a total catch. She’s smart and attractive and fun. What did he see in this other woman that he didn’t see in her?”

  “I wish I could answer that.”

  “There probably isn’t an answer.” Dana threw up her hands. “Why do men do that? Why is it they can’t be happy with what they have? He has a perfectly good woman in front of him, someone dedicated to his happiness, and he throws it all away. Men are pigs.” When Alex’s face darkened, she realized she might be lobbing too much verbal diarrhea in his direction. “I’m sorry. Some men. Not all of them. That came out wrong. This whole situation sucks.”

  “It’s okay. You have a right to feel that way. As for your question, I don’t know why some people cheat. There’s no excuse for it. I suppose they do it because they can.”

  “Your honesty is refreshing.”

  “I don’t like lies. They don’t serve anyone.”

  “It sounds as if you’ve been lied to once or twice.”

  “Haven’t we all?”

  Tommy had said he’d love her forever. He’d lied. �
��Boy, I bet you never expected to have this conversation when you saw me.”

  “Maybe not, but I’m glad we did. Frankly, after the past few weeks, I’m happy to have any conversation with you.”

  This man. Who was he? Every word out of his mouth felt like a hug. She crossed her arms, trying to fend off the imagined embraces.

  “So I guess I shouldn’t be keeping you from your party.”

  Dana sighed. “I really should get back to my sister.”

  Alex stepped aside so she could pass.

  “Thanks for listening, Alex. I didn’t mean to spill my guts like that.”

  “I don’t see any messes here.”

  He must need his pretty green eyes checked. She started to make her way down the hallway.

  “Dana?”

  “Yes?” She turned about quickly, probably a little too quickly.

  “If you ever want to talk, I’m here. Literally, I’m always here.”

  “Aren’t you busy running a hotel?”

  “I’m never too busy to help my guests.”

  “Is that so? You must be dedicated to your work.”

  “What can I say? I’m a people pleaser.” Even though his face remained serious, merriment made his eyes sparkle.

  “And you feel a need to please me, huh?”

  He stood very still, like a wolf whose keen nose had just detected the scent of a doe with a broken leg.

  She cleared her throat. The comment had sounded innocent in her head, but when it spilled out of her, it was accompanied by images of Alex gripping her hips as he thrust inside her.

  His eyes narrowed but he didn’t respond. Instead, his gaze dropped toward her collarbones and then slowly traveled back up. “Have a good day, Dana.” With that, he left her in the alcove.

  Once he was out of earshot, Dana grunted. “What’s wrong with you? And you feel a need to please me? Where the hell did that come from?”

  Her mortification, though searing, didn’t last long.

  It was the other fire that bothered her, the one that burned in Alex’s eyes.

  ***