I grinned back at him.
He looked confused for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of us as Sam helped me into my chair. Old fashioned and chivalrous is my Sam.
“And yet here you are together anyway, as if it was ordained. And planning something devious by the way you keep looking at each other.”
I swallowed hard, knowing I was blushing. Dad had once mentioned that Marcus worked for the Palma Federated States’ Internal Security Service as an intelligence officer before becoming a biology professor. Dad had warned me that he still reads people.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Damn, girl, you’re worse at lying than your father, and that’s saying something.”
Winona tried to distract him for me. “I’m sure you’re just seeing the effects of her being with Sam, worrying about finals next month, and uncertainty about our future. Nothing more. My name is Winona Killdeer, by the way.” She stuck her hand across the table at him.
He took it and bowed his head slightly to her. “You, on the other hand, are really good. Let me know if you’re ever interested in living on a more civilized planet. I have some old friends who would love to meet you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” She tapped the menu card in front of her, scrolling through the selections. “I was thinking of trying the Mexican chocolate stout. Have you ever had one?”
He grinned, shaking his head at her. “Peace. I’ll let them go for now. Try the tesgüino. I think you’ll like it better.”
We made it through dinner and dropped Winona off at her folks’ house two hours later with a growler full of tesgüino. I was home again, my room looking unchanged from when I had last been there, complete with a messy pile of clothes on the floor, and my poster showing the evolution of starship engine design above the bed.
The plan was for Sam to sleep in a guest room in the basement, if I ever let him get there, if I ever let him sleep. I had plans for him first. We were cuddled up in the glow from the fire pit out on the patio, Sam lying on his back on a lounge chair with me mostly on top of him, very much out of uniform, and keeping his mouth busy with mine. I didn’t dare go back in the house yet. My parents and I can feel each other’s emotions from fifteen meters away. I worried that Sam’s hands caressing me under the blanket we were sharing would significantly increase the range. It seemed possible that Winona could feel them at her house a kilometer down the road.
I sighed, moving my head to his shoulder.
“You seem happy and contented.” He wrapped his arms tighter around me.
“Not yet, but I plan to be soon.”
“Soon like in a few minutes, or do you mean Saturday?”
“Umm. Both would be nice.”
He kissed my hair. “We should invite your parents.”
“For a few minutes from now? That doesn’t seem appropriate.”
He chuckled. It sounded warm and comforting with my ear pressed against him. “I mean on Saturday. Leaving them out doesn’t seem right.”
“I know. I was thinking the same thing. But I’m going to wait until the last minute to tell them. And we should have invited your mom.”
“I’ll explain it to her somehow. She’s used to me doing stupid things.”
“Oh, so you think marrying me is stupid now?” I bit his neck gently, but not too gently. I felt the shiver run through his brain and could almost see what it made him want to do to me.
“Are you trying to pick a fight with me again, MD?” He moved his hands lower down on my back, then lower still, pulling me completely on top of him while he kissed hard on my shoulder. “Because I’m ready for you.”
“I noticed. Go ahead, do your worst.”
“Afterward, will you finally let me get some sleep?”
“No promises.”
He flipped the blanket up over the top of us and his hands slowly and gently drifted to where I needed them to be. Between the giggles and the moans, it didn’t take long at all before we were both comfortable and contented.
Winona woke me up the next morning just as she did every weekend when we were kids, banging around downstairs in the kitchen fixing breakfast and talking too loudly with my dad. The five hours of sleep we’d managed on a good night at the Academy was about right for her. I’d survived for six years on an endless river of coffee. For a moment, while I was trying desperately to fall back asleep, I thought it must be Saturday, and then I realized where I was and what was going on. It was Winona, but she was talking too loudly with Sam, not my dad, and it was only Friday. I struggled for a moment between my love for Sam and for my pillow.
Sharlot settled it for me. “Mala Dusa, Sam and Winona are wondering if you plan to sleep all day.”
I whimpered a little. If Sharlot was on their side, any attempt at further sleep was futile. I always suspected that Dad had altered her programing specifically to get me up in the mornings.
“Tell them I’m on my way to the shower and I’ll be down in a minute.”
“You’re still in bed.”
I sighed. Dad had named her after a journalist that had passed through our city over five hundred years ago and called us a “third rate mining camp.” Every bit of that woman’s stubbornness, cynicism, and skill with sarcasm had made it into the AI matrix.
“Please, just tell them.”
“Winona says to come down just as you are. Take a shower later.”
Winn knew that I never wore anything when I slept. Sharlot did a good job of relaying the message. I could hear the smirk. I threw my covers onto the floor and stood beside the bed stretching.
“On second thought, you may want to try putting on a robe or something. Just saying. There’s a gentleman downstairs.”
“Thanks, Sharlot. I’ll do that. And that’s my gentleman that’s down there.”
“Are you sure? You should hurry it up a bit, then. I think he’s starting to take an interest in your friend.”
“Taunt all you like. I know what’s mine.”
I put on a pair of soft pants and a t-shirt, then opened my door.
“What about your hair? It’s kind of a mess.”
“You said to hurry and to ‘come as you are’. So…I’m coming.”
“Pah. Your funeral.”
There were smells as I came down the stairs. Coffee, bacon, and something sweet. I entered the kitchen, bare feet on cold tiles, and hugged Sam, burying my face into his neck. “You made me waffles.”
“Winona made waffles. I did coffee.” He placed a warm mug in my hands when I pulled back from him. “You smell sleepy. This should help.”
I hugged Winona. “You made me waffles.”
“Love the hair, Duse.”
I knew she was teasing, but Sam was looking at me and his feelings had nothing to do with teasing. He liked it when I was tousled. If the Lord granted us a normal life together, I was going to have to buffer in some extra time every morning for him to show his appreciation.
“So what’s the plan for today?” I asked between sips of my second cup and bites of Sam’s waffle, mine having disappeared in just three or four bites. “Do we have time to cause trouble somewhere before the party?”
Winn tipped her head at me and looked at the ceiling. Sharlot answered for her.
“As I already explained to your friends, I have explicit tasking for each of you from Hannah. She plans to return by 13:30 and expects you to have completed each line item by then. To ensure no lapses, I’ve placed a copy with estimated durations on your display pads.”
I heard a soft ding from Sam and Winona’s pockets, and from my pad that was sitting on the table.
“Ooo, look. Balloons.” I tipped the screen toward Sam.
“You’re going to get your screen sticky again,” Winona warned me.
“OK, let me put on something less com
fortable and we can get to work. Sharlot, I have a task for you to be working on while we’re getting the house ready for tonight.” I tapped on the display, brought up an old file and slid it over onto the ogre-faced icon that I used to represent our household AI.
“Do you see this?” I asked her.
“I do.”
“I would like a copy of the dress that the bride is wearing, sized for me.”
There was a long pause, whether for dramatic effect or because she was doing something in the background, I didn’t know. “The wedding dress that Alice wore when she married your father? What are you planning on doing with it?”
“I’d like to have it before 06:00 tomorrow. Can you print it for me?”
Another long pause. “Mala Dusa, you will be absolutely beautiful in this dress. It will be a great privilege for me to create it for you and I can’t wait to see you in it.”
“Thanks. And please don’t mention it to my parents. I’ll tell them about it at the right time. Like tomorrow morning, a couple of hours before the ceremony.”
A sniffling sound came from somewhere.
Sam looked at me, concerned. “Is she…crying?”
I shrugged. “Mom goes into her code all the time and messes with it. Yeah, I think she’s crying. But she knows how to keep a secret, which is good because there’re too many people that know about this already.”
CHAPTER 3
THE PARTY
We were all soaking in the pool when Mom got home at 13:30. The air temperature was only about fourteen, but the pool was heated to a comfy twenty-seven. I watched her approaching through the steam rising from the surface with just my eyes and nose sticking up out of the water.
She slipped off her shoes and sat on the edge, making little splashes with her feet. “Sharlot says you did an adequate job, and it does look good. The black balloons are a nice touch.”
I was tempted to grab her foot and try to drag her in with us. She needed to relax, I could feel her trying to let go of something stressful. “Join us. The water’s perfect. See?” I splashed some of it on her legs so she could see.
“Maybe later. I have a few things to do before the caterers get here at 17:00. Thank you all for doing this.” She stood, carrying her shoes in one hand. “I’ll be in the back office if you need anything before then.”
The back office. The one room in our house that Sharlot couldn’t control or even access. Mom may have taught Sharlot to keep secrets, but her office was a different story. I knew there was a secure comm link in there, but that was about all I knew.
Winona swam up next to me. “Ms. Weldon, is there anything I can do to help?”
“Ms. Killdeer, I wish you could. We’ll have that conversation next month after graduation. OK?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
My mouth was open and I was trying to get my brain back working again as I watched Mom walking away. “Winona, we applied to do our first tour of duty together, remember?”
“I remember. The group your mom works with wants to interview me. That’s all, just talk.”
“Why do they need an astrophysicist?”
“Do you even know what your mom does?”
Sam was next to me now, trying to keep me from freaking out. It wasn’t working.
“No, no one knows. She’s supposed to be a linguist for the government, and she knows a bunch of languages, but she also knows way more about people from different planets than she should. And somehow, she keeps getting hurt, and sooner or later, she’s going to get killed. You can’t go, Winn. You can’t go anywhere that takes you more than twenty meters from me. I need you.”
“Breathe, Duse. Nothing’s been decided.”
Sam was rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. He turned to Winona. “I’ve met some of the people that work in the same organization as her, the Department of Cultural Intelligence. I probably shouldn’t have told you that, so pretend I didn’t say it. You need to be careful. Make sure you understand what they’re offering you and what you’d have to do. The door into the Intelligence Community only opens one way.”
“I don’t think that’s always true. A couple of my professors worked for the DCI and they…” Winona blushed, a rare event. “I’m an idiot. They hide it almost perfectly, but they still work for the DCI.”
Winn looked longingly up toward the house. She was letting me feel the desire in her because she was too distracted and excited to block me. She wanted to jump into that world, know its secrets, and make a difference the same way Hannah was making a difference. I was losing her.
“Damn it.” I pulled myself out of the water and walked toward the house, not bothering to get dressed or even to wrap a towel around myself.
Sam started to follow me, but Winona stopped him. “Let her go. She needs to have this out with Hannah.”
Damn right I did.
I raised my fist to pound on her office door, thought better of it, and tapped gently. I looked down at the puddle I was leaving on the floor that I had spent the morning cleaning. “Sharlot, can you spot clean this for me?”
“Of course, Mala Dusa. I’ll start as soon as you’re done dripping.”
The door opened and Mom stared at me, looking irritated. She stepped into the hall, closing the door behind her. “You’re going to freeze. Come with me.”
I followed her into the family room and she wrapped one of the throws that we keep on the couch around my shoulders. “Sit.”
I sat. “You can’t have her.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Winona? She’s a big girl. A bright, no, a brilliant young woman. You know full well that there’s no one else quite like her. She can make her own decisions.”
“She worships you.”
Mom nodded, frowning. “I know. What would you have me do? Not even give her the chance to do something she’d excel at, that she’d love doing? You’re a brilliant young woman too, but you’re an addict.”
“I haven’t been drinking as much this semester.”
Her head tipped far to the right. “I didn’t know that was a problem, and you and I are going to have a long talk about it later. What I meant is your addiction to Winona.”
I felt myself folding inward. “It’s really only been since Bridger.”
“Ah. Winona told me about the panic attacks. And this morning she showed me the Award of Merit you earned. Can you talk about it?”
“Sure. I’m usually OK for a few weeks after an episode like I had yesterday.”
“You know why they gave it to you, don’t you?”
“For the armor and the technique to use it.”
“No.”
I felt myself fold inward a little more. “The certificate says I helped bring three worlds back into the Union.”
“Yes. Eight hundred million people. Your contribution was critical.”
I shrugged.
“Do you even believe in what the Union stands for?”
“Yes, I do,” I answered firmly. “Individual rights, political and economic freedom. I spent an entire year doing a pre-law study of the legal codes and criminal justice system. I know it’s worth fighting for.”
“Would you want to live somewhere that abolished those rights? Bridger didn’t have an election to decide to leave the Union. A small group representing maybe twenty percent of the population seized power and threw the planet into chaos, probably with help from one of the bad Tarakana colonies. They killed everyone that opposed them. Did you know that? They killed five thousand prisoners when they took the capital, giving no quarter to those that surrendered. The resistance fighters that we supported started calling it “giving Bridger’s quarter”, killing like that, without mercy. There were parades celebrating reunification when it came.”
“Bridger’s Quarter. There were no survivors on those ships. I killed over six hundred people, some yo
unger than me. There should have been a better way.”
“They got on those ships knowing the risks. You’re like Alice. You think you can convince, and scheme, and manipulate people to get what you want without shedding any blood. It’s a fantasy.”
“You reach for your sword too easily.”
“I do. You’re right. I know that about me. When I see something I can do to help people, I go do it. I don’t study it to death.”
“There’s too much death.” I looked down and whispered, “Too much blood on my hands. I’ve got to find a better way.”
“I don’t remember you losing any sleep when we killed Steiner or when Janus Boden spent a year strapped to the side of a Trade Guild ship. The outside.”
The events leading up to Steiner’s death had left me shaking too badly to walk, and then Boden had tried to kill me and everyone I loved. I smiled, remembering the sight of Boden’s desiccated corpse strapped below the Winged Lion of Venice, a warning from the Guild to all who would try to restrict free trade.
“They were monsters, and I still have nightmares. I found a way to avoid killing the thousands you had planned to kill.”
“What would you say if I told you that all of the crew on those FACs were like Steiner and Boden?”
“I wouldn’t believe you. I read some of their profiles.” I shivered, but managed to control it, trying not to fold inward all the way again.
“Winona told me about that too. That was a mistake.”
“Mom, am I a coward?”
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