by Lydia Dare
“Cait, I’m no’ goin’ anywhere. I doona ken how many times I have ta tell ye.”
“But I’ve seen it, El. And if ye go off with him, back ta England, the Còig will fall apart. We have ta have all of us.”
Elspeth sighed. “I think ye’re puttin’ the cart before the horse. He hasna asked me ta go ta England with him. He’s just lookin’ ta be healed. After that, he’ll go back ta where he’s from.” She glanced down at her mark. She was connected to him, though. Would distance matter? A year from now if he touched his mark, would she feel it?
“He will ask ye, El.”
Even if he did, she couldn’t go. She wouldn’t fit into his world. “Cait, this is my home. It’s all I ken. Ye’ve known me my whole life. Do ye honestly think I’d run off ta London?”
Caitrin looked over El’s shoulder toward the window. “Aye. I’ve seen it.” Then she focused her eyes on Elspeth. “Ye ken I love ye and I want the best for ye?”
“Aye.”
Her friend smiled wistfully. “Good. Because I’m no’ givin’ up on ye. If yer mother stayed with the coven despite mama’s vision, I’ll fight ‘til the end of time for ye.”
“Cait—”
She waved her hand as she rose from her seat. “Doona even think ta stop me. Ye’re the closest thing I have ta a sister.”
The others would probably have been offended if they’d heard that, but Elspeth knew the words were true. From their youngest of years, the two of them had been closer than the others. Caitrin threw her arms around Elspeth’s neck. Then she stepped away. “He’s been outside ever since I arrived. I suppose I should leave ye.”
Elspeth gaped at her friend. She was just going to leave her with Ben after all this? “What happened ta fightin’ for me ‘til the end of time?”
“Oh, if he tries anythin’, I’ll ken it. Then I’ll ask Alec MacQuarrie ta toss him out on his ear.” With that Caitrin walked across the room, opened the door, and strode out into the night. “I ken ye’re out here, Westfield,” she called. “No need to hide like a dog.”
Ben stepped out of the shadows, a look of boredom pasted on his face. “Ah, Miss Macleod, what a pleasure it is to see you again.”
“Just so we’re clear, Westfield, if ye do anythin’ ta hurt Elspeth, I’ll see ye boiled in a cauldron of oil.”
“With your scintillating personality, Miss Macleod, it is easy to see how you’ve charmed so many admirers,” he responded drolly.
She tipped her nose high in the air with a wicked smile. “Just remember what I said.”
Ben didn’t even watch the haughty chit disappear into the darkness, as his eyes were focused on Elspeth. Her hair hung wildly about her shoulders, and the fire from the hearth inside gave her a radiant glow. She stepped toward him, a pretty blush staining her cheeks.
“I’m sorry about that.”
Ben smiled in return. “Not to worry, love. Miss Macleod doesn’t bother me.” Then he ushered her back inside the cottage.
She gestured for him to sit on the worn settee, then vanished into the kitchen area. “Good, the tea is still warm,” she called.
Ben looked around the small room. Again it struck him that she deserved more. Before he could expound on that thought, Elspeth turned the corner with two mugs of tea, offering him the unchipped one. “Chamomile and blueberry,” she said.
“Blueberry?” Ben echoed. It smelled delicious.
“Aye, blueberries encompass the aura of the moon. Ye should eat some the night it’s full.”
Ben chuckled. “You think blueberries can heal me?”
Elspeth took a sip of hers. “I doona think it can hurt.”
She did have a point. He took a swallow and closed his eyes, savoring the flavor in his mouth. He’d never had more delicious tea. “So,” he finally said, “are you going to tell me why Miss Macleod despises me?”
Elspeth shrugged and dropped her eyes to her lap. “Cait thinks ye’re goin’ ta whisk me off ta London and they’ll never see me again.”
The wind rushed out of him. That’s exactly what he should do. Why hadn’t he thought of it himself? The moon did call to him when he was with Elspeth. He should have her with him always. Then there was the little matter that he liked having her around. He could just imagine her waking up in his arms every morning. “And what do you think about that?” he asked.
He could offer her much more than this cottage. Her grandfather was gone. No one needed her like Ben did. This was perfect.
“I think I hardly ken ye.”
Ben smiled. “Ah, you know me better than most women, Elspeth. No one else knows what I am. No one else can touch me the way you do.” No one else made him burn for her the way she did either.
She shook her head. “I’ll tell ye what I told Caitrin. This is my home. I willna leave it.”
He blinked at her. Didn’t she know who he was? What he could offer her? If he could get her away from the other four, maybe he could convince her to stay with him. “Not even to find your father?” he suggested.
Her emerald eyes grew round with surprise. “That’s impossible.”
“Not necessarily,” he informed her. “I’ve been thinking about it, wondering who he is. I should take you to see Major Forster—”
“Major Forster? He’s Scottish?”
Ben frowned. “I suppose he is.” He’d never thought much about that before. He sounded nearly as English as the next fellow after his many years in the army. “He runs the Lycanian Society in London—”
“The Lycanian Society?”
“Hmm. It’s an organization for my kind. Most of us are registered. About ninety, ninety-five percent. The Society knows about each of us. Who we are. Where we’ve been. That sort of thing. And we take care of our own. Orphaned boys, those who need medical care. With a little research, we can probably find the Lycan who—”
“—is my father,” she finished. “I never thought ta find him. It never seemed a possibility.”
Perhaps it was a bad idea. She looked so sad, Ben wanted to envelop her in his arms and make her forget he mentioned it. “If you don’t want to look for him, that’s understandable, too.”
Elspeth placed her tea on the small table in front of them and looked down at the mark on her wrist. “If he’s still alive, I would like ta find him. I have many questions. A lifetime’s worth.”
Ben brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “Then I’ll help you find him, Ellie.”
Her smile lit up the small room. “Like ye found my hair combs?”
Her hair combs. They had to have been a gift from the girl’s sire to her mother. “Exactly.”
They could leave tomorrow after the funeral. The sooner he got her away from the others, the better.
“But no’ until I heal ye.”
“Can’t you do that in London?”
She giggled. “Everythin’ I need is here, Ben. Ye came ta me ta be healed. I canna let ye leave until then.”
Eighteen
Elspeth watched Ben over the rim of her teacup. He’d settled into the settee and looked more than comfortable with himself, his light hair hanging rakishly across his brow. She could watch him forever and never tire of it.
After a moment, Ben sat forward. “I should probably go. I would hate for anyone to find out you were alone with me after dark.” His hazel eyes twinkled at her.
But she didn’t want him to leave. Not yet. “It’s rare ta have visitors this late at night. I’m sure we’re safe for at least a while.” His head tipped to the side. “So doona go,” she mumbled.
“We have excellent hearing, you know?” The corners of his mouth tilted into a grin.
Elspeth bit back a curse. “Of course ye can hear me. Ye can probably hear my thoughts as well.”
“No. Your thoughts are safe. But I do have fun trying to read your mind.”
“How successful are ye at that?”
“Not very, actually.” He scratched his chin. “Why don’t you make it easy for me and tell me what you
’re thinking?”
“Because then there would be no challenge and you would lose interest completely.” And she did so want to challenge him.
“Very true.” He nodded his agreement before his eyes roamed across her body. El crossed her arms over her chest when she felt her nipples harden. He chuckled.
She gasped, “Ye can read my mind!”
“No, lass, I promise you.” He held up one hand to silence her protest. “Your body speaks to me much more clearly than your mind does.” He adjusted his trousers. “And I really should go, because sitting here makes me want you again.” His eyes darkened a shade, but he made no move to leave.
Her heart skipped a beat. “But we just—” She motioned toward the door and then glanced at the mark on her wrist.
“That was nothing, love. A bit of pleasure. But it can be better.” His gaze went from warm to smoldering.
“I doona ken if I can survive better,” she whispered to herself.
“Of course you can,” he chuckled. He flashed a wolfish smile at her discomfort and pointed to his ear, relaxing again against the settee. “Excellent hearing, remember?”
“What other gifts do ye have?”
“Aside from being able to bring you pleasure?” His grin widened.
“Aye, aside from that,” she sighed. The time for games was over. Because Elspeth suddenly had the feeling she was outmatched.
Ben enjoyed teasing her. He enjoyed it more than anything he’d done in a long time. But he kept forgetting she was an innocent. She wasn’t a whore or a widow, or even a tavern wench. She was a good girl. And he’d do well to remember that.
She rubbed her hands together nervously.
“Sorry, lass, I’ll be on my best behavior. Ask me anything you want to know about Lycans,” he prompted, sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, prepared to give her his full attention.
“Anythin’?”
He winked at her.
Elspeth sat forward, too, her inquisitive smile warming his heart. “Will ye tell me more about the change?”
“What would you like to know?”
“What’s it like for ye? Changin’?”
“It’s hard to explain,” he started.
“Give it a try.”
He took a deep breath. Where would be the best starting point? “When Lycans come into maturity, we grow bigger, stronger, and faster than others. We need this strength on our wolf side in order to compete with predators who might destroy us when we are in our wolf form. It can be a bit scary at first.”
“In what way?”
“You start to feel the pull of the moon. As it waxes, the call is stronger and stronger. We become more aggressive as our bodies prepare for the change.” He narrowed his eyes and watched her closely so that he could gauge her reaction to his next revelation. “We become more lusty, too. Which is how I got into this mess.”
“Ye know what caused ye ta stop changin’?” she asked.
If he told her about that, she could probably guide him better. But he was so hesitant to reveal that aspect of his life to her.
“Out with it. Tell me what happened.” She didn’t appear to be willing to take no for an answer.
“I can’t.” Heat crept up his face.
“Are ye blushin’, Ben?”
“I suppose I am,” he said quietly.
“Tell me more,” she prompted.
“I was with a…” He stopped and tugged at his cravat. This was harder than telling her he was a Lycan.
“A person?” She motioned with her hands for him to continue.
“Yes, a person. A woman, actually.” He stood up to pace. If he kept moving, kept talking, he could tell her. “You see, Lycans cannot be with women in the days prior to the moonful, because we get a bit lusty and that lust can cause us to hurt someone.” He stopped pacing and stared at her.
She gasped. “Please tell me ye dinna hit a woman, Ben.” She stood up and shook her head.
“I never hit her,” he started. “But I was a bit too forceful with her. I lost control.”
“I still doona understand.” This was growing more and more frustrating. “What did ye do ta her?”
“I bit her,” he snapped quietly, and was immediately sorry for his tone.
“I’m afraid my hearin’ is no’ as keen as yers.” Although Ben would bet it was better than most. “Will ye repeat that?”
“I said, I bit her,” he repeated with more force.
“Well, why in the world would ye do that?”
“I couldn’t help it.”
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She was obviously frustrated with him.
“Lycans mark their mate.”
Her eyes flew open. “Mark? As in bite?”
He nodded. “Although she wasn’t my intended mate, I lost control and bit her. I knew she wasn’t mine. And if I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time, I wouldn’t have lost control. And I would still be able to change.”
He walked closer to her and lifted the fiery tresses from her shoulders, revealing her neck. He lowered his head to where her neck met her shoulder. He breathed in her scent for a moment. “This is where a Lycan marks his mate,” he said before he very gently nipped her skin with his teeth.
Immediately the scent of desire engulfed him. Her body warmed beneath his touch and reflected off her in waves.
“That dinna hurt,” she whispered, clutching his jacket.
“I didn’t mark you.” His fingers brushed over the spot he’d nipped. “I just showed you where a mark would be.”
“Would ye want ta mark me?” she asked, refusing to meet his gaze.
He tipped her chin up with his finger. “More than anything, Elspeth.”
“Oh,” she breathed. Her heart was beating so fast he could hear it.
“But I cannot,” he said, taking a step backward. “I wouldn’t take the risk of hurting you.” He tried not to let disappointment cloud his words, but it was difficult.
“Ye lost control with this woman? Who was she ta ye? Yer intended?”
“Not exactly,” he hedged.
“No?” She smiled brightly. “Then who was she?”
“Elspeth.” He sighed her name and rolled his eyes away from her, trying to buy some time. But she just glared at him with those beautiful green eyes. So he told her the truth. “She was nobody, just a whore.”
He closed his eyes and waited for her reaction. But she slung her fist and hit him in the jaw before he even felt the rush of wind that was her setup.
Nineteen
“What was that for?” Ben blinked at her.
Elspeth had never hit another human being in her life. But a blinding rage overcame her when he’d said the word “whore.” It was a word she’d heard her whole life, usually in reference to her mother. And it would not be tolerated in her home.
“I’d appreciate it if ye’d go, Lord Benjamin.” She walked to the door and held it open without even looking in his direction.
“Elspeth,” he began, walking toward her. “Please let me explain.”
“No explanations needed, Lord Benjamin.” She pushed his shoulder to get him through the door, though it would have been easier to move a boulder. “I would suggest ye go, or I’ll summon Caitrin and have her bring that cauldron of oil.” Her gaze met his, finally.
He looked tortured, but she refused to budge. “Ye’ve no idea what damage a few witches can do with a cauldron of oil.”
“I’ll leave,” he whispered, then soundlessly he left her cottage and disappeared into the darkness.
Numb, Elspeth stared into the chilly night before finally closing the door. Nobody, just a whore. Anger engulfed every part of her. How dare he say something like that? That woman, whoever she was, wasn’t nobody. She was a person. Maybe she had children to feed and clothe. Maybe she’d stumbled on hard times. Maybe she’d fallen in love with the wrong man, who’d used her then abandoned her.
Nobody, just a whore. She’d never get to sleep
with this fury pounding through her. Elspeth looked about the room. There was plenty to do to keep her busy.
She could tidy up before tomorrow. She could use a spell and be done in an instant, but that wouldn’t help her get rid of her irritated energy. She picked up the teacups and spoons before sweeping the floor and scrubbing the table. It didn’t matter, however. Nothing helped her forget Ben’s cruel words.
Once the cottage sparkled and she couldn’t find anything else to occupy her, Elspeth finally stumbled into bed and slid beneath her counterpane. Breathing in the calming scent of heather by her bed, she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
Ben thrashed his way through the woods. He could just kick himself for being so goddamned stupid, for being so dicked in the nob. He knew telling her about the lightskirt in Brighton was a mistake. But he’d gone and done it anyway. He was being honest with her. Telling her what happened. He was baring his soul, for God’s sake—and she’d thrown him out.
Had he learned nothing from Will’s mistakes? Women didn’t understand men’s baser needs, and Ben’s needs were more base than most men’s. So what if he employed the use of whores from time to time? It wasn’t something he was ashamed of. Most men of his station did so. And he wasn’t married.
But she just kept pressuring him. Tell me, Ben. Tell me what happened. Who was the woman? Well, women shouldn’t go around asking questions if they don’t want to know the answers.
He’d so hoped Elspeth was different than that. There was something between them. A connection he didn’t know how to explain. A connection he didn’t want to explain—he just wanted to enjoy it.
And now she was furious with him, for something he’d done before he even knew her. He was a bloody idiot.
Ben stopped in his tracks when he noticed a light in one of the front windows of MacQuarrie’s home. Damn! All he needed was another conversation with Alec. He was not in the mood to hear more warnings about spending time with Elspeth Campbell. Perhaps he could stay the night in the stables.
Perhaps he should just pack up and go back to London.
Before the thought had time to take root in his mind, he shook it away. He still needed Elspeth to heal him. God damn it, he simply needed Elspeth.