by Lydia Dare
Elspeth frowned. Her mother had lived in the cottage every day of her life.
He continued quietly, “Then Fiona Macleod came out of the woods. She told me I was making a fool of myself. That your mother had gone on with her life, married a nice man from the other side of town, and had a daughter. That seeing her wouldn’t do me a bit of good.” He shrugged.
Why would Cait’s mother do such a thing? Why would she keep her mother from happiness? But she knew the answer, or thought she did. After all, Cait had tried to keep Ben from Elspeth. “She hated ye,” Elspeth said, shaking her head.
“Aye, she didn’t like that a beast had tried to steal her healer away.” The major rubbed his brow, as though the memories caused him pain. “I was so stunned by her words, I didn’t even have the presence of mind to tell her that Rose’s new marriage wasn’t valid, since she was still my wife.”
“Yer wife?” she gasped, stepping backward. “My mother was never married ta anyone. I was born out of wedlock.” She still bore the scars of that.
The major leaned forward and touched her cheek. “Oh, no, my dear. I loved her too much to ruin her. We were married in Ormiston. When we came back the next day, Rose didn’t want to tell her coven or your grandfather just yet. I needed to prove myself to them, your mother said. To be worthy.”
“So the courtship would come after the marriage?”
“That’s what it felt like. Only Bonnie Ferguson ever warmed up to me. And your grandfather wouldn’t accept me, no matter what. When I asked for her hand, which was already mine”—he bit the last out in a growl—“he said no. Then I was called back to my regiment. I told Rose to pack her things. That she’d be coming with me.”
None of that made sense, and Elspeth shook her head. “And she refused?”
“Aye, it was all foretold. A beast would come for Rose and try to take her from the coven, but she would resist him. Fiona’s prophesy was correct. In the end, your mother loved the Còig more than she loved me.”
Elspeth didn’t believe that for a moment, and she stepped away from the major. “She never stopped lovin’ ye. My grandfather said ye killed her. Ye broke her heart and it just took her fifteen years ta die of it. When she got sick, she didn’t have the strength ta fight the fever. She even summoned ye, and ye didn’t come.”
“Summoned me?” The major frowned. “My dear, I never received word from Rose. Not one letter. If she had told me about you, I’d have never let her stay in Edinburgh, no matter what Fiona Macleod saw.”
Elspeth’s mind was awhirl. Nothing seemed to make sense. Then the room began to spin, right before her world went black.
Forty-two
Ben stalked through the house, barking at all the servants, which made the maids skitter into corners and the footmen wince as he walked by. It wasn’t like him to act so boorish. Even Polack, the unflappable butler, simply raised his nose and regarded him with surprise.
“Elspeth!” he called again. Where the devil was she? He’d been looking for her for hours. The sun was falling in the sky, and he couldn’t find her anywhere. He’d entered every room in the house at least three times.
Finally Ben retreated into the study and sat down behind his desk. There he found a folded note on the center of the desk and picked it up. The feminine scrawl immediately caught his attention.
He unfolded the foolscap and couldn’t hold back a gasp as he read the contents.
My Dearest Ben,
I have left specific instructions with the cook as to your diet in the days leading up to the moonful. Please do not be as difficult for her as you have been for me. Also, there are some potions with labels in the top drawer of your desk. The largest should be used as a last resort, if you do not feel the beast within you on the night when the moon is at its best.
You deserve a wife who loves you, as I deserve to have a husband who loves me. I am aware that you do not, and cannot be that man. So I think it is best for us to sever our ties at this point. For what it is worth, I do love you.
Always,
Ellie
Ben’s heart lurched in his chest. She’d left him? Just like that? He could hardly believe it. Ellie was patient and compassionate. She wouldn’t destroy him like this.
What was it that Will had said earlier? When you’ve lost her, don’t come running to me. Will knew she meant to leave and hadn’t told him?
Fury replaced his emptiness, and he strode from the room with the intent to kill his brother. “William!” he bellowed through the house. “William!”
Polack approached him cautiously in the main hallway. “My lord, your brother is not here at the moment.”
“Where the devil is he?” Ben barked.
“I’m sure I don’t know, sir.”
“What about my wife? Do you know where she is?”
Polack looked at his shoes. “I have inquired about her ladyship’s whereabouts, as you seemed intent on locating her. Clarke says she left this afternoon on horseback.”
Horseback? She could be anywhere. “And he just
let her go?” he asked, mortified. He would sack the groomsman this instant.
As he started toward the back exit, Polack cleared his throat, stopping him. “She was with Lord William, sir. I’m certain Clarke would have had no reason to deny her a mount.”
A red haze filled Ben’s vision, and anger bubbled in his veins. He’d find the blackguard if it was the last thing he did.
After a half dozen bawdy houses, Will’s usual haunts, Ben finally found his brother at a hell, sitting at a hazard table, seemingly foxed. The last several hours he’d spent chasing after Will hadn’t dimmed Ben’s anger in the least. He stalked up behind his brother and yanked him out of his seat.
Will fell to the floor with a thud. “Ben?”
If anyone noticed the interaction, they hid it well. The other fellows spread out at the hazard table, absorbing Will’s vacated spot.
“I am going to kill you,” Ben hissed. “Where is she?”
His brother’s eyes narrowed, as though he was trying to focus on Ben. Then Will shook his head and scrambled back to his feet. “Elspeth?”
Who else would he be asking about? “Where did you take her? And how dare you tell her I don’t love her! What did you do, Will? Sweet-talk her with your damned irresistible charm? Did you console her? Did you touch my wife?”
A number of men who had been ignoring them suddenly became interested and shifted their attention from the tables to watch the Westfield brothers’ interaction. Will simply gaped at him. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Where is she?” Ben pushed Will with both hands, sending him crashing against a hazard table. Money and markers tumbled to the floor while players protested the interruption of their game.
“Hey,” one of the burly footmen called loudly. “You two, out of here.”
Will dusted himself off and glared at Ben. “I was winning, you lout.”
Winning! Ben would see to it that the only thing Will would win was a broken nose. He rose to his full height, then marched out the door, with Will following in his wake.
As soon as they were out on the dimly lit street, Ben grasped Will’s jacket and forced him up against the stone façade of the hell. “Did you put her on a coach headed back to Edinburgh? Tell me, or I’ll snap your neck.”
Will’s light blue eyes glared daggers at him. “You have three seconds, little brother, to remove your hands from my person.”
“Where is she?” Ben hissed again.
Will twisted from his grasp and pushed him with such force that Ben stumbled into the street. He looked up just in time to see a carriage led by matched greys about to trample him. He leapt out of the way, but the coach clipped his arm and spun him back to the ground.
“Agh!” he howled.
The pain from his shoulder spiked down his arm and across his back. He rolled out of the street back to the safety of the walk, groaning and grasping his bad arm with his good one. He wasn’t unaccustomed to pa
in, but as a Lycan, it never lasted long. Not until now.
Will stood above him, glowering. “Don’t be a baby, Benjamin. You brought this fight.”
He winced when he felt a sticky wetness through his jacket. Still, the pain in his arm was dull in comparison to the loss of Elspeth. “Tell me what you did with her, William.”
Will heaved a sigh. “I’m sure she’s patiently awaiting your pathetic hide at home, though I have no idea why she puts up with you.”
Ben shook his head. “No, she’s gone. And you took her from me. Clarke said you rode off together.”
Will scoffed. “I took her to Canis House. Forster was going to return her home after they looked through some records.”
His heart ached as her letter echoed in his mind. “She left me, Will. She left a note. She’s not coming back.”
“What?” Will asked, surprise in his voice. “I knew she was upset, but I didn’t think she’d take it that far, not without giving you the chance to come to your senses.” He looked down at Ben with a mix of sympathy and disgust.
“Why was she upset?”
Will heaved a sigh and pulled Ben back to his feet. He couldn’t hide the painful grunt that escaped him. Will’s expression turned to confusion. “You’re not healed yet?”
Ben shook his head. He wasn’t healed. Not his arm. Not the Lycan in him. Not his heart. “Why was she upset?”
“Why haven’t you healed?” He heard the panic in his brother’s voice.
Ben didn’t have it in him to hide from the truth anymore. “Because I’m broken, Will. I can’t transform, and I can’t heal myself.” His eyes dropped to the ground, escaping the look of pity that must be in his brother’s eyes. “Why was Ellie upset?”
“I tried to tell you this afternoon. She heard us talking, you and me. She heard you say you couldn’t love her.”
What had he done? His poor Ellie! He’d never meant to hurt her. If Will had plunged a knife into Ben’s chest, it would have been less painful. “Oh, dear God.”
“I told her you didn’t know what you were talking about,” Will explained. “I told her to give you time.”
Ben glowered. “Don’t speak for me, William. I know exactly what I’m talking about. I just wish she hadn’t heard.” Ellie was the kindest soul he knew. He would never have inflicted such pain. It was the reason he kept himself from giving her his heart, to keep from hurting her.
“You’re an even bigger fool than I’ve always thought.”
No matter what, she was still his wife, and Ben wouldn’t let her leave him. He turned his back on his brother and hailed a hack, still clasping his arm, which he was certain was broken. He barked out an address. Perhaps Major Forster knew where she was headed.
Forty-three
Elspeth blinked her eyes open, light from the halfmoon filtered in through the window. Where was she? After rubbing her eyes, she yawned.
“Awake, dear?” the major’s voice asked from the darkness.
She sucked in a surprised breath and managed to sit up in the bed. “Major Forster?”
He stepped out of the shadows and sat on the edge of her bed. “You gave me quite the scare.”
“Where am I?”
“In my apartments at Canis House. Would you like some tea?”
She nodded. Her throat was a bit parched.
“I sent word to Benjamin so he wouldn’t worry.” He walked to the corner of the room and tugged the bell pull.
A lump formed in her throat and tears streamed down her cheeks. Now Ben would know where to find her. “I-I wish ye hadna done that.”
The major turned back to her and noticed her distress. “What is it, Lady Elspeth?”
She choked on a strangled laugh. The major was her father and yet he called her Lady Elspeth. Ben was her husband and yet he didn’t love her. How had her life become such a tangled mess?
He rushed forward and pounded on her back, a bit more forcefully than was needed. “Are you all right?”
Elspeth nodded, though tears poured from her eyes.
The major seemed at a complete loss, as though women crying in his presence were a new experience for him. “What can I do?” he asked, offering her his handkerchief.
“I-I doona want ta see Ben,” she managed to get out.
“All right,” he agreed quickly. “Just please stop crying.”
Elspeth blew her nose in the handkerchief and tried to bring her sobs under control. Thinking about Ben would only make her cry harder. “Tell me about yerself.”
Even in the dark room she could tell that his dark eyes warmed a bit. “What do you want to know, dear?”
She dabbed the tears on her cheeks. “I doona ken. Anythin’, everythin’. I doona ken the first thing about ye.”
Again the major sat at the edge of her bed. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Ye said ye were from Glasgow?”
He nodded. “Aye, but most of my life has been spent in England or on one battlefield or another.”
She listened quietly as he talked, not wanting to miss one detail.
“I went off to Harrow as a young lad. My mother’s family had a tidy sum and wanted me educated in England’s finest schools. They wanted me to go on to Cambridge, but I bought my commission instead. I was stationed in Canada, then on the Continent. After Waterloo I sold my commission. I’ve been heading up the Lycanian Society ever since.”
“In Glasgow ye’d heard tales of the Còig?”
His answer was interrupted when a scratch sounded at the door. “Come,” he called.
A young girl in a mop cap pushed open the door, carrying a tea service, and placed it on a bedside table. When she left, the major rose from his seat and started to pour. “How do you take it?”
“Two sugars, please.”
He returned to the bed and handed her a cup. “Just like Rose. I should have known.”
The mention of her mother made Elspeth frown. “Did ye say Mama never summoned ye? Her journal said otherwise.”
The major sighed and settled his large frame in a seat near the bed. “How would she have even known how to get in touch with me, lass? I didn’t have a permanent address. If she sent me letters, I never received them.”
“But she used a summoning spell. I-it drained what was left of her strength.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she hadn’t said them. He looked as if she’d struck him.
“Trying to find me?” he whispered in horror. “Oh, my poor Rose.”
His anguish brought fresh tears to her eyes, and she didn’t try to stop them as they trailed down her cheeks. Even here and now in a dimly lit room, she could see the love and pain reflected in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she offered numbly.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left her.”
“She resisted the vision ta stay with the coven.” It was a strong pull. One that Elspeth could understand, one that she should have followed herself.
“Resisted the vision?” he echoed. “No, lass. She wasn’t supposed to go with me. That vision was why she wouldn’t budge.”
That didn’t make any sense. Elspeth sat up straight. “But that’s no’ what Cait said.”
“Cait?”
“Our seer. Caitrin Macleod. She said her mother saw ye come for Mama and that ye’d take her away. It was the same vision Cait saw about… Ben.”
It was painful even to say his name, and Elspeth swallowed the ache that formed in her throat. Did the major—her father—remember the past differently?
He shook his head, and his eyes darkened. “No. Fiona Macleod said that I would come for Rose but that she would stay with the Còig and resist the temptation. I’ve heard it echoed in my heart every night since, Elspeth.”
An awful thought entered her mind. Mrs. Macleod wouldn’t…? But it was the only thing that made sense. “Why would she lie?” she muttered under her breath.
But with his Lycan hearing, her father heard her. “To keep Rose. To keep their coven intact.”
>
Even Cait wouldn’t do such a terribly selfish thing.
Elspeth’s heart plummeted. All those years she and her mother had been alone. All those years that her mother spent mourning him, he’d apparently spent mourning her, too. She’d grown up with a stigma that she could never live down, no matter how many people came to her for help. All those years they could have been together. It was a waste.
“Did ye really marry her?” she asked softly.
His eyes met hers and he nodded. “I still have the license.”
Another scratch came at the door. The major’s eyes never left hers, and another wave of sadness washed over Elspeth. All the years they’d lost weren’t his fault. All the years she’d spent blaming him were in vain.
“Come,” her father called.
The same little maid pushed the door open. “Major, Lord Benjamin would like to see Lady Elspeth.”
She drew in a breath and shook her head. “I canna see him.”
“What did he do to you?” her father asked, his brow furrowed.
Elspeth simply shook her head. “Please.”
He glanced at the maid. “Tell Lord Benjamin I’ll be there shortly.”
When she shut the door, he turned his attention back to Elspeth. “Did he hurt you?”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Not in the way you mean. He… he doesna care for me. Please, I doona want ta see him.”
“Then he won’t bother you.” The major rose from his spot and left her alone.
Ben paced around the private drawing room, thanking God once again that he’d received the note from Forster. Ellie was safe. He could still make things right. How could he explain things to her so that she’d
understand? That question had plagued him the entire ride to Canis House, which wasn’t terribly easy with a broken arm. Though now that he was here, he no longer noticed the throb in his arm. All he wanted was the opportunity to see his wife.
“Benjamin,” Major Forster said from behind him.
He spun around. “Oh, Major. Thank you so much for the note. I was half out of my mind with worry.”
The major frowned at him. “She’s not up to seeing you right now, Ben.”