by Kat Stiles
“That’s perfectly understandable, to be confused. You’ve come into a dangerous power, and you don’t know how to control it.” He paused, studying me. There was a sympathy to his expression, like he knew exactly what I was going through. “You’ve had…accidents. People got…hurt.”
I snickered. “That’s sugarcoating it, don’t you think? I’m a fucking monster.”
“No,” he said at a volume that startled me. “You are not.”
Though I wanted to believe him, recent events proved otherwise. I looked off to the side, avoiding his deliberate gaze.
“Listen to me, Kate.” He waited for me to make eye contact. I sighed and relented, as he took my hands into his. That icy electricity was there once more, a deliciously cold tingling sensation I felt all over. “You are not a monster. You can learn to control it.”
I heard a familiar thump in the adjacent room. This is going to be interesting.
“And I’m here to help you.”
“Heard that before,” Viola said, as she burst into the room. She grabbed Steve’s shirt with both hands and shoved him away so hard, his body flew across the room.
“Oh my God!” I ran over to where he landed, all twisted against the side of my dresser. “You could’ve killed him!”
“He’s fine,” she said, looking nonchalantly at her nails. “Assholes like him always survive.”
I helped him get upright.
The bewildered expression on his face abruptly disappeared. “Viola.”
“Want some more?” Vi motioned for him to come closer. “I’ve been waiting too long to do this.”
“Enough!” I shouted, and stood in between them. “This isn’t helping.”
“Shit, you can’t tell me you believe him?” Vi stomped her foot down like a pissed off teenager.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I said. “But the two of you fighting isn’t going to solve anything.”
Pickles joined us in the bedroom, jumping up on the footboard, and walking the length of it while totally ignoring the corpse next to him. I thought he was about to clean himself, when he suddenly looked at Steve and hissed.
“Pickles, what’s wrong?”
He growled that pissed off cat growl they usually only reserve for other cats.
“See?” Vi said, motioning to Pickles. “Even the cat knows he’s an asshole!”
“I’ll come back,” Steve said.
“She doesn’t need you, dickhead!” Vi screamed. She lunged for Steve, but he teleported before she could take a swing at him. “Coward.”
She took in the whole surreal scene, and her jaw dropped. She moved closer to Alex on the bed. “Fuuuuuck.”
“Yeah.”
“Your power?” she asked, as she poked at Alex’s head. His eyes were open wide, as if he were terrified. It was like a scene out of a crappy B horror movie.
I nodded.
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
She sighed. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
“I don’t need a lecture on my poor life choices.” I held my arms against my chest. “What am I going to do? If I call the police—”
“Don’t even think about it—he’s one of their own. They’ll crucify you.”
“That’s what I figured.”
“So that leaves one choice. Have to dump the body.”
What she said made sense, but I was still coming to terms that he was actually dead. Somewhere deep down, I held out a glimmer of hope. “What if he’s still alive?”
“Without a pulse?”
“I know, I just thought, maybe they can revive him or something. Like CPR.”
Vi raised an eyebrow at me. “Guess it could happen.”
“Okay, so I dump him near a hospital.”
She laughed. “Have you not seen the security they have at hospitals? It was hard enough for me to sneak into your room the other night. We would totally get caught.”
I smiled at hearing her say “we.” She was going to help me.
“What?”
“You’re a good friend, Vi.” I took her hand and squeezed it.
“I told you, I got your back.” With her free hand, she gently caressed my cheek. “I’m here for you, always.”
I wasn’t even trying to look into her mind, but a picture appeared anyway: a soft kiss and a comforting hug.
“Thank you.” I hugged her. Part of me wanted to just stay in the embrace, where it was warm and loving and safe.
But I had to clean up my mess. I thought of the perfect place – behind that shitty convenience store where Steve had kidnapped me. There was a hospital close by and it was usually deserted, especially at night.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I teleported there alone to scout it out. Not a single soul around. It was as if Jethro (who was, in fact, working again) had managed to chase away every last customer with his natural charm.
I shook my head, trying to focus. With a dead cop at my apartment, I had to move fast. In my panicked state, it felt like the faster I got rid of the body, the better my chances were of getting away with it. I know it wasn’t logical. But who the fuck ever said I made sense? I’m a developer. When I’m not mumbling code constructs to myself, I’m thinking about nested cursors I have to rewrite. To the rest of the world, I’m barely coherent.
I cleaned up Alex as best I could, removing the condom and wiping down all the semen. I knew if they did an autopsy it wouldn’t matter, they’d still find traces. It would be a miracle if I could pull this off. Once I finished dressing him back in all his clothes, Vi propped him up.
Then I did it. With Vi’s help, I teleported Alex behind that shithole of a convenience store and placed his body against the side of a dumpster.
Chapter 2
Fuck, this is the kind of shit serial killers do. What is wrong with me? Maybe I was still in denial, maybe I was borderline delusional, but somewhere inside I still hoped they might be able to bring Alex back, if they could get to him soon enough. I couldn’t call the police myself—that would be too suspicious. But if I could get Jethro to discover the body…
I had Vi teleport back alone. If something were to happen and I did somehow get caught, there was no point in both of us getting busted.
As I walked to the front of the store, I realized I was wearing the come-fuck-me clothes I had put on for Alex. It didn’t even occur to me when I left my apartment how totally inappropriate my outfit was for being outside in civilization. Hell, for even being thirty something. I looked like a thirteen-year-old with self-esteem problems on a mission to lose my virginity. As if I weren’t feeling shitty enough about having to talk to Jethro…
I smoothed over my hair and tugged the short skirt down as far as it would go, before entering the convenience store. The malformed grin of the clerk appeared as if on cue.
“Look who it is!” He giggled creepily, as his gaze traveled down my body. “I see you’re dressed to party.”
I managed a fake smile. “I, uh, wanted to let you know, I saw—”
“This place is dead. I can lock up and we can go…” he trailed off but made some sexual gestures with his hands. I didn’t actively look into his mind, but his thoughts were so strong, they came through anyway. Of course, I was naked and on my knees, sucking his dick.
I cringed as I closed my eyes and tried to think happy thoughts to clear that image. First Steve popped into my head, but as soon as he did, he was replaced with Viola’s perfect nude form.
“As I was saying,” I continued, with my eyes open and the fake smile resurfacing, “I saw a man coughing, and he was headed behind the store. I’m worried he may be seriously ill. Maybe you should check up on him.”
Jethro seemed confused at first, as if his tiny brain were attempting to process the words in a way that would end up with him getting laid.
I folded my arms against my chest, to minimize his view of my tits. “I have to get going.”
As I headed out, he said, “Oh baby, come on! S
tay awhile.”
I waved bye without looking at him.
“I know you came back to see me! You want me!” I heard him yell from inside.
To ensure he would actually go investigate, I snuck into the shadows and watched. Jethro peered his head out, looking all around. “You don’t have to play hard to get,” he said, more quietly. His gaze darted from side to side, as if he were afraid of being ambushed by a team of bloodthirsty Jersey City ninja hoodlums. Finally, he headed behind the store. At hearing him chant, “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” I teleported back home.
Vi had a cup of coffee and a packet of cigarettes waiting for me. Though they both sounded good, I was too exhausted to reach for either. Pickles was curled up in her lap on the couch. I collapsed down next to her.
“Did anyone see you?”
“No. Got the clerk to go take a look.”
“Was that really a smart thing to do? I mean, what if he recognizes you?”
I sighed. I knew she had a point, but I was hoping he bought my innocent-bystander-noticed-something-amiss story. I rested my head against Vi’s arm, and she wrapped her arm around me. Pickles stirred, his eyes half-opened, but then he must’ve decided he didn’t give a shit and went back to sleep.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing, you know?” I spoke softly, to mask the sadness in my voice.
“It’ll be okay, Kate.” Vi gave me a gentle squeeze. “We’ll figure this out.”
I left her embrace and went to the bathroom. At first, I had only intended to splash some cold water on my face, but then I found myself sitting in the tub, with the shower pouring down on me. The water was cold – it took a solid couple of minutes before it was even lukewarm. I shivered, still fully clothed. Then I held my head in my hands and cried.
I don’t know how long I sat there in the tub. It wasn’t until I felt the gentle hands of Vi assist me to a standing position that I realized she was in there with me. She carefully undressed me, placing my wet clothes in the sink. I was only vaguely aware of what was happening, like I caught it all in my peripheral vision. She started to bathe me, gently and without any kind of sexuality, like a nurse would a patient. I continued to stare vacantly at the wall in front of me, crying intermittently.
But then something changed. I couldn’t tell if it was her or me—but at some point what we were doing crossed over from innocent to erotic. I snapped out of my stupor, and focused on Vi. Her gorgeous naked body was standing right in front of me. She dropped the pouf she was using to bathe me and used her hands instead, moving in slow circles on my breasts, teasing my nipples hard. Then she moved lower, working her way down until… I closed my eyes, allowing myself the pleasure of her touch.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I kissed her ferociously, like I hadn’t kissed anyone, ever. She kissed me back with the same intensity. Her strong arms wrapped around me, and her perfect body pressed against me. I shuddered at the pleasure.
We rinsed off and escaped to the bedroom. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s like I was aware of my actions, but at the same time I was still numb from Alex, and I just wanted to not feel so…wrong. Vi was exciting, and her intentions weren’t questionable or even selfish. She was simply into me. It was nice to forget for a while, to be with her.
Her kisses were intense but still feminine somehow—not as sloppy as Alex’s. She was gentle with me, taking her time with foreplay. I was so turned on. Touching her breasts, feeling the definition of her muscles was nothing short of amazing. She moved from my breasts and worked her way down. It wasn’t long before my eyes were rolling back in my head, experiencing the pleasure of her tongue.
I turned my head to the side and noticed the crumpled sheets next to me. And then I caught a glimmer of gold hidden under a corner of the sheet pile.
Was that…a wedding band?
Chapter 3
I sat up and slid away, my heart pounding as if I’d seen a ghost.
“What the fuck…” Vi mumbled.
I grabbed the ring, and confirmed my suspicion—it was Alex’s. The guy I had just murdered. And I’m having sex with my girlfriend like an hour later. What the fuck is wrong with me?
As pathetic as it sounds, I broke down again.
Vi rubbed my legs, but I couldn’t even think about her. How irresponsible was I, to even try to have sex again? I can’t afford to lose Vi.
“I can’t do this,” I said quietly.
She sighed. “What happened with that cop was an accident. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.”
“I can’t control it!” I screamed, though it wasn’t my intention. She was only trying to console me.
“You will, with time,” she said softly. “It took me a while too.”
I snickered. “And how many people did you kill before you figured out your power?”
She looked down.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this with you. Not now.”
Vi let out a frustrated yell. “I’m trying, Kate, so hard, just to be with you. What do you want? What am I doing wrong?”
“It’s not you.” I instantly regretted my response when her expression changed to one of ambivalence.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before—it’s not you, it’s me.” She got up off the bed and stormed out of the room.
I sighed. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy her touch or her company. I just didn’t want to lose her. “Vi, you don’t understand…”
“What is it I don’t get?” she said, as she came back, dressing herself in a hurry. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t get me. I only want to be with you. No strings attached, nothing fucked up like with Steve.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if I—”
My cell rang, interrupting my thought. I wasn’t going to get it, but Vi grabbed it and threw it on the bed. “When you figure out what you want, you let me know.” Before I could respond, she poofed out.
I felt like an ass, a total douchebag for pushing her away, yet again. Being alone was not at all what I wanted, especially at that moment. And like a douchebag, I started crying again.
The phone eventually stopped ringing. But then a minute later, it started back up again. The caller ID read “Jay,” so I answered it.
“Kate! How are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m okay, I guess,” I said, my voice still a little shaky. “It’s been a rough day for me.”
“Sounds like it. You wanna talk about it?”
I sighed. “Not really. A lot of fucked-up shit, you know? Like a code migration from a dead language.”
He giggled his adorable geeky giggle. I couldn’t help but smile a little.
“Was it the interrogation?” he asked. “Did the cop give you a hard time?”
I cringed at his choice of words—a bad unintentional pun, and at the very thought of Alex. When I didn’t answer, he continued, “Let me come over. Have you eaten?”
Food was the last thing on my mind, but of course I hadn’t eaten dinner. “I’m not hungry, but thanks for the offer.”
“Well, I could keep you company, then,” he said. “You sound like you could use a friend.”
I guess my voice must’ve given me away. I couldn’t deny that, but at the same time I was afraid I would break down in front of him too, basket case that I was. It turns out accidentally killing your lover kinda fucks with your brain.
“No, it’s all right. I’m sure you’re busy with your family.”
“I’m coming over.”
I was surprised by his assertiveness, something I hadn’t noticed in him. Before I could object, he hung up the phone. I texted him: you really don’t need to come.
On my way was his reply.
Shitballs. I wiped my eyes and dressed in the most comfortable outfit I owned – an off-the-shoulder oversized shirt with my most comfy pair of jeans.
I splashed some water on my face in an attempt to return to normal. It didn’t work. My
eyes were red and my skin splotchy from all my crying outbursts. I looked like a fucking wreck, which of course I was.
I heard footsteps in the living room, and half expected to see Vi. Maybe I was more hoping to see her, so I could apologize and try to explain. But in the back of my mind I knew she hadn’t figured out landings yet. Which left only one other person…
“Are you okay?” Strands of Steve’s long blonde hair had escaped his ponytail, and it threw me to see him not looking perfect. His blue eyes took me in from head to toe, as if he were assessing for injuries.
I sighed, unsure of how to react to his presence. Having already broken down in front of him once today, I was determined not to do it again. “I’m fine.”
“After what you’ve been through, I highly doubt that,” he said, as he hugged me gently. “Can I get you anything? Some tea perhaps?”
I arched an eyebrow at him.
“Forgive me. Coffee?” He smiled sheepishly. “Everyone’s always drinking coffee in this country, right?”
“I don’t want anything,” I said slowly, in an effort to maintain an even, rational tone.
But by the panicked look on Steve’s face, it seemed to only make him think I was mad at him.
“Look, I’m sorry.” I don’t know why I said that, I guess it was to reassure him or something. I avoided eye contact and wrapped my arms around my waist, as if it would help me hold my shit together.
He positioned himself behind me and rested his cold arms atop mine, holding me. His clean scent filled my nose, and my eyes closed involuntarily. “Kate, I’m here for you. If you want to talk about it, I can help you.”
His very presence was intoxicating, but when he pushed back my hair and planted a soft kiss on my bare shoulder, I nearly lost it. His body next to mine fired up a desire I didn’t think I was capable of, only moments after… Alex. The image of his motionless body popped into my head and had the effect of a cold shower.
“Help me or deliver me?” I turned to face him, and without even consciously trying, probed his mind.
There was a single thought—a strong desire for me. His eyes switched from gazing into mine, to focusing on my lips. Then, he kissed me so passionately I nearly lost my footing. He caught me before I fell, scooping me up in his arms, and gently placing me down on the couch.