by Jamie Begley
Putting on her tennis shoes, she went to her backpack as Bubba filled an old-fashioned kettle with water, placing it on the fire to get hot. Unzipping her backpack, she pulled out a baggie of blueberry muffins, then another one of bagels, and one containing oatmeal packets. Opening the flap on the front, she then took out packets of honey, jelly, and fruit trail mix.
Her cousins looked at her offerings, then narrowed their eyes at Dustin, who sat down next to her eleven-year-old cousin BoDean, who looked even less enthused than the others.
“What’d you bring?” Bo asked.
“Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You’re more than welcome to help yourself.”
“Never mind. Give me one of those muffins, Jessie.”
Bubba and Bud refilled their thermos before rudely leaving the coffeepot empty and sitting to the side. Seeing Dustin’s harassed expression, Jessie quickly refilled it, putting it back on the fire.
She was squeezing jelly onto a bagel when Logan came out of the tent. His eyes widened at seeing her cousins sitting around the campfire.
“Logan, these are my cousins, Bubba, Bud, and BoDean.” Pointing to each of them in turn, she then gave him what was left in the baggies.
Shyly, Logan sat down next to his father to take out the remaining muffin.
“Aren’t we going to make toads in the hole?” Logan asked his father with a questioning glance.
Bubba spit out a bite of the muffin he had just taken. “You have real food?”
Dustin’s jaw jutted out stubbornly. “Maybe.”
“Boy, which is it?”
“Logan, Jessie, and I are having toads in a hole. You and Bud are having Jessie’s food. I’m still debating if I’m going to share with Bo.”
“Jessie, you know he had the makin’s for the toad?”
Giving Dustin and her older cousins fulminating glares, she went to the ice chest that she hadn’t bothered to go through the night before. Taking out the eggs, cheese, and meat, she carried them back to the fire.
“You’re going to need the cast iron skillet in the bag in the tent,” Dustin supplied helpfully.
When she raised the eggs warningly at him, he turned to Logan. “Go get the skillet for her.”
Logan quickly went to the tent, coming back carrying the skillet. When he would have handed it to Jessie, Dustin stopped him.
“You better let me have it. I don’t trust her with it.”
Logan immediately carried it to his father. “Are you afraid she’ll burn them?”
“No, I’m afraid Jessie will bash me over the head with it.”
18
“I can’t believe you guys!” Jessie complained all the way home.
“He deserved it,” Bubba defended his and Bud’s behavior. “It didn’t hurt him to share.”
“You ate most of it!”
“You’re exaggerating. He had a few bites.”
“Excuse me. He had two bites of eggs and one sausage link,” she snapped waspishly.
“That was plenty.” Bubba laughed, elbowing Bud conspiringly in his stomach.
Fuming, she went into her house, flipping the lock before they could come inside and ignoring Asher and Holt’s inquisitive gazes.
“We’ve got to use the bathroom!” Bud yelled out from the other side of the door.
“You’ve got the whole woods as a restroom; take your pick!” she yelled back.
“Holt, you and Asher in there?” Bubba’s booming voice rattled the doorframe.
“You make one move, and I’ll gut you both,” she warned her brothers.
They went back to making sandwiches.
She left them sitting outside for forty-five minutes before she would let Holt open the door. Bubba, being the oldest and biggest, made it to the only bathroom first.
Since she was vacuuming and straightening the living room, they were wise enough to stay in the hallway until it was their turn.
Disregarding them, she finished the chores around the house as her family went outside to talk. Since her cousins were probably telling them that she slept in Dustin’s sleeping bag, she was surprised when they came in an hour later, not mentioning the fact.
When bedtime came around and they still hadn’t said anything, she took a shower, then went to bed. Tired from cleaning all day, she fell asleep quickly. However, the same nightmare she had since her kidnapping struck again, having her turn on the television set to take her mind off it until she was tired enough to go back to sleep.
She was flicking uninterestedly through the channels when she heard the ping at her window.
“What do you want?” she asked after raising the window.
“You want some company?”
“Fine.”
She got back under the covers, pretending interest in the television show she didn’t feel.
“What are you doing awake?” Dustin asked as he climbed through the windowsill.
“What does it look like?” She motioned toward the TV, not objecting when Dustin took off his boots off and lay down next to her.
“Can I have a pillow?”
Jessie reached to her side, picking up one of the smaller pillows and handing it to him.
“How long is everyone going to lose sleep watching over me?” she asked in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Until we find the bastard. You mind if I change the channel?”
“Go ahead.” Scooting down farther in the bed, she plumped her pillow before closing her eyes. “Turn the television off when you’re done.”
“Okay.”
He was gone when she woke in the morning.
Leaving the bedroom after getting dressed, Jessie went to the kitchen and started cooking.
Making pancakes, she added chocolate chips to the batter while the bacon fried. After the griddle heated, she was reaching for the batter when she saw Holt leaning against the counter.
“You’re not going to church?”
“No.” Finding a ladle in a drawer, she poured some batter onto the hot griddle.
“You used to hate missing church, even when you were sick.”
“I’m not sick.” She expertly flipped the pancakes.
“You should go.”
“I’m not ready to go back to church. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
“You can’t let one man change the way you live your life.”
She slid four perfectly formed pancakes onto a plate, then set it on the counter. “You can get the butter and syrup out of the refrigerator.”
Holt moved behind her, going to the fridge. “You want me to pour you some juice?”
“Please.” She scooped more batter out as Asher came in, scratching his bare chest.
“Is that bacon I smell frying?”
Jessie used her spatula to point at the plate on the counter.
Finishing the last of the batter, she turned the grill off and made herself a plate of pancakes, managing to nab a couple of pieces of bacon before dumping the rest onto his plate.
They ate without talking, other than the grunts of appreciation coming from Asher and Holt.
She was working on her last bite when Holt stood up, taking the dirty dishes away to stack them in the sink. He looked her critically over as he turned the water on. “Why don’t you put on something more presentable?”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“You have bacon grease on your shirt, and you should brush your hair.”
“No one is here but us. Why do you care what I look like?”
“Since Dustin called and asked if you were awake. He said to tell you that he and Logan will be here by twelve. They want to take you on a picnic.”
“It’s eleven thirty, and you’re just now telling me that after I ate a big breakfast?”
“It slipped my mind.”
Growling, she hurried to her bedroom to change her clothes. Choosing a hunter-green and white dress that fell to her calves, she then dug out the matching green boots. Instead of putting them
on, though, she sank down to the floor, staring at them, lost in thought.
Jessie didn’t respond when she heard the light tap on her door, nor did she look up when it opened and closed.
Holt crouched down in front of her. “Dustin and Logan are here.”
“Tell them I’m not here.” She numbly continued to stare at the boots.
“I already told them you were.”
“Make up an excuse for me. I don’t want to go.”
“Why not?”
“Why does it matter? I figured it would make your day to get him to leave.”
“It would if you really wanted him to, but you don’t. As much as I love you, Jess, I can’t let you lie to yourself.”
She raised tear-filled eyes to his. “I can’t love him again. I bought this dress and boots to wear if I won the auction date with him. He couldn’t have cared less if I won or lost. I hate him.”
“No, you don’t. I really wish you did, but you don’t. You don’t have it in you to hate anyone, especially not Dustin.” He took her hands, forcing her to her feet, then leading her to the foot of her bed, where he pushed her back down.
“You two used to chase each across the front yard, and then, when I looked again, you both would be gone, getting into Lord knows what.” Holt went to her boots, bringing them back, then lifting one foot at a time to put them on her feet.
“If it makes you feel better to hate him, go ahead. But deep down, both of us know it isn’t true. You can’t turn love on and off like a water faucet. You just have to mop it up and fix the leak so it doesn’t happen again.
“Seems to me that Dustin is working awfully hard to fix his rift with you. What you need to decide is if you’re going to wash your hands of him or let him fix it so it doesn’t break again.”
“What do you think I should do?” she asked shakily.
“That’s for you to decide. What makes you happy makes me happy.” Taking one of her hands, he moved her to stand in front of the mirror. Brushing her hair down, he separated it into three sections before weaving it into a single braid. “Ready?”
“No.”
Despite her protest, her brother gave her an encouraging smile in the mirror. “Yes, you are.” He then turned her toward the door and frog-marched her into the living room.
The shock of seeing Logan and BoDean standing at the front door with Dustin had her frown disappearing into one of confusion.
“Logan asked if BoDean could come with us to our picnic.”
“That was nice of you.” That Logan had extended the invitation lightened her heart.
Their cousin Kyle had been the only Hayes who had been allowed to go to school. He had begged to go until their uncle caved. He was younger than Bubba and Bud, and older than BoDean.
Unlike the rest of the Hayes, Kyle had been friendly, kind, and trusting. It was the trusting that had gotten him killed. His three brothers had taken it hard—the whole family had—but Holt and Asher had taken it especially hard. That was when Asher took even more interest in Diane and had begun drinking until he became a man Jessie almost didn’t recognize.
She had almost lost all hope of him getting back on steady feet until one weekend. She had come to their house and saw all the still full liquor bottles in the trashcan. She assumed Holt had put his foot down about Asher’s drinking. In hindsight, she realized why. It was the guilt at what he and Diane had done.
“You look pretty, Jessie.” Logan came to her side, giving her a warm smile.
“Thank you. You look very handsome in your Sunday clothes.” She extended her smile to her little cousin. “You look very nice, too, BoDean.”
“Pa made me. There’s no sense in getting all dressed just to go for a picnic.”
Jessie smoothed down the collar of his shirt, recognizing it as one of Kyle’s hand-me-downs. “I appreciate the effort. You even slicked down your hair. I’m a lucky woman to have three handsome men all to myself for lunch.”
“I like that shade of green on you.” Dustin hadn’t taken his appreciative gaze off her since she walked into the room.
Jessie raised a nervous hand to her hair, tucking a loose tendril behind her ear. His compliment had varying expressions crossing the features of the men in the room. Logan was the only one pleased at the husky timber of appreciation in Dustin’s voice.
“I like that color shirt on you, Asher. What color do you think it is?” Holt said, mimicking Dustin.
“This old thing? I think it’s canary blue.” Asher gave a heartfelt sigh after speaking in a high-pitched voice.
Jessie gave each of her brothers killing glares that had them both retreating behind the kitchen counter.
To his credit, Dustin ignored them, lifting her jacket from the coatrack on the wall. “It’s a little cool today. You might need it.”
He held the jacket out for her as she slipped her arms through the holes. His hands remained possessively on her shoulders when she had it on.
“So, where are we going to have the picnic? If it’s going to be a long walk, I might need to change my shoes. I haven’t …” Jessie tilted her head as she heard a car pull into the driveway. Not wanting to see anyone, she started to take off for her room, but Dustin stopped her.
“You don’t have to change your shoes. We aren’t going far.” Dustin took her hand before she could make her escape.
“Dustin, I really don’t want to see anyone.”
“Jess, come see. If you want to come back inside, I won’t stop you.”
Opening the door, he drew her outside as another car pulled into the driveway, then a truck, each vehicle vying for a space to park.
Dustin tightened his hand on hers as Logan and her family came outside to stand.
Lily, Beth, Winter, and Killyama piled out of SUV. Diamond got out of her car to open the back door and take Brink out of his car seat. Bliss opened her car door, and Darcy hopped down from the back seat.
When she tugged her hand away from Dustin’s, he let her go as he had said he would. Instead of going inside, though, she wound her arm through his and leaned against him for support. She couldn’t help staring at the women who were parking and getting out of their cars, making their way to where she was standing on the porch. Each one carried their Bible.
Jessie bit down on her bottom lip, trying not to cry even more. Using her free hand, she wiped at the tears that she couldn’t stop at the outpouring of love from her church. There were so many cars and trucks that there wasn’t enough room for them all, so they began parking along the dirt road down the hill.
Jessie couldn’t see how many women there were, because she couldn’t look over their heads and because of the tears. When she finally managed to wipe enough of them away, she saw that the sea of women had parted, allowing Lucky and Willa to walk toward her.
Dustin lowered his head as they drew closer, pressing his mouth to her ear. “Lucky volunteered to take the DNA test three times, and I watched them take the last sample myself.”
If there was one man in Treepoint who she had never believed could hurt her, it was her pastor.
Lucky and Willa came to a stop in front of her. Then Willa stepped forward to give her a quick hug before stepping back to her husband’s side.
“It’s a beautiful day.”
“Yes, it is, Pastor.”
“We’ve missed you in church.”
Jessie swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’ve missed being there.”
“The congregation thought it was too beautiful to have the service inside today. Dustin has offered a spot on his property where Greer and Holly were married to have the service today. Will you join us?”
Afraid she would break down in tears again, she nodded.
“Logan,” Pastor Dean raised his voice, so everyone in the crowd could hear, “would you lead the way and start our opening hymn?”
“Yes, Pastor Dean.” Logan proudly moved around her to sidle through the crowd. At first, you could hear the first notes they sang at the be
ginning of every service, but then, one by one, each woman started following Logan, their voices joining in.
“Amazing … Grace …”
As Jessie stepped off the porch, one arm still wound through Dustin’s, she held her free hand out to Bliss.
Giving her a trembling smile, Bliss took it and Darcy’s hand. The four of them walked to the edge of the woods where Logan had disappeared, the raised voices floating through the woods.
“ … to sing God’s praise …”
If she never lived another moment, the coming together of the women in her church so she wouldn’t miss service was the most humbling experience she had ever experienced and one she would never forget. At least half the women didn’t even belong to her church. Some were the mothers from her daycare, others she had met in town, and still others were only acquaintances that she knew only by name.
“ … I was lost, but now am found.”
She had been lost when she returned. Now she could understand why the wrenching loneliness had grown after she left the hospital. She had kept away from her friends and the church when she needed them the most.
She learned early on that her daycare wouldn’t survive if she didn’t find help. She had more business sense than common sense. As much as she believed she could recover from her rape and kidnapping, she needed help and support from her friends, the church, and the one person who had never failed her.
The leaves of the tall trees swayed as they passed underneath. A feeling of homecoming soothed her soul that no one person could.
Jessie’s voice rose to sing with the others.
“… lead me home …”
As they walked closer to the fence, she saw the women weren’t having to climb over it. They were walking through a gate to pass through the field where Greer and Holly had been married.
There were blankets of every color waiting for everyone to sit down on. Sinking down onto a blue blanket where Logan was, Dustin settled down next to her as Bliss and Darcy joined them. Sutton, Tate, Greer, and Holly were already seated on the blanket beside theirs with Rosie crawling around, trying to escape Greer’s grip.